Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta emma thompson. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta emma thompson. Mostrar todas las entradas

martes, 11 de noviembre de 2025

LENNART HELLSINGS SJÖRÖVARBOK

För några år sedan, under eller innan pandemin, lyssnade jag på ett avsnitt av podden Snedtänkt som handlade om censur i svensk barnlitteratur och om vissa barnböcker som antingen förändrades på vissa känsliga ställen - eller rycktes bort helt och hållet från skol- och folkbiblioteken över hela Sverige, ifall det känsliga innehållet inte kunde förändras:

  • Hattstugan - såväl eldsvåda som barnaga förekommer i denna Elsa Beskow-klassiker - rycktes bort
  • Tintin i Kongo (och andra Tintin-serier där han besöker exotiska platser) p g a nidbilder av mörkhyade, asiater, judar, m fl - rycktes bort
  • Gammaldags julböcker där Tomten röker pipa - antingen pipan suddades bort eller böckerna rycktes bort. I de flesta fallen suddades bort både pipan och dessa verser: the stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
    and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
  • Kapten Efraim Långstrump (Pippis pappa) - kunde inte ryckas bort, eftersom Astrid och Pippi är Nationella Skatter och dyker t o m upp på tjugolappen - men det blev en hel del förändringar:
  1. Kapten Långstrumps pipa suddades bort, precis som jultomtens
  2. Kapten Långstrump kallas nu för "söderhavskung" eller helt enkelt bara "kung"
  3. Hans undersåtar, kurrekurreduttarna, kallas nu för "infödingar" och har suddats bort, eftersom illustrationerna föreställde nidbilder 

Men -

Det finns en barnbok av Lennart Hellsing (en annan Nationell Skatt, dock inte till samma grad som Astrid Lindgren), som verkar vara självaste NECRONOMICON i jämförelse med allt det här, och som har tagits bort från alla bibliotek i Sverige, fastän den handlar om ett så oskyldigt och spännande ämne som pirater.

Om du har tur kanske du kan hitta den på second hand.

Mina herrar och damer och icke-binära, jag hälsar eder välkomna till Sjörövarbok.

Här är omslaget:

Oskyldigt, eller hur? Ett piratskepp till havs med Jolly Roger i topp? Alla barn på jorden tycker att pirater är spännande.

Men skenet bedrar i det här fallet...

Lollipop, lollipop
Jolly Roger i topp!
Hur det slår! Hur det går!
Hela världen är vår!

Som ni ser är boken på vers, allting rimmar (som i flera aldra barnböcker, t ex Hattstugan och de flesta av Dr Seuss, samt de flesta av Lennart Hellsing, författaren till Sjörövarbok!). Här, som i de flesta av hans verk, har Hellsing utnyttjat versen för att få fram väldigt kreativa rim, med alla kaptenernas efternamn (och alla piraterna här är kaptener!) - fast just här är rimmen om teman som anses inte vara PK alls för nutida barn.

Om det nu är så (och det är det) att förläggare och föräldrar får dåndimpen av otäckheter som alkohol, tobak, naket och okristligt språk i våra ungas kultur så är det inte konstigt att "Sjörövarbok" i omgångar varit flitigt debatterad. Piraterna lever onekligen ett sabla liv. Under det stora sjöslaget i början på boken stupar flera kaptener (och alla pirater i den här boken är kaptener!):

"Kapten Smolk drog sin dolk 
och tog livet av folk.
Kapten Spritar gick i bitar
Kapten Klas han gick i kras
Kapten Trogen gick åt skogen
Kapten Höök gick upp i rök"
Detta illustreras med en väldig explosion där skeppet går i tusen bitar och flera tusen pirater flyger all världens väg. Det var en del av våldet då. Hur är det då med spriten? Vi följer piraterna in på en bar. Efter sjöslaget måste man läska strupen, eller hur?

"Till en bar drog envar 
varje karl som fanns kvar
Kapten Viit han kom dit 
tog en nit på kredit
Kapten Bäver drack genever 
Kapten Franz drack pommerans
Kapten Koppar Bäska Droppar 
Kapten Lans drack vad som fanns! 
Kapten Fura, Angostura 
Kapten Bayer drack tokajer  
Kapten Linn, han drack gin (är gin och genever samma sak?) 
Kapten Öd, han drack mjöd 
Kapten Boom, han drack rom 
Kapten Frälst drack vad som helst!"

 

En av kaptenerna dricker juice och en annan dricker vatten, men bara därför att det rimmar på deras respektive efternamn. Märk också att några av dryckerna (Angostura, Bäska Droppar, pomerans, tokajer) är numera väldigt okända och lika svåra att få tag på (t o m på Systembolaget!) Vem dricker t ex Angostura nuförtiden?


Och när en pirat jobbat hårt med att döda och plundra och sedan stärkt sig med ett glas har han såklart gjort sig förtjänt av lite kvinnligt sällskap:

"Kapten Skam, han tog sig fram 
till en mager madam
Kapten Sju tog itu 
med en ungdomlig fru
Kapten Hyska tog en ryska, 
Kapten Ess tog en negress
Kapten Benka tog en änka, 
Kapten Gris en servitris
Lägga an! Lägga till! Lägga upp! Lägga bi!
Kapten Punkt tog det lugnt 
och tog hand om något ungt!"


Föga förvånande har det funnit dom som velat sudda bort vissa delar. Meningen som retat upp moralens väktare är framförallt:

"Kapten Böös slog sig lös 
med en nakendansös!"

Både kapten Böos och kapten Punkt, den pedofilen!
Samt bilden där kapten Böös skålar bredvid den barbröstade nakendansösen (och negressen, en nidbild, finns med på samma illustration!) I USA, och i senare svenska upplagor, tog man sig helt sonika den konstnärliga friheten att krita dit en bikini (fast då är hon inte längre naken!). Likväl på den tjockrövade tjejen på sleeven (omslaget) på Queens Fat-Bottomed Girls.

Bikinin var INTE alltid där!


Om det är några som har ett avslappnat och icke-sexualiserat förhållande till kvinnobröst så är det väl för håken barn. (Bedöm gärna själva men varning för den hiskeliga dunka-dunka musiken!)

Historien, som är följande: två sjörövarskepp möts, slagsmål, kanonskott och till slut en stor explosion uppstår. De som överlever, efter sjöslaget, tar sig till en bar där de super loss och hittar sig en varsin fru/käresta. Efter en kväll av dans går de hem genom natten, och bestämmer sig för att ge upp sjöröveriet och istället slå sig ner som fredliga män. Men den dag som sjörövarskeppet kommer tillbaka, så kan de inte motstå att gå till sjöss igen –

----

PS. Om Roald Dahls nya PK-utgåvor:

Roald Dahl, också en Nationell Skatt i Storbritannien och vars främsta verk har alla filmats (Kalle och Chokladfabriken 2 gånger, Matilda även 2 gånger, likaså Häxorna och SVJ [den senaste först som tecknat och senare som live-action], James och Jättepersikan bara en gång, likaså Den fantastiske Räven, sagoparodierna Revolting Rhymes [som crossover i 2 delar], Naddap-Dlöks och allra senast Herr och Fru Slusk [premiär på Netflix i oktober 2025!]), har på sistone återgivits av Puffin Books (Penguins barndivision, som äger rättigheterna) med hjälp av s k "känslighetsläsare" (sensitivity readers). Allt som kunde vara negativt laddat förändrades i de nya utgåvorna:

Oompa-Loomparna kommer nu officielt från Loompalandet, inte från Afrika, och de har dessutom ljusare hy. Också: i stället för att använda Oompa-Loomparna som försökskaniner prövar Wille Wonka det magiska godiset (t ex hårkola) på sig själv.

"Mammor och pappor" byttes ut mot "föräldrar", "bröder och systrar" mot "syskon" och "män och kvinnor" mot "personer/människor".

Alla figurer som har en annorlunda kropp (utom jättarna i SVJ, som inte är människor) och/eller som inte är västerländska - deras beskrivningar suddas ut. Däribland feta figurer som August Glupsk, Bruno från Häxorna, Nikolai Thoresson (han som åt upp chokladtårtan) från Matilda och Mostrarna Sylt (den tjocka) och Snylt (den smala) från James och Jättepersikan.

Jämför bara vad småkrypen inuti persikan (tusenfotingen närmare bestämt) säger när Moster Sylt blir krossad av persikan i originalet och i den nya utgåvan!

ORIGINAL:

Aunt Sponge was terrifically fat,

and tremendously flabby at that!

NY PK-UTGÅVA:

Aunt Sponge was a nasty old brute

and deserved to be squashed by the fruit!

Moster Snylt har lika mycket otur:

ORIGINAL:

Aunt Spiker was thin as a wire

and dry as a bone, only drier!

NY PK-UTGÅVA:

Aunt Spiker was much of the same

and deserves half of the blame!

Även ord som "ugly" och "misshapen" (och motsatserna "pretty" och "beautiful") har försvunnit helt och hållet från de nya brittiska Roald-Dahl-böckerna. Rektorn i Matilda, Fröken Pitbull (tidigare känd som Domderassonskan), en stor och stark, väldigt muskulös och "maskulin" kvinna (Emma Thompson tolkar henne väldigt nära boken), man har förändrat hennes beskrivning otroligt mycket.

Andra ord som "crazy", "lunatic", och allt annat som kan syfta på psykisk ohälsa, likaså "gay" (t o m om det betyder "glad") och "queer" (t o m om det betyder "konstig"/"sällsam") har också försvunnit härifrån.

När det gäller figurer som inte är västerländska ser vi detsammaFor example, a character "hopping about like a dervish" in Fantastic Mr Fox became "hopping about like a frog".

Alla referenser till könsroller har också tagits bort, och häftiga förolämpningar har tonats ner, t ex om Fru Slusk: some insults directed at women were often softened (such as "ugly old cow" becoming "ghastly old shrew" in The Twits). 

The word fat was regularly removed, being replaced with terms such as enormous or large, as were references to short height and similar descriptions. References to characters being old was sometimes altered or removed.

The words crazy, lunatic, and mad, along with similar words, were regularly removed, as were some descriptions of low intelligence and mental disorders, such as removing a line from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory about a character being "shut up in some disgusting sanatorium". References to physical deformity or disability, including blindness, muteness, deafness, etc. were also commonly removed or altered.

References to lack of privilege were sometimes altered, such as removing a description of Sophie as "a little orphan of no real importance in the world" from The BFG.

References to poor personal hygiene were often removed, while some references to drinking alcohol and smoking were also changed. In Fantastic Mr Fox, Small Fox sniffs a bottle of cider rather than taking a sip, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's Oompa-Loompas are no longer described as "drunk as lords" on butterscotch and soda.

Other changes focused on violence. Comic references to violence were sometimes removed, and references to corporal punishment were changed. Mentions of deadly weapons such as guns and knives were often removed.

References to slaves and prisoners were removed, and certain references to death were removed.

Other changes focused on words that in British English usage have taken on more vulgar associations, such as horny and fanny.

Language related to weight, mental health, violence, gender and race has been cut and rewritten. Remember the Cloud-Men in James and the Giant Peach? They are now the Cloud-People. The Small Foxes in Fantastic Mr Fox are now female. In Matilda, a mention of Rudyard Kipling has been cut and Jane Austen added. It’s Roald Dahl, but different.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/02/17/roald-dahl-books-rewritten-offensive-matilda-witches-twits/


jueves, 30 de marzo de 2017

LA BELLE & LA BÊTE - MMXVII

The first we got to see in autumn last year were some celebrities' names and this crimson rose in a frosted dome (reminiscent of both B&tB and The Snow Queen); details that already got me excited and waiting for springtime. And it has truly felt like a long awaited springtime after an endless winter, to borrow a metaphor from the film itself!

Tale as old as time, true as it can be... I had been waiting until the musical version of the French fairytale that awoke my passion for literature should be brought to the live action format and hoped that said version would not disappoint me. It has not... rather, the whole film, which I have watched this evening, has taken my breath and heartbeat away. It's not a film, it's a MAGNUM OPUS. The setting, the songs, the costumes, the unexpected twists... And this is the reason why I have decided to consecrate a review to it right here and right now... detailing all the things I have adored about this version: loose ends cleared up, animated scenes brilliantly rendered into live action, and some Easter eggs one needs real passion for literature in general and the Bard in particular, like that of Belle and her Beast, to discover!


The all-star cast: Already when it was revealed in autumn last year, it filled me with elation upon seeing a roster full of stars of both the 1990s and the present day, most of which I knew from other films and even from Shakespeare, recreating the tale as old as time. To quote the most relevant, and the ones that made me squee the most and wait the most for springtime, here are they:

  • Emma Watson --Hermione Granger-- as Belle
  • Dan Stevens --Matthew Crawley-- as the Master (Beast/Prince)
  • Luke Evans --Dracula-- as Gaston
  • Joshua Gad --Olaf, the happy snowman-- as Lefou
  • Kevin Kline --the young man in A Fish Called Wanda, Nick Bottom, Captain Phoebus-- as Maurice (Papa)
  • Sir Ewan McGregor --Obi-Wan Kenobi, Christian James, Iago-- as Lumière
  • Sir Ian McKellen --Henry V, Iago, Gandalf-- as Henry Cogsworth
  • Dame Emma Thompson --Beatrice, Sybil Trelawney, Nanny McPhee, Captain Amelia Smollett-- as Beatrice Potts

Seeing those scenes come alive
The old rose-seller revealing herself as a fairy, turning the prince into a beast and the courtiers into objects. Belle walking past the chickens and getting dissed by the other villagers. Belle taking her leave of her papa. The Master Beast capturing Maurice after he's picked that rose. Belle returning Romeo and Juliet to the priest (instead of Jack and the Beanstalk to the librarian!). Belle giving Gaston the axe. The triplets fawning over Gaston. Chip blowing bubbles for Belle. The Master and Belle at first mistrusting one another. Mme. de Garderobe decking Belle in uncomfortable court dress. Belle befriending Lumière, and the extravagant feast for both the lips and the eyes that he prepares for her. The Master saving a runaway Belle from a pack of wolves. Belle nursing the Master back to health. Belle and the Master enjoying the wintry garden, the library, finding a common interest in literature and realising they have both found a well-read kindred spirit with a decent education as a springboard for the fact that there's something there. The snowball fight in the royal gardens, Belle discarding her spoon and drinking soup from the plate like her beau. That dance, both lovers getting prepared for the ballroom; her golden gown and his cobalt blue overcoat. Gaston in scarlet mess uniform drowning his sorrows in the tavern and Lefou bragging about his accomplishments to all the others. Belle scrying into the mirror to find her papa in distress. The Master letting Belle go and regretting it, feeling as if she would betray him. Belle and Maurice locked in the Maison des Lunes carriage and finally escaping. The storming of the castle. Mme. de Garderobe singing her solo as she throws herself down a ledge. Gaston treacherously striking the Master down in the back, and then falling to his death from a parapet. The Master dying in Belle's arms, suddenly disenchanted, as well as all the objects... and that final dance that crowns it all. Seeing all of these scenes take place in live action is astounding, and besides it has also awakened old memories within me...

Winter in the palace grounds
The fairy's spell, aside from enchanting the prince and courtiers, trapped the palace grounds in an endless winter (mirroring the Master's icy heart), while the seasons change in the outside world. This lends the gardens and windows a magical air as well as frosting the rose dome (as seen in this review's title card): each time a petal falls, the frost advances, the château crumbles, and the courtiers-turned-objects become a little more rigid. Springtime does not come until Belle's tears of true love bring on the disenchantment... and it's a truly magical scene, seeing the courtiers change back and make peace with the villagers as the thaw and the warmth finally arrive!

The setting: Villeneuve and the Château de la Bête come alive
Both the quaint village and the magnificent baroque castle/palace we have come to associate with the tale feel like real places. The wintry royal gardens, the well-assorted library, the washer where the village women gather to wash their clothes and gossip, the all-male local school (Belle is chided for teaching a washergirl literacy!), Belle's cozy workshop home in Villeneuve and her lovely bedchamber with a canopy bed... the dragons that flank the entrance staircase... it all feels so lifelike that we are as shuttled into this eighteenth-century world of the French Enlightenment as Belle is to her birthplace of Montmartre using the magic portal book!
The period costumes --for courtiers and villagers, men and women, adults and children alike-- are extremely detailed and add even more excitement and aesthetic pleasure to the immersive eighteenth-century experience that is watching this film!!

Gaston the officer (and General Cogsworth!)
Of course, what would a good early modern period piece be without some men in uniform? Specifically (influenced certainly by the lieutenant who led the hunt for the Bête de Gévaudan!), Gaston is stated to be a military officer with the rank of captain and Lefou under his command during both wartime and peacetime, most surely as his orderly (officer's personal valet). The queued macho, implied to have deflowered women during wartime, gets to wear both his field and mess uniform (the former a café au lait brown with scarlet facings, the latter his trademark scarlet brocade coat!) during the course of the film. Luke Evans implies that his character is suffering from PTSD and putting off a miles gloriosus façade before the villagers, as their local homegrown war hero, to conceal all he has suffered during the wars he has fought in.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Whatever Gaston experienced during the war has greatly influenced his present-day behavior. He treats everything as a military campaign and Lefou would often have to calm his anger by reminding him of the glorious battles. And when Gaston decides to tie up Maurice to a tree and be left to the wolves, the way he describes the scenario suggests that some of his experiences were not all that glorious as he likes to boast.
  • Glory Days: The war was this for him. His military background is implied to have shaped Gaston's ego and personality. According to Luke Evans, Gaston suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and tries to hide it with his popularity and big ego, and when he doesn't get what he wants, his aggressive military persona takes over.
Besides, Cogsworth in object form is a table clock decked with military accoutrements like swords and cannons, and, during the storming of the castle, he acts like a real strategist. When his human form post-disenchantment was revealed, it was (as I suspected) an aged general, with an epauletted coat rife with medals and a monocle on his left eye, wearing a kaiser moustache that looks like the hands of his clock form. Some of his carving reflects the hair and epaulets of his human form, and said human form has Roman numerals on his buttons, like his clock markings, and an uneven mustache like his clock hands. Just imagine Sir Ian McKellen in a period uniform, with a kaiser moustache. The sole appearance of this human Cogsworth reminded me of his Iago in Trevor Nunn's Othello, but as a general instead of a non-commissioned officer! So, is this some kind of wish fulfillment? (For another Shakespearean actor allusion, aside from the equivalent one relating to Mrs. Potts, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this review!)

Lefou (and Stanley) out of the closet
I always had a pair of hunches about Lefou. This version certainly confirms them. That he's illiterate, but especially that he's gay and hangs around Gaston due to a feeling stronger than admiration or even bromance. The pudgy boy henchman in this live action film flaunts Gaston in a queer tone during the tavern song, and he most often wears his shoulder-long hair loose instead of tied up in a queue. The fact that both of them met in the military, and Lefou was most likely to be the manly man Gaston's orderly, is the perfect springboard for such feelings.
Fire-Forged Friends:
  • With Gaston. They fought in the war together, and their close relationship is part of the reason Lefou is mostly oblivious to Gaston's cruelty.
  • Ignored Enamoured Underling: He's this to Gaston in this adaptation.
  • Ironic Name:
    • Le Fou translates to "The Fool", but in this incarnation he's actually the more sensible of the two.
    • It could be ironic in a completely different way - Le Fou also translates to 'madman' and in late 1700s France, any man who admitted to an attraction to other men was considered mad.
Too bad his beloved commanding officer is straight (aside from a total coward and a scoundrel).
  • Later Lefou became fire-forged friends with Mrs. Potts. When he saves her from a height, they work together to defeat the villagers, befriending each other in the process; also to the point where Lefou confides to Mrs. Potts about his problems with Gaston, in which she comforts him by saying that he's too good for Gaston anyways.
  • Love Makes You Evil: Maybe not "evil," but his feelings for Gaston allow him to be complicit in his scheming and to turn a blind eye to some of Gaston's nastier qualities. However, this is subverted, as Everyone Has Standards. Once Gaston threatens to have Lefou committed, and uses him as a human shield, Lefou comes to his senses and switches sides, ditching Gaston for good.
  • Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: He was already growing increasingly uneasy about Gaston's actions, but after Gaston uses him as a human shield and leaves him without helping him, Lefou officially switches sides. Lampshaded, when he comments to Mrs. Potts, "I used to be on Gaston's side, but we're so in a bad place right now."
During the storming of the Château de la Bête, Mrs. Potts told him "you're too good for him" for a good reason; as soprano Mme. de Garderobe attacked a trio of young villagers by wrapping them in court ladies' wigs and petticoats. While two of them were frightened upon seeing their reflections in de Garderobe's mirror, the third one, in pink, squeals like a little girl in delight, and gives Mme. de Garderobe a "thank you" smile before happily strutting off.
Right after the disenchantment, right after his commanding officer had plummeted to his death from that shattered parapet, during the ball, Lefou ditches his female partner and takes Stanley --the man who had liked wearing pink petticoats--, who had also ditched his lady and taken him out to dance with each other; these two were literally made for each other, and one of them needed (may I make a visual pun) coming out of the closet for this romance to blossom! Definitely, yet another gay OTP right when I expected it the least! SQUEEEE!!!
To start with, Lefou acts as a voice of reason for Gaston, whenever he tries to do (and eventually does) questionable deeds; as Gaston slowly becomes more deranged than usual, Lefou is shown struggling between his loyalty to him and his moral conscience. Finally, when Gaston used him as a Human Shield and leaves him to die, Lefou finally turns against him and performs Heel–Face Turn to save Mrs. Potts' life, and even wholeheartedly joins the servants in fighting off the villagers after being comforted by her words.
Lefou is gay in this version of Disney's take on the story, with the unintentional Ho Yay present in the animated movie being actual Homoerotic Subtext here. Interestingly, this makes the character Disney's first official LGBT character in a work based on their animated canon.
Near the end of the film, when Gaston uses Lefou as a human shield to save himself, he realizes Gaston's true ugly nature and renounces his ties to him.
  • While initially callous and belligerent like his friends, it can be assumed that this was a façade for Stanley to try and blend in with Tom and Dick and to hide his insecurity regarding his (implied) sexual preference which would have been extremely unacceptable in those days. Upon being dressed up in a glamorous pink ballgown, he immediately makes a Heel–Face Turn out of gratefulness at being put into clothes that he feels more comfortable being in. He also attends the ball hosted by Belle and the Prince at the end of the film, which suggests that he is now on good terms with Belle... and especially Lefou! <3 <3 <3 
  • Pair the Spares: Lefou ends up dancing with Stanley, the villager who seemed to enjoy being Dragged into Drag by Madame de Garderobe.
  • Ship Tease: Has this at the end when he dances with Stanley, hinting at developing feelings between the two.
  • Straight Gay: Occasional over-the-top dramatics and nerdy physique aside, Lefou doesn't really display any stereotypical gay behavior. He's even an ex-soldier in this version!
  • UnderstatementAfter he switches sides, Lefou comments to Mrs. Potts that he and Gaston are "so in a bad place right now". This is clearly understating that Gaston threatened to have him institutionalized for protesting, used him as a Human Shield, and left him for dead.
  • Ship Tease: Stanley has this at the end when he dances with Lefou, hinting at developing feelings between the two. He is briefly seen happily dancing with a woman until Stanley cuts in, much to his awe. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

What ever happened to their missing loved ones? The live action film confirms:
Belle's maman (mum): Died of the plague in Montmartre, when Belle was but months old. That's why she cannot remember (It took a trip to Paris with a magic book in the Château library to find out).
The royal couple (the prince's parents): the Queen died of the same plague that took Belle's mum, while her crowned husband forced the heartbroken boy prince to grow up (Frederick-William-style parenting implied). Remember that in the family portrait, the Beast has clawed at the King's face, but the Queen remains intact? Mrs. Potts: When the Master lost his mother, and his cruel father took that sweet innocent lad, and twisted him up to be just like him... we did nothing.
Mr. Potts: unlike the other missing parents above, he is alive and well, living in Villeneuve all along until the court and village make peace in the end and his wife and child are disenchanted. There is also a Mrs. Cogsworth: that unpleasant Breton shrew that made her uniformed husband wish he were a clock once more!

Beauty and the Bard
This Belle is not only well-read passionate about literature: she's an outright bardolater, her favourite play being Romeo and Juliet. She also quotes sonnets in the wintry palace gardens. The Beast is revealed to be equally-well read, having had an expensive education, and to share a favourite author with her, even making a little pun about the fact that some of the library books are in Greek (referencing "it's all Greek to me!"). Furthermore, the interior of Mme. de Garderobe's upper cabinet which also serves as her face looks like a miniature stage, with curtains, lights, and what appear to be tiny seats. (Considering that she is a primadonna as a human, with a massive ribcage to give her that singing voice, it's no surprise that she became a wardrobe!)

First names revealed (and more Shakespearean Easter eggs!)
When reunited with their estranged spouses, the châtelaine is revealed to be named Beatrice Potts, while the general's full name is Henry Cogsworth. And I just squeed like Belle when first entering the palace library: I recognized actor allusions to Dame Emma Thompson's famous role in Much Ado about Nothing and a young Sir Ian McKellen having played the title role in Henry V (another story with military men and royals set in France) once or twice in his younger years!
This may have something to do with the fact that this film was shot in the UK in 2016 and many of the leading cast (not only Obi-Ewan, Kline, McKellen, and Emma Thompson, but those who played the leading characters' deceased parents as well) are thespians with a Shakespearean background...

lunes, 27 de julio de 2015

MY ANGIOLINA DREAMCAST

My dreamcast for Angiolina, a favourite fantasy novella by Josep Feliu i Codina, should the story ever be filmed:

Angiolina: Natalia Tena.




The Mediterranean and lively Tena, AKA Osha or Tonks, has got the power, the zest, and the tomboyishness I would seek in the humble-born heroine of this tale. Even if she becomes emotionally cold due to heart replaced with ball of algae syndrome, she will still remain as badass as always. In my story, she would have a more active role than the damselling she is subject to in Feliu i Codina's tale.


Virginia: Lily James.



She has already been orphaned and left at the mercy of scheming guardians in another 'verse, still keeping her chin up against all odds. The lovely Austrian blonde, a part Lily would fit into like a glove, develops from emotional coldness to passion, in an inverse direction to her foil in the story. I would love to see Lily as Virginia interact with Robb Stark... Madden once more as well, as with Charles Dance and with Matt Lewis... The whole failed courtship scene would be the crowner of her performance, to show that she's no ordinary damsel, but steel concealed in silk. And yes, like Angiolina, she would have a more active role.



The part of Virginia could also fit Alicia Vikander.


Viscount Achile: Richard Madden.



THE KING IN THE NORTH!
AKA Prince Charming. Actually, a bit of Robb Stark and a bit of Kit Charmont would be worked into the portrait of a seductive and epicurean, dashing heartbreaker who has finally met his Waterloo. A suave lordling as foil to Genaro, this part would be ideal for Madden to display a wistful streak of suavity and panache fused with the serious streak of Robb and Kit's "fairy tale prince" romantic streak, all together.


Genaro: Matthew David Lewis.
Pudgy, awkward Neville has unfolded into a stalwart and well-shaped badass, ideal for playing the more masculine and rougher commoner foil and frenemy of the Viscount, and childhood friend/lover of Angiolina. I would also love to see Matty saved by Lily from drowning and develop feelings for the defrosted ice queen, and I would love seeing them together as lovers, as he realizes whom he truly loves.


The part of Genaro could also fit Eddie Redmayne (thinking mostly of his role as Marius).


Joseph: Charles Dance.


The villain of the piece was the first character I thought of (with Bonham-Carter and Lily James) for this dreamcast. "You don't want a call from Dance in the middle of the night." As Tywin and as Mr.
Tulkinghorn, he truly fits into the role of lawful evil schemer. I thought of a rather Tywinesque performance, in interaction with his ward/bride and servants... id est, until, as a result of a plan gone ironically wrong, he is reborn as a septuagenarian child. Letting down his hair completely, being more than slightly eccentric, he would surprise the audience in a most unexpected way...


Marcellina: Helena Bonham-Carter.



Charles Dance with Bonham-Carter for a henchwoman/assistant? They would be great as foils to one another! In fact, the failed courtship and the heart transplantation were the first scenes I thought of... Straitlaced Dance and wistful Bonham-Carter (themselves as Tywin/Tulkinghorn and Mrs. Lovett/Mme. Thénardier)... until his literal change of heart, after which they would unexpectedly switch roles...


Suzanna: Emma Thompson.

For a nanny confidante like Juliet Capulet's has to be best friend material and mentor at the same time. Emma, known as Beatrice, Miss Trelawney, and most importantly NANNY MC PHEE, and also as MRS. POTTS, with that British eccentric streak, would be ideal and get along excellently with Lily as her young ward and best friend at once.
PS. She'll also make an excellent Mrs. Potts in this Christmas remake of Beauty and the Beast!


Paolo: Sacha Baron Cohen.


Casting Angiolina's nearly always cheerful single dad was the hardest nut to crack until I remembered Monsieur Thénardier and Adolfo Pirelli. "Aha!", I thought. Such a character used for comic relief and as foil to the cold usurper Joseph could only be played by a quirky and lively, full of joie de vivre and panache Baron Cohen, as opposed to a stern and calculating Charles Dance. And Tena as his daughter on screen would be über-credible.


Lorenzo: Peter Dinklage.
Virginia's misshapen (and friendzoned) mirror-maker suitor could only be played by none other than Tyrion Lannister, also a physically challenged yet clever outsider yearning for love and recognition.


Fairy of Algae/Fairy of the Lagoon/Sybil of the Cavern: Cate Blanchett.




Gentle as Galadriel, strong as Elizabeth, scheming as Lady Tremaine, sinister as Hela: all the faces of Cate would gladly be reflected in all three members of the fair folk who appear in this tale, making her display more than one facet in her triple role. Strong!Cate would be her portrayal as the languid and Ophelia-like, yet surprisingly serious Fairy of Algae. The widowed Lady Tremaine who schemes towards power, with some hint of this winter's Hela, would be the Fairy of the Lagoon, and the oracular, wise Galadriel would be reborn as the Sybil of the Cavern.

martes, 11 de marzo de 2014

GUSTAVUS ADOLPHUS SWINBORNE DREAMCAST


Should the Swinborne poem get filmed, this would be, in my opinion, the star-studded cast:

  • Alexander Skarsgârd as Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden


  • Cate Blanchett (Galadriel) as Mary Eleanor of Sweden
  • Alicia Vikander (Gerda) as Hilda


  • Dan Stevens (Matthew Crawley) as Erik


  • Richard Madden (Robb Stark) as Rudolf 
  • Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister) as Jean 't Serclaes, Count of Tilly 
  • Colin Farrell as Albrecht von Wallenstein 
  • Luke Evans as Gottfried Heinrich, Count of Pappenheim


  • Russell Crowe as Axel Oxenstierna 

  • Kenneth Branagh as Johan Banér 


  • Stellan Skarsgård as Lord Friedrich of Traubeneck (father to Hilda and Rudolf) 
  • Emma Thompson as Oma Gertraud (grandmother to Hilda and Rudolf) 
  • Helena Bonham-Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange, Mme. Thénardier, Fairy Godmother) as Lorelei 
  • Mark Addy (Robert Baratheon) as the Elector of Saxony
  • Jason Isaacs (Lucius Malfoy) as the Elector of Brandenburg 
  • Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister) as Kaiser Ferdinand II 

  • Stephen Dillane (Stannis Baratheon) as Guillaume Lamormaini, the Kaiser's Confessor 
Don't forget to check out the poem here: https://archive.org/details/gustavusadolphus00swinrich or here: https://archive.org/details/cu31924013555648