There's also a large Enjonine-Montponine-Éposette subplot about whom she will come to terms with; 'Parnasse is the prefect of Slytherin and as Enj's evil counterpart a key player.
Cosette has two stepdads - Valvert is canon! Although it took a while for Javert to mellow up to Valjean and say I do.
Furthermore Count Jean de Satigny and Lady Cecily Alistair make appearances - and even become husband and wife during the climax! ---she was previously the fiancée of a Courf who is here team captain and head chaser for Hufflepuff and flirts with Cosette (much to Marius's chagrin) - also he has a pet puffskein called Petit-Chou (who is soooooooo kawaiiiii)
Furthermore Count Jean de Satigny and Lady Cecily Alistair make appearances - and even become husband and wife during the climax! ---she was previously the fiancée of a Courf who is here team captain and head chaser for Hufflepuff and flirts with Cosette (much to Marius's chagrin) - also he has a pet puffskein called Petit-Chou (who is soooooooo kawaiiiii)
The premise of the whole series can be summed up as Utena at Hogwarts with the cast of Les Misérables and a few guest stars from other series. Interestingly, the title comes from an observation made by various characters, the 12th major arcana on Tarot, and the leitmotif of characters (mainly Grantaire and Marius) saying they are "as useless as the semen of hanged men" -- when Courfeyrac actually points out, and even experiments ejaculating and nearly hanging himself in the forbidden forest -- that that is how mandrakes are made (the original Spanish title outright quotes Sabina's "Así estoy yo sin ti": inútil como el semen de los ahorcados...)
There is much to take in for instance about the leading cast - the trio in charge are born under the three air signs, which just seemed to fit their personalities...
Name: Paragon Ganymede Enjolras
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: golden blond
Eye Colour: Icy blue
Patronus: phoenix
Star Sign: Aquarius
Purity of Blood: pure-blood, one quarter veela (his maternal grandmother was a veela whom her husband captured, but who left her husband and children to be free once more)
Siblings: none
Extracurricular activities: Leader of revolutionary squad AS-SORTED, duelling club, prefect of Slytherin until drugged and discredited by Montparnasse
Sexual orientation: ace
Sexual orientation: ace
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: freedom and gunpowder
Pets: Artemis, female carrier eagle-owl
Dressed at the ball as: Apollo
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): Judgement
Name: Jules-François Combeferre
House: Ravenclaw
Hair Colour: nutbrown
Eye Colour: hazel
Patronus: wild ferret
Star Sign: Gemini
Purity of Blood: muggle-born
Siblings: many -he is a middle sibling, the fourth of seven
Extracurricular activities: right-hand man at AS-SORTED, Railway club, Hypnotism club (flexibilitas cerea as main fascination), muggle technology club, literary translation... lots of similar cliques. Quite the extracurricular enthusiast.
Sexual orientation: gay
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: burning fireplace
Pets: Urania, azure tree frog (deceased of hypothermia one winter)
Dressed at the ball as: Hermes
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): Temperance
Name: Sejanus Cassio Hercule Baron de Courfeyrac
House: Hufflepuff
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: black or dark chocolate
Patronus: house cat (Asian breed, like a Siamese or similar)
Star Sign: Libra
Purity of Blood: quatroon or quintroon (a single muggle-industrialist ancestor, a railway baron great-grandfather)
Siblings: one younger sister, Portia Illuminata Baroness de Courfeyrac
Extracurricular activities: left-hand man at AS-SORTED, Quidditch (captain and head chaser, Number 3 of the Hufflepuff Seven), fashion club, Prefect of Hufflepuff (the Party Prefect!)
Sexual orientation: bi
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: triple chocolate
Pets: Petit-Chou, male neutered pygmy puffskein; Cleo (Cleopatra), seal point Siamese house cat
Dressed at the ball as: Puss in Boots
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Sun
Name: René "Grand R - Grantaire"
House: Gryffindor
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: hazel
Patronus: shapeless (like Neville Longbottom's) - then Enjolras with many wings full of eyes, as R's personality evolves
Star Sign: unknown
Purity of Blood: unknown (also, a werewolf)
Siblings: one older brother, Rémi (deceased)
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, getting drunk, socializing, trying to impress Enjolras, duelling (an ace at duelling)
Sexual orientation: Enjolsexual
Sexual orientation: Enjolsexual
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: Enjolras' favourite perfume
Pets: Quaxo/Mr. Mistoffelees AKA "Poe", black odd-eyed house cat (nekomata); Merlot, male carrier scops owl
Dressed at the ball as: Frida Kahlo (ENJ THOUGHT HE WAS A GIRL CALLED FRIDA!!)
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Hanged Man
Name: Éponine Thénardier
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: raven with green tips
Eye Colour: hazel with green highlights
Patronus: weasel in autumn coat
Star Sign: Scorpio/Ophiuchus
Siblings: two younger ones, Azelma and Gavril "Gavroche," both in Slytherin and under her guardianship
Purity of Blood: pureblood
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, betting on Quidditch matches, Quidditch - beater for Slytherin (left beater), astrology
Sexual orientation: bi
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: petrichor (after it rains)
Dressed at the ball as: Catwoman
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): Death XIII
Name: Jehanne Prouvaire (née Jehan; trans girl)
House: Hufflepuff - Ravenclaw (changes right before the finale)
Hair Colour: Titian strawberry blond
Eye Colour: green
Patronus: bowtruckle with a flower on top
Star Sign: Leo
Siblings: none
Purity of Blood: pure-blood
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, herbology club, writing romantic poems, queer pride, astronomy and astrology, Law of Signatures, telling children fairytales through kamishibai and puppets, literary translation
Sexual orientation: pan
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: pompom roses
Pets: flowering plants
Dressed at the ball as: Jehanne of Arc
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Lovers
Name: Myung Jo-Lee "Jo-Lee-lee-lee-lee"
House: Gryffindor
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: black (almond eyes)
Patronus: octopus
Star Sign: Virgo
Siblings: one living younger sister, the other deceased
Purity of Blood: muggle-born
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, helping kappas at infirmary, fussing about his health and trying out new remedies at potions and herbology
Sexual orientation: bi
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: lavender
Dressed at the ball as: Dr. Caligari's assistant
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Hermit
He also has the Joestar star on his neck: Jo-Lee Joestar?
Name: Wilbur Le Var Lesgle (AKA Bossuet, secret identity Chewblacka)
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: none (is bald from chemo)
Eye Colour: black with golden highlights
Patronus: bald eagle
Star Sign: Cancer
Purity of Blood: pure-blood
Siblings: none
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, duelling club
Sexual orientation: bi
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: four-leaf clovers
Pets: do the kappas count? Also Chup, a stray chupacabras
Dressed at the ball as: Mace Windu
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Magician
Name: Anne-Euphrasie Fauchelevent (aka Cosette)
House: Hufflepuff - Ravenclaw (changes right before the finale)
Hair Colour: golden blond
Eye Colour: greenish-blue
Patronus: skylark
Star Sign: unknown
Siblings: none
Purity of Blood: unknown
Extracurricular activities: none (she focuses on her studies) until she is made Prefect of Ravenclaw
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: her mother's lily of the valley and chestnut blossom perfume
Sexual orientation: straight
Dressed at the ball as: herself, in a tweaked ball gown that had been her late mother's
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Star (shared with Marius)
Name: Marius Pontmercy
House: Gryffindor
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: greenish-blue
Patronus: blue-footed booby
Star Sign: Leo-Virgo cusp
Siblings: none
Purity of Blood: half-blood
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, literary translation, rune translation
Sexual orientation: straight
Sexual orientation: straight
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: Pontmercyia flowers
Dressed at the ball as: himself (wore no costume)
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Star (shared with Cosette)
Name: Montparnasse
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: black
Patronus: Arctic iceball dragon (polar nitrogen-breathing subspecies of Chinese fireball)
Star Sign: unknown
Purity of Blood: unknown
Siblings: none
Extracurricular activities: Prefect of Slytherin (after drugging and discrediting Enjolras), disciplinarian, head of duelling club, Quidditch - seeker for Slytherin, cupbearer and/or valet de chambre to Count Jean de Satigny, sadomasochism (inflicting Enj at the Satigny estate with unforgivable curses)
Sexual orientation: classified
Sexual orientation: classified
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: blood
Dressed at the ball as: Loki (NOT Marvel's, but at least slightly influenced - the Loki of original Norse myths)
About the supporting cast -
- Bahorel is beater for Gryffindor and sweethearts with its prefect Henriette, both of them are Aries, who also contrived to become the other beater on the same team in spite of her diminutive size - the two of them look like Ryuuji and Taiga from Toradora! - their respective arcana at the barricade are Justice and Strength; their respective patroni are a Hungarian horntail dragon and an Indochinese tiger (also Henriette survives). Amortentia scents? His is soil, hers is quaffle leather. He's also rivals/frenemies with Montparnasse. At the masquerade ball, he dressed up as Mr. Bear and Henriette as Rigoletta the Little Jester, characters from a Muggle toddlers' TV show.
- Feuilly is a Hufflepuff and in favour of the rights of house-elves, merfolk, centaurs, etc. as being equal to humans; his arcanum is the Hierophant. His Patronus is a Glow Cloud. His Amortentia scent: sandalwood. At the masquerade ball, he dressed up as a merman to campaign for merfolk's rights.
- Musichetta is a well-known singer/composer whom both Jo-Lee and Bossuet are in a ménage à trois with - she is a Libra, Quidditch captain and head chaser for Ravenclaw, as well as the tarot expert and the one who suggested tarot codenames for the AS-SORTED Resistance. Her patronus is a lyrebird; her arcanum the High Priestess. She has three pet male Edible Frogs in succession, adopting each after his predecessor's death, and names her pet frogs Verdi (Verdi/Verdi II/Verdi III) and trains them since egghood and they're part of the Hogwarts Frog Choir. She was a foundling raised by a circus/cabaret troupe, the same one that Javert had belonged to. Her Amortentia scent is caramel popcorn. At the masquerade ball, she dressed up like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's getup, with orange tabby Kürbis borrowed from a Ravenclaw friend.
- Azelma and Gavroche Thénardier, both in Slytherin, --- the former with middle-sibling syndrome writ large, the latter a perky young boy who hangs out with his senpaitachi at AS-SORTED (where he is the youngest member). Their patroni are a weasel in summer coat and a sparrow, respectively. Gav's major arcanum at the barricade is the Fool. They dressed up as Hansel and Gretel in Bavarian outfits for the masquerade ball.
- The kindly and well-read Jean Valjean is mostly headmaster --except in season one when he was cashiered by the Ministry and replaced by Javert, who then seggregated the students by house until Enj and AS-SORTED came around and, some time later, Valjean was reinstated--. He is a Cancer; his patronus is a snowy owl.
- Étienne-Émile Javert is also a werewolf with a VEUM (Varulv Efterlyst Utom Människogestalt) level danger brand, which has led to his existential insecurities. He is a Capricorn. Born unto a Tarot card reader single mother in Azkaban (she died in prison of her poor health and left him her deck, which he still keeps in his chest pocket) he was raised by a cabaret/circus troupe and used Tarot to get by until he was adopted by wealthy guardians. He and Valjean become partners, then exes, thoughout the second and third arc of the series, breaking up at the finale (and giving Cosette two dads!). He has no patronus: his werewolf form suffices in battle.
- Skimbleshanks is a nekomata and the disciplined conductor of the Express. He is also a telepath and living lie detector.
- Hatori Sohma is the reserved, one-eyed head doctor or Healer at the infirmary/hospital wing and a cursed sea dragon seahorse (actually, baby tatsu) animagus. His Patronus is also a sea dragon seahorse (actually, baby tatsu). He turns into the same fish (actually, real sea dragon) if he gets really stressed.
- the kappas are an invasive species who at first ripped out shirikodama/rectal orbs from students, then turned nurses at the infirmary (much like healthcare centre Pokémon!).
- the Count Jean de Satigny is an artistic, gay aristocrat in his autumn years, interested in fine arts and queer candid photography, erastes to his young attractive servants whom he treats in special ways (each servant turns out to be part of the promiscuous photography sessions that the count engages in), who employs Parnasse as a valet (later on, as his protégé) and Enj as a cupbearer for a while --in the rescue of Enjolras/Operation Birnam Woods arc--. Jean is handsome, fashionable, and presumably wealthy, and all the area landowners compete to go into business with him. The estate is located in a northern province, where Jean spends his fortune on fancy clothes and fine porcelain. There are naked pictures of the servants and strange sex toys in his private photography “laboratory.” Jean de Satigny is passionate about classic literature, fine art, Italian opera, ostentatious luxuries, and his kinky photography using his young attractive servants. He also owns a fluffy, adorable right-hand chinchilla (think Blofeld's cat Solomon or General Flopsy, but also Choupette Lagerfeld or Tinker Bell Hilton) called Clochette (Tinker Bell in French). Lady Alistair, whom he marries to cover up his orientation in high society, leaves him after discovering this last passion while Parnasse disabled him with a slight foxglove poisoning, and he is not seen again until Enjolras must identify his body, having just killed him in the dark with Avada Kedavra - which leads in turn to Enj's own demise at the hands of the Condesce's followers -. The Zeus to Enj's and Parnasse's Ganymedes
- Mrs. Jarley runs a travelling waxwork and was once Feuilly's guardian. A lovable eccentric, her lifesize figure of Charles XII plays a key role as a decoy in Operation Birnam Woods
- Noirtier de Villefort is a frenemy of Marius's maternal grandfather guardian; he had a stroke and communicates by morse-ing with his left eyelids, the only body parts he can move
- Lady Cecily Alistair was Courf's fiancée for a while --- then, after the Condesce conquered everything, she became the Count's bride and wife - then at the end an Anne-of-Cleves style power figure, and Clochette de Satigny's and the Count's art collection's next owner - she gives two thirds of the collection away to charities. She came to the defense of Hogwarts after finding out her husband's dark secrets and was given the Empress arcanum. She is an Aquarius, left-handed, and enjoys pencil drawing. She is also a squib. Her Amortentia scent is charcoal.
- Her Imperious Condescension conquered the Earth of this Dimension/Timeline (Earth of the 92nd Universe) on the eve of the finale, being opposed by AS-SORTED and assisted by Parnasse and the Thénardier sisters (Gav had already joined AS-SORTED)
- Alluka is a powerful reality warper, with the appearance of a whimsical child, who can grant wishes, yet always at a price. She is a trans girl and also caused the pseudo-gender change of Jehanne Prouvaire (when he emasculated himself and gave up his manhood and a lot of blood to heal Enjolras at the start of the initial arc). She is also the author of the story, who can break the fourth wall and appear among her characters at will...
- Charles XII was a king of Sweden who happened to look and act just like Enjolras. Mrs. Jarley keeps an effigy of him in her waxworks...
- Catherine Pontmercy is the daughter of Cosette and Marius who is a first-year student on the Hogwarts Express in the finale, accompanying her professor parents. She also gets the Star arcanum as a bookmark.
ANON METHOUGHT THE LAWN JOCKEYS BEGAN TO MOVE - Marius, 'Ponine, and some others (including Feuilly) infiltrate the Satigny estate dressed as jockeys with Mrs. Jarley's effigy costumes, having also dressed the Charles XII effigy as a jockey in red - they intend to swap the clothes of the effigy for Enj's in order to free him from the mansion
the Count's guards think that the jockeys just moved ("must have started early")
Éponine came up with the idea from Macbeth's Birnam Woods - hence the name of the infiltration operation
SHENANINGAN - taken from shenanigan and Sharingan - this is a power that at first Courf coined...
and which consists of
and which consists of
story arcs:
- Secession of Houses --- Javert takes the helm and attempts apartheid at Hogwarts by seggregating Houses extremely; AS-SORTED is founded by Enjolras to set things right
- Kappa Invasion/Shenaningan Awakening/Quidditch Season (Hogwarts winds up using the kappas in healthcare, much like the kitchen house-elves and the healthcare centre Pokémon --Chansey evolution line, Audino, Comfey--)
- World Through the Mirror mini-arc -- Cosette comes to a steampunk townhouse where her parents Fantine and Felix are pretty much alive and married; but the family is dysfunctional and the Other Cosette, her counterpart, is a pampered sociopath with orphan Éponine as whipping girl; also Marius was raised by Col. Pontmercy, who wiped out the Gillenormands, and now holds the rank of lieutenant... he's sensitive and artistic, much to his commanding officer father's consternation (the Colonel doesn't know Marius is gay and sweet on this world's Courf!)... A marriage between the Marius and Cosette in this timeline has been arranged, but Cosette of the Seed universe gets swapped with the bride of the mirror universe, who prefers an independent life, on account of the latter's coaxing (like in the Goose Girl fairytale), and the "evil" Cosette makes her way to Hogwarts in Hufflepuff uniform... The barricade lads across the mirror are here male prostitutes living in a pleasure house next to the Tholomyès residence and working their way through university.
- Abduction of Ganymede ("Runnymede" as Grantaire misheard it - this becomes a running gag) - ie de Satigny making his move
- Operation Birnam Woods - ie freeing Enj from the Northern Provinces estate
- Rise of the Condesce/Quidditch Season (mostly one-shots as the Condesce with Parnasse's aid rises to power, one-episode menaces à la Diamond is Unbreakable, referencing other films or episodes; one is for instance a nod to "The Seven Knots of Horus" with Enjolras projecting astrally and going inside Combeferre's airways to heal him from within of a severe poisoning)
- (Tournament film - Enj v. Miyu v. Csele)
- Diaspora Across Timelines/Universes --- including the following:
- Courf winds up as a corrupt knight trapped in his own rusty armour in a Wizard of Oz-/Journey to the West-style universe; Enj is a naive girl here, Prouvaire a lion cub who wants to change into a lioness and lead a pack to claim her rightful throne, Bossuet is a kappa, Combeferre is the narrator, GrandR a guard/nutcracker doll, and the Condesce is the Wicked Witch of the West
- The Aubreyiad/Battle Tendency universe: steampunk floating islands and skyships à la Dragon Hunters. Combeferre is the one who winds up here as the surgeon to Captain Enjolras, looking for the counterpoison for the rings a rival captain put on his aorta and trachea, a cure that can only be acquired by confronting said enemy (it was Parnasse of course) - everyone is jacked like a JoJo's character and Enjolferre is canon OTP à la Jack Aubrey/Stephen Maturin.
- The Snow Queen Condesce universe; Enj winds up here and at first it appears like completely ordinary Hogwarts except that Enj and R are officially a couple -- the plot follows basically the Snow Queen fusion fic La Fée Verte, except that the Condesce replaces the Green Faery as "Snow Queen" and the mirror shards in eyes and hearts are present - 'Parnasse having shattered the Mirror of Erised and become its first victim
- The Wishing-Tree (arbrasouhait) universe - the Thénardier siblings sans Zelma wind up here; people look like rag dolls, the Thénardier parents still are free and have raised them right... and, during a conjunction of twin suns, Éponine competes for the title of Sower against counterparts of others (Combeferre and Joly are alchemists who make the wishing-seeds, so they don't ride but dispense the seeds and act as judges) riding on flying big cats, to sow the seeds of wishing-trees whose root systems hold the planet together. There is also a strong element of Wacky Races here (like in the Piffle arc of Tsubasa)
- The Queen Star Group universe - R (the one from the Seed timeline who incarnated here) is a Lefou-like fat groupy; short-haired Enj with moustache is counterpart Freddie / Courf, Ferre, Marius are counterpart Taylor, May, Deacon; the rest of the barricade lads are groupies ---- and of course there is a lot of influence from aidoru anime, alongside Enj's terminal illness (cough of death already featured in the first appearance - he dies on the stage)
Final Conflict ----- corresponds to the "barricade subplot and nearly everyone dying" part of canon. Everyone returns to the Seed universe's Earth and a final course begins; an anti-war play is staged, The Year of Great Medlars, written by Courfeyrac (his first and only tragedy) and starring him as Dauphin Francis of Valois, Combeferre as Count Sebastian de' Montecuccoli, and Musichetta as Caterina de' Medici. Lady Alistair marries Count de Satigny and his personal troupe puts on The Year of Great Medlars at the Satigny estate. After the play, Enjolras loses his cool being provoked by Montparnasse, tearing off his prefect badge and claiming back the prefecture of Slytherin by force, leading to a declaration of war...
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