Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta strychnine. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta strychnine. Mostrar todas las entradas

sábado, 3 de enero de 2026

MURDER ON TUDOR CLOSE (Les Mis Hogwarts AU, you know)

Ever since Jumanji premiered in 1995, most 90s animated series (mostly Western animation) had a whole-plot reference episode where the characters get trapped in the world of a board game (Trapped in TV Land, board game subtrope/The Game Come to Life/Win to Exit: some examples: "Kibbleland" in All Dogs Go to Heaven, "The 30th Square of Cursed Senet" in Papyrus, heck, there was a whole Jumanji animated series where Judy and Peter entered the game once per episode!). 

In El semen de los ahorcados, StrixAlluka capitalised on the Game Come to Life trope by having the leading cast get trapped in the world of a bland-named Cluedo, Murder on Tudor Close (the characters and premise were more or less the same). Like the School Play episode (Othello, a gaiden set before the events of the saga), it was (partly) an excuse to put the cast in period costume - but it also served to explore cast dynamics, and the final twist (like in Murder on the Orient Express and "MMMystery on the Friendship Express, everyone is guilty!- Everybody Did It trope), which is even lampshaded, was remarkably well executed. This was not a gaiden or an omake, it took place in the main plot.

It happened in Book 2 (fifth grade) during the Christmas holidays. Montparnasse found the Murder on Tudor Close game (wizarding or Muggle? Never explained, it's left ambiguous) at the Three Broomsticks and challenged Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Grantaire, Éponine, and Cosette to play with him. Everyone of these seven was teleported to Tudor Close (a Tudor mansion located, gardens and all, on an asteroid in outer space, making this an extreme example of the Closed Circle trope). They were surprised on finding themselves in this setting and in period costume, and were greeted by Montparnasse as Lord Black, their host (Mr. Boddy in the real Cluedo) who gave them a tour of the estate and had supper with them until he was found dead in the observatory with signs of having been killed with things that all six of the guests/suspects could have used...

  • Enjolras as Miss Scarlett (Srta. Escarlata) in drag (was shocked to find himself in a sexy dress!) - weaponised stiletto heels
  • Combeferre as Professor Blackberry (Prof. Zarzamora) - ancient tablet in cuneiform (Sumerian)
  • Courfeyrac as Colonel Mustang (Col. Rubio) - katana
  • Grantaire as Signor Verdi (Sr. Verdi) - Venus de Milo's arms
  • Cosette as Lady Celeste - jewelled hairpin
  • Éponine as Mrs. White (Sra. Blanca) the cleaning lady - envelope of rat poison (containing strychnine)
They would only escape if they said "It was X (person) with Y (weapon) in the observatory --or wherever on Tudor Close they had attacked Lord Black," but they all suffered from amnesia right after the supper (Lord Black/Montparnasse Obliviated them) - the Everybody Did It twist was mounted gradually, as all of them had flashbacks until the truth was revealed - and they found themselves in their usual Hogwarts uniforms at the Three Broomsticks, Parnasse still alive... was it all a dream? But there were clues that it all had actually happened...

martes, 25 de noviembre de 2025

UNFORGIVABLE CURSES FOR MUGGLES

(MISS DERMARK ADVISES: Please don't try this at home! Unless you have an opponent whom you REALLY WANT TO FEEL the effect of an Unforgivable Curse! Also, these ones won't give you life sentence at Azkaban, but SURELY life sentence in a Muggle maximum security prison, or, in the worst case, a death sentence!)

Let's say you are a Muggle with a grudge, who wants to cast an Unforgivable Curse (regardless of the consequences) but the wand has no effect on your victim!
Nema problema! There are plant-based substances with the same effect as Unforgivable Curses! All three of these can be consumed via the oral route, so you can slip them into your victim's drink or soup while they are not looking...

DATURA - MUGGLE IMPERIUS
Comes from the plants in the Datura genus, which grows wild in both Asia and the New World, and which you surely have domesticated in your back garden or public park. Look for a flower that hangs down, has a trumpetlike look, and five small tips on its petals.
It has the same effect as Imperius: full control of the victim's mind, the victim will in a trance, under your control, for longer or shorter time, depending on the dose. After which, the victim will have blackouts (not remember anything that happened during the trance), just like an Imperiused person.

STRYCHNINE - MUGGLE CRUCIO
Comes from the dried strychnine seed, from a very orange-like fruit (that is best not to confuse with a real orange) from South and Southeast Asia. The substance has also been isolated chemically.
You will need to mask the taste - choose a drink with an intense flavour: strychnine has a special spicy-bitter flavour that will raise suspicions!
It has the same effect as Crucio: excruciating pain all over the victim's flesh. Plus they can't close their eyes, or open their mouth (whether to scream or to breathe). The only difference is that, while Crucio wears off, strychnine is always lethal (death comes as a relief).

CYANIDE - MUGGLE AVADA KEDAVRA
Can be found in apple seeds and stones/pits from the genus Prunus (peach pits, plum pits, cherry pits, and bitter almonds which are also Prunus). Also from the chemical Prussian blue or Prussic acid, which is the deep blue of old Prussian uniforms.
You will need to mask the taste and the scent - choose a strong perfume and a drink with an intense flavour: cyanide has a special bitter-almond flavour and matching aroma (like very concentrated marzipan) that will raise suspicions!
It has the same effect as Avada Kedavra: the victim dies on the spot, nearly painlessly (instantly in the case of Avada Kedavra, within seconds in the case of cyanide).

----------------------------------------
Quite a morbid article to post during Black Week, right? Just imagine that I've posted it on Halloween...

viernes, 18 de agosto de 2023

PUDDING MED ARSENIK

 PUDDING MED ARSENIK

Enligt Tor Isedal och Magoyond


I en gryta med stryknin

sättes till en dos morfin

Ljumma upp och häll i sen

ett glas fullt av fotogen...

Åh, jag häller nog i två!

Skrapa sen en igelslem,

ger en smak som fint går hem,

en skorpion i bitar små...

Och så vanlig peppar på!

NEEEEJ!!!

........................

Denna arsenik blir stark

när man sätter till av knark

två matskedar rågade...

Undrar om någon vågade!!!

Jo jo! Jag sätter nog till TRE!!

Ödleblod i särskild skål

hettas upp så långt det tål,

kobragift sju droppar små...

Och så pudersocker på!

NEEEEJ!!!

........................

Lite råttgift rörs däri,

bättre kan det knappast bli,

för att göra smaken fin

ta tre klyftor apelsin...

Jag tar bara EN!

Krydda upp med syltad frukt,

kamouflerar dålig lukt,

med essens av kaprifol...

Och en smula vitriol!

JAAA!!! Det är ju SVAVELSYRA!!!

Vi visste att det vore bra...

......................

Puddingen med arsenik 

säkert gör att några lik

hamnar uppå Nilens strand,

mums för krokodilens tand!

ZOM-BIER-NAAA!!!

(scattande)



martes, 22 de noviembre de 2022

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF DARK SUBJECT MATERIAL

There are, in my own humble opinion, four main criteria necessary to make a fiction extremely dark and edgy, or rude and crude, or unsuitable for people below their mid-teens, which is the same. Since there are four of them and they tend to crop up together and be wicked, I call them the Four Horsemen of Dark Subject Material. All four of them are more or less taboo to a younger target demographic. And who are these Horsemen? They are (in no particular order): Foul Language, Drug Use, Sex, and Death.

  1. Foul Language involves all instances of swearing and using taboo words, including (but not limited to) the famous seven dirty words: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock, motherfucker, and tits. One that did not make this list but is also quite common is ass, or arse. These are only the tip of the scheissberg...
  2. Drug Use involves the consumption not only of illegal drugs (cocaine, maryjane, meth...) but also of the so-called legal or social drugs (nicotine and alcohol), and even of fictional drugs (rauha, tracker jacker venom...); long story short, any substance that stimulates the mind and creates a habit that can spiral into addiction.
  3. Sex involves anything related to erotica, be it straight or LGBTQ+, from the first foreplay of curious late-teens to the presence of sex toys and shops where one is able to purchase them, from the presence of dominatrixes and S&M dungeons in villains' dens of iniquity to the practice of "dropping the soap" in the men's shower at the county jail (Highlight if you didn't get the "dropping the soap" joke yet.) The joke here is that, when the guy that dropped the soap bends down to pick it, naked, in the shower, a more muscular and taller cellmate ambushes and ass-rapes him from behind. It's a very distasteful and painful joke that, nevertheless, Hollywood has not wearied of.
  4. Death refers to those deaths that are more impactful than others. The death of a child or adolescent, a violent murder, the carnage of war or of a Mafia shootout, poisonings with graphic effects like arsenic or strychnine... That kind of deaths that it actually hurts to watch or to read about. Unless you have watched and/or read so much dark subject material that you have become desensitized.

jueves, 22 de febrero de 2018

FALSE ANGOSTURA

False Angostura


Héloïse de Villefort had, in all aspects save one, the gift that the true scientist must desire: that detachment from human loves and hatreds that allowed her to perform certain actions and to observe the results, without distressing herself about the means that she was obliged to employ.
Or, indeed, the obstacles that she was obliged to remove.
She listed them, carefully but without feeling, as she might have made an inventory of the instruments and chemicals in her possession:
Monsieur and Madame de Saint-Méran.
Noirtier de Villefort.
Valentine.
Yes, Valentine was the crux. Valentine was the point where it all met: two noble lines; two inheritances. Valentine was the final, the most important, link in the chain. And Valentine was young. Had she only had the grandparents to consider, Héloïse might have been patient; she might have left matters to nature. As things were, that was out of the question.
She had no quarrel with Valentine. Had she ever wanted a stepdaughter, she could not have asked for a meeker, sweeter, more pliant, one. But Héloïse de Villefort had not asked to become a stepmother when she was herself barely out of her teens. And when she became a mother – well.
Neither one of them desired Valentine's inheritance for herself. Valentine had a detachment of her own, an infuriating indifference to her own fortune. Why, it was scarcely a year ago that she would have renounced it all, and her freedom as well – would have confined herself to a convent for the rest of her life, would have flung aside all the riches that Héloïse would have crawled on the floor to retrieve. Not for herself. No, not for herself.
'Oh, but if she had!' Héloïse whispered to herself.
Well, there was no use thinking about that. Valentine was to inherit a vast fortune from her grandparents. Valentine was to be married.
This, of course, was entirely as matters should be. And Valentine's stepmother was obliged every day to agree that nothing could be more suitable than the match with Franz d'Epinay, to wish her a long and happy marriage, to accept with a gracious smile society's praise of her obedient stepdaughter.
No, there was nothing to complain at in Valentine's behaviour. She was inconvenient, that was all it was. Inconvenient as her maternal grandparents had been. Inconvenient as her paternal grandfather still was.
Héloïse de Villefort felt no more for Valentine than she felt for any of her scientific explorations. No – less, for she granted to this particular vial a respect that she afforded no human being. Sometimes she took it out and held it up, this little bottle of liquid, so that the light shone through it and made it glow. She murmured its names aloud, when nobody could hear her. Nux vomica. Saint Ignatius' nut. False angostura.
It had one name that she did not ever utter, not even to herself. And in this name was its power. This it was that would grant her the power to take life, and bestow riches where they were rightly due.
What, beside that, was Valentine?

jueves, 8 de septiembre de 2016

REVIEW: ATTACK ON TITANS/SNK

Attack on Titans or Shingeki no Kyójin (which can mean either "Advancing Titans" or "[Others] Advancing on the Titans") is the most recent anime series I follow, my own Netflix guilty pleasure, and that for a number of reasons. For those who don't know what it's all about, here are the basics about the premise and the characters:

Premise:
Centuries ago, the human species was decimated by gigantic, brutish humanoids known as titans.
The last outpost of humankind is a fortified kingdom guarded by three concentric fortification walls (the capital and the royal palace at the heart of the structure, the provincial towns and countryside within the walls around). Beyond the uttermost Wall Maria there is wilderness, unexplored wild nature populated by the hostile titans, that seem to appear out of the blue. The concentric structure of the kingdom can be explained like this:

STOHESS DISTRICT (the capital, heart of the realm)
WALL SINA (innermost wall)
PROVINCIAL TOWNS, MILITARY COMPLEXES
WALL ROSE (middle wall)
PROVINCIAL TOWNS, VILLAGES, RURAL AREAS (including Trost, the main setting, and Shiganshina, the leading trio's birthplace).
WALL MARIA (uttermost wall)
WILDERNESS (dangerous)

It is a country-esque land with a feudal society and quaint townscapes (half-timbered houses with eaves, cobbled streets, no motor vehicles at all), where nearly all the people are European-looking and have got Germanic names (though a few have got Hebrew or Japanese names). A precious setting. And the story takes, in general, place within the military; the uniforms are not as conspicuous and brightly-coloured as in other Ruritanias, --the ones in AoT/SnK look like 30YW-era attire mashed up with secret agent gear--, yet charming in their own way.

At first, we are introduced to Eren Jaeger, the doctor's son in the village of Shiganshina, an irascible and righteous boy with a never-give-up attitude; Mikasa Ackerman, Eren's adopted sister, a plucky and extremely strong and self-reliant girl; and Armin Arlert, an intelligent but physically frail blond orphan constantly picked on by the local bullies. The lives of all three take a turn for the worse when some titans breach through Wall Maria and march on Shiganshina, forcing the three young refugees to relocate to the town of Trost, within Wall Rose. Like most other people in the land, they idealize the military that defends the walls from the titans and decide to enlist. And the story deals with these three and their friends in the ranks, first as cadets and then as officers, as a sinister truth unfolds: there is a fifth column of titans within the military itself, some of those who fight titans are becoming titans themselves, and the nobility and royalty of the realm may not be looking for the most noble interest of humankind...
The other characters in the regiment are:
  • Jean Kirschstein, a carefree and slightly perverted auburn young man, sensuous yet realistic, prudent in the fight and thus seen as a coward, who wants to be a royal guard and lead a comfortable life in Stohess. In love with Mikasa and maybe with Marco, until the loss of the latter, like that of Renly to Loras Tyrell, makes his personality take a Copernican turn.
  • Marco Bott, Jean's bromantic partner, a sensitive and heartful young man (the idealist to Jean's realist) who also wants to be a royal guard, but for the more noble aim of protecting royalty. The heart of the regiment. Devoured by titans half-way across the series.
  • Conny Springer, the show's resident shavehead (there's one in every anime) as well as the regiment clown and the one who keeps everyone else's mood up. Sunny and outgoing, though always leaps before he looks.
  • Sasha Braus, an eccentric sunburned country girl and somewhat of a foodie. Looks like Katniss Everdeen (a tomboyish young woodswoman with a dark ponytail) and has the same backstory as Katniss, but with the personality of Luna Lovegood, and the same issues with structure. 
  • Christa Lenz, a sweet and innocent, friendly and warm blonde girl who can be best described as Desdemona with the serial numbers filed off. There is more to her than meets the eyes. The heart of the group after Marco's disappearance. (Is actually Historia Reiss, the crown princess of the kingdom, and becomes its queen in the end)
  • Ymir, a reserved and mannish tall and dark young woman, with an aloof and sinister air, nicknamed Freckles, and more than friends or sister figures with Ymir (the pairing, Yumikuri, is my AoT OTP). Is, IMOHO, the show's resident badass. (Is actually a titan)
  • Rainer Braun, the blond thug and more than best friends with Bertholdt. A popular and rugged brawny jock à la Gaston, considered the oniisama (big brother figure) to his siblings in arms. The big man on camp, described as being strong as a bull and thickheaded as one, as well as speaking in a manly baritone. (Is actually a titan)
  • Bertholdt Huwer (or Fubar), the raven-haired, sensitive, feminine other half of Rainer. Nicknamed Bert or Bertel. Shy and wavering, meek and lacking self-esteem (very like the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz), even something of a doormat, he looks up to his blond and hefty significant other. (Is actually a titan)
  • Annie Leonhardt, the blonde ice queen and the third leg of a trio with Rainer and Bert, as well as the trio leader. Even more of a realist than Jean, and a reserved loner even more aloof than Ymir. Has a sinister contralto voice and is an extremely skilful hand-to-hand fighter. Like Ymir, however, she is not as emotionless as it seems. (Is actually a titan)
  • Levi Ackerman; the commanding officer, a cool-as-ice young army captain who is blood related to Mikasa; a sharply-dressed perfectionist with a Napoleon complex and a violent hatred of germs. Experienced, capable, and older than he looks, as well as a night owl and compulsive tea drinker. Has a type for people taller than him (basically, the rest of the cast). Known as Humanity's Strongest. For such a size, he lives up to his reputation, as well as speaking in baritone and having a sinister air when he tranquilly gets irate (Levi is phlegmatic, tranquil, and never snaps).
  • Hange (pronounced "Hanji") Zoe: Levi's right-hand woman and the show's resident mad scientist: auburn and bespectacled, with a contralto voice and the personality of Professor Trelawney mashed up with Bellatrix Lestrange (indeed, she can be rather sadistic). Regarded as an eccentric, and a passionate researcher obsessed with titans. Just like Qyburn, she will do anything in the name of science.
  • Erwin Smith: the badass colonel and the only sane member of the regiment, a good-looking tall blond whose baritone voice and the look in whose blue eyes betray his earnestness and nerves of steel. An excellent strategist, he can be brutally honest and forced to make tough decisions due to the weight of his high rank. (Gets the same disability as Horatio Nelson, Mucius Scaevola, and Jaime Lannister)
From left to right: Christa, Ymir, Sasha, Annie, Mikasa, Conny, Eren, Armin, Marco, Jean, Rainer, and Bertholdt.

The two openings, "Feuerrotes Pfeil und Bogen" and "Flügel der Freiheit," contain (fittingly) German verses set to heavy symphonic music. Needless to say these songs are performed by Linked Horizon, the band formerly known as Sound Horizon, whose concept albums create an EPIC shared universe of historical/fairytale/flintlock/gaslamp fantasy.


The show combines military fiction with what I love the most about the Potterverse, ASoIaF, Othello, the Waterfire Saga, Monstrous Regiment, flintlock and/or gaslamp fantasy... i.e.: quaint, country-esque Ruritanian settings; a diverse ensemble cast of young people with different physiques, personalities, genders, and sexual orientatons; a sinister intrigue that gradually unfolds and unfurls, shocking revelations; the deaths of a few characters that you become attached to... Recommended if you like any of the stories above.

I've made a few projects based upon the series:
Attack on Enchantment - YumiKuri fairytale AUs: Savitri (Ymir as Savitri, Christa as Satyavan, and Annie as a Hela-inspired death goddess); The Snow Queen (Christa as Gerda, Ymir as Kai, featuring Rod Reiss as the Snow King, and a few other characters in supporting roles [Erwin as the headmaster of Trost Orphanage; Herr Arlert as the local sage / old witch character, Armin as himself/Herr Arlert's grandson; Jean and Marco as two royal guard lovers / crow characters, Rainer and Bertholdt as half-brother princes and Annie as their princess; Sasha as a kitchen maid/former friend of Christa's at the orphanage; Levi as a royal guard officer; Eren, Mikasa, Conny, and some others as outlaws; Hange as the Finmark woman character, and Fritz as the usurper of the northern ice kingdom]); Rapunzel (Christa in the title role, Ymir as Eugene, Annie as Gothel; Rainer and Bertholdt as the Stabbingtons); Beauty and the Beast (Christa as Belle, Ymir as the Beast, Annie as a dark take on the fairy, Rainer and Bertholdt as Gaston and Lefou, other members of the regiment as object-servants). Plus one that is not YumiKuri: The Pardoner's Tale/O Tesouro starring Rainer, Bertholdt and Annie, ft. Hange as a pharmacist eager to make a quick gain on strychnine ("for the rats," Annie says).
Attack on Shakespeare - YumiKuri doing the Bard: The Tempest (Eren as Caliban, Rainer and Bert as the jesters) and Othello, so far (Annie as Iago, and Rainer as Cassio, feat. Bert as an Emilia/Bianca composite character; a bit of a Wicked feel in using the traditional villain's POV in some scenes...).

jueves, 1 de septiembre de 2016

OBLIVION - SHAKESPEARE IN 8 MINUTES

Even Italian parody musical troupe Oblivion has hopped on the Bard's 4th Centennial bandwagon.
And the result is both redoubtable and hilarious, like any other Oblivion affectionate parody musical.
From Romeo drinking strychnine, to Desdemona stifled by her husband, to Lady M. washing the indelible bloodstains off her hands, to yandere Ophelia plunging into the lake, to Julius Caesar stabbed by the Senate XXIII times, to Cleopatra putting a sacred cobra to her --ehm-- bosom... Oblivion has served us the highlights of Shakespearean tragedy, brilliantly and tongue firmly in cheek as always, on a platinum platter:

viernes, 11 de diciembre de 2015

REELING AND WRITHING XI: THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS?

REELING AND WRITHING
or,
Miss Dermark's 2015 Advent Calendar

DAY ELEVEN

THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS?
or
RALF HART, ZANGRA, AND A LOCK OF HAIR CUT OFF

"And what about me? I have my creativity, I have my paintings, which are sought after by galleries all over the world, I have realised my dream, my village thinks of me as a beloved son, my ex-wives never ask me for alimony or anything like that, I have good health, reasonable looks, everything a man could want ... Do you know what loneliness is?
But you don't know what loneliness is like when you have the chance to be with other people all the time, when you get invitations every night to parties, cocktail parties, opening nights at the theatre ... When women are always ringing you up, women who love your work, who say how much they would like to have supper with you - they're beautiful, intelligent, educated women. But something pushes you away and says: 'Don't go. You won't enjoy yourself. You'll spend the whole night trying to impress them and squander your energies proving to yourself how you can charm the whole world. So I stay at home, go into my studio and try to find the light, and I can only see that light when I'm working."

Ralf Hart, world-renowned artist in his twenties, from a wealthy background in hinterland Francophone Switzerland (and my favourite Paulo Coelho character).

It's not hard to think of why Ralf Hart is my favourite Coelho character. Young, healthy, wealthy, renowned, artistic, intelligent... and still feeling empty, yearning for something more somewhere over the rainbow. Just like me. We are kindred spirits. Ralf is 29 going on 30, I am 23 going on 24. Both of us are only children from sheltered bourgeois backgrounds, with toys and books for friends (Ralf had his trains, I had my dolls and plushies), who have finally made it to have a social life thanks to their creative talent. Yes, Ralf Hart (like to put more examples: Cassio, Portia, the princess in Story the Fourth of The Snow Queen, Brienne of Tarth, Ada Goth, Luna Lovegood, Chamsous-Sabah, Oscar de Jarjayes, Jacinto [in Doña Perfecta]...) is a favourite of mine because I see myself reflected in that character. The words Ralf Hart says about his emotions and his past always bring me to tears. This passage in particular, if translated into French and put into verse, would make a great chanson.

Which brings me to my favourite chanson by Jacques Brel, the poet and singer-songwriter who said that "Flemish" and "Walloons" are but given names, and "Belgians" is the family name (what a statement of equality... I could not have said it more beautifully!)... Actually... No, it was Antoine Clesse who said that (shame upon me for adscribing those Clesse verses to Brel! *facepalms*)!! Anyway, Brel was the one who wrote and sung "Zangra", a song which follows the career of a military officer through his first person POV. In the first stanza, the narrator is a twentyish lieutenant; in the last one, he's a septuagenarian general; in between, in every stanza, he's one rank higher and one decade older than in the previous stanza. There is a stark difference between Lieutenant Zangra, at 22-23, who is stuck in the predictable routine of peacetime garrison life and yearns for war to break out, to depart for the frontlines, to experience more excitement and become a war hero, dead or alive, and, while waiting and finding the idleness of waiting tiresome, seeks distractions to fill that empty slot in his life... and General Zangra, at 72-73, who finally sees war break out, but is too bereft of enthusiasm to become a war hero, and constrained by health, mood, and duty to confront the enemy not on the front, but poring over a map-decked table, as he muses that he never will be the war hero he dreamt of in his youth. For each stanza, the character ages up one decade and gleans more experience, becoming more contented with the peacetime life he leads and seeking more and more serious distractions (from butterfly-style flirtation, to commitment with a girlfriend, to male drinking friends, to romancing the widow of one of said drinking friends, before war breaks out).
It has been said since the dawn of times that impatience is a typical flaw of youth, while patience is a typical virtue of maturity and old age. Like it takes decades for wine to better, it will take decades for me to develop these strengths of character. "Zangra" illustrates these points pretty well: General Zangra is far more experienced, and thus, both more patient and grateful, on one hand, and more disenchanted, on the other hand, than his young lieutenant self. Brel describes, using a character study, facts true to life.
In "Terence, This Is Stupid Stuff", by A.E. Housman, a case of self-immunization reminiscent of Oberyn Nymeros Martell is described at the end of a poem dealing with escapism, intoxication, and the problem of pain. Just like Oberyn, the character mentioned has gradually sampled lethal substances, little by little, to make himself immune:

They poured strychnine in his cup
and shook to see him drink it up...


Strychnine? That hurts for sure: as the film Psycho puts it, this is an "ugly way to die." So how does it fit into this article? Does a little disappointment, and ennui, and angst, and worry, and weariness, and apathy, and regret, and tempests in teacups... prepare one for the real troubles of the world, like sampling strychnine (or iocaine) in one's system does for eventual poisoning? Does what can't kill us make us stronger, like to Oberyn, and some Christie characters who needed a double or triple dose of strychnine than usual, and some characters in Monte-Cristo who drank the Count's lemonade and lived to tell the tale...? to face real trials, catastrophes, like those which the Tower (XVI) on Tarot signifies?
A poem by Jane Taylor, in fact, another favourite poem of mine, tells this proverbial wisdom as a conversation between mother and daughter, one of my favourite themes, which makes it even more heartwarming and makes it go down even sweeter....

THE DISAPPOINTMENT

By Jane Taylor

In tears to her mother poor Harriet came, 
  Let us listen to hear what she says:
"O see, dear mamma, it is pouring with rain, 
  We cannot go out in the chaise.
"All the week I have long'd for this holiday so,
  And fancied the minutes were hours;
And now that I'm dress'd and all ready to go,
  Do look at those terrible showers! "

"I'm sorry, my dear, " her kind mother replied,
  The rain disappoints us to-day;
But sorrow still more that you fret for a ride,
  In such an extravagant way.

"These slight disappointments are sent to prepare
  For what may hereafter befall;
For seasons of real disappointment and care,
  Which commonly happen to all.

"For just like to-day with its holiday lost,
  Is life and its comforts at best:
Our pleasures are blighted, our purposes cross'd,
  To teach us it is not our rest.

"And when those distresses and crosses appear,
  With which you may shortly be tried,
You'll wonder that ever you wasted a tear
  On merely the loss of a ride."

Yes, when I have grown old or at least into middle age, and get my life's real trials (my beloved books and films and CDs may be repossessed, my parents will surely die, I might get fired, or have to choose between doing commissions for the money or doing what I like and get poorly paid...). 
It would be the scenario described in my favourite Kipling verses:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
and lose, and start again at your beginnings,
and never breathe a word about your loss...
Which raises, of course, the most obvious question; Would my future self be able to never breathe a word about her loss?
I'm not sure if the prophylactic "strychnine" I had consumed in my youth will have any effect, but, just like Harriet, I will wonder if I ever wasted a tear on merely, let's say, my current disappointment: receiving only a few presents of all things I've got on my wishlist for this Christmas.
For it's how it is: like Lieutenant Zangra and like Ralf Hart, I have everything I could wish for, but I can't stop wishing and wondering, yearning beyond the rainbow, looking for ways to fill my inner emptiness. I don't believe in any gods, seeing how many incongruences both nature and free will put into human life, so, like many 90s children (and mind: I was a sheltered only child, with acquaintances and no friends or peer group), I was raised with consumerism for a religion. Yes. Mind. Publicists, advertising creatives (and this, along with illustrator and character designer, was one of my childhood dream jobs!), rely on psychologists, especially those who specialize in emotions. Watching adverts is far more satisfying than watching the 9 o'clock news (or Titus Andronicus, for that matter) because all you get is joy, without anything that reeks of negativity (like accidents, domestic abuse, warfare, terrorism, economic crises, natural disasters, losing sports teams, doping...). It's like the lotus eaters in the Odyssey, who were wired on their narcotic lotus seed capsules. All of us Sevens are, were, or have been lotus eaters. Yes, Fritz Freaking Nietzsche was freaking right, GOD IS STONE DEAD. But the assassin and the usurper that currently takes his place is not Nature: it is Pleasure.


"Gay Pleasure, frolick-loving dame!
Her mien all swimming in delight,
Her beauties half reveal'd to sight,
Loose flow'd her garments from the ground
And caught the kissing winds around:
As erst Medusa's looks were known
To turn beholders into stone,
A dire reversion here they felt,
And in the eye of Pleasure melt:
Her glance with sweet persuasion charm'd,
Unnerv'd the strong, the steel'd disarm'd,   
No safety ev'n the flying find
Who vent'rous look but once behind."

This was written by an Englishman in the days when Cromwell's military, men armed with pikes and halbards and a religion even harder than their iron breastplates, who had swept across enemy country, burning and killing whatever they could find, was no more than a painful memory that no one would bring back, when the bright colours and the entertainment of yore had returned with the rightful king's dynasty to the sceptred isles. That deliverance from strict, totalitarian dictatorship was the climate that saw English empiricism and utilitarianism, the foundations of today's moral mindset and of human rights, triumph.
But the ideals it defended were centuries older. Epicureanism, or hedonism, is as old as the triumph of the territorial state, and so are the self-expression values that is supports: the whole mindset dates back to Hellenism, and remained powerful as long as there were complex, multinational empires in the West. 
Christianity, with its condemnation of the flesh, the body, and the lust of the eyes, held it back under lock and key for a few centuries, until the conscience crisis that was caused by the Thirty Years' War set it free once more, and how did it run rampant! The English Restoration- or Augustan-era verses that introduce this section are merely the tip of the iceberg.
This mindset boomed at the turn of the nineteenth-twentieth century, with the rise of the middle class, advertising, and bohemian artists... (when Lord Henry Wotton sipped his cuppa in Kensington and a deranged Nietzsche raged against the establishment from Lützen). But the BOOM after the World Wars and the repressing dictatorships that came with them would be FAR MORE SIGNIFICANT.
For a while, dictatorial regimes and world wars held back this mindset, advocating for authority, against self-expression and indulgence, and smiting those who defended those values with fire and sword, yet the end of the war and of most dictators saw the REVOLUTION with capital letters break out. Adolescents were seen as more than just in a liminal state between childhood and mature adulthood. The survivors of the war had, like after so many natural and artificial disasters, spawned like rabbits. Consumerism became an ideology. Psychology was developing at lightning speed, and the locus of emotions was set in stone as not the heart, but the limbic system. In Prague, in Paris, in California, in Sweden, young people roared against the governments, and those belonging to outgroups fought fiercely for their rights. (Humans landed on the Earth's Moon as well, but who cares in this case?) The pill. Bikinis. LOVE, NOT WAR (a sentence I wrote yesterday in purple capital letters, with a heart for the O in LOVE and a peace symbol for the O in NOT, on a painting Amnesty was doing with students at my university). Drugs, drugs, and more drugs. And a crusade to erase all the negative emotions. The 1960s-70s LOVE REVOLUTION had given a dying God the coup de grâce. And all the young people of today are the fruit of said REVOLUTION. Including the mistress of this blog and writer of this essay.

Back from our days to the pomp and glory of the Augustan era: One of my top five works of English literature, together with Othello, Don Juan (by Lord Byron), Gustavus Adolphus (by Swinborne), and The Cattle Raid of Cooley, is Alexander Pope's Rape of the Lock, a mock epic and an affectionate look at tempests in teacups. The characters are nobles at the royal court of Queen Anne, all of them young, good-looking, intelligent, hormonal, and, having got their primary needs satisfied and living in a free country, interested mostly in having fun. Thus, the things they like and they wish for are serious business to them.
The poem follows a day in the life of court lady Belinda, part of the cream of Augustan society: like all of her friends and foes and the others of her rank, she is an evening person who sleeps snuggled up with drawn curtains in her canopy bed until 12 sharp, when her maid wakes her up (like I do myself on weekends: I must have been a seventeenth- or eighteenth-century court noble in a past life!), then spends most of the day dressing up until, in the afternoon, she sets sail on the Thames from her estate home to the royal palace to partake in the Queen's entertainments. Before that, she has been very careful with her hairstyle, the coif in vogue of those days: a bun gathered up with a pin that has been passed within her family, from mother to daughter, for generations (don't forget the hairpin!) and twin corkscrew ringlets on her temples, in perfect symmetry. During a game of cards at the palace, a young baron friendzoned by Belinda, under the influence of caffeine, snips off one of her perfectly symmetric corkscrew locks as retaliation. She reacts with living lightning flashing in her eyes, for, like to any other court lady, her appearance is serious business...
The cutting off of the lock turns the soirée of that evening into an epic battle between the ladies and the gentleman courtiers, who fight with quips, glares, and songs full of disses... except for the commanders of both armies: Belinda fights the baron mano a mano, throwing snuff up his nose and threatening to kill him with her precious hairpin (now revealed to be her dynasty's ancestral weapon, like Ice is to the Starks!), demanding him to restore her lock of hair... but it is lost, having gone missing in the battle, and not found no matter how much all of them, now in peace with one another, search throughout the ballroom... In the end, it is revealed that the lock has become a star, a new star in the night sky. Something that no one who fought in the "battle of the lock" realizes.
Such an unexpected twist ending (compare the one of The Cattle Raid of Cooley) makes us question if it was really worth it to start a war for the sake of a lock of hair.
    What mighty contests rise from trivial things,
    I sing—This verse to CARYL, Muse! is due: 
    This, ev'n Belinda may vouchsafe to view.
Yes, but what are trivial things? Why do we always make the things we wish for into serious business? For the sake of symbolism: this film, this fic, this series, or this book contains a character I identify with; this garment or this toy is a bright colour or feels soft, which I like; the lyrics or the tune, or both, of this song awaken emotions within me; a four-leaf clover or a red white-spotted shroom will bring me good luck, and so will a coin from 1992, my year of birth... What we like, whether it be within or beyond our reach, is thought of in abstract terms and emotionally, affectively loaded and liked not for itself, but because it refers to something else positive: it has a representational value. This is not only an issue of mine, but a common problem to most of us Eurasians... Westerners... especially in this society of information and consumerism. 
And where did the spirit of Christmas go?
Secularization has taken the Christ out of Christmas and turned it into Feastmas or Giftmas, its original form, derived from the Christianization of festivals from the Age of Empires like the Saturnalia, when figurines called Sigillaria, used as toys and as ornaments, were often exchanged. When I was a child, there was a spirit of Christmas. Now that I have come of age and become disenchanted, but also always yearning and wishing for more, there's the spirit of Giftmas instead. 
Remember my tirade on representational value? 
Why do we always make the things we wish for into serious business? For the sake of symbolism: this film, this fic, this series, or this book contains a character I identify with; this garment or this toy is a bright colour or feels soft, which I like; the lyrics or the tune, or both, of this song awaken emotions within me; a four-leaf clover or a red white-spotted shroom will bring me good luck, and so will a coin from 1992, my year of birth... What we like, whether it be within or beyond our reach, is thought of in abstract terms and emotionally, affectively loaded and liked not for itself, but because it refers to something else positive: it has a representational value.
My entitlement and this symbolic thinking cause my wishes for certain presents to become as relevant as Iago's lieutenancy or Belinda's lock of hair. Id est, serious business. A stripling without any field experience is made a lieutenant instead of you, or an annoying admirer takes a pair of scissors and ruins your perfectly symmetric coiffure, or you can't get all the presents you have written on your wish list because of a a few slights that can be bettered (like being late for class for all of November and scratching your palate at the psychiatrist's)? Disappointment ensues. Positive feelings are shattered, and all you want to do is sulk and drown your sorrows while you bleed within and rage at the world and at yourself. No matter if, as Andersen said in one of his lesser-known stories, when one gives up the world, and oneself too, it is all over with that person.

The Stoics, enemies of the Epicureans and a great influence on totalitarianisms, said there were four passions to be shunned, and I think the strongest, and my personal favourite, is desire. To me, it has got a power that neither joy, grief, nor fear possess. Desire is the expectation of a future good, the wish for a future good. It can move mountains, start wars, lead to a signature at Runnymede, or to a victory at Breitenfeld, make an unusually intelligent princess meet her intellectual equal and become his partner, but also make a resented non-com betray the young lieutenant who "usurped" his commission. Yes, desire packs the most potent punch of all four passions, and it is also the source of positive emotions... but of disappointment, regret, ennui, fear of the inner emptiness... as well.
But... can a person bereft of emotions and passions be truly virtuous, or an empty shell? The case of Virginia and her guardian, from a literary tale by Josep Feliu i Codina (Belle Époque-era Spain) may illustrate the point: he made his ward, the orphaned only child of powerful nobles, emotionless, by replacing her seven-year-old heart with clockwork and keeping the heart in a jar. The reason why he has taken away her emotions: he wants to marry her to get a hold on her family fortune, and, when she reaches the age of consent, her guardian will be older than seventy. Virginia has grown up emotionless, indifferent to everything, into a beautiful yet callous and completely rational ice queen... until, thanks to some fairy magic, she is given a real heart during her adolescence, and she begins to see the beauty and the inspiration in the world around her: never were the flowers in her garden so colourful and so fragrant to her, never was the young man she met at the ball so dashing and so interesting... When her guardian finds out, he locks her away in a tower. And the now seventyish villain visits her and proposes to her every day, but she always rejects his advances. In the end, thinking that she rejected him because of his advanced age, the septuagenarian makes an unconscious wish for a younger heart... and realizes that he's already got one: his ward's child heart in a jar. So, obviously, our villain has his own heart replaced with Virginia's... and, suddenly, he transforms from a serious and realistic killjoy driven by ambition and greed... into a lovable eccentric with a lively and cheerful, quirky personality, who never denies himself any whim and completely lacks self-control. A seven-year-old heart has been transplanted into his seventyish chest, after all. No wonder that, after the literal change of heart, he sets Virginia free and lets her go with her suitor, giving them his blessing, when the young man promises his far older opponent a musical box for a present. Upstairs storms the guardian, with elation, as he opens the locked door and tells his ward, in a high-pitched voice, that she's free, adding: "I'll get a musical box!"

Drugs provide escapist solutions that in the end lead to nowhere. Having binge eaten ice cream and binge drunk beer and liquor to drown my sorrows, I do know what it's like, but the shadow of addiction looms over me, eager to rein me in, whispering flatteries. We may, like Henry in The Golden Legend (or Cassio in Othello) hoist the white flag in response to the initial euphoria of intoxication, our will playing the part of Tywin Lannister during the defense of King's Landing. We should first let Henry speak of how he felt when "cured" of his constant ennui by the eau-de-vie he purchased from a quack, who was actually the Evil One in civilian attire:

  Lucifer (showing a flask).  Behold it here! this little flask
Contains the wonderful quintessence,
The perfect flower and efflorescence...

Hold it up thus against the light!

Prince Henry.  How limpid, pure, and crystalline,
How quick, and tremulous, and bright
The little wavelets dance and shine,
As were it the Water of Life in sooth!

  Lucifer. It is! It assuages every pain,
Cures all disease, and gives again
To age the swift delights of youth.
Inhale its fragrance.

  Prince Henry. It is sweet.
A thousand different odors meet
And mingle in its rare perfume,
Such as the winds of summer waft
At open windows through a room!

  Lucifer.  Will you not taste it?
  Prince Henry. Will one draught suffice?
  Lucifer. If not, you can drink more.
  Prince Henry.  Into this crystal goblet pour
So much as safely I may drink.

  Lucifer (pouring). Let not the quantity alarm you:
You may drink all; it will not harm you.

  Prince Henry.  I am as one who on the brink
Of a dark river stands and sees
The waters flow, the landscape dim
Around him waver, wheel, and swim,
And, ere he plunges, stops to think
Into what whirlpools he may sink;
One moment pauses, and no more,
Then madly plunges from the shore!
Headlong into the dark mysteries
Of life and death I boldly leap,
Nor fear the fateful current's sweep,
Nor what in ambush lurks below!
For death is better than disease!


  Lucifer (disappearing). Drink! drink!
And thy soul shall sink
Down into the dark abyss,
Into the infinite abyss,
From which no plummet nor rope
Ever drew up the silver sand of hope!

  Prince Henry (drinking). It is like a draught of fire!
Through every vein
I feel again
The fever of youth, the soft desire;
A rapture that is almost pain
Throbs in my heart and fills my brain!
O joy! O joy! I feel
The band of steel
That so long and heavily has pressed
Upon my breast
Uplifted, and the malediction
Of my affliction
Is taken from me, and my weary breast
At length finds rest.


Speak! speak!
Who says that I am ill?
I am not ill! I am not weak!
The trance, the swoon, the dream, is o'er!
I feel the chill of death no more!
At length,
I stand renewed in all my strength!
Beneath me I can feel
The great earth stagger and reel,
As it the feet of a descending god
Upon its surface trod,
And like a pebble it rolled beneath his heel!
This, O brave physician! this
Is thy great palingenesis!


  Prince Henry (sinking back).  O thou voice within my breast!
Why entreat me, why upbraid me,
When the steadfast tongues of truth
And the flattering hopes of youth
Have all deceived me and betrayed me?
Give me, give me rest, O, rest!
Golden visions wave and hover,
Golden vapors, waters streaming,
Landscapes moving, changing, gleaming!
I am like a happy lover
Who illumines life with dreaming!


(His head falls on his book.)

But in the end, Henry was completely broken, physically and psychologically, by ethyl addiction. As his retainers say:

Until one morning we found him there
Stretched on the floor, as if in a swoon
He had fallen from his chair.
We hardly recognized his sweet looks!


In the same Andersen story from which I quoted earlier, The Philosopher's Stone, four brothers and a sister go forth one by one in pursuit of the precious titular gem, the party dwindling one by one until only the sister remains, finds the Stone, and recovers her missing brothers, who had all of them disappeared because when one gives up the world, and oneself too, it is all over with that person. Only the sister has not given up on her quest: on one hand, the two older brothers have given in to despair, while, on the other hand, the two younger ones have given in to euphoria. The third brother is the one I identify with: a poet blessed with the gifts of seeing beauty and goodness and of putting them and the feelings they cause into verse. Ostensibly, since he is the one whose verses become internationally popular, spreading the seeds of goodness in the hearts of humankind, the young poet is the one closest to reaching the Philosopher's Stone. But, indeed, an evil spirit wants the Stone for himself and comes up with the best plan to foil this creative youth's attempt:
But the evil spirit was angry at this, and he could not tolerate it, so he set to work with royal incense and church incense and all kinds of the strongest incense, which he knows how to distill; the strongest kinds of incense, which suffocate all the others, and which he can mix so artfully as to make an angel feel lightheaded, and how much more easily a poor poet. The evil one knows well how to manage such people. He so completely surrounded the poet with incense that the young man lost his head, forgot his mission and his home, and at last even lost himself and vanished in smoke.
While his older brothers had given in to despair, the poet, like his younger brother afterwards, loses himself in pleasant experiences, which in his case are due to intoxication, drug-induced.
Andersen wrote this in the nineteenth century, when more escapist drugs than just ethylic drinks had become available to the middle class. 
In the end, the happy ending of this story, just like his three brothers, the poet will be delivered by his pure-hearted and determined sister, who never wavered or strayed from her call, not giving in to despair or to escapist euphoria. And the message delivered by the Philosopher's Stone turns out to be the powerful seven-letter word BELIEVE. And the Bard of Odense closes the tale by delivering the moral, a powerful reminder of the power of self-confidence: from the word BELIEVE arose the bridge of Hope, reaching even to the unmeasurable Love in the realms of the infinite.

But, indeed, not all of us are so steadfast, and even the most steadfast of us have faltered and fallen. A. E. Housman, for example. The poet who wrote the verses about one, who like Oberyn, made himself immune to poisonous substances by absorbing them little by little, so his enemies shook to see him drink it all up when they had poured strychnine into his cup (and iocaine, and even ethanol, wind up as being tolerated by the system and losing their effects at the same dose)... had told before how it was to go to the local fair on a holiday and return home wasted, reeling, collapsing in a ditch, and then having to cope with the wrath of hops:

Oh, I have been to Ludlow Fair
and left my necktie who knows where,
and carried half way home, or near,
pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
and I myself a sterling lad;
and down in lovely muck I've lain,
happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie!
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet,
and nothing now remained to do
but to begin the game anew. 


And I have had myself the same experience described by Housman, which I had this summer in northern Germany... Let me tell you in verse:

I've been to Stralsund this July,
and fretted 'cause I don't know why,
and carried half-way, far, or near
more than a seidel Stralsund beer,
and, to feel pleased, of vodka a glass,
thus, then I seemed a sterling lass,
and, back on board, uneasy I've lain,
ill at ease till I woke again.
Then I threw up, I do not lie...
Haha, the tale was all a lie!
The world was the same old world yet,
I was myself, my clothes were wet,
and nought at all remained to do
but to begin the game anew.

To wrap it up, let's reflect on the Tale of the Three Brothers, compiled by Beedle the Bard via J.K. Rowling. As you may know, Death grants each of the titular brothers a wish. One chooses invincibility, another chooses resurrection of a loved one, while the third one, who had been ruminating his wish the most, opts for something that will let him escape Death: the Reaper gives him his own invisible cloak. While the two more impulsive brothers, who made irrational wishes thinking only of the short-term effects, died untimely and violent deaths, the third one lived to a ripe old age. Many few people make such sensible wishes: desire is a passion, and thus, usually beyond the limits of reason. Most of us make irrational wishes on impulse and thinking only of instant gratification, as seen in Othello and The Rape of the Lock, the Westeros 'verse and Doki!Doki Precure, Zenki, Shugo Chara Doki!, and the tales compiled by Beedle the Bard, the Tale of the Three Brothers being the clearest and most extreme example.


miércoles, 26 de agosto de 2015

HERE COMES THE BRIDE - BARATHEON SAGA SNIPPET

This snippet is the climax of the Baratheon Saga.
I will add it at the climactic finale of the Saga, but for now it's something I wanted to write in advance...

So this is the premise for the climax:
In the previous chapter:

XVI. In which we meet both Sandra Stark and the Tyrells again, Laurent is completely broken, Lorraine changes regime a couple of times, the Great War comes finally to an end, it is the twilight of the German Empire, a bride is prepared for the Baratheon scion, and said bride is informed of Gottfried's true colours. And which also concerns a locket and a seed.

Sandra Stark and Laurent Tyrell were both injured with chlorine during the Great War and convalescent at Hautjardin, the Tyrell estate in Lorraine, which becomes French at the end of the war. During their recovery, both of them became friends. At the end of the war, during the interbellum period, military defeat has plunged the von Lännister clan into decadence. Sandra, who bobs her hair and lives at Hautjardin after the war, has told the Tyrells about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her former fiancé, Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister.
In the meantime, the von Lännisters are obliged to support the National Socialist Party and to arrange now marriageable Gottfried's betrothal to a suitable heiress. Tyrell matriarch Hélène seizes the chance and agrees with Count Theibald von Lännister to marry her granddaughter to his grandson. As a condition, the von Lännister patriarch agrees that Laurent also be betrothed to his daughter and now heir (since Jakob was left for dead on the battlefield) Elisabeth a week after Gottfried's and Margot's wedding. Thus it is agreed.
As the wedding is planned, the Tyrells and Sandra Stark plot at Hautjardin. Margot, shocked by the fact that she is to be a sociopath's bride, will remarry in the gown she sewed herself for her first wedding, a little tweaked to be more modern but nevertheless not outrageous, and also wear a pompadour like before the war. Sandra is to be Margot's maid-of-honour and bridesmaid, and wear the silver locket Rainer gave Margot at the wedding. This locket is to play a lead role in the intrigue. Soon, Hélène instructs Sandra to grind a strange little flat round seed, of a pale café au lait colour, the size of a 10-Pfennig coin, into a fine powder, which, after the lock of Rainer's dark hair is moved to the half of the locket with the daguerreotype, is put into the empty lock half of the locket.
Strychnine seeds, it is explained. Used to poison vermin, but also to raise the energy of the elderly, and as a love potion. Soon the plot is gradually taking place as the bridal gown is tweaked, the gifts gathered, the trunks packed for the journey to Potsdam, where the wedding will take place.
As their contribution to the wedding feast, the Tyrells will bring fruit for the wedding cake and a flâcon of exceedingly strong Tyrell-distilled eau-de-vie, which was at least distilled in the days of the Franco-Prussian War. The strong liquor, served at the end of the wedding feast about one or two hours after dessert to hit the bloodstream earlier, will conceal the sharp bitterness of the strychnine that the draught will be laced with. (The elder and the younger Madame Tyrell agree that a hypodermic directly into the bloodstream would make the bridegroom feel pain, a laced drink being more classical and unexpected, unwittingly inserted suffering and death into a person unaware until it is far too late.) The symptoms would be taken for those of tetanus, and the von Lännisters would never accept a post-mortem to desecrate the form of their heir.
The chapter ends and segues into the next by means of the train journey from Sierck to Potsdam, where the Tyrells and Fräulein Stark spend the wedding week at an estate provided by the von Lännister clan for the wedding.
This chapter excerpt begins with the wedding in Potsdam Cathedral and ends with the end of the feast and its aftermath.


XVII. In which a new regime rises to power, the Only Party saves the Konzern from certain doom, the bride of Gottfried arrives at Lichterfelde with her entourage, some old friends pop up at the wedding, and a tottering mansion of cards finally crumbles. (Excerpts.)

And the impressive pipe organ of the church sounded the Wedding March from the opera Lohengrin, the one the bridegroom and his siblings had been given names from, played as the lovely bride, in the company of her sire and maid, crossed the threshold and walked up the aisle to the altar.
"Here comes the bride..." Sandra thought to the tune of the march, looking at Marguerite Tyrell, far lovelier in lily white than in the black gown she had worn before.
Dressed in a pitch black uniform, which made the fairness of his skin, golden hair, and green eyes stand out, with the three stars of a freshly-baked lieutenant who has ceased to be a cadet ahead of time, the stalwart bridegroom cast a piercing glace at the bridesmaid who carried the end of the bride's strangely mermaid-tail-shaped lilywhite skirt. The redhead looked down, after she had darted a single glance at her best friend and the one she was due to marry. Both the Lorrainian heiress and the Schutzstaffel lieutenant had twinkles in their young eyes and smiled confidently. And Sandra Stark, who had ceased to be a maiden ever since she had been betrothed, thought as she looked at the bride and groom of what they knew and what they thought. Gottfried was sure (she thought) that this was the greatest day in his short life, his own Breitenfeld or Leuthen or Austerlitz, but little did he know that it would be the last one. That he was to pick a rose, but had not yet seen the piercing thorns that lay in wait beneath the soft petals. Margot, on the other hand, had played the part of rose "without a thorn" as well as any Shakespearean actress, reminding Sandra of both Lady Macbeth and Iago. The kiss before the altar would be like that of Judas Iscariot, only that the victim would not know what lay beneath the soft touching of lips.
Now Fräulein Tyrell had been conveyed to the altar. Her fire-haired maid skimmed the front row and beheld many a familiar face. Sandra's gaze turned first towards the pews to the right. There, a septuagenarian in uniform, surely a military officer of a rather high rank, sitting next to a middle-aged lady as chock-full of make-up as an eighteenth-century coquette, with bobbed hair and wearing the widow's black. Both of them shared the bridegroom's bright green eyes, the lady's hair was golden, and the high officer's few silvery wisps had once been the same colour. Count Theibald remained as stern as ever, while Countess Elisabeth dried up a few tears as she clenched her lace handkerchief. Next to her sat the two newcomers at the Baratheon-von Lännister mansion. The countess's twin brother, dressed in uniform as well, looked now much more different from her, with a steel hook for a right hand and sunken in deep thought (something unusual for him, but Jakob's brooding could, like Laurent's, be explained by the hell of war), and a strange girl whom Sandra thought she had seen at the front: straw-blond and tall, riddled with freckles, dressed in a modest blue flapper gown and sitting next to the hook-handed one. Elschen and Telchen were of course there as well, in an Alice pinafore and a sailor suit respectively, looking full of excitement at their older brother and his lovely bride.
On the Tyrell side, the sinister side of the nave, the father of the bride had resumed his post by his lady wife, who adjusted her gold-rimmed spectacles slightly. Laurent, the only Tyrell brother present at the event, looked awkward in civilian attire, and he looked every now and then at Sissi and then at Margot and then down to the floor. He was the best man, and thus, stood by his prospective brother-in-law's side while smiling what only the Tyrells and the redhead knew to be a fake smile. A very familiar octogenarian lady, also dressed in black, was sitting with the others of her kin across the aisle from the von Lännisters.
The Queen of Thorns was looking at everyone of importance in the room, her strategist mind as occupied as that of a general in the heat of battle. Even if there happened to be a general in the nave, for there was one, besting the elder Count von Lännister was certainly, for Hélène Tyrell, just like defeating a child at a game of chess.
There, before the completely gilt, blazing altar decked with the Apostles and Jesus soaring above them, stood a golden-haired young man in black and a nutbrown maiden in white, exchanging words with the von Lännister clan's personal chaplain and bending their heads to receive his blessing.
The pair said their vows, and the nave erupted into overwhelming applause.
"I do," Lieutenant Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister confidently said, and his green eyes sparkled with wistful wickedness, those eyes said that he would pick that rose and pluck its petals, and then, once he had grown weary, crush it beneath his black-booted right foot. "I eat flowers, I burn with
dreams, I have a tower without a door in my heart and I will keep you there..."
"I do," Fräulein Margarethe Tyrell, née Mademoiselle Marguerite Tyrell, said in an equally lively tone, and her golden eyes sparkled with righteous intrigue, coupled with the elation of having her target already locked and soon fallen into the Tyrell conspiracy, yet completely unaware of it.
Then, after receiving the priest's blessing, the bride and groom obviously kissed. And, as he clasped her slender, lilywhite waist in his strong arms, she clasped his strong shoulders, her delicate hands concealed by satin opera gloves, and kissed him as well, touching the parted lips through which soon death would enter his young system, that gateway to the realm that was the young heir, shaded by a soft, wispy streak of golden peach-fuzz on his upper lip... then she thrust her tongue in, a little wistfully, through Gottfried's parted lips and through the twin rows of sterling white incisors that rose beyond, sharp as bayonets, then a little deeper in, probing the first steps of the route that the tainted draught would take ere it plunged down into the darker, throbbing recesses of the lieutenant's system. He saw this as just another sign of his bride's love, that she was willing to become one with him, that she, homeschooled and shining with wit, was bold enough to lead him in the game of love. Which was the way Margot had intended that he would interpret it. That kiss was like the most infamous one in world history, the one stolen by Judas Iscariot, only that the victims of this scheme knew of no treason.
That day, the sound of the cheering crowd on the pews drowned out everyone's worries.
To the von Lännisters and to Brünnhilde von Tarth, the bride and groom were kissing.
To the Tyrells, Margot was fulfilling her part of the plan.
To Sandra Stark, who nervously fingered her locket, she could not wait in bringing the plan into action, letting the strychnine powder quickly fall into the liquor cup that evening. She had been training sleight of hand throughout her sojourn at the Tyrells' and even more on the eve of the wedding, after all.
To Laurent Tyrell, his sister was very brave to risk it all in such a game of pitch-and-toss. And so far, she had the unwitting young officer in her pocket. Soon she would be a merry widow, at odds with the von Lännisters yet still able to best them.
To Hélène Tyrell, the cleverness of her granddaughter, a trait inherited on both sides of her family, added to her charms and wistful, pixie-like demeanor, had ensured that the Tyrells held the upper hand and the higher ground in this military campaign. Those who had been abused would have their revenge, and who would say that the dashing scion with a heart of frozen steel would meet his downfall, his Waterloo, thanks to a tiny seed and a maiden both lovely and intelligent? That the decadence of the von Lännister clan would come from such unexpected sources?
The kiss eventually came to an end, and those were the thoughts of everyone involved.
[...] (The bridal procession leaves the church and enters the von Lännister mansion.)
Of course the bride was in the very best of spirits, and so was the bridegroom, feeling that all eyes were upon them, shaking hands and smiling left and right as, hand in hand, they sailed confidently down the path to take their place at the head of the table, where the guests were already assembled.
(The wedding feast is consumed, finishing with a toast to the bride and groom drunk in champagne on ice.)
The sun was still lower over the ostentatious Potsdam horizon, gilding it with a warm summer glow. Now the afternoon was at an end, and the evening had taken its place.
Confidently taking up her place in the heart of the arbour, like a primadonna upon the stage of La Scala, the dark-haired bride cleared her throat:
"I would like to sing a ballad by Schubert, with lyrics by Goethe. Would anyone here care to listen to 'Heathland Rose'?"
There was no objection to the bride's performance of said lied. Rather, there were encouragements. As she fingered her locket, the maid-of-honour leaned against a linden trunk. Supper had already been served, and so had the cake, and a toast had been drunk to the newlyweds in champagne on ice, which had already gone to her head.
Leaning against the same linden on the other side, Brünnhilde von Tarth, also light-headed from having drunk the same, had not seen that the one she sought was closer than she could imagine.
[...] (The thoughts of Jakob, Laurent, Theibald and Hélène are discussed.)
Yet, in no time, the voices in all of their heads were hushed at unison by the song of the bride, a soprano voice tinkling as a rill, with a slightly mournful tune:

Saw a lad a rose in bloom, 
blooming on the heathland, 
young and fair, just like the morn.
He ran closer, seeing no thorn,
and beheld it, pleased lad.
Little scarlet heathland rose,
little wild and red rose!

Quoth the lad: "I'll now pick thee,
little wild and red rose!"
Quoth the rose: "I'll pierce your skin,
you'll remember, thus, your sin,
I will not regret woes!"
Little scarlet heathland rose,
little wild and red rose!

And the wild lad fiercely picked
little wild and red rose!
Red rose did herself defend,
young lad cried, to no good end,
in her, no regret rose!
Little scarlet heathland rose,
little wild and red rose!

No one but those involved in the plot knew that, during that evening, the events of the song would become true in a certain way. That it was an omen, a foreshadowing, the writing on the wall.
The performance of "Heathland Rose" was given much acclaim, for the singer, as commented by Count Theibald to his younger associates within the Party, was not only in possession of golden vocal cords, but also remembered the lyrics of the three-stanza song by heart. How much she shone with wit! And how fortunate the septuagenarian was in his choice of a granddaughter-in-law, one who was not a scentless flower only of pleasant appearance and wealthy descent, but also as bright as the sun and Venus added up together when it came to her inner charms!
[...] (Sissi feels even more jealous of Margot. Comparison to the Wicked Queen and Snow White)
Then, as planned by the Tyrells, their lackey brought the brandy flacon and the fine Bohemian glasses, giving Sandra a gesture to come near the lackey in the shade of the lilac bush. The maid-of-honour, with the excuse that she had to relieve herself, sauntered to the cupbearer's side. The time had finally come. The show of her lifetime was about to begin. And, after the whole tiresome wedding service (well, tiresome except for the kiss in the end) fingering her locket, she was now in the shade of the lilacs in bloom, unseen by everyone else, quickly opening the little silver and glass pendant, then looking at the equally silver tray on which the costly Bohemian cups stood. One of them was different from all the others: slightly larger and decorated like the calyx of a lily, while all of the other glasses had a pattern of ripples or waves.
"Is this one for the bridegroom?" Fräulein Stark whispered to the waiter, as she pointed at the calyx-chalice. It could only have been that way. In response, he nodded and smiled. The red-haired maid-of-honour, casting a lightning glance at the Schutzstaffel officer, suffered from no stage fright at all. All of that sleight-of-hand training would finally pay off once the trick had been successfully performed. Then, all that was to do was watching the other actors perform the next scene, the climax, and commence the countdown to the final scene. The von Lännisters would be caught unaware. They would never know what had actually happened that afternoon. Following Wenzel von Lännister to the table in the rose-arbour, she looked at Gottfried slightly nomming on Margot and vice versa, wistfully playing with one another. And she saw the twinkles in his green eyes and read them, as she read the twinkles in the bride's golden eyes. The former spoke of lust and wickedness, the latter shone with wit and intrigue. And Margot winked at her best friend for a single second.
"At the eleventh hour!" the young officer coldly and impatiently said, as he loosened his grip on his bride and wiped the perspiration from his brow. Now that he had been given a military education, he sounded more imperious than before. "We were dying of thirst already!" (What he really was thinking was "I was dying of thirst already! That Lorrainian brandy must taste good, or else... If the taste doesn't please me, I'll give it to Sandra Stark, right in the face!" How unaware Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister was!) Even though the sun's rays were dying down at twilight, the lively conversation he had carried out with his newlywed wife was already parching his throat, and he felt as if having a sprig of prickly thorns in there, clinging in such a way that he could neither get those thorns down nor bring them up. Furthermore, he had been perspiring for hours under that heavy black uniform. Long story short, his system was asking for a quick refill.
Alas! Little did he know that only one drink, drained at a single draught, would be enough to quench all the thirst of a short life kindled by youthful hot blood; and that such ice-cold, lifeless respite would not come without a prelude of the most intense sufferings, whose likeness he had never felt before!
The fire-haired maid-of-honour had already taken her stance. These were the cues for playing her part on stage. The locket had been already taken off, its glass lid on the strychnine side slightly opened, and the locket hidden in her left opera glove. Repeating the trick dozens of times had changed her from right-handed to ambidextrous, at least only for doing the trick. Now all of that training would pay off. The most tragic decade of her life was finally coming to an end. And to an unexpected one for those who had vexed her, of which she was completely in control.
Then, Wenzel laid the silver tray on the table. Sandra came closer.
Then, Wenzel poured the golden liquid into the costly glass cups, filling the bridegroom's first, then filling the others. As he poured brandy for the other ones at the table, Sandra Stark, seizing the lily-cup with her right hand, let her left one, the locket chain clenched with a bracelet under the glove, slip the fatal seed-powder into its ethylic contents. No one saw it: they were all too taken with their own thoughts or feelings to pay heed to something as mundane as a cupbearer serving liquor.
Then, as Wenzel handed out their drinks to a septuagenarian count and an octogenarian dowager, to the parents of the bride and the mother of the bridegroom, to the one with the hook hand and the tall freckled one, and to the slender one with a wit as sharp as his goatee, to the bride's older brother (who had been the best man), long story short to everyone under the rose-arbour, the redhead stepped forth and advanced towards the bridegroom, holding his calyx-chalice in her right hand. This was the moment of truth. Now her part had been played. And now his part would be played.
The lieutenant's black-gloved right hand quickly snatched the laced cup from Sandra's grasp. She didn't take her eyes off him, the setting sun caught in his golden hair, the sparkles of elation in his piercing green eyes. That stance of pride and confidence in the prime of life would not last more than half an hour at least.
Raising his cup to the sky ere his lips would touch it, Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister praised his bride and confidently said that he was to drink to her health. Margot raised her cup as well, clinking it lower than his, looking at his whole frame, from the peach-fuzz on his upper lip all the way to the belt of his tight black Schutzstaffel trenchcoat, under which, inside his midriff, was the next destination of the laced draught.
Fräulein Stark looked on. There he was, her executioner, her scourge, on top of the world and without wishing for anything. Still as courteous as he was wicked, sure that he had found another flower to pluck and tread on, not having seen the poisonous thorns that lay beneath. The thorns whose lethal infusion would enter his system without any pain or any other discomfort in advance, unknowingly to his consciousness. There he was, throwing back his head and lowering the cup again, his fine lips parting slightly as they kissed the rim of costly Bohemian glass. Then he tilted his wrist ever so slightly, and the level in the cup began to quickly sink, as the laced brandy stole through the young officer's parted lips. The conspirators heard a quick succession of short gulps as the bulge on his throat rose and fell at an equally fast pace. In the end, after those two or three decisive seconds, there was not even a drop of liquor left in the glass, which had been emptied to the very dregs. The poison was inside the victim, and all that was left was watching closely, waiting for its dramatic effect. And the young lieutenant was softly drying up his lips as he rubbed his own midsection, after laying the cup he had drained on the table. Was he aware of the fact that, upon receiving that draught in his throat, upon emptying that lily-glass, he had invited his own death to take him away? Obviously not at all. Then, what was he feeling as he downed the laced draught?
"A finely-scented liquor," Gottfried thought as his lips parted around the costly glass cup. Surely a sign that it would taste as good or better, he thought as he subsequently tilted his right wrist. As the first drops of tainted brandy trickled into his mouth and kissed his tongue, the unusual sharpness and bitterness of the draught surprised him. At heart he revolted and would rather wince, but, given the circumstances, the young officer thought that this was surely the taste of Lorrainian brandy, different from French or Prussian, and that he had to make this draught go down to appear courteous to his bride and both their families, and to all of Potsdam society gathered on such a sacred day. And, besides, he was really thirsty... That tilted the scales in favour of swallowing the fatal cupful as well. Thus, within a split second, steeling himself and putting on a brave face, the lieutenant tilted his wrist once more, his head leaning backwards, and, as quickly as he could, let the rest of his drink in. The tainted liquor, after sprinkling the golden peach-fuzz on his upper lip and lashing like a wave at his sterling white incisors, surged into the glistening red cavern which was the entrance hall to his life-throbbing system, surging in until, once the draught had reached the rear end of Gottfried's tongue and the section where the cavern narrowed, the young lieutenant swallowed instantly, within a second, as if by reflex. As the liquid fire washed and seared this point of no return, the muscles on its glistening walls gave a powerful contraction, and then, forced down, the surge of liquor lashed against the lieutenant's uvula, which hung like a glistening scarlet standard at the brink of the deep, dark, warm chasm that was his waiting gullet, before the ethylic cascade plunged, descending at a lightning speed, into the depths of the young officer's throat, into the darkness within his vitals.
The last thing he had done to the draught on his own free will was swallowing it, unaware of the unseen enemy that he had unwittingly let in, welcoming the lethal seed-powder dissolved into the brandy to enter his young, healthy system. After Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister had emptied the precious glass and swallowed the laced liquor, the involuntary functions that kept him alive while rarely being noticed began to take over its destiny on its journey through his system, once it had already got in.
The Lorrainian brandy was then searing his throat, and the Schutzstaffel officer felt its agreeable warmth spread from the back of his mouth, down his gullet and into his chest, behind his sternum, behind his throbbing heart, deeper in, through his diaphragm, and then stopped at the height of his solar plexus, where his ribcage ended, producing a warmer and more intense glow, the sensation of having swallowed a draught of liquid fire, inside his midsection, right under his shiny belt buckle. At the same time, Gottfried felt more clear-headed and light-hearted, pleased with the draught once it had gone down at last, relishing the inner warmth it had offered, but still stark unaware that his death was closing in on the sources of his life.
Let us now, while the guests at the table enjoy conversation about the future of the Reich and of its resurrection after the war, close in on the bridegroom and enter his system. The events taking place inside his abdomen, within his dark vitals, are now of far more interest than those taking place around him, isn't it right?
We left our lethal, laced draught surging like a cataract down the dark and endless chasm that was Lieutenant Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister's smooth gullet, down his throat and through his chest, then beyond his diaphragm. Now the brandy had poured into his stomach, a far vaster cavern
distended and churning with vigorous contractions to change the whole wedding feast into a lake of some cream or gruel, from which the substances his system needed could be absorbed. The hors d'oeuvres, the roasts, the Rhineland and Lorrainian wines, the delicious wedding cake washed down with champagne on ice: throughout those two hours, nearly everything in his share of the feast had been dissolved by powerful, strong acids, churned and sloshed into a cream whose ingredients, with the exception of the skins and seeds of the berries in the cake, could not be distinguished from each other. This creamy gruel was then diluted even more with the draught of strychnine-laced liquor, whose ethyl content stimulated the further secretion of acidic juices. For another ten minutes or a quarter of an hour, the mixture of healthy and lethal substances sloshed and tossed within those distended scarlet walls, where the seed powder was dissolved and the strychnine within was released... until, at another involuntary command, it descended even deeper, whirling in circles like a maelstrom, gradually surging into the winding tunnel that was the lieutenant's duodenum, where, at the confluences with thinner ducts, alkaline juices were poured in to neutralize the acids in what had once been his share of his own wedding feast, now mixed with substances that endangered his short life. Substances that closed in more and more for every five minutes they spent within him, for every five minutes that they plunged deeper into his vitals, and that soon would be far closer to their goal.
The tainted cream had now passed on into the young officer's jejunum, beneath the lower half of his black trenchcoat. In this long and winding passageway, whose rose-coloured walls were lined with countless little tendrils that waved in the stream like anemones, these tendrils, lined with blood vessels, took up, absorbing, what could be taken up from the creamy mixture into the bloodstream: wanted sugars, amino-acids, vitamins, and minerals, but also a couple of rather different poisons that, once they had entered the lieutenant's blood, would seize the chance to wreak havoc on his young, healthy system. Here and in his ileum, the subsequent section, which was just like the jejunum but twice as long, the ethanol and the strychnine gradually passed into the Schutzstaffel officer's veins. And, once absorbed, they closed even more on the sources of his life.
These two poisons act upon the system in rather different ways, like two different strategists would act during the same campaign: Ethanol is a weakening narcotic which, like Fabius or Wallenstein, takes on its victim little by little, during the course of years, closing in a little more on the liver, the brain, and the circulation for each quaffed draught. Strychnine, on the other hand, forces the motion of the system to be carried out in excess and strikes fast as lightning, going straight for its targets, the spinal cord and the nerves that there have their source, like Gustavus Adolphus would have done.
And now these two lethal substances were coursing through the veins of Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister, surging forth from one confluence of vessels to another among red blood cells and platelets. During the bloodstream's short tour through his liver, a certain amount of the lethal substances inside him was purified and led away, but there was still ethanol to spare, and more significantly, there was still strychnine to spare in his bloodstream, quickly swirling up through his diaphragm and into his throbbing heart, which at first fired the tainted blood into the delicate, fragile structures of his lungs and then, and most relevantly, to every blood vessel throughout his system. The strychnine now spread left and right, never more conveniently said, like poison in the bloodstream, like liquid fire, seeking synapses between neurons in which to interfere. Leaving the young officer's arteries within an instant, the powerful left ventricle of his heart having propelled the bloodstream with the last healthy throb, the lethal substance soon reached the endings of the nerves that had their source at his spinal cord.
From the moment when he had drunk the liquor about an hour before, Gottfried had been completely unaware of what would happen to his system. Now his whole face was given an unexpected twitch, which both surprised the scion and filled him with dread: his jaws were clenched as firmly as jaws could be against his will, and they could not part no matter how hard he tried, making it impossible for him to speak and to consume anything.
Everyone at the table grew pale, remarking on his sudden silence and on the sickening grin on his face. Elisabeth von Lännister reeled and felt lightheaded by seeing her eldest child in such a pitiable state. Now pale and in a cold sweat himself, the bridegroom drew his officer's sword from his scabbard, as, upon seeing his reflection on the blade, he was seized with even more fear: his lips had writhed, against his will as well, into a sickening, sinister Cheshire-cat grin, as impossible to undo as the closing of his mouth.
"I should have taken that lockjaw shot," was the first thought, with a tinge of regret, that flashed through his shocked mind. Years ago, that day at Lichterfelde, he had turned away the hypodermic syringe with the life-saving vaccine that every cadet would receive. "A von Lännister would never yield to lockjaw," he had then said as a cadet, as a boy. Now, as a lieutenant, a young man, a bridegroom, he realized that the scratch he had received when he had fallen to the ground had proven otherwise. He would die of (what he thought to be) tetanus, on his wedding day, right when he could not be happier. Was this fair? It would be to others, perchance. And only then, in the throes of death, did Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister cease to be selfish.
Right then, his whole system was given a jolt, as if an electric surge had been sent through him, and racked with excruciating pain. The dreadful cramps and the pain increased even more. Hélène led Theibald aside. Restless, the bridegroom had risen from his chair, feeling that he had to be restless and stand up against his will (as if he were suddenly placed on stage with strings attached). All of his muscles stiffened, even his heart itself, as if he were paralyzed, and seized with the same excruciating pain, as his whole skin was drenched in a cold sweat, that made his shirt stick to his chest and back, and his feet felt as if they were encased in ice up to the end of his ankles. A shrill ringing rung in his ears, and nausea made his entrails writhe like snakes deep inside. The young officer would gladly have shut his eyes, if his eyelids had not been forced open. He would gladly have uttered a scream of pain for help, if his jaws had not been forced shut. The only thing he could do was retch and strain, hoping to get the poison out of his system, but to no avail. Clutching the tablecloth with all his strength to stand upright, the bridegroom staggered a few steps (searching in vain for another support he could use to stand upright) ere he fell back, as if he had been struck by lightning, on the arbour floor.
"I am suffering—I cannot see. A thousand fiery darts are piercing my brain. Ah, don’t touch me, pray don’t.” By this time his haggard eyes had the appearance of being ready to start from their sockets; his head fell back, and the lower extremities of the body began to stiffen.
The ostentatious society wedding, which should have been a cheerful and grand occasion, had reached a climax worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy.
Sissi shut her eyes and buried her head in her hands, not to see the débâcle that was unfurling straight before her. Margot did not say anything. Hélène advised most of the distinguished guests, with the exceptions of her family and the bridegroom's as well as their associates, to leave the feast. The company was dwindled to those sitting at the rose arbour: the Tyrells, the von Lännisters, Sandra Stark and Brünnhilde von Tarth, and that clever upstart Bälisch. All of them were pale, and some of them were frightened by the dreadful events now unfurling before them.
As the bridegroom writhed and tossed more violently, now bent into a hard arch on the floor, as if he had been possessed by some evil spirit, his mother was finally roused from her state of dejection. Elisabeth wanted to hold her greatest treasure, two decades of well-guarded gold and emeralds, in her arms ere she lost it forever. There were tears in her eyes, and a name uttered in despair on her lips:
"Gottfried!! Gottfried!!!" She held her heir in her loving arms, shedding hot tears on his now feverish face, like a Pietà from the seventeenth century expressing, in all its angst and suffering, the despair of the Virgin Mary as a mother broken by the violent, painful death of her child.
"I must... die... I must... die... my throat... so tight... my heart... my head... kill me... leave me... leave-me-leave-me!" he shoved her aside after eagerly draining a glass of lemonade that Wenzel had handed over to them.
The aged Count of Lännister and the older Queen of Thorns, the dark-haired bride and the fire-haired maid-of-honour, the Tyrells and Kleinfinger, everyone watched the scene in silent awe and dread.
The Schutzstaffel lieutenant was tossing feverishly, writhing like a trampled snake, twitching and swallowing his pain, his brow ablaze and his ribcage tightening around his lungs, like a corset pulled the tightest a corset can get. Thus lay the hope of the von Lännisters, his painfully grinning lips and his fingertips turning a violet shade of purple, his jaws still locked and his eyes still wide open against his will, as a veil of mist began to cloud his thoughts. Lightheaded and confused, feeling more and more weary as he found it harder and harder to breathe, his very heart racked with pain as if a dagger had been plunged into it through his back, Gottfried had already given up even the thinnest ray of hope. All that pain everywhere and that malaise and that nausea had come fast as lightning, quite unexpectedly.
Now both Jakob and Theibald had sauntered forth as well, and so was Hélène, towards the dying Schutzstaffel lieutenant. Fräulein Mordäne had led Elsa and Telchen back into the nursery, reassuring them that their older brother would make it through.
Elisabeth "Sissi" von Lännister was at her wits' end. Her tears were washing the make-up on her eyes and cheeks away, changing her appearance to a likeness of the feelings that tore her apart. The unexpected debacle had pushed her beyond the brink of despair.
Her young hopeful was losing consciousness. One might by the fearful swelling of the veins of his forehead and the contraction of the muscles round the eyes, trace the terrible conflict which was going on between the living energetic mind and the inanimate and helpless body. His features convulsed, his eyes suffused with blood, and his head thrown back, he was lying at full length, beating the floor with his hands, while his legs had become so stiff, that they looked as if they would break rather than bend. A slight appearance of foam was visible around the mouth, and he breathed painfully, and with extreme difficulty.
For all this time, there had been struggle between life and death, a dramatic battle in which life had the health and youth of its holder as allies, but death had strychnine for a more powerful and redoubtable ally, and thus held the upper hand.
In the end, life was defeated, and the tortured young lieutenant, after one last painful twitch, fell back and ceased to move altogether.
The Schutzstaffel officer, his ribcage now completely constrained against his will, had entirely ceased to breathe. His green eyes were blood-shot and glossy with tears, still wide open, now protruded from their sockets like those of a frog, looking wild and staring at the one who loved him the most; his now purple lips were still writhed into the same ironic Cheshire-cat grin, his muscles were hard as iron or steel. For a while his clouded mind still kept itself active, though it grew more and more confused by the lack of oxygen.
"Can you speak?” the countess asked in a soothing tone, trying to steel herself in the middle of her anxiety. Gottfried muttered a few unintelligible words. “Try and make an effort to do so, my lad", she said, as he reopened his bloodshot eyes and she put her right hand to his heart and placed a glass of before his violet lips. His mouth forced now three-quarters shut, he couldn't drink the ether-laced water within, but still felt a new strange warmth upon receiving it.
"No... thanks... my throat... so... tight... I suffo...cate... my... heart... my... head... how... long... will... I... suffer?" Then, his lips were sealed by force for the last time. Right as Sissi tore the plume off her flapper's headband and pushed it down his throat, trying to tickle her young hopeful in there and make him throw up. In his painful throes and convulsions, as he strained and made vain efforts to throw up, the bridegroom's incisors bit into the feather, which was unable to pass any deeper. Right before shoving it in, she had bitten into the other end of the plume's quill and cut that end off, thinking she had found an impromptu way to fill his lungs with air, to prevent suffocation, but it was in vain, no matter for how long she huffed and puffed like a madwoman into the plume quill, nor that she had removed the uniform coat and belt of the writhing stripling. Sending for an emetic would be to no avail either. Neither would any solace that the healing arts could procure in that decade.
In a certain sense, but not the expected one, the strychnine was acting as a love potion.
For then, only at the close of his life, gradually intoxicated with lack of oxygen, the wicked scion at last learned the meaning of true love. The love of family and of those who could have been friends, awakened by his distress and suffering.
It was ironic that it should have been too late.
That his death-throes were what would make him understand how wonderful the power of love is.
That he would understand the value of a mother's tears, of concerned loving ones' sorrows, of the black coat that was being loosened around his chest and the belt that was being taken off his waist, as the poison and fever usurped the throne from which reason had finally fled.
Then, exhausted by lack of life-giving oxygen, his weary heart was still.
Elisabeth was devastated, weeping incessantly on the lifeless form. The make-up running down her face and her blood-shot, empty eyes told of the wreck of her greatest expectations. Theibald came even closer, and so did the hook-handed younger count. The seventyish nobleman laid a gloved hand on his daughter's shoulder. She coldly shook it off, embracing her young hopeful even closer to her. Her twin brother's right hook and his sinister hand, one cold and sharp, the other warm and soft, the despairing socialite slapped away as well. She was not in the mood for respite.
Gottfried had died a painful and untimely death, nipped in the bud when his whole life lay ahead, Elisabeth was completely brokenhearted, Jakob disowned and unwilling to have anything to do with the military, and though forgiven for his sins and invited to the wedding, he would soon leave the von Lännister circle to live a pitiable life as a crippled tramp. Theibald himself? Both the defeat of the Kaiser he served and his descent into the winter years made him feel that death was closing in on his weary heart: he was the living image of his surname's decadence. The shattering of all the hopes he had placed on his eldest grandson and on this grand wedding made his heart heavier and let a stabbing pain in. Once Theibald von Lännister, ever since he was sent to Magdeburg as a cadet, had begun to fear being seen as weak. Now, decades later, all of the surname's expectations were drifting away. All of the worst fears which the count had harboured since childhood were coming true.
It pained him to see his dear Elisabeth, whose life he had lived, and whose desires he had overlooked in favour of the clan, so deeply intrenched in despair.
It pained him to see his dear Gottfried, to whom he had been firm and stern as never before to correct his many faults and succeeded, having died so painfully, struck down by cruel chance when his whole life lay ahead, at the twilight of the sacred day, on such a meaningful and hopeful evening.
It pained him to see his dear Jakob, whom he had disowned in a fit of rage, becoming, instead of a powerful and renowned statesman, an inglorious ragamuffin surely condemned to a life of crime.
It pained him to part from his dear Elschen, who would soon leave for Spain, convert to Catholicism, and live among unknown foreigners, and perchance, like her older brother, die an untimely death.
It pained him to see Hélène Tyrell, ten years older than he was himself and equally successful, equally risen from the landed gentry into high society, a woman and eightyish, as his Waterloo.
It pained him to see the Kaiser and the Kaiserin living in exile, the poisons he had unleashed upon the battlefield having claimed the life and health of the Reich's own troops, the Baratheon steelworks lowering their production, the business left in the hands of associates who whispered to one another behind the septuagenarian's back and would not hesitate to lace his drink, to stick a syringe into his arm, to plunge hot lead in between his shoulder blades and make it look like a stray bullet.
Maybe these younger, ambitious men had already made their move, just like the Tyrells.
Theibald von Lännister was a tragic hero as well.
This was his journey's end.
As the von Lännisters gathered around the one they thought had died of lockjaw, a slender gentleman in his fifties, with a silver-streaked dark goatee, closed in on Sandra.
"You're no longer safe here. Pack your case as soon as possible. We're leaving tonight," he whispered in her ear.
"Are we leaving... this region? Or do you mean this country?" The redhead looked up, with a look of both hope and anxiety, to Herr Bälisch, whose slate-grey eyes shone with a look of concern.
"For our château in the Alps. Lizzie wasn't invited to the wedding, and she'd love to hear her niece giving an account of the whole grand affair." To soothe her, Peter was stroking her fire-red locks.
"Since you're Aunt Lizzie's husband, I'm your niece as well," Sandra said as she got upstairs in the Tyrells' provisory residence, having been carried there in his company.
"To me, you're more than that. You'll become our ward as well. Lizzie and I can sadly have no children, and we'd like a sweet and lovely maiden who shines with wit for our own."
With a lighter heart, she began to pack her trunk as well, beginning with the gloves and the locket. In her new foreign home, she would keep it as a memento from what she would always call "the wedding of her lifetime."
Indeed, the day had been full of irony, she thought as she packed her trunk. A newlywed bridegroom, in the prime of life and pleased with everything that day, on top of the wheel of fortune, had suddenly been racked with excruciating pain and forced to grin like a Cheshire cat.
A leaden bullet the size of a hazelnut had plunged into Gustavus Adolphus in between the shoulder blades at Lützen, and the Thirty Years' War had thus unfurled in a completely different direction from the expected. Likewise, a seed the size of a ten-pfennig coin, ground into powder and dissolved in distilled liquid, found its way into Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister, and the whole palace of cards that his dynasty had raised was crumbling around his lifeless form. Why are the most fatal catalysts that could end an important person's life smaller than said person, and tear at the fabric of that person's life from within? Isn't that unexpected? And... Isn't that irony?
Reader, you may be thinking the same and asking the same question as our heroine. Which I, as I must confess, have often wondered myself.
Still, that day would bring another casualty, a decades older person sharing Gottfried's gender and surname. Let us thus leave Sandra Stark quickly packing her trunk and head back to the von Lännister mansion. There, pensive and depressed, a seventyish patriarch and veteran is wondering the same things that our red-haired heroine was thinking of.
Indeed, the day had been full of irony. A newlywed bridegroom, in the prime of life and pleased with everything that day, on top of the wheel of fortune, had suddenly been racked with excruciating pain and forced to grin like a Cheshire cat.
A leaden bullet the size of a hazelnut had plunged into Gustavus Adolphus in between the shoulder blades at Lützen, and the Thirty Years' War had thus unfurled in a completely different direction from the expected. Likewise, a seed the size of a ten-pfennig coin, ground into powder and dissolved in distilled liquid, found its way into Gottfried Baratheon-von Lännister, and the whole palace of cards that his dynasty had raised was crumbling around his lifeless form. Why are the most fatal catalysts that could end an important person's life smaller than said person, and tear at the fabric of that person's life from within? Isn't that unexpected? And... Isn't that irony?
The aged Count Theibald was pondering on these stressful thoughts, as well as on the decadence of his own dynasty and his own life, in the lavatory, as he relieved himself. Of course, emptying his rectum while brooding and regretting mistakes past was putting even more stress on his weary system.
Should he ask his children and grandchildren, and the Tyrells, for forgiveness? Never before had he dared, but now, in his seventies, he had to atone for all of the decisions he had made for the clan's sake, without paying heed to his loved ones' happiness. When he had finished his duties, he would ask both Jakob and Elisabeth for forgiveness, and, for the first time in all three of their lives, lock both of them in a heartfelt embrace.
Alas! The veteran warrior and statesman would never reconcile himself with them in life!
For then, suddenly, he felt a stabbing pain in between his heart and his solar plexus, as if a gunshot had pierced his vitals. It was too intense a pain to be the usual ulcer. Those plotting associates' fault? Maybe they should have never been invited to the wedding. Clutching his midriff, screaming in pain, and slightly staggering off the seat, before he could stand up, everything turned pitch black before his cataracted eyes, and he was falling backwards on the seat, as if struck by lightning. Then, he was completely still.
Seeing how much he was delayed in such a simple task, his valet and Elisabeth rushed into the lavatory to see what had happened. They found, in a room that reeked of death and feces, the seventyish count bereft of life, leaning backwards with his head resting on the wall, sitting on his inglorious "throne."
His chest didn't heave, he was strangely pale and cold, and a little rill of ruby blood trickled from the parted lips. Had a blood vessel burst in his chest? Was it a heart condition? Or perchance a stroke? Or had the younger associates finally made their move?
The mere sight of her sire dead and the disgust she felt upon entering the room made her wince and stagger, until she fell unconscious on the floor, deeply alive, but shocked. She'd love to have a talk with Theibald after he had done his physical duties, about her marriage, the disowning of her brother, the recent demise of Gottfried... Alas! Her lord father was deceased, and her eldest son was deceased as well, and the other half of her, now bereft of his rightful place, was leaving the glitter and glamour of Potsdam society to err around the wastelands like a wheeling outcast, but at least staying for the night in the neoclassical mansion where both of the von Lännister twins had been born and raised.
There was also concern in Jakob's green eyes as he carried the half-conscious Sissi out of the lavatory. He had been shocked by what he had seen and by the strong scent of the room as well, and he dried up her tears as both of them undressed and went to bed. Yet his peridot eyes were sharp and piercing like glittering bayonets, as sharp as the end of his right hook, and, in a cold and emotionless voice, he called her Elisabeth.
Never had her brother called the dowager by her full name. To him, she had hitherto always been Sissi, and he had never been icy or shifty. For a second she thought that the rage of war, the pain of desertion, the loss of his dexter hand, all the suffering he had been through... had frozen his heart cold as ice and hard as steel, but the reply she received struck and pierced the lady's heart like a bullet at point-blank range:
"Pardon me, Elisabeth. What I felt for you is dead since long ago. And there is another."
"You love another!?" There were tears in her eyes. Right when she needed the solace of the only one she had got left, he told had her that, during the war, he had fallen out of love and given his heart to another. Jakob didn't tell her the name of her rival, but at least he told her how another woman had kindled the hope that had died within his heart of hearts, saving his life and leading him back to the light, to reconcile himself with the past and with his own darkness. And how he now merely saw Elisabeth as his sister, no longer as an object of desire.
"Tomorrow I leave for Valencia, on the east coast of Spain. With Elsa and with my new flame, the one I truly love. Don't worry about the girl, and by that I mean Elsa. Trust me. I'm still your twin brother, after all. And I swear by my von Lännister honour, which I had not lost after all, that she will be right as rain."
She burst into tears on his chest, drying them up on his shirt, as he caressed the crown of her golden head and hummed a reassuring, familiar tune to soothe her. She listened to his soft tenor voice humming Brahms's lullaby, as she clasped his slender waist and he ran his lithe left fingers through her golden hair, curling it with his hook on the other side. Thus did the von Lännister twins spend that whole summer night, not as unfaithful lovers, but finally like brother and sister.