domingo, 13 de diciembre de 2015

THE SALON TANGO (RINGSTETTEN SAGA)

I felt that I had to do the Salon Tango, somehow. The Ringstetten Saga version of the Cell Block Tango. No Ringstetten leading characters, for all of them have to survive, but historical characters. And Skirnir, AKA Loki, who according to theories will be the villain of the fourth arc. The characters here come from Arcs I and II, as you see. 

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

SKIRNIR:
And now, the Six Merry Murderers of the Ringstetten Saga
in their rendition of the Salon Tango!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ALL SIX:
They had it coming, 
they had it coming, 
they only had themselves to blame...
And if you'd been there,
and if you'd seen it,
I bet my life you'd had done the same!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
You know how people have these little habits that get you down.
Like my brother Charles.
Charles just loved to fight. 
No, not brawls. WARS.
Though I was the eldest child, he was the eldest son, and thus inherited the crown,
so I was really irritated, until he went abroad and I could have a little bit of sympathy...
and then, a letter came from the front...
'twas Charles, forced into retreat after losing at Poltava.
Against the Czar. 
In a WAR!
So I wrote back to him: "you start a war one more time..."
And he did.
So I sent an officer of guards to the front,
who fired a warning shot...
INTO HIS HEAD.

He had it coming, 
he had it coming,
he only had himself to blame...
And if you'd been there,
and if you'd heard it,
I bet my life you'd had done the same!

CLARA:
I met Count Philipp Christoph von Königsmarck 
at the Leine Palace (Leineschloss), in the prime of my career.
And he told me he was single.
And we hit it off right away.
So, we started a liaison! 
He'd tend to his duties as colonel of the Electoral Guard, 
he'd come to the salon with his officers,
I'd fix everyone a drink, we'd have supper tête-a-tête...
And then I found out.
"Sophie," he told me?
Sophie, sang bleu!
Not only was he with the Electoress,
oh no.
She was already married.
To one of those louts, you know.
So that night, right when Count Königsmarck had his rendezvous,
I fixed his officers their drinks, as usual.
You know, some commanders just can't handle uprisings!

He had it coming, 
he had it coming,
he took a flower in its prime,
and then he'd dither,
leave it to wither:
it was a murder, but not a crime!


ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!

WALLENSTEIN:
Now I'm sitting in the observatory,
perusing my enemies' natal charts in the evening,
minding my own business...
In storms my valet, sending me into a rage!
"Why are you not wearing scarlet!?",
I say. His sash was green, and I kept on screaming:
"Why are you not wearing scarlet!?"
And then, he ran into a noose.
He ran into a noose ten times.

And if you'd been there,
and if you'd seen it,
I bet my life you'd had done the same!

ELEANOR:
Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait?
On dit que j'ai maltraité ma fille
et que j'ai été une mauvaise influence sur elle...
Mais ce n'est pas vrai.
Je suis innocente!
Je ne sais pas pourquoi le Chancelier Régent a dit ces choses.
J'ai essayé de lui expliquer mes raisons,
mais il ne m'a ecouté pas!
WALLENSTEIN:
Yes, but did you do it?
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh! Not guilty!

TILLY:
My second-in-command Pappenheim and I were on this campaign,
and my third-in-command Fürstenberg used to fight alongside us.
Now during the storming of Magdeburg, emboldened with drink, these two performed
the following violent deeds in a row:
One, two, three, four, five,
crush furniture, ravish maidens, orphan children, butcher children,
one right after the other.
So this one day after taking Leipzig, we're on the fields of Breitenfeld,
the three of us, ready for the upcoming battle.
And... we had the upper hand.
So I could sit still and pray a rosary.
I lift my head, tuck the beads into my breastplate...
and there's Pappenheim and Fürstenberg,
doing the last thing they were supposed to do:
insubordination!
Well, I was in such a state of shock... 
I completely blacked out.
I don't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later, when I came to with a surgeon by my bedside,
I even knew we had lost.

We had it coming, 
we had it coming, 
we had it coming all along...
I didn't do it,
but if I'd done it, 
how could you tell me that I was wrong?

We had it coming, 
we had it coming, 
we had it coming all along...
I didn't do it,
but if I'd done it, 
how could you tell me that I was wrong?

AURORA:
I loved Augustus the Strong more than I can possibly say.
He was a really dashing guy... sensitive... an aesthete.
But he was always trying to find himself.
He'd go on a soirée every night looking for himself, and on the way...
he found Amalia,
Esterle,
Katharina,
and Constantia.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences.
He saw himself as Hercules...
and I saw him as Zeus.

ALL SIX:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum!

They had it coming, 
they had it coming, 
they had it coming all along...
I didn't do it,
but if I'd done it, 
how could you tell me that I was wrong?
They had it coming, 
they had it coming, 
they only had themselves to blame...
And if you'd been there,
and if you'd seen it,
I bet my life you'd had done the same!

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
"You start a war one more time..."
CLARA:
Sophie, sang bleu!
WALLENSTEIN:
He ran into a noose ten times.
ELEANOR:
Pourquoi est-ce que le Régent m'a fait emprisonner?
TILLY:
The last thing they were supposed to do: insubordination.
AURORA:
Artistic differences.

ULRIKE ELEANOR:
Wars!
CLARA:
Sophie!
WALLENSTEIN:
Scarlet!
ELEANOR:
Uh-uh!
TILLY:
Breitenfeld!
AURORA:
Augustus!




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