Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta fairytale crossover. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta fairytale crossover. Mostrar todas las entradas

sábado, 11 de noviembre de 2023

CUALQUIER NOCHE PUEDE HABER SOL

 CUALQUIER NOCHE PUEDE HABER SOL

Original de Jaume Sisa

Traducción y versión de Sandra Dermark


Es noche clara y tranquila,

con luna llena que da luz,

les invitades ya llegan y

van llenando toda la sala

de perfume y de color...


Blancanieves, siete enanitos,

Lobo Feroz, los tres cerditos,

Bella y la Bestia, Aladín, Yasmín,

Simbad, Alí Babá, Gulliver,

Zipi y Zape y Sapientín.


Welcome, willkommen, bienvenides,

las penas vamos a desterrar,

que casa mía es casa nuestra

si hay casas de alguien al final.


Hola Jaimito, y doña Urraca,

Éric y sirenita Ariel,

Elsa Reina de las Nieves,

su hermana Anna, Peter Pan

y Campanilla y Wendy y 

Papá Noel y pato Donald

y criatura de Frankenstein.


Welcome, willkommen, bienvenides,

las penas vamos a desterrar,

que casa mía es casa nuestra

si hay casas de alguien al final.


Buenas noches, Astérix,

señor Obélix y Panorámix,

Tintín y Haddock, y Castafiore,

y señor profesor Tornasol,

Pinocho y Pepito Grillo,

y también Nils Holgersson.


Welcome, willkommen, bienvenides,

las penas vamos a desterrar,

que casa mía es casa nuestra

si hay casas de alguien al final.


Y a las doce llega ya

Cenicienta con Alicia,

Conejo Blanco, con Harry Potter,

acompañado de Ron y Hermione,

también Frodo, con Samsagaz y Gandalf,

además de Arwen y de su Aragorn.


Oh, bienvenides, pasad, pasad,

ahora ya no falta nadie, no,

o tal vez sí, ya me di cuenta

de que tan sólo faltas TÚ.

También puedes venir tú si quieres,

aquí hay lugar para muches más,

no cuenta el tiempo ni el espacio,

CUALQUIER NOCHE PUEDE HABER SOL.

martes, 10 de septiembre de 2019

SNOW QUEEN FAIRYTALE POEMS



Our poem from the archives this morning is "The Snow Queen" -- a wry, contemporary take on Kai's enthrallment to the Snow Queen from Gerda's point of view. (the author also explores this idea in "The Last Poem About the Snow Queen," from the collection Blood Pressure.)

The Snow Queen

You tell yourself he only left you for her
because of the wicked shard of glass in his eye,
but the truth is, every man wants an ice princess.
The truth is, you're too easy to get used to —
your sloppy warmth, the heat from your skin
fresh from the garden — it's too much for him.
He'd rather marvel at her tedious snowflakes,
caress her frosted hair, bask in that cold gaze,
that veneer of symmetry. So you wander
around town like an idiot, forgetting
even your shoes. The boys there
are all still in awe of her. "Did you see
that thing she was driving?" they keep asking.
You set off to bring him back, not thinking
you are the last person he wants to see.
"He's trapped in that ice castle," you murmur,
"He needs to be rescued." Dogged, you follow
the tiny shards of glass, and their sparkle.
And when you finally find him, dark with cold
from her brutal kisses, he doesn't even
recognize you. You stop blaming the shard
in his eye; how can you rescue a man
whose heart, transfixed by skeletal crystal,
craves the bruising of frost?

 How To Have Your Heart Broken

To love and lose a dear friend,
To follow his trail through perils
Adventures, to trek in ice and snow
To meet crows and outlaw girls and
Learn a queen of ice has him like
A toy. To find him and with quaking
Heart, try to release him.
My tears freeze and my choice
To hate is brushed away
As I see the sliver in the eye,
The cold woman and her lack
Of love. Oh to be a magician,
A girl with a wand, how my
Heart hopes it's warmth
Can make it all go away.


The robber girl has always made me sad, so I just wrote this, and will post it before I think better of it.

*
I gave her my reindeer
Who was all of my heart
The muff I kept and would imagine
Her hand holding mine
Within
My heart’s a tricky thing
Scarred
Not all my own doing
But I had to make my mark
Otherwise, who remembers me
Dark child of want
Who gave away her heart
To bear a white bird to her wyrd

She doesn’t like girls. She’s an ice queen, right?

It’s the boys she preys on. They can’t resist
the cold coquetry of her diamond gaze.
She leads, and they follow.
She tickles them under the chin, promising them power:
The world. Sweetmeats. A new pair of skates.
She doesn’t like girls. But watch her stalk
up the street, dragging her fur cloak through the slush:
showers of snow billowing past the gaslight,
to stoop, mother-tender
and smooth the little match-girl’s tangled hair
and tuck her up under a white blanket.


AFTER THE ICE QUEEN

Kai's eye was sore; yet what he saw was real.
He had no special gift for mundane life.
The Ice Queen's kisses cut him like a knife.
He climbed aboard her sledge. She does not steal
but knows her own. And leaves them on their own
to solve her icy puzzles. Find a way
to write eternity. Perhaps they pay
for wisdom with their death. All that is known
has costs. And Gerda's journey had its price,
ignored what flowers could tell her, cast aside
the robber girl and princess. Who both tried
but love no more than puzzles gives advice.
Gerda and Kai were happy. There deaths came
from boredom, every mundane day the same.

Kathleen dijo en respuesta a Roz Kaveney...

"Love no more than puzzles give advice" - such a lovely description of puzzles and characters both.


Cold

Kai,
I didn't follow you to save you from the queen,
or because I love you,
or to pluck the icy shard from your eye, your heart.
I came
because I have nothing better to do.
Ice froze my heart long before yours
and I've only been following you out of habit
for years.

From Kai to Gerda

Someone left the window open,
It's the only explanation
For this chilling ice, this deadly vice
That's gripping at my chest.
And if the sun was out, it'd melt it
And I'd forget I ever felt it
But I haven't seen the sun since it went down into the west.
Someone forgot to change the seasons.
They failed to set the clocks.
They stole the hours and left the flowers
Asleep beneath the rocks.
See I've got this crazy idea, and I think it's worth a try, dear-
I will melt the snow and break the cold and sing to bring back summer.
Summer, where did you go?
A year is too long, I miss you so.
Summer, so long ago.
Was there a summer? I just don't know.
We once picked each other roses.
Yours was yellow and mine was red.
Yellow roses are for dear friends,
But something more was in my head.
Pink roses say I thank you,
Violet- it happened at first sight.
White roses for you innocents 
And black roses say good-bye.
Yellow roses are for dear friends,
I guess that's the best that I could hope for,
But the red rose I hid behind my back
Meant a little something more.
Now there's fields of snow where nothing grows
And the roses are all dead,
But when I sing the summer back, my dear,
All our roses will be red.
Please don't cry, dear,
I can't understand it.
The shard in my eye, dear-
It's done it's damage.
We're torn apart, after all we've gone through.
The shard in my heart made me forget that I did love you.

The Snow Queen's Loss

every line so well thought out
close the door, remove all doubt
erased emotions strewn about
perfection wipes away the pain
what once was out now buried deep
wrapped up in walls, a heart asleep
to feel no pain and never weep
a ruse the only thing you gain
but love pursues as though the fire
sparks tiny light with hope aspire
braves danger, scoffs at warning dire
burns higher through the storm and rain
draws like unto itself and grows
lies patient in the winter blows
till one becomes a million glows
cold's battle all in vain
melting snow left all alone
feed blooms where 
brightest love has shone


The Last Poem About the Snow Queen



Then it was that little Gerda walked into the Palace, through the
great gates, in a biting wind…. She saw Kay, and knew him at once;
she flung her arms round his neck, held him fast, and cried, “Kai,
little Kai, have I found you at last?”

But he sat still, rigid and cold.

—Hans Christian Andersen, “The Snow Queen”
 

You wanted to know “love” in all its habitats, wanted
to catalog the joints, the parts, the motions, wanted
to be a scientist of romance: you said
you had to study everything, go everywhere,
even here, even
this ice palace in the far north.

You said you were ready, you’d be careful.
Smart girl, you wore two cardigans, a turtleneck,
furlined boots, scarves,
a stocking cap with jinglebells.
And over the ice you came, gay as Santa,
singing and bringing gifts.

Ah, but the journey was long, so much longer
than you’d expected, and the air so thin,
the sky so high and black.
What are these cold needles, what are these shafts of ice,
you wondered on the fourteenth day.
What are those tracks that glitter overhead?

The one you came to see was silent,
he wouldn’t say “stars” or “snow,”
wouldn’t point south, wouldn’t teach survival.
And you’d lost your boots, your furs,
now you were barefoot on the ice floes, fingers blue,
tears freezing and fusing your eyelids.

Now you know: this is the place
where water insists on being ice,
where wind insists on breathlessness,
where the will of the cold is so strong
that even the stone’s desire for heat
is driven into the eye of night.

What will you do now, little Gerda?
Kai and the Snow Queen are one, they’re a single
pillar of ice, a throne of silence—
and they love you
the way the teeth of winter
love the last red shred of November.


[My quintessential winter poem. A sort of love poem, too, but so
deliciously brutal. And man, I adore second person. And fairy tale
poems are an entire genre unto themselves!]

Susan Prospere, "On Thin Ice"

Then we lifted the cans of snow
to flock the tree in our sixth grade classroom
& we sprayed the stencils
pressed against the windows
to make snowflakes, each one different,
believing, because we were told,
that under a microscope
each powdery flake of real snow
has its own composition. That's the first
I'd heard of formal variance, & I
could see that no matter
how far into the deep woods
I would go, each little particulate grief
would have a structure. It's for memory's
sake, the teacher told us,
the words are arranged by rules
of poetic composition, & in my sleep,
the rhymes kept repeating,
like our fingers drumming against the desktops
as we scanned verse, lost in rêveries
that had little to do with meaning,
but rose instead from sound,
playing in the preholiday afternoons
like music. Swedenborg said the angels
express thought with consonants
that clack across the tongue
in regimental order, while feeling flows
through the vowels, small in number,
but always essential in making
a whole. My brother wrote words
backwards, as if he'd already been where
the rest of us would go. Tell me
what it's like there,
 I think
I wanted to say, cupping my mittened hands
around each syllable, but my brother
lay on the white sheet
of the hospital bed, unmoving,
like a branch in an icy field we walked
away from. Across the frozen tundra,
Gerda traveled to bring Kay home,
& when she found him at the Snow Queen's
palace, her breath froze in the air
into clouds of angels. I do not know
how long Kai struggled
under the Northern Lights to solve
the Ice Puzzle of Reason, pushing
the letters over the earth
to form eternity, but I know
that as long as his heart was pierced
with a fragment of evil, the work
he did was useless. Once my brother
put down the ragged pieces
of a life he couldn't fit
together. It's by sheer will
he's come back, following
the tracks across each wintry page
he holds before him, & when
he stumbles, the austere & beautiful
face of the Snow Queen
turns & mocks him at the window.`



Adrienne Rich, "The Snow Queen"

Child with a chip of mirror in his eye
Saw the world ugly, fled to plains of ice
Where beauty was the Snow Queen's promises.
Under my lids a splinter sharp as his
Has made me wish you lying dead
Whose image digs the needle deeper still.

In the deceptive province of my birth
I had seen yes turn no, the saints descend,
Their sacred faces twisted into smiles,
The stars gone lechering, the village spring
Gush mud and toads---all miracles
Befitting an incalculable age.

To love a human face was to discover
The cracks of paint and varnish on the brow;
Soon to distrust all impulses of flesh
That strews its sawdust on the chamber floor,
While at the window peer two crones
Who once were Juliet and Jessica.

No matter, since I kept a little while
One thing intact from that perversity---
Though landscapes bloomed in monstrous cubes and coils.
In you belonged simplicities of light
To mend distraction, teach the air
To shine, the stars to find their way again.

Yet here the Snow Queen's cold prodigious will
Commands me, and your face has lost its power,
Dissolving to its opposite like the rest.
Under my ribs a diamond splinter now
Sticks, and has taken root; I know
Only this frozen spear that drives me through.



Andersen's Snow Queen is a long tale, told in seven parts, and your poems can address any or all of them -- giving you many themes to explore and many characters to choose from: male and female, human and non-human, good-hearted and wicked (and those who are in between)...you can take your pick.
Rebecca Solnit, for example, focuses on the natural elements in Andersen's tale in this passage from The Faraway Goodbye:
"You could read The Snow Queen as a story about primordial forces versus animal empathies or even cold versus warmth. The boy with ice in his heart, Kai, disappears into the north on his sled, and his friend, Gerda, from the adjoining attic, misses him, mourns, waits for spring, hopes, kisses her grandmother goodbye, and walks to the river to begin looking for the boy."  After months of delay by an old woman with a magical garden, "she escapes into a landscape where autumn is spreading, and falls in with a talking crow, and then a prince and a princess, and then a robber girl who unties a captive reindeer for Gerda to ride. The talking reindeer, who is himself a marker of how far north she is,  carries her deeper into the north, into the country of winter, into her quest. On his back she reaches the home of  a second old woman, a Laplander who sends her on with an introduction written on a dried cod to a third, a Finnish woman farther north. This third fate or fairy or crone lives almost naked in a sauna-like house and puts ice on the reindeer's head to keep it comfortable.
"Even the reindeer implores the grimy Finnish enchantress for aid for Gerda; it's a fairy tale in which everything helps the humble and openhearted, in which every creature, except the trolls and the Snow Queen, serves the principal of warmth in its own way. But the Finnish woman replies, in this story of women and animals and hardly a man, 'I can't give her any greater power than she already has. Don't you see how great it is? Don't you see how people and animals want to serve her, how she has come so far in the world on her own two feet?"
Deborah Eisenberg speaks (in Mirror, Mirror on the Wall) of how unsettling she found the fairy tale as a child:
"The febrile clarity and propulsion is accomplished at the expense of the reader's nerves. Especially taxing are the claims on the reader by both Kai and Gerda. Who has not, like Gerda, been exiled from the familiar comforts of one's world by the departure or defection of a beloved? And what child has not been confounded by the daily employment of impossible obstacles and challenges? Who has not been forced to accede to a longing that nothing but its object can allay? On the other hand, who has not experienced some measure or some element of Kai's despair? Who has not, at one time or another, been paralyzed and estranged as their appetite and affection for life leaches away? . . . Who has not, at least briefly, retreated into a shining hermetic fortress from which the rest of the world appears frozen and colourless? Who has not courted an annihilating involvement? Who has not mistaken intensity for significance? What devotee of art has not been denied art's blessing? And who, withholding sympathy from their unworthy self, has not been ennobled by the sympathy of a loving friend?"
Indeed.

Mortal Knowledge

The way rain trickled
through vine leaves
and entered his mouth
seemed as if he were sipping
the snow queen’s blood. Sorrow
from the slit vein
of a cloud.
Three days earlier, she stood
draped in her ermine drifts
hair glinting on the pines
as her hand dared to touch his chest.
The heat would only hasten
her death
but she wanted to feel
a heart, a rhythmic shovel
struggling to clear
(though impossibly)
the obstacles to love.


Perhaps

Perhaps she loved him first,
followed him out of habit,
felt the zero seep from his pores,
his breath a tundra, his disdain
the ice of a parvenue.
Perhaps she left that cold love
for a better, returned
to the robber girl
who'd shown her reindeer
and bannocks baked on coals,
who gave her hot cider
pierced by a poker,
who kissed her slowly
while the heat rose
between their breasts.
Perhaps this is the story
I wanted to read, the one
Andersen was afraid to tell,
while the young man he loved
without telling or hope,
grew old, one letter,
one small letter away
from cold.


A Beautiful, Warm Summer


Sometimes, in the summer
When the dust hangs golden and redolent
Of the snow-motes, scattering
Before the fiery lances, in the waste,
And the air is heavy and hot
With the scent of roses, cloying
As unstirred love;
Or when the voice, rereading verses
Loved too well by repetition
Blurs in my ears, until instead
The wild croaking of a long dead bird I hear;
And I lose the horizon, in a sink
Of warm water, or the in the scented
Soil of the window box;
And I lie awake and stifling;
When the shadows running black along the wall
Are dreams I cannot catch;
I wonder in what wilderness she makes her way.
I seem to see her, riding hard
Along the edge of daylight,
Bent low across the thrumming hide
And stretching neck, her fierce teeth flashing
Sometimes in a smile, or a snarl.
Her hair is spangled like the midnight open sky
Bejewelled with pollen or with snow.
(The image changes, not that it matters now.
The story ended: as I tell the children
I returned to heaven.)
*I* returned with Kai, and *she*
Laughing, tossed her head and rode
On into the wide world.


she loved him.

that's the obvious thing
and the most desperately-hidden secret.
everyone knows it was always about love;
a boy who'd lost it
and the girl who found him because of it.
but she warmed him as best she could
by taking away the feeling of coldness,
by wrapping him up in snow so he
wouldn't be burnt on raw ice.
she only got two kisses.
she knew she could have no more;
one to ease his chill, and one to
keep him close to her.
love drives us to strange things,
and she was no exception.
(he did hitch his sledge to hers,
after all, so it was his choice,
she tells herself.)
she showed him as much of the world
as she could reach, flying on a black cloud
that sang to them ceaselessly
and delighted them both, though she worried
in silence, inside her pale self,
that he did not seem as delighted as she.
even the snowflaked face of the open moon
beaming silver tinsel down to them
did not make him smile as she hoped.
she showed him the wolves with their
solemnizing poems carried on the
mist of their hot breath into the sky;
she showed him the black crows with their
tireless wings and their glittering,
intelligent eyes that saw so much.
he slept at her feet and felt little,
and quietly she still ached
to see a childlike expression of wonder
on that lovely young face.
so she took him to her palace.
she had made it enormous, because
in the north, there is no need to be small,
and it was open to the world,
an invitation of wonder, of impossible beauty,
of icy, crystaline perfection.
the northern lights were the only ceiling she needed,
and she could gaze at them, speechless,
for days without moving.
but the only thing that stirred him to interest
were the puzzle pieces set about around her throne,
and she sat comfortably upon her holy seat
and watched him work. his mind was a contraption
that impressed her, and his way of
forming words out of chaos
made her smile.
she did not notice how blued he had become;
he never complained of cold.
in the back of her mind, she knew
she would have set fire to a black stone
to give him warmth, if he asked for it,
even if it would have melted her perfect skin.
she wanted to encourage him,
to earn more smiles from him,
even if he was always distracted by his puzzles;
so she promised him a reward, the only one
she could give, if he figured out the
almost-impossible word
in his self-created game.
satisfied that he would be well-occupied,
she told him she must leave
and shower snow upon the black mountains
so that lemons and grapes would grow.
he barely glanced up as she swept away
in her sledge. she did look back,
but he did not notice.
she returned days--weeks--later,
eager to see his round, pensive face,
only to find an empty hall
and the word ETERNITY
clearly spelled out
in lonely ice.


Instructions

by Neil Gaiman

Touch the wooden gate in the wall you never
saw before.
Say "please" before you open the latch,
go through,
walk down the path.
A red metal imp hangs from the green-painted
front door,
as a knocker,
do not touch it; it will bite your fingers.
Walk through the house. Take nothing. Eat
nothing.
However, if any creature tells you that it hungers,
feed it.
If it tells you that it is dirty,
clean it.
If it cries to you that it hurts,
if you can,
ease its pain.

From the back garden you will be able to see the wild wood.
The deep well you walk past leads to Winter's realm;
there is another land at the bottom of it.
If you turn around here,
you can walk back, safely;
you will lose no face. I will think no less of you.

Once through the garden you will be in the wood.
The trees are old. Eyes peer from the undergrowth.
Beneath a twisted oak sits an old woman. She
may ask for something;
give it to her. She
will point the way to the castle.
Inside it are three princesses.
Do not trust the youngest. Walk on.
In the clearing beyond the castle the twelve
months sit about a fire,
warming their feet, exchanging tales.
They may do favors for you, if you are polite.
You may pick strawberries in December's frost.
Trust the wolves, but do not tell them where
you are going.
The river can be crossed by the ferry. The ferry-
man will take you.
(The answer to his question is this:
If he hands the oar to his passenger, he will be free to
leave the boat.
Only tell him this from a safe distance.)

If an eagle gives you a feather, keep it safe.
Remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that
witches are often betrayed by their appetites;
dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always;
hearts can be well-hidden,
and you betray them with your tongue.

Do not be jealous of your sister.
Know that diamonds and roses
are as uncomfortable when they tumble from
one's lips as toads and frogs:
colder, too, and sharper, and they cut.

Remember your name.
Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found.
Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped
to help you in their turn.
Trust dreams.
Trust your heart, and trust your story.
When you come back, return the way you came.
Favors will be returned, debts will be repaid.
Do not forget your manners.
Do not look back.
Ride the wise eagle (you shall not fall).
Ride the silver fish (you will not drown).
Ride the grey wolf (hold tightly to his fur).

There is a worm at the heart of the tower; that is
why it will not stand.

When you reach the little house, the place your
journey started,
you will recognize it, although it will seem
much smaller than you remember.
Walk up the path, and through the garden gate
you never saw before but once.
And then go home. Or make a home.
And rest.



domingo, 10 de marzo de 2019

Variations on Coming of Age Fairy Tales

"What Her Mother Said" by Theodora Goss


Go, my child, through the forest
To your grandmother's house, in a glade
Where poppies with red mouths grow.

In this basket is an egg laid
Three days ago,
The three days our Lord lay sleeping,
Unspotted, from a white hen.
In this basket is also a skein,
Of wool, without stain,
Unspun. And a comb that the bees
Industriously filled
From the clover in the far pasture,
Unmown since the sun
Thawed it, last Spring.

If you can take it without breaking
Anything, I will give you
This ring.

Stay, child, and I'll give you this cap
To wear, so the forest creatures whose eyes
Blink from the undergrowth will be aware
That my love protects you. The creatures
Lurking beneath the trees,
Weasels and stoats and foxes, and worse
Than these.

And child, you must be wise
In the forest.

When the wolf finds you, remember:
Be courteous, but evasive. No answer
Is better than a foolish one.

If you stray from the path, know
That I strayed also. It is no great matter,
So long as you mark the signs:
Where moss grows on bark, where a robin
Builds her nest. The sun
Sailing west.

But do not stop to gather
The hawthorn flowers, nor yet
The red berries which so resemble
Coral beads. They are poisonous.
And do not stop to listen
To the reeds.

He must not be there first,
At your grandmother's house.

And when your grandmother serves you,
With a silver spoon, on a dish
Like a porcelain moon, Wolf Soup,
Remember to say your grace
Before you eat.

And know that I am pleased,
With you, my child.

But remember, when returning through the forest,
Kept warm against the night by a cloak
Of the wolf's pelt:
The hunter is also a wolf.


****************************************************

Persephone in Hades

Poppies have never been my favorite flowers.
Here they bloom all year long, if one can say
a year in Hades, where no seasons pass,
where summer never fades. Ironic, that—
a land of death where nothing ever dies.
I have almost forgotten how it feels
when snowflakes fall and melt against my cheeks,
when frost spreads her white veil across the landscape,
covering the hills, decorating the leaves
that rattle on the trees with intricate lace.
I miss that time of year when autumn fires
bloom in the household hearths. Here, no fires burn.
Instead, among the wheat, the poppies sway:
an endless field to drug men into sleep,
relieve their pains or worries for a while,
here, in this silent land where all are welcome.
As silent as my husband, Hades himself,
who sits all day in his library reading scrolls
lost to the world above us. “Why did you bring me
to this stagnant country,” I ask him, “if not to talk?
To sit and brood in a chair made out of bones,
or stare out the window at the unchanging garden,
in which only yew trees grow, and never speak?
Why abduct the daughter of Demeter?
Why not some other girl?” He shakes his head
and sighs. He would be handsome, if not so lost
in his own dreams. Or if he would trim his beard.
“I saw your hair lift in the wind,” he says,
“and thought of it blowing back against my face,
but there is no wind down here. I saw your mouth
and thought perhaps it would kiss me, or whisper poems
into my ears. Perhaps then I’d wake up
from this endless sleep, this abyss of timelessness.
I thought you might love me in time, forgetting that love
cannot live in this land.” He looks at me, frowning.
“You’ll never love me, will you, Persephone?”
“Not,” I say, “as long as you keep me here,
while above us frost and snow blanket the earth—
away from death, among the endless dead.”
“Yet how can I let you go?” His eyes plead with me,
I suppose to be forgiven or understood,
but I turn away, unsympathetic. He should
know better: you cannot have love on such terms.
Even the gods, selfish as children, know that.
It is useless, here, to count the days, and yet
a day will come, a day without a dawn,
when I will feel that ache within my chest,
as though a string were tied around my heart,
and know, with crocuses and hyacinths,
it’s time to push my way through the dark soil
into the sunlight, into my mother’s arms.
It’s time to blossom like the olive trees,
be born again into mortality
for a little while, laugh and shake water drops
from my hair, dance across the sunlit meadows
sprinkled with daisies and cornflowers, forget the land
of death and poppies, at least for a little while.
To forget, for a little while, the silent husband
who waits implacably at summer’s end.

*************************************************

Snow, Blood, Fur

She looks at herself in the full-length mirror of the bridal salon. She resembles a winter landscape, hills and hollows covered with snow, white and sparkling. She is the essence of purity, as though all that has ever blown through her is a chill wind. The veil falls and falls to her feet. She shivers.
"Are you cold, Rosie?" her mother asks.
She shakes her head, but she is cold, or rather she is Cold, a Snow Queen. If she breathed on the mirror, it would frost.
"Well, you look beautiful. Just beautiful. Nana would have been so proud."
When she gets home, she goes up to her bedroom and opens the closet door. In one corner, in a wooden toy box she has kept from her childhood, is the wolf skin. She puts it on, draping it around her shoulders, then steps into the closet, pulls the door closed behind her, and sits down beside a parade of high-heeled shoes.
It is dark, as dark as she imagines it must have been in the belly of the wolf.
Sometimes she still has nightmares.
She is walking through the forest. Pine needles and oak leaves crunch under her boots. Once in a while, blackberry bushes pull at her dress so she has to stop and untangle the canes. She is wearing the red cloak her grandmother knit and felted. In it, she looks like a Swiss girl, demure, flaxen-haired: a Christmas angel. Her grandmother gave it to her for her sixteenth birthday.
Suddenly, on the path ahead of her is the wolf. Dark fur, slavering red mouth. Sharp, pricked ears, yellow eyes as wild as undiscovered countries. Or it is a young man, a hunter by his clothing. He has a tweed cap on his head with a feather in it, and is carrying a rifle. When he sees her, he bows, although she cannot tell if he is serious or mocking.
"Aren't you afraid of the wolf, Mistress Rose? He has been seen in this forest. Perhaps I should escort you, wherever you might be going."
In her basket is a bottle of blackberry cordial, a small cake with currants. She is taking them to her grandmother, who has rheumatism. She has been told to beware wolves... and young men.
****************************************************
Her Mother's Ghosts
Her name is Ilona. The other children at school call her Smellona. She is not me, but I have been her. Here are the things I remember most clearly:

She lives in a townhouse in Washington D.C. with her mother and younger brother, whose bangs are always cut crooked. It is the seventies. She and her brother wear clothes they will later call hideous in photographs, but now, today, they are not hideous, because brown is still a respectable color. They are playing under the cherry trees. The blossoms are everywhere, lying on the asphalt in heaps like pink snow.
In the kitchen drawer are silver spoons, smuggled in socks, the sleeves of pajamas. They are heavy, dulled with use. They are older than her mother, her grandmother. One is much worse for having slipped into the garbage disposal. In the kitchen cabinet are margarine tubs, more than ten, perhaps more than twenty, washed clean, ready in case the world runs out of margarine tubs. Don't laugh. It could happen.

Since Ilona turned seven, she has been haunted by her mother's ghosts. Once, late at night, she saw a train conductor coming out of the bathroom.
"Do you have your visa?" he asked her.
She shook her head. She was in a pink nightgown, and her feet were bare. The floor was cold.
"Then you can't cross the border," he said, looking down at her sternly. "You'll have to get out here, and speak to the station master."
She nodded. She really needed to go to the bathroom, but she was afraid that if she tried to slip past him, he would grab her. Then she would scream, and her mother would wake up. She would have to explain that she had had a nightmare. She could never tell her mother that she had seen her ghosts.
Once, when she was sitting at the kitchen table doing her homework, a man in a green plaid suit said to her, "You can't go to medical school. You're not qualified."
She stared at his tie, which had a pattern of wheat sheaves and small tractors. His neck turned red. Above his mustache, his cheeks and nose also turned red.
"Why haven't you joined the Party?" he asked with barely suppressed rage. She had not known that a question could sound so angry. She was afraid he was going to slap her.
After he disappeared, she could not think about her homework. Instead, she went out to the back garden and sat on the bricks, staring at the ivy that grew up the sides of the house. Sometimes sparrows built nests there, among the leaves, and in the mornings, especially, the ivy cheeped and stirred. Last spring, one of the stray cats had brought a baby sparrow in to breakfast and laid it down on the linoleum, like a gift.

At first she thought the stray cats were ghosts. They came in the evenings and sat on the bricks in the back garden. She would take them up to her bedroom. After they had stayed in her bedroom for three days, living on milk and chicken left over from the paprikás, they were allowed to stay.
Sometimes they disappeared as mysteriously as they had come. These, she decided, where ghost cats from the streets of Budapest. But others stayed, and during her childhood there were more and more cats, sitting on the sofa, scratching the legs of the dining room table, curling beside her when she slept at night, one on her feet, one at her side, one with his chin on her shoulder, purring into her ear. In the middle of the night, he liked to pull her hair with his claws. She would wake up, and that was when, more often than not, she would see the ghosts.

At first, she thought the voice on the telephone was a ghost. "Traitor!" it said. "We're coming to take your children. Why did you leave your parents? They miss you, your husband misses you. We'll put you in prison, with rats, and sewer water seeping over the floor!"
Soon after, they moved to the country. Her brother began a series of collections: stones from the streambed, insects, a selection of rusted nails. He kept them in shoe boxes, in his closet. The insects crawled out. Spiders began to spin webs in the corners of his room. Sometimes they would eat dinner with fireflies crawling over the ceiling. The stray cats kept leaving half-eaten caterpillars on the stairs.

More than once, Ilona saw her grandmother, an old woman with short gray hair and delicate wrists. As a girl, she had studied art. Later, she had been forbidden to sell her paintings. They arrived at holidays wrapped around boxes of chocolates. Her mother hung them in every room of the house, even the bathroom. If you stood close, you could still see creases where her mother had ironed the folds.
She always appeared as a thin wash, like one of her watercolors of the light over Lake Balaton. Through her, Ilona could see the banister, the dining room table, the swing hanging from an oak tree in the garden.
Once, she thought she saw her father standing by the oak tree. He was wearing a uniform, like the train conductor but with a red star on his cap. She thought he looked handsome, but he vanished quickly.

There is something I have forgotten to tell you. When she was twelve and still living in Washington D.C., day after day for a period of three months she saw tanks driving down the streets. On her way to school, on her way to the dentist. During these months, she could not sleep. She threw up everything but a slice of birthday cake at a party for a girl from school. She lost weight and developed dark circles under her eyes. Her mother took her to the doctor. She began to believe she was turning into a ghost.

You are angry with me. You say, this is not a story. It is merely a series of scenes, and of manufactured scenes at that. Your name is not Ilona. You never saw your mother's ghosts.
And of course you are right. When Ilona was seventeen, her mother died of breast cancer. After that, she never saw ghosts. Her brother grew up to be a famous entomologist. He is now a professor at Harvard. She grew up to be a writer, but not of stories. She writes about art, and sometimes architecture. She would never write this story, so I am writing it for her.
My mother did not die. Last year, she finished law school. My brother, a computer programmer, went to her graduation. They live by the ocean in California, where it is always sunny.
I rarely see them. I am haunted by ghosts, invisible, impalpable: the ghosts of silver spoons and margarine tubs, the smell of paprikás cooking on Sunday afternoons. The ghost of a country.
Sometimes, in my Boston apartment, I see her: the ghost of my mother, walking along the hallway, running her fingers over the piano. I see her from the back, wearing a dress with light blue and white checks. She made us both dresses out of that fabric, in Brussels. Once, a policeman stopped to ask me, with a wink, if I liked taking walks with my older sister.
When I see her, she is always walking away from me. And her back tells me, some things you can't understand, even by writing about them.