STOP THE PLANET OF THE APES

STOP THE PLANET OF THE APES
(I WANT TO GET OFF!)

(Starring Troy MacClure)


I just said to myself one day not long ago... "I have to post the lyrics to this musical theatre parody (the first of its kind in The Simpsons, followed by Kickin' It and King of the Cats) for any dear Rambles readers who want to do at least an audio version of this impressive show:


ACT THE FIRST

Gorilla 1:

Help, the human's about to escape!

Troy:

Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!

Gorilla 2:

(gasps) He can talk!

Orangutans:

He can talk! He can talk!

He can talk! He can talk!

He can talk! He can talk!

Troy:

I can siiii-iii-iii-iiing!

Chimp Nurse:

Ooh, help me, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutans:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Oh, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutan 1:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy:

What's wrong with me?

Dr. Zaius:

I think you're crazy!

Troy:

Want a second opinion!

Dr. Zaius:

You're also lazy!

Orangutans:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Oh, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutan 1:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Troy:

Can I play the piano 

anymore?

Dr. Zaius:

Of course you can!

Troy:

Well, I couldn't before!

(plays the piano)

Orangutans:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Oh, Dr. Zaius!

Orangutan 1:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Orangutans:

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!

Oh, Dr. Zaius!

ACT THE SECOND

Troy:

I hate every ape I see

From chimpan-ay to chimpan-zee...

No, you'll never make a monkey out of me.

(PAUSE.)

Oh, my gods, I was wrong:

It was Earth all along.

You finally made a monkey...

Orangutan 1:

Yes we finally made a monkey...

Troy and Apes:

Yes, you finally made a monkey out of me!

Troy:

I love you, Dr. Zaius!

(CURTAIN FALLS)