Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta animated musical. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta animated musical. Mostrar todas las entradas

martes, 17 de enero de 2023

DESINTOXICARSE

 DESINTOXICARSE,

o

UNA JORNADA MUSICAL EN EL CENTRO BETTY FORD

Ganadora del Annie por Súmmum Individual en Producción Animada Televisiva y del Emmy por Súmmum Individual en Música y Letras (ambos premios en 1998)

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ACTO PRIMERO

Un juzgado, en Los Ángeles

Juez:

¿Cómo declaran al acusado?

Miembra del Jurado:

Culpable de exhibicionismo indecente…

Miembro del Jurado 1º:

Conducta desviante crónica y reciente…

Jurado:

Tenencia de drogas, conducción ebria…

Miembro del Jurado 2º:

Él escribió diez hojas, ésto es la primera.

Juez:

Tendrías que estar entre rejas, facineroso,

pero esto es L.A.

y eres rico y famo-o-o-oso…

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ACTO SEGUNDO

El Centro Betty Ford

Drogadicto:

¡Me vengo a

desintoxicar!

Personal del Centro:

Se viene a

desintoxi-toxicar…

Drogadicto:

¡No más píldoras ni alcohol!

¡No más hierba o demerol!

¡Nada más de diversión!

(Pausa)

¡Me vengo a

desintoxicar!

Personal y Pacientes del Centro:

Se viene a

desintoxi-toxicar…

Enfermero 1º:

¡Nada más de palidez!

Enfermero 2º:

¡Ni hormigueos esta vez! (Le saca al Drogadicto la aspirina del bolsillo y la arroja lejos)

Drogadicto:

¡Mi aspirina, no, pardiez!

Personal y Pacientes del Centro:

¡Tírala!

¡Te desintoxicaré!

¡DETENGAN EL PLANETA DE LOS SIMIOS!

 ¡DETENGAN EL PLANETA DE LOS SIMIOS!

(¡ME QUIERO BAJAR!)

PROTAGONIZADO POR TROY MC CLURE


ACTO PRIMERO

Gorila 1º:

¡Socorro! ¡El humano se está dando a la fuga!

Astronauta:

¡Quítame de encima esas manos simiescas y sucias!

Orangutanes:

¡Puede hablar! ¡Puede hablar!

¡Puede hablar! ¡Puede hablar!

¡Puede hablar! ¡Puede hablar!

Astronauta:

¡Y cantar!

Enfermera Chimpancé:

¡Socorro, doctor Zeus!

Orangutanes:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Ohh, doctor Zeus!

Orangután 1º:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

Astronauta:

¿Qué pasa conmigo?

Dr. Zeus:

¡Estás chiflado!

Astronauta:

¡Quiero más opiniones!

Dr. Zeus:

¡También eres vago!

Orangutanes:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Ohh, doctor Zeus!

Orangután 1º:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

Astronauta:

¿Podré tocar el piano

cada día?

Dr. Zeus:

¡Por supuesto que sí!

Astronauta:

Antes no podía… (Traen un piano, y toca una escala.)

Orangutanes:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Ohh, doctor Zeus!

Orangután 1º:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

Orangutanes:

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Doctor Zeus, doctor Zeus!

¡Ohh, doctor Zeus!

*********************************

ACTO SEGUNDO

Astronauta:

Odio a los simios que puedo ver,

de la chimpan-a a la chimpan-zeta,

no, yo el último mono no seré…

(Pausa, mientras surgen monumentos terrícolas en ruinas.)

¡Oh, pardiez! ¡Craso error!

¡En la Tierra sigo yo!

Sí, soy el último mono…

Orangután 1º:

Eres el último mono…

Astronauta y Coro de Simios:

Sí, soy el último mono y lo seré…

Astronauta:

¡TE QUIERO, DOCTOR ZEUS!

viernes, 10 de agosto de 2018

DECEIVED (OTHELLO, DISNEYFIED)

#OthElokuu



So I began thinking to myself: what if Disney Pictures or a similar studio had adapted Othello as an animated musical?
I went around the subplot for a little while before I began to brainstorm what things would be like if my favourite Shakespearean tragedy were adapted for the silver screen one Christmas in the vein of those animated fairytale films...




All right, this is a fanart made with a dollmaker of the cast of Othello as I saw them in a dream, and this is how I see them in Deceived (though Roderigo would wear spectacles!).
Left to right: Bianca, Cassio, Othello, Desdemona, Emilia, Iago, and Roderigo.

First things first, the adaptation would have a gender-neutral (at least in English and in Scandinavian languages) adjective title to draw in viewers of all ages and of every gender. Think Tangled, or Frozen, or the sadly shelved Gigantic (one minute of silence...). The most likely title, and the one we have settled for to refer to the unlikely Othello adaptation in this article, is Deceived. (It's not only for that; it's also because the story, as we will see, is an ensemble piece and will draw more attention to the Cassio and Bianca subplot, as we shall later see).
Next up, the historical setting; for every Disney fairytale musical has to be a Period Piece. And I would settle, mainly for the military uniforms and the female fashion in vogue, for Deceived to have a setting inspired by the Regency or Napoleonic era, ie the first decades of the nineteenth century. All right, I know The Little Mermaid Trilogy, or at least the quarter of it that is set on land, is said to be inspired by that same period; but looking at the dress waists of the human female characters in that saga, they are lower waist-height waists that look more post-Congress of Vienna (1820s) than empire waists that were in fashion in the times called Regency/Napoleonic proper. Which would give us at least one puffy-sleeved, high-waisted gown for Desdemona (the wedding gown would be something like Princess Serenity in Sailor Moon)! So this would maybe be the missing Disney Period Piece set in the 1800s or 1810s, right?
There is no animated fairytale film without any enchantment, and here the answer to the quandary would be really straightforward: namely that the handkerchief Othello gave Desdemona as an engagement gift, and which had been passed on from husband to wife and from mother to eldest son for generations, is really magical in Deceived. There has to be some backstory; something like the tribal leader/"king" of that village society where Othello was born of centuries ago went to war and his anxious favourite wife consulted the local priestess, who encouraged her to have all of her younger virgin co-wives (taken prisoner from other conquered societies) poisoned and due for sacrifice, in order to obtain the dye for the thread used to embroider the berries on the handkerchief, so that the husband would get this gift as a lucky charm, literally embroidered with his wife's love in every stitching. So there is both a blessing and a curse passed on through this two-edged weapon. As Othello's mother is killed before his eyes during the raid from the European-style realm, she gives it to the boy while protecting him, telling him that someday he will find another one who will treat him with love. Of course Deceived would debunk the myth of "true love" between straight fiancés as much as let's say Frozen, right?
As we have said before, a lot more of attention would be given to the Cassio & Bianca subplot. The innocent young lieutenant and the world-weary, savvy barmaid/performer, something like Phoebus and Esmeralda but as adolescents, would be the focal point of this adaptation. Of course in the end of Deceived, Cassio would lose the use of one leg and have to renounce to his military career, but that would also mean that, after going through the stages of grief with Bianca's help, he could settle down as a civilian scholar on the family estate with his beloved, whether as husband and wife or in cohabitation.
Of course, if we had to tone down Bianca into an Esmeralda-style figure, we'll have to add the character of the "madam," as much of a canon foreigner here as Roderigo was in Shakespeare's source material. Madame Lotta de Rière is the guardian of Bianca, her older sister Kate Katherine, thrown in as a subplot-reference to Taming of the Shrew, and a lot more orphan girls (and the occasional orphan boy), aside from the local tavernkeeper who employs and exploits all of them to earn money for herself; something like Madame Thénardier crossed over with Frau Gothel. Physically imposing, more like Mme. Thénardier, but possessive of her wards and deceptively sweet like Gothel, whose skills as a herbalist she also shares. Of course Lotta is also in cahoots with Iago, who has convinced her that he can make her keep Bianca -just like he has cajoled Roderigo into thinking that he will have Desdemona for himself-, and a lynchpin in the first fight scene...
Which brings us to how the first fight scene could be done with a fight on guard duty and a mind-altered lieutenant's shenanigans, but without any drunken consumption -we cannot have our innocent twenty-something hero get wasted, can we?-. The most reasonable solution would be to replace the liquor with a psychotropic draught, something like datura (or maybe a fantastic drug like my own creation witsbane), with which to lace his drink of lemonade behind his back ;) . Like, Iago tries to tempt Cassio into getting wasted on duty, Shakespeare style, he admits he's thirsty but also that he has to stay sober for the upcoming changing of the guard, so both of them agree that only one lemonade with friends like Roderigo and other officers... it's either Lotta or one of Bianca's foster siblings (the latter most likely) serving the lemonade... voilà! The same effects ensue, without him even getting drunk -shenanigans, a fight on duty, hazy memories, the fabrication of Cassio being the real culprit...-, so that the rest of Iago's plan can unfurl equally smoothly.
Speaking of Iago's plan, the next thing that must be said about this adaptation is that everyone survives, except Iago, who falls down the fortress rampart and the cliff, into the breakers underneath, as he is pursued by Othello's soldiers. Even Othello saves Desdemona with some unwitting CPR, as he pushes desperately upon her chest in vain to try to reanimate her... and at first despairs after a while... then tries to give her a kiss on the icy cold lips, as he sheds tears upon her face... -Cue everyone's tissues ready in this heartwarming moment!-.
Of course, what is a Disney story without some adorable pets to inspire plushies and fanart? And here, the idea of seldom-seen species crops up for a while when it comes to picking the mascots of Deceived. Since this story is more realistic, we shall have pets which only speak the language of their species and can only interact with people through body language (just like the pets in Pocahontas, Rapunzel's Pascal, Vaiana's piggy and rooster...). I am thinking of Bianca having a female gerbil or hamster with golden fur, which she can confide in, and with a name like Peridot or Miette (Crumb in French) or Étincelle (Spark in French). There is also talk of Cassio and/or Othello having a horse, a fair-furred mare in Cassio's case and/or a black stallion in Othello's, that plays a major part in the story, as most named steeds have done in Disneydom.
Finally, what is a good animated musical without the songs that make it worthwhile to watch and listen to? Deceived would surely include the following musical numbers:

  • A love duet (which would be a counterpoint for Othello/Desdemona and Cassio/Bianca? And it could have a dark Iagothello reprise when Othello falls out of love, that would double at some points as BSOD song for the broken general!).
  • A melancholy musical number/BSOD song for Desdemona in her bedtime scene, I Dreamed a Dream or Very Good Advice-style.
  • One or two villain songs for Iago, similar to his Creed, drinking song, temptation song... in the Verdian opera (with at least one dark reprise / duet with Othello, just oozing queer subtext).
  • A One Day More-style showstopper at the climax.
  • An I want song about Roderigo's unrequited love for Desdemona.
  • A secondary villain song about Lotta's attitude towards Bianca and the other orphans (something in between Masters of the House and Mother Knows Best).
  • A song for Cassio when he loses his rank to express how much he wants to be an officer and the quandary he is in about his reinstatement.
  • Score and lyrics overall influenced by those of the Verdian opera.
PS. The wenches at Mme. de Rière's, sans Kate and Bianca de Bâcle:
Randy Candy-Kayne (the one guy, a "queen" for deviant officers), Bunny Galore, Polly Esther (a classic), Silky Skynne, Priscilla Christina Teane ("Pris Teane"), Sally IV ("the Fourth"), Lacie Drawers, Penny Dreadful, Rose Thorn, Missy Link, Gwen O'Vere, Lolita Fascio, "Vagina" Lynn Fekshun, Enna Gerda Davida, Anne Gina Pectoris.
PS. Madame de Rière looks like a cross between Jabba the Hutt and Bellatrix Lestrange/Mme. Thénardier.

miércoles, 26 de octubre de 2016

KICKIN' IT

This post is a sequel to "Stop the Planet of the Apes", which I published earlier this month.
In said post, I broke the ice with the following intro:

I just said to myself one day not long ago... "I have to post the lyrics to this musical theatre parody (the first of its kind in The Simpsons, followed by Kickin' It and King of the Cats) for any dear Rambles readers who want to do at least an audio version of this impressive show:

Well, larvae of all stages, adolescents of every gender, here is Kickin' It, also known to me by its Castilian title Desintoxicarse. Set in 1990s Los Angeles, the plot focuses on the rehabilitation of a young drug-addicted media star. Idem eadem idem as for Stop the Planet of the Apes: any of you can at least record the audio version if you remember the tunes (if not, there is always YouTube).




KICKIN' IT

A MUSICAL JOURNEY THROUGH THE BETTY FORD CENTRE



SCENE THE FIRST: A COURTROOM


Judge:
How do you find the defendant?
Female Juror:
He's guilty of mayhem, exposure indecent...
First Male Juror:
Freaked-out behavior both chronic and recent...
Ensemble (Jury):
Drinking and driving, narcotics posession...
Second Male Juror:
And that's just page one of this ten-page confession.
Judge:
I should put you away where you can't kill or maim us,
but this is L.A. and you're rich and fa-a-a-amous...


SCENE THE SECOND: THE BETTY FORD CENTRE
Drug Addict:
I'm checkin' in!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff):
He's checkin' in.
Drug Addict:
I'm checkin' in!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff):
Checkin', checkin' in.
Drug Addict:
No more pills or alcohol,
no more pot or demerol,
no more stinkin' fun at all!
(Pause.)
I'm checkin' in!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff and Patients):
He's checkin' in.
He's checkin' in.
Male Nurse I:
No more lookin' pale and thin...
Male Nurse II:
No more bugs beneath your skin...
Drug Addict:
Hey, that's just my aspirin!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff):
Chuck it out!
Ensemble (Betty Ford Staff and Patients):
You're checki-i-i-in' i-in!



And now, FYI: The musical number, in real life (outside the show, on our side of the fourth wall), won both an Annie award for Outstanding Individual Achievement for Music in an Animated Television Production and an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics in 1998.

domingo, 23 de octubre de 2016

STOP THE PLANET OF THE APES

STOP THE PLANET OF THE APES
(I WANT TO GET OFF!)

(Starring Troy MacClure)


I just said to myself one day not long ago... "I have to post the lyrics to this musical theatre parody (the first of its kind in The Simpsons, followed by Kickin' It and King of the Cats) for any dear Rambles readers who want to do at least an audio version of this impressive show:


ACT THE FIRST
Gorilla 1:
Help, the human's about to escape!
Troy:
Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!
Gorilla 2:
(gasps) He can talk!
Orangutans:
He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk!
He can talk! He can talk!
Troy:
I can siiii-iii-iii-iiing!
Chimp Nurse:
Ooh, help me, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy:
What's wrong with me?
Dr. Zaius:
I think you're crazy!
Troy:
Want a second opinion!
Dr. Zaius:
You're also lazy!
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Troy:
Can I play the piano 
anymore?
Dr. Zaius:
Of course you can!
Troy:
Well, I couldn't before!
(plays the piano)
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!
Orangutan 1:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Orangutans:
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!
Oh, Dr. Zaius!

ACT THE SECOND
Troy:
I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-ay to chimpan-zee...
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me.

(PAUSE.)
Oh, my gods, I was wrong:
It was Earth all along.
You finally made a monkey...
Orangutan 1:
Yes we finally made a monkey...
Troy and Apes:
Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me!
Troy:
I love you, Dr. Zaius!
(CURTAIN FALLS)

sábado, 2 de abril de 2016

THE LADLE AND THE BOWL AND THE LOCK AND THE KEY

THE LADLE AND THE BOWL AND THE LOCK AND THE KEY - A SPIRAL SATIRE

This fic is my open love letter to Gurren Lagann and to Michael Ende.
And to the dramatic works of William Shakespeare.
And to Gilbert & Sullivan's Savoy operas.
And to the Disney and Bluth 1990s animated musicals of my childhood.
It is an affectionate parody of all of them above, disguised as a musical with iambic pentameter and patter songs, a tempest of clichés from all of these genres (a pair of star-crossed lovers, a devious sissy villain, courtly and military intrigue, dramatic irony, the horrors of warfare, not to mention a dark fairy who got excluded from two christenings at once, to quote only some of them), and a slight satirical bent, which is a fusion/fairytale/royalty/wartime AU of an Ende fairytale with Gurren Lagann characters.
Pairings: mainly Gimmy/Darry (AU, they're not siblings); Simon/Nia; Rossiu/Kinon, Leeron/Simon and Leeron/Rossiu implied.


DRAMATIS PERSONAE

NEUTRAL AND DUPLICITOUS:
Kiyal Black as Herself, in the role of narrator
Yoko Littner as the Dark Fairy Magnificent
Leeron Littner as Lord Turncoat, Lieutenant and Head Advisor to the royals of the Left Kingdom/also as Lord Coatturn, Right-Hand Man and Head Advisor to the royals of the Right Kingdom (both of them being actually one and the same person).

IN THE RIGHT KINGDOM
Rossiu Adai as King Frederick
Kinon Black as Queen Winifred
Gimmy Adai as Crown Prince Dexter, their son and heir
Leeron Littner as Lord Coatturn, Right-Hand Man and Head Advisor to the royals of the Right Kingdom

IN THE LEFT KINGDOM
Simon Jiha as King William
Nia Teppelin as Queen Lillian
Darry Adai as Crown Princess Sinistra, their daughter and heir
Leeron Littner as Lord Turncoat, Lieutenant and Head Advisor to the royals of the Left Kingdom


PREMISE:
Once upon a time, there were two lands alike in dignity, separated by a common language. And by a narrow channel, more literally. One to the left and the other to the right of the straits.
Now it came to pass that both queens conceived, and brought their children to the light, at the same time. Yet, when it came to christen their respective heirs among much pride, pomp, and circumstance... both the royal couples forgot to invite a certain dark fairy (Now it was actually because, quite secretly, the right-hand man of one of the households burned her invitation, and the lieutenant of the other royals tore her invite to shreds: and both advisors were one and the same person, a wicked schemer whose aim was to anger the powerful fey and cause quite the stir...).
And thus it came to pass that the Dark Fairy Magnificent, appearing before both courts at the same time with her power of bilocation, gave the two royal children each a christening gift. To Prince Dexter she gave a lovely ladle with a key on its handle. To Princess Sinistra she gave a lovely soup serving bowl sealed with a padlock. To the parents of both children she said that, if the key entered the lock and the ladle entered the bowl, the result would be an endless soup, the most exquisite and nutritious, even slightly aphrodisiac, soup ever tasted.
And thus, envoys were sent by the rulers of both realms from land to land, seeking a matching ladle for the bowl with a matching key for the lock, and a matching bowl for the ladle with a matching lock for the key. And their quest was fruitless until, a decade later, Crown Prince Dexter met Crown Princess Sinistra, and Crown Princess Sinistra met Crown Prince Dexter. And, as they grew closer for each rendezvous at the stepping-stones of the old broken bridge, from acquaintances to friends and from friends to lovers, both of them learned of the existance of one another's christening gift. Everything was going as the fire-haired Dark Fairy, and as the right-hand man of the Right royals, and the lieutenant of the Left royals, who were one and the same person (wearing a black coat with lilac facings at the former court, and a lilac coat with black facings at the latter) had planned. Both households got to know, through their children, that what they sought lay just a strip of water ahead.
And soon, the tension between both realms would escalate into war, the prince and the princess subsequently becoming so-called star-crossed lovers... but could there be any hope?