jueves, 30 de marzo de 2023

C.S. LEWIS - ZODIAC AND MAGICAL CREATURES IN "TURN OF THE TIDE"

 From "The Turn of the Tide" by C.S. Lewis:

Salamanders in the Sun who brandish as they run
Tails like the Americas in size,
Were stunned by it and dazed; wondering, they gazed
Up at Earth, misgiving in their eyes.

In Houses and Signs the Ousiarchs divine

Grew pale and questioned what it meant;
Great Galactic Lords stood back to back with swords
Half-drawn, awaiting the event,
And a whisper among them passed, “Is this perhaps the last
Of our story and the glories of our crown?—
The entropy worked out?—the central redoubt
Abandoned?—The world-spring running down?”
Then they could speak no more. Weakness overbore
Even them; they were as flies in a web,
In lethargy stone-dumb. The death had almost come,
And the tide lay motionless at ebb.

Like a stab at that moment over Crab and Bowman,
Over Maiden and Lion, came the shock
Of returning life, the start, and burning pang at heart,
Setting galaxies to tingle and rock.
The Lords dared to breathe, swords went into sheathes
A rustling, a relaxing began;
With rumour and noise of the resuming of joys
Along the nerves of the universe it ran.
Then, pulsing into space with delicate dulcet pace,
Came a music infinitely small,
But clear; and it swelled and drew nearer, till it held
All worlds with the sharpness of its call,
And now divinely deep, ever louder, with a leap
And quiver of inebriating sound,
The vibrant dithyramb shook Libra and the Ram,
The brains of Aquarius spun round—
Such a note as neither Throne nor Potentate had known
Since the Word created the abyss.
But this time it was changed in a mystery, estranged,
A paradox, an ambiguous bliss.

Heaven danced to it and burned; such answer was returned
To the hush, the Favete, the fear
That Earth had sent out. Revel, mirth and shout
Descended to her, sphere below sphere,
Till Saturn laughed and lost his latter age’s frost
And his beard, Niagara-like, unfroze;
The monsters in the Sun rejoiced; the Inconstant One,
The unwedded Moon, forgot her woes;
A shiver of re-birth and deliverance round the Earth
Went gliding; her bonds were released;
Into broken light the breeze once more awoke the seas,
In the forest it wakened every beast;
Capripods fell to dance from Taproban to France,
Leprechauns from Down to Labrador;
In his green Asian dell the Phoenix from his shell
Burst forth and was the Phoenix once more.

...


(Ousiarchs: cosmic rulers of the zodiac signs)

E.R. EDDISON ON CLASSICAL GODS

 Like a lily, or like a moonbeam strayed through the leafy roof into a silent wood, she stood there, her face uplifted to the starry night where all the air was drenched with the silver radiance of the moon. And now in a soft voice she began supplication to the Gods which are from everlasting, calling upon them in turn by their holy names, upon gray-eyed Pallas, and Apollo, and Artemis the fleet Huntress, upon Aphrodite, and Hera, Queen of Heaven, and Ares, and Hermes, and the dark-tressed Earthshaker. Nor was she afraid to address her holy prayers to him who from his veiled porch beside Acheron and Lethe Lake binds to his will the devils of the under-gloom, nor to the great Father of All in Whose sight time from the beginning until to-day is but the dipping of a wand into the boundless ocean of eternity. So prayed she to the blessed Gods, most earnestly requiring them that under their countenance might be that ride, the like whereof earth had not known [...]

E.R. Eddison, The Worm Ouroboros.

martes, 28 de marzo de 2023

MANERAS TONTAS DE MORIR

 MANERAS TONTAS DE MORIR

Traducido del inglés por Sandra Dermark

19 de septiembre del 2015


Prender fuego a tu cabello largo,

hacer cosquillas a un oso pardo,

ingerir medicina caducada,

usar tus partes como cebo para pirañas…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…


Sacar la tostada con tenedor,

hacer tu propia reparación, 

enseñarte a ti misma a volar,

comerte un pay de dos semanas sin congelar…


Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…


Invitar a un psicópata a entrar,

el coche nuevo de un narco rasgar,

quitarte el casco en el espacio exterior,

esconderte en una secadora de Bosch…


Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…


Tener una serpiente cascabel,

vender los dos riñones por la Red,

ingerir un tubo de Super Glue…

¿Qué hará este botón? ¿Te lo preguntas tú?


Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…

Maneras tontas de morir…


Disfrazarte de alce en temporada…

molestar a un avispero por nada…

Ponerte de pie en el borde del andén,

cruzar cuando está bajado el paso a nivel,

cruzar corriendo de un andén a otro…

Puede que no rimen, pero son tal vez…


Las más tontas formas de morir…

Las más tontas formas de morir…

Las más tontas formas de morir…

Hay tantas… maneras tontas de morir…


Observe la seguridad en torno a los trenes.

lunes, 27 de marzo de 2023

SCP-294 - THE COFFEE MACHINE

 Item #: SCP-294

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: There are no standard special containment procedures on file for Item SCP-294. However, only personnel of security clearance level 2 or higher are allowed to interact with it (see document SCP-294a). SCP-294 is currently being stored in the 2nd floor personnel break room and is monitored by two guards of security clearance level 3 at all times.

Description: Item SCP-294 appears to be a standard coffee vending machine, the only noticeable difference being an entry touchpad with buttons corresponding to an English QWERTY keyboard. Upon depositing fifty cents US currency into the coin slot, the user is prompted to enter the name of any liquid using the touchpad. Upon doing so, a standard 12-ounce paper drinking cup is placed and the liquid indicated is poured. Ninety-seven initial test runs were performed (including requests for water, coffee, beer, and soda, non-consumable liquids such as sulfuric acid, wiper fluid, and motor oil, as well as substances that do not usually exist in liquid state, such as nitrogen, iron and glass) and each one returned a success. Test runs with solid materials such as diamond have failed, however, as it appears that SCP-294 can only deliver substances that can exist in liquid state.

It is of note that after approximately fifty uses, the machine would not respond to further requests. After a period of approximately 90 minutes, the machine seemed to have restocked itself. It is also interesting to note that many caustic liquids that would have eaten through a normal paper cup seemed to have no effect on the cups dispensed by the machine.

Testing is ongoing. As suggested, SCP-294 was moved to the 2nd floor personnel break room as a money-saving venture. Following incident 294-01, guards were stationed at the item and a security clearance became necessary to interact with it.

Document SCP-294a (regarding incident 294-01): On August 21, 2005, Agent Joseph ██████ attempted to use Item SCP-294 to obtain coffee during his allotted break time at 9:30 AM. At the request of Agent █████ █████████ "to see what it would do", ██████ requested "a cup of Joe" from the item. Moments after confirming the selection, Agent Joseph ██████ began to sweat profusely and complained of dizziness before collapsing. After moving the unconscious agent to the infirmary, the medical team recovered the contents of the cup dispensed by Item SCP-294: a combination of blood, tissue, and other bodily fluids. Testing revealed the DNA sequence of the biological material dispensed by SCP-294 matched that of Agent ██████.

Agent ██████ made a complete recovery after four weeks of rest and intravenous hydration. X-rays and CAT scans showed no further signs of injury, and ██████ was released. Both agents were reprimanded. Additional security measures for SCP-294 have been recommended.

Addendum [SCP-294f]: After reviewing documentation on SCP-294, ███████████ suggested testing SCP-294's ability to 'retrieve' specific liquids from a distance.

Addendum [SCP-294h]: With the overseeing of O5-[DATA EXPUNGED] "a cup of SCP-075's secretion" was used as input. The product was proven to be the requested liquid and the cup was able to successfully contain the material. However, the report for incident 075-07 was acknowledged 2 hours after the test (See Addendum [SCP-075m]). A containment procedure breach had occurred exactly the same time this test was taking place, waking SCP-075 to its active stage. It was able to secrete an amount of basic solution equal to the capacity of a coffee cup before emergency containment procedure was applied and it was rendered passive. The liquid was not found in the post-incident investigation.

Addendum [SCP-294i]: Researcher punched in request for "cup of gold". The machine dispensed a cup of molten gold. Researcher requested similar precious materials with the same result.

Addendum [SCP-294j]: Researcher punched in (from a safe range) request for "cup of anti-water". The machine hummed briefly, then displayed "OUT OF RANGE" on entry pad. It is theorized that SCP-294 has a limited range of collection, and cannot reach into alternate universes/dimensions.

Addendum [SCP-294k]: Researcher punched in request for "diamond". SCP-294 briefly hummed, then displayed "OUT OF RANGE" on entry pad. SCP-294 gives this result for all solid substances. As diamond is a solid crystalline form of carbon, it appears the machine will not dispense liquid carbon, as this does not result in a "diamond". When "cup of carbon" was subsequently punched in, the machine dispensed a cup of liquid carbon. SCP-294 was immune to the damaging effects of the dispensed liquid.

Addendum [SCP-294m]: Testing for range of SCP-294's capacity for retrieval has been initiated. A unique compound has been formulated, composed of undisclosed ratios of ███████ brand bleach, █████ ██ ███ █ brand cola, MET-RX powder, and Garam masala. The fluid was created and placed in a sealed container 25 meters away from SCP 294. When requested, the fluid was dispensed. An equal amount of the mixture was no longer present in its original container.

Addendum [SCP-294o-01]: Researcher ███ ██████, under observation of Level 4 personnel, keyed in a request of "the best drink I've ever had". SCP-294 dispensed a fluid similar in appearance to cola. The researcher identified it as a mixed drink he recalls having at a bar during his bachelor party, and was convinced it was "the best drink". ██████ did not know what ingredients were in the drink besides rum and cola. Further tests are scheduled to ascertain how SCP-294 gathers information.

Addendum [SCP-294o-01a]: Under the same conditions, Agent ████████ "the best drink I've ever had". SCP-294 delivered a dark fluid topped with white foam which was later identified as Vienna lager. The cup was printed with a color picture of five (5) men and two (2) women drinking beer on the beach; ████████ was one of them. In his briefing, Agent ████████ confirmed that his favorite drink ever was a Vienna lager he consumed at the beach with his friends. It has now been confirmed that SCP-294 has the ability to directly gather information from someone's mind in order to comply with the given conditions.

Addendum [SCP-294q-01]: Subject keyed "the perfect drink." The machine dispensed a cup containing an odorless lavender liquid. After drinking the liquid, subject appeared to go into shock. Subject later committed suicide, leaving a note which read "I'm sorry, but at this point everything's just one big letdown." Requesting such a drink again is highly discouraged. None of the components of the drink have yet been identified.

Addendum [SCP-294t-01]: Subject keyed in "something Cassy will like". The device was heard to hum for about three seconds, before dispensing an empty cup. Printed on the side of the cup was an image of a traditional soda fountain glass, filled with something brown, and topped with whipped cream. Upon introduction to SCP-085, it was identified by her as a chocolate banana milkshake and judged 'delicious'.

Addendum [SCP-294w]: Researcher keyed in request for "a cup of music". SCP-294 produced a clear, sparkling fluid that tasted vaguely alcoholic. Following ingestion, subject reported "feeling" and not hearing, a continuous rhythm, and demonstrated the ability to move and even dance with a certain fluidity that he had not previously shown. Testing on other abstract concepts is continuing.

Addendum [SCP-294ab]: During a mass security breach, Agent ██████ requested "a cup of pertinent medical knowledge" while taking shelter inside the second floor break room. Of the four agents in the room, Agent ██████ was the only one who was not injured. SCP-294 poured a cup of clear green liquid. Following the ingestion of this substance, Agent ██████ began mending the other agents' wounds in a manner consistent with Foundation medical training. Agent ██████ no longer has the medical training that the liquid provided and other attempts to recreate the effect have failed. The agent has speculated that this event was an emergency measure taken by the object to ensure self-preservation.

Addendum [SCP-294ac]: Dr.████████ requested "my life story" from SCP-294; SCP-294 made humming noises and shook violently for approximately 3 minutes before providing a highly viscous, opaque black liquid. Upon consumption, Dr.████████ reported that he remembered everything that had ever happened to him. Following this test, Dr.████████ entered his office and returned 48 hours later with a 538-page autobiography.

Addendum [SCP-294ad]: Researcher produced request consisting solely of the phrase "surprise me". Device produced an opaque cup containing normal water, later determined to have been heated to approximately 200 degrees Celsius. Upon receiving vibration from transport, the contents of the cup turned into steam, violently spraying boiling water in a 2-meter radius.

Addendum [SCP-294af]: Researcher produced request for "Blood of Christ". SCP-294 vibrated and produced the message "Hic est enim Calix Sánguinis mei", then produced a paper drinking cup containing approximately 0.12 liters of red grape wine.

Addendum [SCP-294ag]: Researcher produced requests for "cup of Smilodon blood", "cup of passenger pigeon blood", and "cup of Thomas Jefferson's blood", and received three "OUT OF RANGE" errors.

Addendum [SCP-294ah]: A D-class personnel with IQ of 99 and low curiosity scores was given written instructions about what to request. The D-class personnel produced a request for 'blood of canis lupus' and received a cup of liquid subsequently identified as wolf blood. The D-class personnel next produced a request for 'saliva of equus ferus caballus' and received a cup of liquid subsequently identified as horse saliva. The D-class personnel next produced a request for "urine of phascolarctos cinereus' and received a cup of liquid subsequently identified as koala urine. The D-class personnel next produced a request for "cerebrospinal fluid of phoberomys pattersoni" and received a cup of liquid currently undergoing analysis. It is to be noted that Phoberomys pattersoni went extinct during the late Miocene epoch, approximately 8 million years ago.

Addendum [SCP-294ai]: Dr. King produced request for "a cup of room-temperature superconductor", and received a cup of apple juice with seeds floating in it.

Addendum [SCP-294aj]: Dr. Menchu produced request for "cup of D-151839's leukemia", and received a cup of fluid; the fluid was microscopically examined and found to contain leukemic blast cells, which were a genetic match to D-151839. A second request for "cup of D-151839's leukemia" resulted in an "OUT OF RANGE" error. D-151839 was subsequently found to be free of leukemia; however, within 15 days, the leukemia had recurred.

Other SCP-294 experiments are currently awaiting approval. ]

jueves, 23 de marzo de 2023

CLICK - BETTER FIT BEN THAN FAT BEN

 In the first timeline of the film Click, son character Ben Newman (Jake Hoffman) has, as a young adult, a good, healthy life, a nice, kind, not-prone-to-jealousy health nut swimming coach stepfather Bill (Sean Astin) who helped him get healthy, a nice, pretty young wife Julie (Jana Kramer) and Dolores O'Riordan (Herself) singing Linger at their wedding, a honeymoon in Italy, good looks as the cherry on top... 

Then Morty/Death (Christopher Walken) comes along and resets the timeline. I prefer Ben's first character arc over the second one we get. Maybe he evolves into a fat loser anyway after the ending... If his parents don't divorce and his mum doesn't remarry Bill, that is! Then his life would improve...

CAMEO: Dolores O'RiordanThe Cranberries: The singer who sings "Linger" at the wedding towards the end.


martes, 21 de marzo de 2023

IN MEMORIAM OF GRANDMA DERMARK

 To the memory of Barbro Yvonne Elisabeth Dermark, née Rydskog

Beloved wife, mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother

May she dwell for evermore in my heart and ours

She just fell asleep yesterday, nevermore to awaken...

Here is a poem for her:

The sun rises

every morning

and greats us all

even in

hardships

We all become

star rays and see the 

Earth from the other

side of the sun

when passing


ABITFRANK: THE SNOW QUEEN FOURTH STORY

 This is an excerpt from a YouTube video titled "How Frozen Could Have Been Drastically Different" in which fairytale YouTuber Abitfrank sums up the Hans Christian Andersen story of the Snow Queen. In this post, as usual, we focus on my favourite subplot, the Fourth Story featuring the Prince and the Princess, for intelligent conversation is a relationship goal for me!








The princess in a realm close by has married someone like Gerda described, right down to his new squeaky boots!







This princess would only marry someone who was handsome and could have an intelligent conversation with her, and hundreds were turned away, except for this one boy who won her heart!






The crow has an "in" to the palace - his tame sweetheart, who is also a crow and who gets a key for Gerda to enter the decadent royal bedchambers by way of a back door of the castle.










Once there, Gerda sees that the Prince is not her Kai, but tells her whole story to the Prince and Princess, who want to help her. They provide her with fancy warm clothing, AND a golden carriage outfitted with a full contingent of staff, as well as candy, fruit, and cookies.












The crows, whom the royal couple scolded and then thanked, are now married and are allowed to eat the kitchen's leftovers.
One has a food hangover, but the original friendly crow accompanies Gerda for the first three miles of her journey in the golden carriage.






But because a fancy shiny golden carriage is a pretty conspicuous means of travel through a forest, she is soon waylaid by bandits, who kill all of her men and steal the horses.
They are about to kill her too, when a little spoiled bandit girl stops them.


...


Gerda asks after the prince and princess, who have apparently gone off to other countries.









Das Mondschaf - Lunovis

Christian Morgenstern 

Das Mondschaf

Das Mondschaf steht auf weiter Flur.
Es harrt und harrt der großen Schur.
     Das Mondschaf.

Das Mondschaf rupft sich einen Halm

und geht dann heim auf seine Alm.

     Das Mondschaf.

Das Mondschaf spricht zu sich im Traum:
„Ich bin des Weltalls dunkler Raum.“
     Das Mondschaf.

Das Mondschaf liegt am Morgen tot.

Sein Leib ist weiß, die Sonn ist rot.
     Das Mondschaf.



Lunovis


Lunovis in planitie stat
cultrumque magn' expectitat.
     Lunovis.

Lunovis herba rapta it

in montes, unde cucurrit.

     Lunovis.

Lunovis habet somnium:
Se culmen rer' ess' omnium.
     Lunovis.

Lunovis mane mortuumst.

Sol ruber atque ips' albumst.
     Lunovis.

Gender Transformation and Ontology in the Salmacis Legend

 Episodes of gender transformation in Ovid’s Metamorphoses primarily reflect and reinforce traditional binary gender roles, misogyny, and normative sexuality. These hegemonic ideologies are visible in the motivations for each metamorphosis, wherein masculinization is framed as a miracle performed on a willing subject and feminization as a horrific and unnatural curse born from the perverted desires of an assailant. Yet a close analysis of these narratives reveals a crucial point of difference between Ovid’s assumptions about gender and that of most modern Westerners: for Ovid, gender is at least hypothetically mutable. It is generally synonymous with sex, but once a person’s sex has been physically changed, they can and should take up their new social role and be accepted as a member of their new gender. In this essay, I (Stickley) will examine the story of Hermaphroditus and Salmacis – from a queer and specifically transgender perspective which seeks to reveal the underlying ontology of Ovid’s conception of gender. I argue that although these stories reflect the hegemonic gender ideologies of the period, they still illustrate conceptions of gender that differ radically from the biologically determinist and immutable one that is hegemonic in modern Western culture, making the Metamorphoses a highly significant text for queer scholarship.

The story of Hermaphroditus and Salmacis (Met. 4.285- 415) contrasts with that of Caenis because the focus is on an act of feminization rather than masculinization. Both metamorphoses occur during an act of sexual violence, but Caenis’ transformation into Caeneus is a blessing to them and a marvel to other humans, while Hermaphroditus’ is a curse and a horror. The already androgynous youth Hermaphroditus, son of the two gods whose names he bears, chances upon a spring occupied by the nymph Salmacis, who falls madly in lust with him and rapes him after he rejects her proposition. She prays to the gods “that no day comes to part me from him, or him from me,” and “the entwined bodies of the two were joined together, and one form covered both … they were not two, but a two-fold form, so that they could not be called male or female, and seemed neither or either.” So transformed, Hermaphroditus (and it is he and not Salmacis who seems to dominate their shared form) prays to his parents that “whoever comes to these fountains as a man, let him leave them half a man, and weaken suddenly at the touch of these waters.” This story seeks to provide an etiology for the emasculating powers the spring was already rumored to have, and differs markedly from earlier versions of the tale in which Hermaphroditus is intersex since birth and/or Salmacis does not rape him but rather raises him as a mother figure. In Ovid’s version of the story, being overpowered sexually by a woman emasculates a man, resulting in his transformation into an androgynous being who is not fully male or female. There is a suggestion here of gender as an expression of power, defined by one’s relationship to others and echoed by the centaurs’ concern that Caeneus has made them “what he once was.”

Ovid’s account of Hermaphroditus’ transformation is anomalous not because it describes a man as a victim of rape – young men and boys especially were seen as targets for sexual desire and therefore as vulnerable to rape – but because it portrays a woman (nymph) as a rapist. Female desire and aggression are the driving monstrosities in this story, which “reinstates sexual difference by a nightmarish enactment of what happens when the familiar gender roles are reversed.” Ovid uses the expectations set by the poem thus far to misdirect the reader. Salmacis is a nymph, like many others in the Metamorphoses who are all subjected to attempted sexual violence by various gods. Hermaphroditus is commonly read by other characters as a woman in other stories, usually to humorous effect, and indeed “his features were such that, in them, both mother and father could be seen”; so the reader might expect that “perhaps [Salmacis] will mistake Hermaphroditus for a woman, and be lulled into a false sense of security.” But Salmacis is unlike all of the other nymphs in the Metamorphoses: “she is not skilled for the chase, or used to flexing the bow, or the effort of running, the only Naiad not known by swift-footed Diana (Artemis)… She only bathes her shapely limbs in the pool [and] combs out her hair.” She concerns herself primarily with her appearance and seems to have as little regard for the virginity prized by her fellow nymphs as she does for hunting. It is Hermaphroditus who plays the part of the chaste victim here and Salmacis the predatory divinity whose eyes “[blaze] with passion, as when Phoebus’ likeness (the Sun) is reflected from a mirror.”

After the gods grant Salmacis' wish, the narration seems to leave her aside and focus only on Hermaphroditus' feelings, even though they are now one being. His personality is the one that persists, and he is able to voice his umbrage in the form of his prayer to his parents. The transformation is described in the sense of weakening or diluting rather than gaining something: Hermaphroditus’ “limbs had been softened there,” leaving him “half male.” While we might argue that by this logic, Salmacis has also been strengthened. But, Ovid spares no mention of her, focusing entirely on the injury done to Hermaphroditus. In addition to reifying the traditional belief that men should be sexually aggressive and that women should be passive by mythologizing the shift in gender identity that occurs when a man is sexually overpowered, the story of Salmacis and Hermaphroditus reflects ideas of male superiority, and it is this misogyny which accounts for the drastic difference in tone between this episode and the others examined here.

This story reflects hegemonic ideals about gender roles, including a deep misogyny. It is notable that both instances of masculinization are framed as positive and miraculous events, while the one tale of feminization has a considerably darker tone. Hermaphroditus’ transformation is framed as horrific if somewhat farcical, representing a reversal of the perceived natural order wherein a sexually aggressive woman rapes a man and, in doing so, permanently feminizes him; yet despite this role reversal, the masculine half is still ultimately dominant in a dual-sexed body, as it is the persona of Hermaphroditus and not of Salmacis that seems to survive the encounter. 

Despite the pervasive misogyny of the Metamorphoses, the poem seems to lack the understanding of gender as an immutable fact set at birth which we might expect to see based on our understanding of modern gender politics. For Ovid, once someone’s body has been transformed, they are for all intents and purposes a member of that sex and should be accepted as such. Modern Western transphobia does not accept transgender people as their gender, even if they medically transition to the point that they would be visually indistinguishable from a cisgender person of the same gender, because of a belief in the primacy of the “original” gender assigned at birth, which Ovid does not appear to share. 

The Metamorphoses, then, has an underlying ontology of gender which differs markedly from the hegemonic modern Western one in its belief that gender is ultimately mutable, and may even represent some rudimentary questioning of the classical belief that gender is defined by sex.

sábado, 18 de marzo de 2023

¡FRIKIZOIDE! ¡FRIKIZOIDE!

 En los años noventa, Steven Spielberg se dedicó a crear una serie de programas animados con su particular estilo con el sello de la Warner.

La mayoría de ellos se lanzaron en España: es decir, Animanía¡Histeria!Pinky y Cerebro y Tiny Toons. Sólo Freakazoid! permanece inédito en nuestro país de Sagitario (aunque se lanzó en Hispanoamérica con el título de ¡Fenomenoide!)

Pero me encanta Freakazoid! porque comparte las características de las series animadas producidas por Spielberg en los años noventa y me parece una pena que España no haya podido conocer este programa y que yo lo haya podido conocer gracias al doblaje inglés original e hispanoamericano en YouTube. He aquí, por ende, mi propia traducción del tema de apertura por si yo me dedicara a hacer un doblaje fan al castellano de todas las voces:



Superjoven extraordinario…
¡Frikizoide! ¡Frikizoide!
…corriendo en ropa interior
¡Frikizoide! ¡Frikizoide!
Siempre salva a Washington…
¡Frikizoide! ¡Frikizoide!
…si no hay nada en televisión
¡Frikizoide! ¡Frikizoide!
Cerebro sobrecargado
y bien chocolateado…
¿Qué diría Sigmund Freud
del Frikizoide, Frikizoide?

Este es Dexter Douglas,
todo un empollón.
Y, navegando por la Red,
algo extraño le ocurrió…
Se convirtió en el Frikizoide,
muy fuerte y muy veloz…
¡vuelve locos a los malos
con su conducta atroz!

Reside en la Frikicueva
¡Frikizoide! ¡Fricassé!
Floyd le corta la pelambrera
¡Frikizoide! ¡Chimpancé!
Se desplaza en el Frikimóvil
¡Frikizoide! ¡Frikizoo!
Espera saltar al celuloide
¡Frikitú! ¡Frikiyó!
Él va a salvar la patria:
¡no cambiéis de programa!
Si no, en el paro acabaremos…
¡Frikizoide! ¡Frikizoide!
¡Frikizoide!