lunes, 28 de noviembre de 2022

THEME SERIAL KILLERS AND OTHELLO

 A Theme Serial Killer, according to TV Tropes, has to pattern his kills after a famous set, like the seven deadly sins, or a work of fiction. The killer will choose victims who match up with the set and/or he will kill them in manners befitting the set. Note that the killer will avoid repeating methods of murder: each death will represent, in some way, another portion of the set or story.

In particular, and given my own personal catnip, I want to focus on murders committed by two British Theme Serial Killers in particular, both of them Wicked Cultured (villains with a taste for high culture), one of them with a Shakespearean theme and another with an operatic theme. Naturally, both of them just felt like they had to sink their teeth into having a Desdemona (in one of their cases, with an Othello on the side) on their respective hit lists.

Significantly, both murders took place in the United Kingdom; the Shakespearean one in London town and the Verdian one in a railway yard on the outskirts of Oxford. They also took place around the same time period; Evelyn Balfour née Tate was killed in the 1960s and Maisie Psaltery in the 1970s.


"Ancora un bacio" (Die On the Third Kiss - my own translation of the lyric!): Desdemona in the Endeavour episode Fugue

Victim: Evelyn Balfour née Tate, a married thirty- or forty-something housewife. She was chosen by the killer because she was involved in his legal trial, being the daughter of a pub barmaid who was a female witness at the trial. Also because Evelyn's first name began with an E, the first note in the lines of the treble clef (another theme the killer followed). Also because Evelyn had been cheating on her husband, Mr. Balfour. Like, having real love affairs, subverting what we expect of a Desdemona stand-in!

Killer: Mason Gull "The Opera Phantom," an unstable musical prodigy who was sentenced to juvie as a teen for matricide.

More Information: Evelyn was strangled by Gull in a railway yard, inside a disused railway carriage (the killer combining Othello and Iago), with a handkerchief embroidered with a capital D stuffed into her mouth (as a clue to which character she represented); he wrote the final words of the Verdian opera by Arrigo Boito, Othello's last words said to the corpse of Desdemona as he kisses her, in original Italian, "ancora un bacio" ("die on the third kiss," in my translation of the libretto on this blog as Miss Dermark's Verdian Othello), on the back of the railway carriage door.


The Psalteries' Marital Crisis: Othello and Desdemona in Theatre of Blood

Victims: Maisie and Solomon Psaltery, an old, as in elderly, happily married couple of caustic theatre critics. Happily until Solomon was cajoled into believing Maisie was flirting with others... They were chosen by the killer for having panned (harshly criticised) his Shakespearean performances on the stage.

Killer: Edward Lionheart, a frustrated Shakespearean thespian whom the Psalteries and other caustic critics had panned, and who had attempted suicide and was presumed dead. Assuming the umpteeenth out of many new identities, he gained the Psalteries' trust and pitted Solomon against Maisie. Taking on the roles of both Iago and Cassio, Lionheart posed as an Italian masseur and gave Maisie a faux-erotic naked massage, not before having told her husband to watch the procedure...

More Information: Just like in the finale of both the Shakespearean and Verdian versions (but having Shakespeare as the source material), Solomon stifled Maisie with a pillow in the couple's bed in a jealous rage. Then, when Solomon realised what he had done (unlike Othello) he did not commit suicide, but rather survived and turned himself willingly to be seized and imprisoned by Scotland Yard for uxoricide (it's implied, though, that his old age and poor health won't let him survive prison for long... and what is harsher in hindsight, Jack Dawkins, who played Solomon Psaltery, died of throat cancer three months after the film's initial release. He had to be live-action dubbed by an uncredited Charles Gray, as his larynx had been removed).


SUMMING UP: "Who Says I Play the Villain?" Or: What Drives Theme Serial Killers to Play Iago?

Both the Shakespeare-themed and the opera-themed serial killer had a multitude of appropriate motifs to choose from, and yet both of them were drawn to the same plot (seen through the lens of Shakespeare and Verdi, respectively), and both cast themselves as Iago. 

Maybe they were drawn to the story for the same reasons that draw me and countless others to pick it as a personal favourite. The way Iago manipulates his fellow humans by using their flaws is something we even admire; even if we do not have access to the gift of people-speaking or the Imperius Curse, this is a form of mind control some of us muggle people can have access to in real life. The way he even poisons, or gaslights, a happy couple of newlyweds into abuse and even murder is also shocking. Even Mr. Burns himself lists Iago in his catalogue of villains in his character song "High to be Loathed," making a shadow puppet of him in Elizabethan garb! And that among the likes of Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort, Megatron, and Skeletor, not to mention Mr. Burns mentioning himself (ie leaning on the fourth wall)! The only fictional character as classic and public domain as Iago in those lyrics is Southern slaver Simon Legree...

So, long story short, we admire Iago for his superb manipulation skills, and love to hate him for his outright wickedness and nihilism and utter disregard for the lives of others, all at the same time. As John Eglinton puts it in Joyce's Ulysses:

-- And what a character is Iago! undaunted John Eglinton exclaimed. When all is said Dumas fils (or is it Dumas père?) is right. After God Shakespeare has created most.

And we're talking a (fictional?) major scholar of Shakespeare here! In fact, Iago is regarded by countless thespians and baritones as a great challenge to perform as because of the many masks you have to don on stage when interacting with all the different co-stars. Iago is cheerful with Cassio, professional with Othello, cold-hearted with the ladies... And, at heart, a sinister riddle wrapped in mystery inside an enigma. Furthermore, that scheming that is required for both being Iago and being a theme serial killer requires a lot of creativity, if you think of that. Creativity warped to serve sinister aims, but nevertheless creativity:

According to A. C. Bradley, “. . . Iago is motivated by a love of excitement and by his perception of himself as an artist.  He derives great pleasure from the successful execution of his complex and dangerous intrigues.”

The same way that Mason Gull is a musical prodigy and Edward Lionheart is an ace thespian. No surprise that both of them would, in their revenge-fueled serial killings, be drawn to the intrigues of Iago, and pick a married wife among their respective lists of victims to cast as Desdemona (in the case of Lionheart and the Psalteries, with her husband co-starring as Othello). If I had a blacker heart and a grudge against a married wife, and more of a knack for persuasion, maybe I would have gone down the same dark path... who knows?


domingo, 27 de noviembre de 2022

HANS BRIX OM SNEDRONNINGEN 4. HISTORIE / SNOW QUEEN 4TH STORY

 

Hans Brix om Snedronningens fjerde Historie, "Prins og Prinsesse"

Under Udformningen af Grantræet — 4 Dec. 1844 — havde han (HC Andersen), som ovenfor vist, bestemt sig til at sammentrænge »Klods-Hans« — der jo vilde have staaet altfor grelt til sine Omgivelser — til en enkelt Linje. Til Gengæld har han Dagen efter — 5 Dec. — indflettet dette det eneste Eventyr han kunde i Snedronningen. Dette er naturligvis ikkegjort i et ørkesløst Lune. Andersen har for at komme udover det døde Punkt i Fortællingen valgt at skildre Oplevelsen fra 1822 med Søsteren i Eventyrforklædning. Hun drog fra Odense til København i den Tro at finde Broderen som Aladdin i et Slot; men hun — og han — tog fejl; han var ikke Aladdin, og havde ikke fundet Lykken. Om hans Angest for hende i den første Tid derefter minder Skov-Kragens Ord till Gerda: Saadan en lille Pige som du faar aldrig Lov til at komme ordentlig ud. — Det morsomme Indfald med Tjeneres Tjenere, der holder Dreng, er dannet over en Rejseerindring, der fortælles i Mit Livs Eventyr: I Bøhmen havde han hørt en Jøde sige, at han vilde ikke være Konge, det var saa svært, men nok en Konges Kammertjener, ligesom En han havde kendt, der var bleven saa tyk, at han ikke kunde gaa, men maatte atter holde sig igen en Kammertjener. — Hele Skildringen af Hoffet er i det hele gjort med megen Omhu og stort Kendskab; Andersen var bleven en forfaren Mand, siden han sidst havde skildret højere Steder i Eventyrene. —
Hvad Eventyreren selv angaar, da er han ingen Klods-Hans; en saa grotesk Figur lod sig ikke passe ind i denne Ramme; han er derimod en gammel Bekendt, nemlig Soldaten fra Fyrtøjet; han kommer ganske frejdig marcherende lige op til Slottet med sin Ransel paa Ryggen; til Lakajerne nikker han og siger: »Det maa være kedeligt at staa paa Trappen, jeg gaar heller indenfor.«
...
Her (i syvende Historie) træffer Gerda gamle Bekendte, men hverken hun eller Broderen giver Agt paa de Tegn, der møder dem: ... og Prinsen og Prinsessen er rejst til fremmede Lande. — Det vil sige, at det er ikke blot Aarstiden der er draget forbi, men at en Aarrække er gaaet. —

22 Juli 1843 (H.C. Andersens antegninger): Heiberg skrækkeligt medtaget af »Dagen«. Kørt Tur forbi Turebyholm! Skyggespil paa Buskene, idet vi kørte1. Fortalt Eventyr. Grev Moltke Nutschau indtruffet.
1. Cfr. Prinseparrets Drømme i Snedronningen.


Sandra Dermark's Translation, 27th of November 2022

Hans Brix on the Making of the Snow Queen's Fourth Story, "Prince and Princess" 

- We've got the inspiration behind the Prince (we know the Princess may be drawn from Shakespeare's Portia, but here's where her consort came from) as well as the inspiration for there being a hierarchy of gentleman courtiers and their valets and valets' valets - ditto court ladies and their maids and maids' maids. And most importantly the date for the making of this subplot... the 5th of December 1844. So why not make the 5th of December unofficial Fourth-Story-Prince-and-Princess Day and celebrate it by reading the subplot aloud, watching versions of it, looking at illustrations, perusing Maria Tatar's and Hans Brix's analyses (both on this blog), and eating the food mentioned in the subplot: bread and butter (smørrebrød), sugar pretzels (sukkerkringler) and gingerbread nuts/gingersnaps (pebernødder). You can buy the two latter foods, which are the pastries in the golden carriage, at Flying Tiger of Copenhagen in December, since they are Christmas pastries in Denmark.

During the creation of "The Spruce Tree" (AKA "The Christmas Tree") on the 4th of December 1844, Hans Christian Andersen had decided to sum up the Nordic folktale "Simple Simon" ("Klods-Hans"), which would have seemed too lurid and garish for the people of his society surroundings, in a simple, streamlined fashion. On the other hand, on the next day (the 5th of December), he nested this folktale, the only one he could, into The Snow Queen. Naturally, this has not been done in an effortless mood. Andersen has, in order to overcome a dead point or writer's block in his telling of The Snow Queen, chosen to depict the experience with his sister in 1822 in fairytale guise. She came from Odense to Copenhagen with the hope of finding her brother, like Aladdin, at a castle or palace, but both siblings were wrong; Hans Christian was not Aladdin, and he had not found his fortune yet. His anxieties about her in the time shortly afterward are recalled by the forest crow's words to Gerda: "Such a little maiden as you will never be allowed to enter (the royal castle) properly."

The witty irruption about the gentleman courtiers' valets' valets, who keep a pageboy apiece, is created from a memory of his travels, that Andersen tells in his memoirs, The Fairytale of My Life: In Bohemia (the present-day Czech Republic), he had heard a Jew say that he did not want to be king, for that was too difficult, but only a king's valet, like one he had known, who had put on so much weight that he could not walk, but was forced to keep a valet of his own. 

The whole description of the royal court is generally done with lots of care and lots of knowledge about the subject; Andersen had become an experienced man since the last time he had depicted such high places in his tales.

When it comes to the young adventurer himself, he is no Simple Simon; such a grotesque character would never fit into this frame; he is rather an old acquaintance, namely the soldier from "The Tinderbox" (AKA "The Lighter," or "The Firelighter"); he comes rather confidently marching straight up to the castle with his knapsack on his back; to the lackeys on the staircase he nods and says: "It would be tiresome to stand all day on the stairs; I'd rather go inside."

... (Nothing said about the death of the redshirt servants/entourage of the golden carriage)

Here (in the Seventh Story) Gerda meets old acquaintances, but neither she nor her playmate (Kai) pay attention to the signs that they meet: ... and the Prince and the Princess are travelling through foreign lands. 

This means that not only has a season passed (winter changed into spring), but that a whole year cycle has come and gone.

One year and a half before, and we get a possible inspiration for all the dreams of riders haunting the royal castle while HCA was working on a story he called "The Cygnet" ("Ugly Duckling" in the present day):

22nd of July 1843: Heiberg frighteningly shocked by "The Day" (a newspaper). Drove a while by Turebyholm! Shadowplay on the bushes, as we drove our carriage1. Told magic tales. Met Count Moltke Nutschau.

Annotation 1 for "Shadowplay on the bushes:" Compare the dreams of the Prince and Princess in The Snow Queen.

THE CATTLE OF THE SUN (ODYSSEY)

 The Cattle of the Sun
A Little Known Cautionary Tale from the Odyssey

Retold by Carlos Goñi, translated by Sandra Dermark (27th of November, 2022)

Times of plenty call for one kind of self-discipline (as in the story of the goose that laid the golden eggs). Times of hardship call for other sorts of self-restraint. During tough times, people are tempted to put aside social and moral codes. In this episode from Homer's Odyssey, the crew of Odysseus does not have the self-control to pass a tough test...

One of the crossroads through which the forlorn Odysseus has to pass is described by Homer in Canto the Twelfth of the Odyssey. Landing on the island where the Cattle of the Sun pasture, and not to starve to death, Odysseus' crewmen, disobeying their leader's advice, devoured the flesh of those sacred horned heads. The sovereign luminary, seized with terrible sorrow, swore revenge to Zeus, who caused the wreck of the ship. Only the king of Ithaca, who had abstained from eating beef, could arrive safe on land; the rest "a god deprived them of return."


After coasting past the islet of the Sirens, Odysseus' ship was brought by the gods to the bottleneck of the strait, the dwelling place of Charybdis and Scylla, sea monsters who devoured anyone who came too close. However, the expedition was able to pass through the bottleneck unscathed and came to Thrinacria, a flat and green island.

Odysseus and his crew had spent many days without eating, so they landed on that shore that promised to harbour enough provisions to satisfy their hunger for the rest of the journey. They ventured inland with bows, swords, and spears in hand in search of some deer or some boars. Soon they realised that pastures and freshwater were abundant, but that, however, there were no fruit trees or edible tubers. They crested a small hill and came to a mesa as flat as the palm of a hand, where they discovered, to their great elation, a herd of beautiful white cows. The starving sailors readied their spears, about to pounce at the placid cattle, but Odysseus, who knew the horned heads were divine, stopped them saying:

"You may take as much as you want from this island, but leave these cows be, since they are the Cattle of the Sun. Whoever eats of their flesh will have to confront the god of the stars himself."

Upon hearing their captain's order, the sailors grew sad and sat down on the grass, contemplating the enormous white cows that grazed meekly in front of their eyes. Odysseus saw them looking so disappointed that he left them to rest and left to explore the island on his own in search for as much provisions as they needed for the journey ahead.

For a whole day, Odysseus crisscrossed the island of Thrinacria without finding anything else than green meadows. When he returned to the spot where he had left his crewmen he found them eating beef from the sacred cows. They had sacrificed two heads of cattle, one of which had sated their hunger, and the other was being prepared for a whole burnt offering. Upon beholding such a sacrilege, Odysseus flew into a rage: harshly addressing the heavens:

"What are you doing, you fools?! Are you by chance intending to provoke the fury of the gods?! Are you perhaps thinking that by offering one of their sacred beasts as a whole burnt offering, you are going to appease the fury of the king of the heavens?! You have made a terribly stupid mistake. What kind of men are you that have not been able to remain fasting?! Do your guts rule more than your heads?! Then let me be your head and let us flee ere the vengeance of the All-Seeing One falls upon all of us."

Having finished his tirade, the skies darkened and strong winds picked up. Everyone began to run desperately towards the coast. They climbed on board and set sail without delay. A strong gust made the sails swell and suddenly left them far from the island. When they were in open waters, the sky roared with thunder and a huge wave swallowed up the ship. The whole crew perished smashed by the wave, except Odysseus.

The bold sailor king was able to clutch a piece of mast. As he passed once more the bottleneck of the strait, by Charybdis and Scylla, he was nearly sucked up by Charybdis. Luckily, he was able to clutch a fig tree that grew at the entrance to the cave, and thus avoided to enter the grotto of the dreadful monster. When the sea beast spewed out all the saltwater she had sucked in, Odysseus was shot out with such good luck that he was able to seize the piece of mast from before once again. In such precarious conditions, he drifted away with the currents until he landed on a beach near the mouth of a river. There he remained unconscious, hidden among the reeds and shrubbery.


Suggestions

There is some morality, some coded message for humans in relation to the cattle in this mythological excerpt. The explicit interdiction against eating beef from the Cattle of the Sun (which appears both in the Odyssey and in the Hindu belief on sacred cattle) has a clear moral sense. It reminds us of some pretty elementary principles of behaviour, such as: "do not wish to satisfy your appetite immediately," "if you eat the cow, you will not be able to drink the milk," "a cow in the stable is worth two steaks in the barbecue (read "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush")," ... with the aim of not thinking only of "right here right now" (ie instant gratification), but of the future. Whoever is unable to put a stop to instinct, whoever cannot say no or accept no for an answer, whoever cannot see beyond the immediate present, is not human.

Speaking of the divine horned heads brings obvious and irrepressible thoughts of mad cow disease, that years ago dealt a heavy blow to livestock-based British economy and kept half Europe on tenterhooks. Every now and then, nature protests with a new epidemic. Who knows? Maybe these cows are demanding respect, like the Cattle of the Sun?

miércoles, 23 de noviembre de 2022

FOUR TUNA IN PEAR OF TRICKS, MONDAY

 FOUR TUNA IN PEAR OF TRICKS, MONDAY

or,

SOMETHING OLD, AND SOMETHING NEW, (BORROWED FROM THE CARMINA BURANA)

^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i. the old

OH, FOUR TUNA

Original Lyrics: Vox Pop (Goliard folksong)
Music: Carl Orff
Misheard Lyrics: S. Dermark, originally 6th June MMXV, updated 25th November MMXXII

Oh, four tuna!
Bring more, Luna!
Statuary on her knees!

Some men grate cheese,
hot temperate cheese,
Vimto can taste of kidneys...

You caught two rats,
bet too cool rats,
you don't get cheese or chicken...

Ate chips all day,
hot and salty,
dipped sore feet, good hot chili...

Saucy codpiece...
Get me cod, please!
Brought up to volume in me!

Suck juice from moose!
Finance some moose! (Alt.: Fun with some moose!)
Second these so rude big knees!

Open bra top!
Get 'em loved up!
Leaky foot when near cherries!

Look there, Froot Loop!
Don't sue YouTube!
Farewell to missionaries...

SAW SOME WOOKIEES!
GREAT BIG WOOKIEES!
THEY GIVE YOU GONORRHEA!

THIS FAT BIG PUSS! (Refers to Puss in Shrek Forever After when he becomes obese in the alternate timeline when Rumpelstiltskin rules).

LET'S GIVE HIM BOOTS!
SEND HIM TO NORTH KOREA!

LOVELY YODA,
SEND ME MORE OF
POTATO SOUP AND CHICKEN!

HOT MESS ALL DAY!
SING IT UGLY!
BE GOOD FOOOOOOOOR, PLEASE, LOOOVELY CAAAAKE!!

(EPIC CODA)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^¨¨¨¨^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ii. the new

FOUR TUNA PLAN GO WOOL NEAR RA

A brand new sequel to Oh, Four Tuna

Original Lyrics: Vox Pop (Goliard folksong)
Music: Carl Orff
Misheard Lyrics: S. Dermark, 25th of November MMXXII


Four tuna plan go wool near Ra,

still, Lunt is wuss of Shell is.

Cod soup for me in Moon near Ra,

soup Tre eat rebel is.

Wear oh, is, cod leg in tour,

front, ace, Cappy lotta,

zed plaid... okay ace segway turn

okay's yokel vat, ah!

Wear oh, is, cod leg in tour,

front, ace, Cappy lotta,

zed plaid... okay ace segway turn

okay's yokel vat, ah!


In four tuna's soul, yo,

seder Ramel let us,

Prosper eat tatties, vary yo,

Florrie core ornate us.

Quick quid aim on Florrie,

Felix let the arthouse,

none 'cause sum of Coors, rouille,

glory and private is.

Quick quid aim on Florrie,

Felix let the arthouse,

none 'cause sum of Coorsrouille,

glory and private is.


Four tuna wrought and volving tour,

descent ominorate us,

altering alt and tolling tour,

memes exaltate us.

Exudate inverted Che,

caveat Rue Ena,

'Nam, sub, Axl, leg the most:

Hey, Cuba Regina!

Exudate inverted Che,

caveat Rue Ena,

'Nam, sub, Axl, leg the most:

Hey, Cuba Regina!










DRAGON STUDY DAY - MMXXII UPDATE

 DRAGON STUDY DAY


Original song: Dragostea din tei (Love Beneath the Linden), O-Zone
Misheard lyrics, first translated by Miss Dermark on the 1st of June MMXV, updated by Miss Dermark on the 25th of November MMXXII


My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

Alone, salute, sit there... ooh, hi Duke!
See the rug? You be the man! Please mash the very Uchihas.

'Allo, 'Allo! Sit there, Picasso!
Damn that beep!
(beep beep, beep beep)
She's all unique:
Dark sideStenoCherNIMIC.

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon study day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!

"Too soon", said Spoon.
"Just eat... a comb!"
Alone, you'll be the man! Sit there, very Uchiha.

'Allo, 'Allo! Saint Arashi... Picasso!
Damn that beep!
She's all unique:
Dark sideStenoCherNIMIC.

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon studying day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!
Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon study day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon studying day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!
Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon study day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!


EL SIGNIFICADO DEL ASEREJÉ

 Quien haya nacido y crecido millennial (y yo vi la luz del día en ese año prodigioso con Expo y Olimpiadas que fue para España el 1992, cortesía de Colón) recordará un año de su niñez con el debut de las Ketchup y la coreografía que acompaña al estribillo sin sentido del Aserejé… o… espera… ¿tiene sentido?

Y aserejé-ja-dejé
De jebe tu de jebere seibiunouva majavi an de bugui an de güididípi
Aserejé-ja-de jé
De jebe tu de jebere seibiunouva majavi an de bugui an de güididípi
Aserejé-ja-dejé
De jebe tu de jebere seibiunouva majavi an de bugui an de güididípi

Si sabes inglés y conoces tu cultura popular como la palma de tu mano, sí lo tiene. Son los primeros versos de “Rapper’s Delight”, un rap ochentero de The Sugar Hill Gang, y rezan así en su idioma original:

I said-a hip, hop, the hippie, the hippie
To the hip hip hop-a you don’t stop the rock
It to the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie
To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

Lo que las Ketchup, y su personaje Diego, hacen en el Aserejé es cantar la letra original en inglés tal y como suena a su oído español andaluz. “I said-a hip” se vuelve “/aserehé/”, Aserejé. Esta clase de momento teniente bilingüe (diferente del momento teniente monolingüe o “pomporruta imperial”, del “voy por rutas imperiales” franquista malentendido como “pomporrutas imperiales”) se llama “soramimi“, palabra prestada del japonés. Otros ejemplos de soramimi serían:

  • En la canción de Bon Jovi “Livin’ on a Prayer”, el verso “Gina works the diner all day” (Gina trabaja en el local todo el día) se escucha en español para quien no sepa inglés como “China va insultando a los gays”.
  • En “El ciclo sin fin”, primera canción del musical El Rey León, la frase inicial “Nants’ Ingonyama” (Aquí viene un león, en zulú) se escucha en español como “La cigüeña va”. Muchas aves y el nacimiento del personaje protagonista aparecen en la escena, razones de más para justificar este soramimi erróneo.

Origen de la palabra "tino"

 Origen de la palabra TINO, empleada sobre todo cuando no lo hay. Dos ejemplos:

(Los leñadores) cortaron los árboles sin tino (un libro de texto).

Con (…) berza, castaña (el cerdo de la lechera) engordará sin tino (Samaniego).

Obviamente este “tino” quiere decir “moderación” y no tiene nada que ver con el nombre propio masculino homónimo (mira la inicial minúscula). Pero vamos a averiguar su origen.

Según la RAE, “tino” es de origen INCIERTO. Wiktionary añade como posible etimología: “tal vez de atinar, probablemente del latín destino, -are (“destinar”) mediante suplantación del prefijo des- por a- (siendo que des- pudo haberse percibido como significado opuesto).”

martes, 22 de noviembre de 2022

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF DARK SUBJECT MATERIAL

There are, in my own humble opinion, four main criteria necessary to make a fiction extremely dark and edgy, or rude and crude, or unsuitable for people below their mid-teens, which is the same. Since there are four of them and they tend to crop up together and be wicked, I call them the Four Horsemen of Dark Subject Material. All four of them are more or less taboo to a younger target demographic. And who are these Horsemen? They are (in no particular order): Foul Language, Drug Use, Sex, and Death.

  1. Foul Language involves all instances of swearing and using taboo words, including (but not limited to) the famous seven dirty words: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cock, motherfucker, and tits. One that did not make this list but is also quite common is ass, or arse. These are only the tip of the scheissberg...
  2. Drug Use involves the consumption not only of illegal drugs (cocaine, maryjane, meth...) but also of the so-called legal or social drugs (nicotine and alcohol), and even of fictional drugs (rauha, tracker jacker venom...); long story short, any substance that stimulates the mind and creates a habit that can spiral into addiction.
  3. Sex involves anything related to erotica, be it straight or LGBTQ+, from the first foreplay of curious late-teens to the presence of sex toys and shops where one is able to purchase them, from the presence of dominatrixes and S&M dungeons in villains' dens of iniquity to the practice of "dropping the soap" in the men's shower at the county jail (Highlight if you didn't get the "dropping the soap" joke yet.) The joke here is that, when the guy that dropped the soap bends down to pick it, naked, in the shower, a more muscular and taller cellmate ambushes and ass-rapes him from behind. It's a very distasteful and painful joke that, nevertheless, Hollywood has not wearied of.
  4. Death refers to those deaths that are more impactful than others. The death of a child or adolescent, a violent murder, the carnage of war or of a Mafia shootout, poisonings with graphic effects like arsenic or strychnine... That kind of deaths that it actually hurts to watch or to read about. Unless you have watched and/or read so much dark subject material that you have become desensitized.

lunes, 21 de noviembre de 2022

OWL HUSBANDS, REBECCA'S CAMELS, THE 7TH COMMANDMENT

 The title of this post has to do with errata that crop up in some editions of sacred texts, the Holy Books of Judaism and Christianity in particular. Wherever there have been printing presses, or keyboards in more recent times, you can be certain that the Typo Fairies and the literal printers' devil (as in, a small imp from Hell that causes typos and errata) Titivillus will seize that chance to make some mischief. Here are four major examples that have caught my attention:

OWL HUSBANDS?

Apparently zoophilia was condemned in the Old Testament but not in the New? 1 Peter 3:5, from a 1944 edition (WW2-era, printing presses were then still in use):

"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their owl husbands."

Actually it's supposed to be "their OWN husbands." The error was caused by a damaged letter lower-case n in the printing press.


REBECCA'S CAMELS (OR ARE THEY DAMSELS?)

Genesis, 24:61, an 1823 edition (in between the Regency and Victorian era). Picture the scene: Eliezer, a manservant to Abraham and Sarah, comes to town looking for a bride for their son Isaac. He finds Rebecca, daughter of a local wealthy household, who, after quenching their thirst from their long journey, agrees to become Isaac's bride, scouted by the servant Eliezer for her kindness to him and his entourage. As the heiress she is, Rebecca travels from her hometown to her fiancé's nomadic campsite lock, stock, and barrel, with all her camels and damsels (handmaids). How does this nineteenth-century edition tell it?

"And Rebecca arose, and her camels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man (ie Eliezer): and the servant took Rebecca and went his way."

What a balancing act! It should have been "And Rebecca arose, and her DAMSELS, and they rode upon the camels..." But it could have been worse. It could have been the second "camels" that was replaced with "damsels" instead, yielding: "And Rebecca arose, and her damsels, and THEY RODE UPON THE DAMSELS," leaving readers to ponder if those poor damsels broke their spines or even straight out died at the end of the day.


SUBVERTING THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT

In 1631 King James editions known as Wicked Bibles, a crucial little word, ie NOT, is missing from the Seventh Commandment (Exodus 20:14), so that it appears as:

"Thou shalt commit adultery."

In other words: Cheating on your marital partner is encouraged by the Word and Law of the LORD.

The publishers/printers of the Wicked Bible lost their book-printing license to the British Crown for a lifetime due to this little critical blunder and the one below:


THE LORD HIMSELF... MOONING?

Speaking of the Creator, those same Wicked Bibles appear to have been messed up by Typo Fairies at a spot in Deuteronomy 5:24 where He shows up in His greatness, let the word "greatness" sink in, and replaced "greatness" with something far more ludicrous:

"the LORD our God hath shewed us His glory and His great-asse."

The thought of the LORD mooning at the Israelites, His Chosen Ones, is hilarious.

sábado, 12 de noviembre de 2022

MUNDO DEL AMOR (SOAP WITHIN A SHOW)

 



NARRATOR: Previously on Mundo del Amor

(PAUSE)


NARRATOR: One-eyed orphan, Alejandro,





is thrown out of the orphanage for being different.

Rejected by all, Alejandro lives alone in the streets of Tijuana.




Until one day, he becomes a man…











NARRATOR: Alejandro starts his new company,



El Solo Lobo... (OFFSCREEN WOLF HOWL: Auuuuu!)



and makes a million pesos!



He buys a jet,



he buys a tiger,



and becomes Tijuana's greatest lover!



CROWD OF FANGIRLS: ¿Te casarías con todas nosotras?



ALEJANDRO: ¡No! ¡Yo soy El Solo Lobo!



(OFFSCREEN WOLF HOWL: Auuuu!)






NARRATOR: Will Alejandro ever find true love or is he destined to be alone forever?

LADYLOVE: Sounds like a pretty good destiny to me, Alejandro.

NARRATOR: Find out on the next Mundo del Amor.










domingo, 6 de noviembre de 2022

IN MEMORIAM GUSTAVI ADOLPHI - MMXXII

 To the memory of Gustavus Adolphus Karlsson of Vasa


*Nyköping, Sweden, 9th of December 1594 
 + Lützen, Saxony, 6th of November 1632

His spouse Mary Eleanor (next to the throne), their daughter Christina Augusta 
(in his arms), his right-hand man Chancellor Axel Oxenstierna (next to the throne),
 his courtiers and his people, his officers and soldiers, will always
 keep his memory alive, as long as Sweden and freedom exist.

Beloved ruler of nations and leader of armies,
consort, father, friend, and lover




We were lost when the dark descended and the light gathered into a storm You appeared like a sunlit morning at the winds of a world at war...

Inspired by thirst
for glory, on the field of battle quaffed
instead death's bitter draught.

The last word was missing in his epic song:
the word that crowns every achievement.
The mourners have done their duty, right or wrong:
they wrote it in blood and bereavement.



He left us when we (and he) expected it the least
in the prime of his life and at the climax of his career,
before he could be tarnished by the failing vigour of an older age
or by the corruption brought upon him by success. 
A single bullet, just like any other, 
suddenly struck his back and entered his noble chest, 
to quench a flame that never could or should have burned brighter.