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sábado, 27 de junio de 2020

Prince et Princesse - C'est l'heure des contes... illustrés


Drottningholm, près de Stockholm, Suède




C'est l'heure des contes à Saint-Remy de Provence revient,

Grâce au travail de l'association "C'est l'heure des contes". 
Deux fois par semaine du 2 Juin au 14 Juillet,
Téléchargez, contez, partez et voyagez dans la féérie des contes d'ici et d'ailleurs.


Que nous réserve la "Reine des Neiges" cette fois-ci ? 
Il sera question de "Prince et Princesse" car ... que ... est devenu prince !



C’est l’heure des contes ….illustrés

La Reine des Neiges 
Quatrième Histoire : Prince et Princesse 

Hans Christian Andersen 

Traducteur inconnu

Philippe Schumacher (édition)

(A partir de 6 ans – 16’20’)


- Est-ce qu’il habite chez une princesse ?

Oui, écoute, ...

...

Dans ce royaume où nous sommes habite une princesse d’une intelligence extraordinaire, mais il est vrai qu’elle a lu tous les journaux qui existent au monde (elle a tout oublié du reste), tellement elle est intelligente.



L’autre jour qu’elle était assise sur le trône – ce n’est pas si amusant d’après ce qu’on dit – elle se mit à fredonner une chanson : « Pourquoi ne pas me marier ? » - Tiens cela me donne une idée ! s’écria-t-elle.

Et elle eut envie de se marier, mais elle voulait un mari capable de répondre avec esprit quand on lui parlait, un mari qui ne se contenterait pas d’avoir l’air distingué – car c’est très ennuyeux.

Elle convoqua toutes les dames de la cour et lorsqu’elles eurent entendu de quoi il en retournait, elles furent enchantées. - Cà, çà me plait, dirent-elles, j’y avais déjà pensé.

Chaque mot que je dis est la pure vérité. J'ai une fiancée qui se promène librement dans le château, c’est elle qui m’a tout raconté.





Tout de suite les journaux parurent avec une bordure de cœurs et l’initiale de la princesse.

On y lisait que tout jeune homme de bonne apparence pouvait monter au château et parler à la princesse et, celui qui lui parlerait de façon à ce que l’on comprenne tout de suite qu’il était bien à sa place dans un château, que celui enfin qui parlerait le mieux, la princesse le prendrait pour époux.

Oui ! oui ! tu peux me croire, c’est aussi vrai que me voilà !

Les gens accouraient , quelle foule, quelle presse, mais sans succès le premier, ni le second jour.
- Ils parlaient tous facilement dans la rue, mais quand ils avaient dépassé les grilles du palais, vu les gardes en uniformes brodés d’argent, les laquais en livrée d’or sur les escaliers et les grands salons illuminés, - ils étaient tous déconcertés, ils se tenaient devant le trône où la princesse était assise et ne savaient que dire sinon répéter le dernier mot qu’elle avait prononcé, - et çà elle ne se souciait nullement de l’entendre répéter.

On eût dit que tous ces prétendants avaient avaler du tabac à priser et étaient tombés en léthargie – jusqu’à ce qu’ils se retrouvent dehors, dans la rue, alors ils retrouvaient la parole.

Il y avait queue depuis les portes de la ville jusqu’au château, je l’ai vu moi-même.


Quand ils arrivaient au château, ils avaient faim et soif mais on ne leur offrait même pas un verre d’eau tiède.

Les plus avisés avaient bien apporté des tartines, mais ils ne partageaient pas avec leurs voisins, ils pensaient :
- S’il a l’air affamé, la princesse ne le prendra pas.

- Mais...  Était-il devant tous ces gens-là ?

- Patience, patience, nous y sommes.

- Le troisième jour arriva un petit personnage, sans cheval ni voiture. Il monta d’un pas décidé jusqu’au château, ses yeux brillaient, il avait de beaux cheveux longs, mais ses vêtements étaient bien pauvres.

Il avait un petit sac sur le dos.




Ma fiancée m’a dit que lorsqu’il entra par le grand portail, qu’il vit les gardes en uniforme brodés d’argent, les laquais des escaliers vêtus d’or, il ne fut pas du tout intimidé, il les salua en disant :
- Comme cela doit être ennuyeux de rester sur l’escalier, j’aime mieux entrer.

Les salons étaient brillamment illuminés, les Conseillers particuliers et les Excellences marchaient pieds nus et portaient des plats en or, c’était quelque chose de très imposant.

Il avait des souliers qui craquaient très fort, mais il ne se laissa pas impressionner.

Oui, pour craquer, ils craquaient, mais, plein d’assurance il avança jusque devant la princesse qui était assise sur une perle grande comme une roue de rouet.

Toutes les dames de la cour avec leurs servantes et les servantes de leurs servantes, et tous les chevaliers avec leurs serviteurs et les serviteurs de leurs serviteurs, qui eux-mêmes avaient droit à un petit valet, se tenaient debout tout autour, et plus ils étaient près de la porte, plus ils avaient l’air fier. Le valet du domestique du premier serviteur qui se promène toujours en pantoufles, on ose à peine le regarder tellement il a l’air fier, debout dans la porte.


- Çà doit être affreux. Mais est-ce-que le petit personnage a tout de même eu la princesse ?

- Il a, paraît-il, parlé aussi bien que je parle dans ma langue, c’est ma fiancée qui me l’a dit.
Il était décidé et charmant, il n’était pas du tout venu en prétendant, mais seulement pour juger de l’intelligence de la princesse, et il la trouva remarquable…et elle le trouva très bien aussi.

- Oh ! conduis-... au château…

- C’est vite dit, mais comment ? ...  il faut bien que je ... dise qu’un... ne peut pas entrer là régulièrement.
 - Si, j’irai, ... Quand ... là, il sortira ...
- Attends moi là près de l’escalier ! Elle secoua le tête et s’envola.

Il faisait nuit noire quand ... revient.

Ma fiancée te fais dire mille choses et voici pour ... un petit pain qu’elle a pris à la cuisine. Ils ont assez de pain là-dedans ...
- Il est impossible que tu entres au château – ... – les gardes en argent et les laquais en or ne le permettraient pas, mais ..., tu vas tout de même y aller.
- Ma fiancée connaît un petit escalier dérobé qui conduit à la chambre à coucher et elle sait où elle peut en prendre la clé.

Alors ... s’en allèrent dans le jardin, dans les grandes allées où les feuilles tombaient l’une après l’autre, puis au château où les lumières s’éteignaient l’une après l’autre et ... conduisit ... jusqu’à une petite porte de derrière qui était entrebâillée.




Les voilà dans l’escalier où brûlait une petite lampe sur un buffet, au milieu du parquet se tenait ...

...

- Voulez-vous tenir la lampe, je marcherai devant. Nous irons tout droit, ici nous ne rencontrerons personne ;
- Il me semble que quelqu’un marche juste derrière nous.

Quelque chose passa près d’eux en bruissant, sur les murs glissaient des ombres : chevaux aux crinières flottantes et aux jambes fines, jeunes chasseurs, cavaliers et cavalières.

- Rêves que tout cela. Ils viennent seulement orienter vers la chasse les rêves de nos princes, nous pourrons d’autant mieux les contempler dans leur lit.
- Mais autre chose : si vous entrez en grâce et prenez de l’importance ici, vous montrerez-vous reconnaissante ?

Ils entrèrent dans la première salle tendue de satin rose à grandes fleurs, les rêves les avaient dépassés et couraient si vite que ... ne put apercevoir les hauts personnages.

Les salles se succédaient, l’une plus belle que l’autre, on en était impressionné…et ils arrivèrent à la chambre à coucher.

Le plafond ressemblait à un grand palmier aux feuilles de verre précieux, et au milieu du parquet se trouvaient, accrochés à une tige d’or, deux lits qui ressemblaient à des lis, l’un était blanc et la princesse y était couchée, l’autre était rouge et c’est dans celui-là que ...

... écarta quelques pétales rouges et aperçut une nuque brune.
Les rêves à cheval bruissaient dans la chambre.
Il s’éveilla, tourna la tête vers ...

Le prince ne lui ressemblait que par la nuque, mais il était jeune et beau.

...

- Pauvre petite, s’exclamèrent le prince et la princesse.

Ils louèrent grandement les ..., déclarant qu’ils n’étaient pas du tout fâchés mais qu’ils ne devaient tout de même pas recommencer. Cependant ils voulaient leur donner une récompense.
- Voulez-vous ... librement ? demanda la princesse, ou voulez-vous avoir la charge de ... de la cour, ayant droit à tous les déchets de la cuisine ?

Les deux ... firent la révérence et demandèrent une charge fixe ; ....

Le prince se leva de son lit et permit à ... d’y dormir. Il ne pouvait vraiment faire plus.

...

« Comme il y a des êtres humains ... qui sont bons. »

Le lendemain, on ... vêtit de la tête au pied de soie et de velours, ... fut invitée à rester au château et à couler des jours heureux mais ... demanda seulement une petite voiture attelée d’un cheval et une paire de bottines. ... voulait repartir de par le monde ....

On lui donna de petites bottines et un manchon, on l’habilla à ravir et au moment de partir, un carrosse d’or pur attendait devant la porte.

Les armes du prince et de la princesse y brillaient, cocher, domestiques et postillons – car il y avait aussi des postillons – portaient des livrées brodées de couronnes d’or.



Le prince et la princesse ... firent eux-mêmes monter en voiture et ... souhaitèrent bonne chance.

...



Le carrosse était bourré de craquelins sucrés, de fruits et de pains d’épice.

- Adieu ! Adieu ! criaient le prince et la princesse.

... les premières lieues passèrent aussi, ...

... aussi longtemps que fut en vue la voiture qui rayonnait comme le soleil lui-même.




SUR LES ILLUSTRATIONS QUI J'AI CHOISI

  • La jeune lectrice vient du livre "Frauen, die lesen, sind gefährlich."
  • L'initiale est celle de J.S. Bach.
  • Le château est toujours Drottningholm, en Suède.
  • Le carrosse doré appartient aussi à la Couronne suédoise.
  • Les tarots sont de l'Aquarian Tarot.
  • L'illustration qui montre le petit personnage en entrant dans la salle du trône et en avançant jusque devant la princesse est "At the Court" de Christian Birmingham.
  • Les pains d'épice sont d'une photo faite en Bavière.
Merci beaucoup!

Bientôt je vais détailler ce qui passe au carosse et à cocher, domestique et postillons... ça sera après vendredi prochain, le 3 juillet!

sábado, 30 de mayo de 2020

why the seed of the hanged is such a good ficseries

For starters, in El semen de los ahorcados, StrixAlluka puts all the barricade boys and some more characters studying at Hogwarts - but the group is SO DIVERSE as to include a romantic trans girl (Jehanne Prouvaire, Hufflepuff) - an Afro-Caribbean cancer patient then survivor (Lesgle "Bossuet" - secret identity Chewblacka after he drinks hair-growth potion) - a Korean boy whose education papa's pressure gave him Münchhausen syndrome (Jo-Lee AKA Jo-Lee-lee-lee-lee), aside from the usual suspects trio of the leader and his second and third in command (also Grantaire appears to be of Moorish descent, and not only a werewolf and an addict). Éponine is also part of the group, and she is more mature since she has younger siblings (Azelma and Gavril "Gavroche") to take care of and their parents are for lifetime in Azkaban (owooowoo) ---
There's also a large Enjonine-Montponine-Éposette subplot about whom she will come to terms with; 'Parnasse is the prefect of Slytherin and as Enj's evil counterpart a key player, here Éponine takes an Avada Kedavra aimed at Cosette, who does not return Éponine's love, and dies in Cosette's arms.
Cosette has two stepdads - Valvert is canon! Although it took a while for Javert to mellow up to Valjean and say I do.
Furthermore Count Jean de Satigny and Lady Cecily Alistair make appearances - and even become husband and wife during the climax! ---she was previously the fiancée of a Courf who is here team captain and head chaser and prefect for Hufflepuff and flirts with Cosette (much to Marius's chagrin) - also he has a pet puffskein called Petit-Chou (who is soooooooo kawaiiiii) 

The premise of the whole series can be summed up as Utena at Hogwarts with the cast of Les Misérables and a few (when I say "a few" I'm being ironic!) guest stars from other series. Interestingly, the title comes from an observation made by various characters, the 12th major arcana on Tarot, and the leitmotif of characters (mainly Grantaire and Marius) saying they are "as useless as the semen of hanged men" -- when Courfeyrac actually points out, and even experiments ejaculating and nearly hanging himself in the forbidden forest -- that that is how mandrakes are made (the original Spanish title outright quotes Sabina's "Así estoy yo sin ti": inútil como el semen de los ahorcados...)

There is much to take in for instance about the leading cast - the trio in charge are born under the three air signs, which just seemed to fit their personalities...

Name: Paragon Ganymede Enjolras
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: golden blond
Eye Colour: sapphire blue
Patronus: phoenix
Star Sign: Aquarius
Purity of Blood: almost pure-blood, quadroon / vilenjak, one quarter veela (his maternal grandmother was a veela whom her husband captured, but who left her husband and children to be free once more)
Siblings: none
Extracurricular activities: Leader of revolutionary squad AS-SORTED (president), duelling club, prefect of Slytherin until drugged and discredited by Montparnasse (reclaims his prefect's badge in his final year).
Sexual orientation: aro-ace
Three Sizes:  (chest),  (waist),  (hips)
Amortentia Scent: Epsom salts
Pets: Artemis, female carrier eagle-owl
Dressed at the ball as: Apollo
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): Judgement

Name: Jules-François Combeferre
House: Ravenclaw
Hair Colour: nutbrown
Eye Colour: hazel
Patronus: wild ferret (Books 1-2) / mute swan (Books 3-4)
Star Sign: Gemini
Purity of Blood: muggle-born
Siblings: many -he is a middle sibling, the fourth of seven
Extracurricular activities: right-hand man at AS-SORTED (vicepresident), Railway club, Hypnotism club (flexibilitas cerea as main fascination), muggle technology club, literary translation... lots of similar cliques. Quite the extracurricular enthusiast. 
Sexual orientation: gay
Three Sizes:  (chest),  (waist),  (hips)
Amortentia Scent: burning fireplace
Pets: Urania, azure tree frog (deceased of hypothermia one winter)
Dressed at the ball as: Hermes
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): Temperance

Name: Sejanus Cassio Hercule Baron de Courfeyrac
House: Hufflepuff
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: dark chocolate
Patronus: house cat (Asian breed, like a Siamese or similar)
Star Sign: Libra
Purity of Blood: octoroon (a single muggle-industrialist ancestor, a railway baron great-grandfather)
Siblings: one older sister, Portia Illuminata Baroness de Courfeyrac
Extracurricular activities: left-hand man at AS-SORTED (treasurer), Quidditch (captain and head chaser, Number 3 of the Hufflepuff Seven --the Quidditch team--), fashion club, Prefect of Hufflepuff (the Party Prefect!), fencing (ambidextrous, has his detachable wand mounted on his umbrella when he goes out, and a trusty sword-cane)
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes:  (chest),  (waist),  (hips)
Amortentia Scent: triple chocolate
Pets: Petit-Chou, male neutered pygmy puffskein; Cleo (Cleopatra), seal point Siamese house cat (died in Book 2 and was replaced by Petit-Chou)
Dressed at the ball as: Puss in Boots 
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Sun

Name: René "Grand R - Grantaire"
House: Gryffindor
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: hazel 
Patronus: shapeless (like Neville Longbottom's) - then Enjolras with many wings full of eyes, as R's personality evolves
Star Sign: Scorpio (born on Halloween)
Purity of Blood: muggle-born (also, a werewolf)
Siblings: one younger brother, Rémi "Petit R" (deceased)
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED (secretary), getting drunk, socializing, trying to impress Enjolras, duelling (an ace at duelling), is part of the Duelling Club, singing at the Three Broomsticks and at Madam Puddifoot's to earn money (is the lead singer of the Furiouz Fwooperz, their little band)
Sexual orientation: Enjolsexual
Three Sizes:  (chest),  (waist),  (hips)
Amortentia Scent: Enjolras' favourite perfume
Pets: Quaxo/Mr. Mistoffelees AKA "Poe", black odd-eyed house cat (nekomata); Merlot, male carrier scops owl (both pets at the same time).
Dressed at the ball as: Frida Kahlo (ENJ THOUGHT HE WAS A GIRL CALLED FRIDA!!)
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Hanged Man

Name: Éponine Thénardier
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: raven with green tips 
Eye Colour: hazel with green highlights
Patronus: weasel in autumn coat
Star Sign: Scorpio/Ophiuchus (born on the oficial Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp).
Siblings: two younger ones, Azelma and Gavril "Gavroche," both in Slytherin and under her guardianship
Purity of Blood: pureblood (also a werewolf).
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, betting on Quidditch matches, Quidditch - beater for Slytherin (left beater), astrology
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: petrichor (after it rains)
Dressed at the ball as: Catwoman
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): Death XIII

Name: Jehanne Prouvaire (née Jehan; trans girl who gave their male genitals to Alluka and became a real girl in order to save Enjolras)
House: Hufflepuff 
Hair Colour: Titian strawberry blond
Eye Colour: honey
Patronus: bowtruckle with a flower on top
Star Sign: Leo
Siblings: none
Purity of Blood: pure-blood
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, herbology club, writing romantic poems, queer pride, astronomy and astrology, Law of Signatures, telling children fairytales through kamishibai and puppets, literary translation 
Sexual orientation: pan
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: pompom roses
Pets: flowering plants
Dressed at the ball as: Jehanne of Arc
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Lovers

Name: Myung Jo-Lee "Jo-Lee-lee-lee-lee"
House: Gryffindor
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: black (almond eyes)
Patronus: octopus
Star Sign: Virgo
Siblings: one living younger sister, the other deceased
Purity of Blood: muggle-born
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, helping kappas at infirmary, fussing about his health and trying out new remedies at potions and herbology. In the Furiouz Fwooperz, he's the accordionist.
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: lavender
Dressed at the ball as: Dr. Caligari's assistant
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Hermit
He also has the Joestar star on his neck: Jo-Lee Joestar?

Name: Wilbur Lesgle (AKA Bossuet, secret identity Chewblacka)
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: none (is bald from chemo)
Eye Colour: black with golden highlights
Patronus: bald eagle
Star Sign: Cancer
Purity of Blood: pure-blood
Siblings: none
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, duelling club, crafting. In the Furiouz Fwooperz, he's the percussionist, on cajón, cymbals, and djembé.
Sexual orientation: bi
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: four-leaf clovers
Pets: do the kappas count? Also Chup, a stray chupacabras 
Dressed at the ball as: Mace Windu
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Magician

Name: Anne-Euphrasie Fauchelevent (aka Cosette)
House: Hufflepuff - Ravenclaw (changes in Book 3)
Hair Colour: golden blond
Eye Colour: greenish-blue
Patronus: skylark
Star Sign: Virgo-Libra cusp
Siblings: none
Purity of Blood: half-blood
Extracurricular activities: none (she focuses on her studies) until she is made Prefect of Ravenclaw
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: her mother's lily of the valley and chestnut blossom perfume
Sexual orientation: straight
Dressed at the ball as: Psyche, in a tweaked ball gown that had been her late mother's
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Star (shared with Marius)

Name: Marius-Thomas Pontmercy
House: Gryffindor
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: Sky blue
Patronus: blue-footed booby
Star Sign: Leo-Virgo cusp
Siblings: none
Purity of Blood: half-blood
Extracurricular activities: AS-SORTED, literary translation, rune translation
Sexual orientation: straight
Three Sizes: (chest), (waist), (hips)
Amortentia Scent: Pontmercyia flowers
Dressed at the ball as: the Nutcracker Prince
Major Arcanum Codename (at the barricade in the final arc): The Star (shared with Cosette)

Name: Caractacus Montparnasse
House: Slytherin
Hair Colour: raven
Eye Colour: emerald green
Patronus: basilisk
Star Sign: Aquarius (born the same day as Enjolras)
Purity of Blood: pure-blooded
Siblings: none
Extracurricular activities: Prefect of Slytherin (after drugging and discrediting Enjolras), disciplinarian, head of duelling club, Quidditch - seeker for Slytherin, cupbearer and/or valet de chambre to Count Jean de Satigny, sadomasochism (inflicting Enj at the Satigny estate with unforgivable curses)
Sexual orientation: classified
Three Sizes:  (chest),  (waist),  (hips)
Amortentia Scent: blood
Dressed at the ball as: Loki (NOT Marvel's, but at least slightly influenced - the Loki of original Norse myths)

About the supporting cast -
  • Bahorel is beater for Gryffindor (redheaded, scar over his right eyebrow) and sweethearts with its prefect Henriette, who also contrived to become the other beater on the same team in spite of her diminutive size - the two of them look like Ryuuji and Taiga from Toradora! - their respective arcana at the barricade are Justice and Strength; their respective patroni are a Hungarian horntail dragon and an Indochinese tiger (also Henriette survives). Amortentia scents? His is soil, hers is quaffle leatherHe's also rivals/frenemies with Montparnasse. At the masquerade ball, he dressed up as Mr. Bear and Henriette as Rigoletta the Little Jester, characters from a Muggle toddlers' TV show. Both are Aries.
  • Feuilly is a Hufflepuff and in favour of the rights of house-elves, merfolk, centaurs, etc. as being equal to humans; their arcanum (Feuilly is non-binary) is the Hierophant. Their Patronus is a Glow Cloud. And their Amortentia scent: sandalwood. At the masquerade ball, they dressed up as a merman to campaign for merfolk's rights. They're an Aquarius.
  • Musichetta is a well-known singer/composer and Renaissance woman whom both Jo-Lee and Bossuet are in a ménage à trois with - she is a Gemini, Quidditch captain and seeker for Ravenclaw, and prefect of her house, as well as the tarot expert and the one who suggested tarot codenames for the AS-SORTED Resistance. Her patronus is a lyrebird; her arcanum the High Priestess. She has three pet male Edible Frogs in succession, adopting each after his predecessor's death, and names her pet frogs Verdi (Verdi/Verdi II/Verdi III) and trains them since egghood and they're part of the Hogwarts Frog Choir. She gives her prefecture over to Cosette in Book 5. She was raised by a circus/cabaret troupe formed by her birth family (Muggle acrobat parents and a wizarding fortune-telling granny among others), the same one that Javert had belonged to. Her Amortentia scent is caramel popcorn. At the masquerade ball, she dressed up like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's getup, with orange tabby Kürbis borrowed from a Ravenclaw friend. In the end she becomes Headmistress of Hogwarts as an adult, leaning on a sword-crutch, after an injury (pelvic fracture) put an end to her career as a Seeker for the Holyhead Harpies. In the Furiouz Fwooperz, she composes the tunes, is the lyricist, and backup singer.
  • Irma Boissy is a Hufflepuff student and queen bee with nutbrown hair and a beauty mark - she is Courfeyrac's kouhai in the same year as Cosette. She was in a relationship with Grantaire for a while (in Book 2), having fed him a carrot cupcake laced with amortentia. Her family lives in Hogsmeade and she is the middle sibling of three. Her zodiac sign is Libra. Her hobbies include knitting and sewing. Her patronus is an arctic fox. At the Masked Ball, she dresses as Little Bo Peep, with a clutch shaped like a fluffy sheep. She becomes Minister of Magic as an adult. 
  • Eugénie Danglars is Prefect of Gryffindor and Keeper/captain of its quidditch team in Books 1-2 (when Enj and R are in fourth/fifth year). An heiress and only child from a pure-blood family, and quite the butch lesbian, she leaves in Book 2 as a seventh-grader, having come out, disowned by her parents, she gets married (as the groom, in a kilt) to her ladylove Louise that summer and starts a career in show business with her "fluffy cupcake."
  • Louise "Wiske" d'Armilly is Prefect of Ravenclaw in Books 1-2 (when Enj and R are in fourth/fifth year). Eugénie's ladylove and "cupcake" (Eugénie is the "muffin") and a feminine, artistic lipstick lesbian, who was originally her girlfriend's handmaid and whipping-girl. Being a half-blood, she is petrified by the Basilisk of Slytherin in Book 2, as a seventh-grader, but cured in the end, she marries her "knight in shining armour" Eugénie and they debut in show business together.
  • Charlie Millthorpe is a Ravenclaw from a cavalier aristocratic stock, who writes poems and fairytales and is very good friends with Combeferre. He is very kind and metaphysically inclined, and loves the philosophy of Kant.
  • James Norrington is a very serious and reserved Hufflepuff from a military family. He is the seeker, and later right chaser, on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. At first he dates Éponine, but later she leaves him and reveals her real sexuality to him
  • Hachirota Hoshino, AKA Hachimaki, is the keeper of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. He is also known as "Stonewall Hachi" for being an excellent goalkeeper. His patronus is a flying squirrel. He plays keeper for the Wimbourne Wasps as an adult, having survived the war (he served as a lookout and had a punctured lung). He marries Ai Tanabe and they have a son, who is a squib and thus cannot attend Hogwarts. Hachimaki has a younger brother, Kyutaro, who is a squib and an inventor.
  • Ai Tanabe is another chaser for Hufflepuff. She is good friends with Cosette, both sharing the same idealistic and altruistic personality and both being adopted. She survives the war and marries Hachi, becoming seeker for the Wasps by his side.
  • Ty Lee is seeker for Hufflepuff after Norrington changes position to chaser. Her impulsivity and hyperactivity prove valuable assets, as well as her petite size, for catching the Snitch. She is also part of Cosette's group of friends.
  • Azelma and Gavroche Thénardier, both in Slytherin, --- the former with middle-sibling syndrome writ large, the latter a perky young boy, a trickster who, after being entrusted to Madame Rosmerta and playing pranks around Hogsmeade, as a Hogwarts firstie hangs out with his senpaitachi at AS-SORTED (where he is the youngest member), especially Courfeyrac and Grantaire. Their patroni are a weasel in summer coat and a sparrow, respectively. She is a Gemini and he is an Aries. Gav's major arcanum at the barricade is the Fool. They dressed up as Hansel and Gretel in Bavarian outfits for the masquerade ball. Gavroche's ghost remains at Hogwarts, and crushes on the teenage Catherine Pontmercy, as revealed in the recent gaiden. Gavroche was given a spectral wand by the Bloody Baron on his deathday, so he can use magic whilst still being a ghost.
  • Finnegan Wake is a merman in the Great Lake and a member of AS-SORTED. He is an outcast in merfolk society due to his views on humans, and collects human objects.
  • The kindly and well-read Jean Valjean is mostly headmaster --except in season one when he was cashiered by the Ministry and replaced by Javert, who then seggregated the students by house until Enj and AS-SORTED came around and, some time later, Valjean was reinstated--. He is a Cancer; his patronus is a snowy owl. He also owns a messenger snowy owl called Heimdall.
  • Étienne-Émile Javert is also a werewolf with a VEUM (Varulv Efterlyst Utom Människogestalt) level danger brand, which has led to his existential insecurities. He is a Capricorn. Born unto a Tarot card reader single mother in Azkaban (she died in prison of her poor health and left him her deck, which he still keeps in his chest pocket) he was raised by a cabaret/circus troupe and used Tarot to get by until he was adopted by wealthy guardians. He and Valjean become partners, then exes, thoughout the second and third arc of the series, breaking up at the finale (and giving Cosette two dads!). He has no patronus: his werewolf form suffices in battle.
  • M. Mabeuf is the herbology professor, a crotchety old bachelor and a good friend of both Headmaster Valjean and the late Georges Pontmercy. Courfeyrac and other merry students call him the "Stegosaurus" on account of his old age and hunched back, and "Hemulen" after the Tove Jansson character. He is an expert in Herbology and lives over a century, surviving the war in this universe and supplying the pontmercya flowers for Cosette's bridal crown and bouquet.
  • Skimbleshanks is a nekomata and the disciplined conductor of the Express. He is also a telepath and living lie detector.
  • Hatori Sohma is the reserved, one-eyed head doctor or Healer at the infirmary/hospital wing and a cursed sea dragon seahorse (actually, baby tatsu) animagus. His Patronus is also a sea dragon seahorse (actually, baby tatsu). He turns into the same fish (actually, real sea dragon) if he gets really stressed. 
  • Mayuko Sohma, née Shiraki, is Hatori's wife and childhood friend and Charms professor at Hogwarts. She and her husband take maternity/paternity leave for a year after having a baby (their daughter Kinu). Prior to that she was seen giving Charms lectures pregnant.
  • Ayame Sohma is Hatori's cousin, a snake animagus, and the owner of Gladrags in Hogsmeade. He is a great dressmaker full of fashion sense, flamboyantly gay, and very sensitive to the cold. Can't stop flirting with his male customers.
  • Le Gang des Schubert, a band of unruly opera-wannabes consisting of Giovanni JonesDr. Falke, and Anatole Garron (from the 1941 Phantom of the Opera film). And Caralin Trelmanski, a sickly country girl in a low ponytail and female alumna of Durmstrang (with a rare magical disease) who sang the female parts. Greatly admired by the Furiouz Fwooperz. Fittingly, they disband after a falling out over a girl (Caralin, whom else?). They are all Squibs except Caralin and perform at Hogwarts during, for instance, at the New Year's Masked Ball. The style of their outfits is 1980s Neo-Romantic, Caralin in men's clothing. Caralin was injured by Enjolras (in vilenjak form) at the Masked Ball and died of her wounds + her disease, causing her bandmates to disband; this appeared in the Culture section of the Daily Prophet and caused many fans of the band who studied at Hogwarts (a lot of Slytherins, led by Montparnasse) to hate Enjolras and insult him with racist slurs (The only exception was Éponine). 
  • the kappas are an invasive species who at first ripped out shirikodama/rectal orbs from students, then turned nurses at the infirmary (much like healthcare centre Pokémon!).
  • the Count Jean de Satigny is an artistic, gay aristocrat in his autumn years, interested in fine arts and queer candid photography, erastes to his young attractive servants whom he treats in special ways (each servant turns out to be part of the promiscuous photography sessions that the count engages in), who employs Parnasse as a valet (later on, as his protégé) and Enj as a cupbearer for a while --in the rescue of Enjolras/Operation Birnam Woods arc--. Jean is handsome, fashionable, and presumably wealthy, and all the area landowners compete to go into business with him. The estate is located in a northern province, where Jean spends his fortune on fancy clothes and fine porcelain. There are naked pictures of the servants and strange sex toys in his private photography “laboratory.” Jean de Satigny is passionate about classic literature, fine art, Italian opera, ostentatious luxuries, and kinky photography using his young attractive servants. He also owns a fluffy, adorable right-hand chinchilla (think Blofeld's cat Solomon or General Flopsy, but also Choupette Lagerfeld or Tinker Bell Hilton) called Clochette (Tinker Bell in French). Lady Alistair, whom he marries to cover up his orientation in high society, leaves him after discovering this last passion while Parnasse disabled him with a slight foxglove poisoning, and he is not seen again until Enjolras must identify his body, having just killed him in the dark with Avada Kedavra - which leads in turn to Enj's own demise at the hands of the Condesce's followers -.  The Zeus to Enj's and Parnasse's Ganymedes
  • Mrs. Jarley runs a travelling waxwork and was once Feuilly's guardian. A lovable eccentric, her lifesize figure of Charles XII plays a key role as a decoy in Operation Birnam Woods.

Mrs Tanya Fawcett, a rich Jewish serial divorcée, a Muggle, and one of Feuilly's guardians (along with her boyfriend: they adopted Feuilly after Mrs. Jarley, and raised them until Feuilly received their Hogwarts letter). This thirty-six-year-old mother of two leaves her husband, a renowned engineer, and their children, for a man six years younger than she (the Major). She also contrasts physically with her boyfriend, she is dark and petite, while he is blond, Nordic looking, and six feet tall). Like Eugénie and Louise, she and her boyfriend call each other "cupcake" (Major Eastwood) and "muffin" (Mrs. Fawcett). A wealthy businesswoman, she is the breadwinner of the household (appearances can deceive). At first she didn't want kids, but she gradually warmed up to Feuilly. She is viewed as a gold-digger by the conservative. Looks a lot like Tanya from Mamma-Mia! but with more jewellery. And yes, she is related to Farrah Fawcett. Lives with her “cupcake” the Major in a quaint thatched cottage with a lovely garden, surrounded by moorlands, not far from the Manoir de Satigny.

Major Charles Eastwood, Mrs. Fawcett's lover, a military officer and a Squib. Is a “resurrected” man; he was literally dug out of the ground by his fellow soldiers, and nearly died of pneumonia but miraculously survived, as a lieutenant during the Balkan Wars. He was buried under a huge snowfall for 20 hours but survived, and then survived pneumonia. In a throwaway but immensely telling detail, he says they only dug him out by accident. Smokes a pipe. This handsome, athletic man, Nordic-looking (blond and blue-eyed, six feet tall) has his disdain for work and in his assertion that anyone who can really feel desire is a king. Because of his relationship with a rich woman who is six years older han he, the major is viewed as a “sponge” by more conservative members of society. He is the homemaker of the household: he cooks, cleans, gardens, and even sews (tears in his family's clothing and stuffed toys as Hanukkah presents - as well as a pink and lacy "KISS THE MAJOR" apron that he wears when he cooks). In spite of all this, he is completely straight and devoted to his "muffin" (and to Feuilly and his friends: unlike his ladylove, he wanted kids and was overjoyed with Feuilly at first sight). And yes, he is related to Clint Eastwood. - Mrs Fawcett, finely formed 'little jewess', rich bourgeois, aged 36, divorced Simon Fawcett. Major Eastwood, big blonde man, athletic, driver with Mrs Fawcett, war veteran --- ‘I think,’ said the Major, taking his pipe from his mouth, ‘that desire is the most wonderful thing in life. Anybody who can really feel it, is a king, and I envy nobody else!’ He put back his pipe.

The Jewess looked at him stupefied.
‘But Charles!’ she cried. ‘Every common low man feels nothing else!’
He again took his pipe from his mouth.
‘That’s merely appetite,’ he said.
And he put back his pipe.

  • Lord Henry Wotton, the Count's best friend, a Squib, another bon viveur and depraved homosexual. He is a friend of the Enjolras family and wishes to acquire Enjolras and Montparnasse. He is also the best man at the Count's wedding to Lady Alistair. Like Courfeyrac, he also owns a sword-cane and is ambidextrous and a skilful fencer.
  • Professor Gunnar Malström, Swedish psychologist and member of the Order of the North Star. Will do anything for science. Worshipped by Combeferre at first.
  • Sir Dr. William Watercloose II, urologist to the stars (including Count Jean and Lord Henry)
  • Baron Maupertius (a mentioned but not seen character in "The Adventure of the Reigate Squire", described as having 'colossal schemes', here described as a 'colossus')
  • Sir Nevil Airey Stent has a List of other astronomers whose careers he intends to crush to bolster his own superiority. He is also a Squib and another idol of Combeferre's
  • Prince Fyodor Konstantin Orlofsky is a twenty-something Russian aristocrat who is also a bon viveur and openly gay (and a trans man!). He sure loves his champagne. He has erotic liaisons with both Count Jean de Satigny and Lord Henry Wotton 
  • Countess Joséphine Balsamo de Cagliostro is a mysterious femme fatale, actually the famous eighteenth-century alchemist and a trans woman who sees herself as a rival to Count Jean de Satigny. The only female member of the Xeniades Club. She is one of the few alchemists who have succeeded in making the Philosopher's Stone (among with Flamel and Saint-Germain). They tried to execute her, but due to the effect of the Philosopher's Stone, the nooses broke off, the guillotines shattered, the poisons didn't work on her... (it also helped that she had become immune to poisons as a young person, and that she was and is one of the Wizarding World's foremost authorities on the subject!). For a while she posed as Count Cagliostro's daughter with Josephine Bonaparte, but they are actually one and the same person. After that she took on different guises to conceal her immortality and eternal youth from prying Muggles, fighting on Grindelwald's side in the last Wizarding War, and becoming Grindelwald's right-hand woman. She has also studied Ninjutsu in Konohagakure. She conspires in book five with Montparnasse and Lady Alistair to poison Count Jean (just like she had done when she conspired with Salieri to poison Mozart). She was also a governess to Queen Victoria's children as a front for her activities in Muggle and wizarding politics. In her youth, she (or rather he, being male at the time) was in Ravenclaw, where she was Prefect, after being expelled from Beauxbâtons; then he became Marie Antoinette's first and foremost advisor before he changed sexes. She becomes Potions Master at Hogwarts after the death of her predecessor and other rival, Héloïse de Villefort (the Countess was incensed that a cis straight woman got the post in the first place). She wears a poison ring with a sapphire, and the Philosopher's Stone in a locket round her neck. Her weapon of choice is Acqua Tofana (she makes her own stock), which she keeps in Murano perfume bottles. She also owns Marie Antoinette's magic mirror, that she keeps in a secret place.
  • All of these gentlemen (and trans gentlewoman) belong to the Xeniades Club, and they recruit Montparnasse as the youngest member (Orlofsky was the youngest member until then). The whole Club allies with the Condesce after her rise to power and they all invade Hogwarts in the climax... 
  • Mme. Thérèse Defarge is Mme. Thénardier's mother and therefore the Thénardier siblings' granny. She cut ties with her daughter and the Thénardiers after her daughter decided to marry a sergeant who could get killed in battle (like what happened to Ingrid in Doremi Dokkaan!); she decides to spoil Éponine, whom she only has seen in infancy, and to betray the Enjolras search party to the Xeniades Club, whose associate she is - Defarge's, her tavern, not being far from the Manoir de Satigny. She is a Squib who communicates with the Xeniades Club via her knitting, that she uses as a secret language (her knitting secretly encodes the names of people to be killed by Morse code) - a gran you would definitely not want to mess with, but who definitely earns the trust of the whole search party except Grantaire. A lot like the witch in "Hansel and Gretel".
  • Lloyd Asplund is a defector from the Xeniades Club (though he and Cécile were at the Holy Thursday supper at the Manoir de Satigny) and an ally of AS-SORTED, a former Prefect of Ravenclaw, an Aquarius, and neurodivergent (autism and ADHD). A scientist and inventor who combines magic and tech, like Combeferre wanted, and one of his idols. Is a British Peer known as the Earl of Pudding. His catchphrase is "CONGRATULATIONS!!" said as large a ham as BRIAN BLESSED. He remarries Lady Alistair and begins a project to terraform Mars. Aroace. Celibate Eccentric Genius: Very smart, very quirky, and has no interest in romance or sex. He claims to get the "general idea" of sexual relationships, but his true passion is scientific research. While he's part of an Arranged Marriage, he only agreed to the match for his in-laws' vintage artifacts. He's a brilliant scientist, but he has No Social Skills whatsover and this can make him come across as rather odd. Genius Sweet Tooth: He isn't known by some as the "Earl of Pudding" for nothing. He can rival Luna Lovegood in that department. His coworkers (and his wife, and Cécile) see him as an over-energetic oddball. His excitement upon getting his hands on an antique is positively child-like. For Christmas, he dresses as "Mari Lloyd," the Gray Mare, per family tradition, in a gray costume with a horse's skull mask, accompanied by Cécile and by Le Gang des Schubert, the former as the Leader in a nutcracker-like costume with a whip, Dr. Falke as the Crocodile (who doubles as the merry man and plays music), and Giovanni and Anatole as Punch and Judy (all three wear swazzles in their mouths; it gives them a vocal quality as though they were speaking through a kazoo)... It is basically a more adult and extreme version of trick-or-treating with rap-battles and bad pranks, which he has done in Hogsmeade, where he lives with Cécile, and later Lady Alistair, since his teenage years.
  • Cécile Croomy is Lloyd's subordinate. A brilliant scientist en par with her superior. Cécile is a kind-hearted woman. She was also Lloyd's kouhai at Ravenclaw, they know each other since their school years. She also acts as Lloyd's conscience, scolding him for his unintentionally rude remarks. A recurring joke is that Cécile is a bad cook, though no one has the heart to tell her -  Cécile isn't a Lethal Chef per se, but she seems to not have any concept of what normal taste is (she puts jam in rice balls for instance. Beleaguered Assistant: She often has to contend to problems caused by Lloyd's Ditzy Genius ways. Is more of a sister figure to Lloyd and his Cloudcuckoolander's Minder.
  • Noirtier de Villefort is a frenemy of Marius's maternal grandfather guardian; he had a stroke and communicates by morse-ing with his left eyelids, the only body parts he can move
  • Lady Cecily Alistair was Courf's fiancée for a while --- then, after the Condesce conquered everything, she became the Count's bride and wife - then at the end an Anne-of-Cleves style power figure, and Clochette de Satigny's and the Count's art collection's next owner - she gives two thirds of the collection away to charities, and remarried Lloyd Asplund. She came to the defense of Hogwarts after finding out her husband's dark secrets and was given the Empress arcanum. She is an Aquarius, a bisexual, left-handed but can also do some things with her right (like embroidering), and enjoys charcoal and pencil drawing. She is also a squib and was homeschooled. Her Amortentia scent is charcoal.
  • Madame Rosmerta is the landlady at the Three Broomsticks, a voluptuous magical woman with golden hair and green eyes. Several Hogwarts students, both lesbian girls and straight Young men, fancy her.
  • Her Imperious Condescension conquered the Earth of this Dimension/Timeline (Earth of the 92nd Universe) on the eve of the finale, being opposed by AS-SORTED and assisted by Parnasse and the Thénardier sisters (Gav had already joined AS-SORTED)
  • Héloïse de Villefort is Noirtier's daughter-in-law, a social climber and poison expert, and Potions Master at Hogwarts. She favours Slytherins, having been in that house in her youth, and fosters competition between Gryffindor and Slytherin students. Before the final battle, she poisons herself with a cyanide pill kept in her emerald ring, when Grantaire confronts her in the Potions lab while he searches for ingredients for enough Draught of Living Death to drug a young adult male for 24 hours (which he uses on himself, due to the full moon, to wake up the next day as per canon to save Enjolras, leading to their executions). Her death is blamed on Grantaire even though she committed suicide (much like Enjolras killed the Count de Satigny and is executed for that).
  • Alluka is a powerful reality warper, with the appearance of a whimsical child, who can grant wishes, yet always at a price. She is a trans girl and also caused the pseudo-gender change of Jehanne Prouvaire (when he emasculated himself and gave up his manhood and a lot of blood to heal Enjolras at the start of the initial arc). She is also the author of the story, who can break the fourth wall and appear among her characters at will...
  • Charles XII was a king of Sweden who happened to look and act just like Enjolras. Mrs. Jarley keeps an effigy of him in her waxworks...
  • Navet is a Slytherin boy Gavroche's age and Gavroche's best friend. Like Gavroche, he makes friends with Grantaire. He survives the war and becomes a waiter at the Three Broomsticks.
  • Vitalis and Desdemona Enjolras are our fair leader's parents and, frankly, they spoil their only child! Artemis was a gift from them, for instance! They were both Prefects of Slytherin and they're both Aquarius like their son.
  • Catherine Pontmercy is the daughter of  Cosette and Marius who is a first-year student on the Hogwarts Express in the finale, accompanying her professor parents. She also gets the Star arcanum as a bookmark. In the gaiden "The Springtime of Catherine Pontmercy," she is revealed to have been sorted into Ravenclaw and to dream of becoming a fashion designer. She writes BL/slash fanfics starring various pairings. She also has a pet puffskein called Flan.
  • Kinu Sohma is the daughter of Hatori and Mayuko and prefect for Ravenclaw when Catherine Pontmercy enters Hogwarts. She makes fast friends with the younger girl, and recruits her as a personal assistant in the gaiden "The Springtime of Catherine Pontmercy," where the two of them are eager to step out of their parents' shadows. She has no desire to follow either parent's profession, but rather to concentrate on her studies. When famous aurors Juliet Butler, Alistair McCooley, and Jez Stukeley arrive at Hogwarts for an orientation weekend, she gets the ambition of becoming an auror.
ANON METHOUGHT THE LAWN JOCKEYS BEGAN TO MOVE - Marius, 'Ponine, and some others (including Feuilly) infiltrate the Satigny estate dressed as jockeys with Mrs. Jarley's effigy costumes, having also dressed the Charles XII effigy as a jockey in red - they intend to swap the clothes of the effigy for Enj's in order to free him from the mansion
the Count's guards think that the jockeys just moved ("must have started early")
Éponine came up with the idea from Macbeth's Birnam Woods - hence the name of the infiltration operation

SHENANINGAN - taken from shenanigan and Sharingan - this is a power that at first Courf coined...
and which consists of

story points/Books 1-5:
  1. Secession of Houses (Book I - Year of Javert) --- Javert takes the helm and attempts apartheid at Hogwarts by seggregating Houses extremely; AS-SORTED is founded by Enjolras to set things right / Kappa Invasion/Shenaningan Awakening/Quidditch Season (Hogwarts winds up using the kappas in healthcare, much like the kitchen house-elves in canon and the healthcare centre Pokémon in the Pokémon universe --Chansey evolution line, Audino, Comfey--). Solar eclipse. Ravenclaw wins the Quidditch Cup (final against Slytherin, Musichetta catches the Snitch). The most popular male students in each house form the Four Horsemen (Shitennō in Japanese): Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, and Grantaire. Of these, Grantaire and Enjolras crowned May King and Queen, respectively.
  2. Book II - Year of the Chamber: Awakening of the Basilisk of Slytherin by Montparnasse. Defeat of a Hydra hatched by 'Parnasse in the Forbidden Forest as a decoy (by Enjolras beheading and Combeferre cauterizing, Enjolras hospitalized due to Hydra venom, scar on his chest, he will never grow chest hair); the mandrakes "sown" by Courfeyrac in the forest key to healing everyone petrified, except Cleo the Siamese ('Parnasse had destroyed all the mandrakes in the greenhouse). Enjolras' knowledge of Parselmouth key to opening the Chamber, which Enjolras and Combeferre (while Jehanne Prouvaire and Courfeyrac harvest the wild mandrakes), enter crossdressing. With Enjolras' phoenix patronus, the basilisk is petrified using two silver salvers to return its gaze and tossed back into the bust of Salazar Slytherin, Enjolras attacked by basilisk, gets venom in his left arm, only healed through Jehanne Prouvaire's sacrifice in order to grant a wish through Alluka; Enjolras and Combeferre returned to the surface using a chamber pot portkey. In the meantime Grantaire left in the Knight Bus for Godric's Hollow, where he ate supper at the Hooters and won a stuffed panda at the festival roulette, them returned to Hogwarts to rejoin his friends and lover- (contains World Through the Mirror of Erised mini-arc -- Cosette comes to a steampunk townhouse where her parents Fantine and Felix are pretty much alive and married; but the family is dysfunctional and the Other Cosette, her counterpart, is a pampered sociopath with orphan Éponine as whipping girl; also Marius was raised by Col. Pontmercy, who wiped out the Gillenormands, and Marius now holds the rank of lieutenant... he's sensitive and artistic, much to his commanding officer father's consternation (the Colonel doesn't know Marius is gay and sweet on this world's Courf!)... A marriage between the Marius and Cosette in this timeline has been arranged, but Cosette of the Seed universe gets swapped with the bride of the mirror universe, who prefers an independent life, on account of the latter's coaxing (like in the Goose Girl fairytale), and the "evil" Cosette makes her way to Hogwarts in Hufflepuff uniform... The barricade lads across the mirror are here male prostitutes living in a pleasure house next to the Tholomyès residence and working their way through university.) Enjolras made a prefect, and Courfeyrac, Musichetta, and Henriette as well. Courfeyrac and Musichetta crowned May King and Queen, Mars retrograde. Slytherin wins the Quidditch Cup (final against Hufflepuff - Montparnasse catches the Snitch)
  3. Book III: Year of Catharsis: Masquerade Ball, at New Year, and drugging (with datura) and discrediting (with a brawl, similarly to how Iago discredits Cassio, also because Enj has an en-bloc blackout, doesn't remember anything he did while drugged; he wounded Courfeyrac, who was defending himself, and when he was angry and drugged, Enj’s veela traits –feathered-scaly wings, feathered arms, feathers in the hair, nails elongated into talons that rip his gloves and caligae apart– surface, revealing his ancestry) of Enjolras by Montparnasse, who then becomes prefect. Abduction of Ganymede ("Runnymede" as Grantaire misheard it - this becomes a running gag) - ie de Satigny making his move, spiriting Enjolras away to his estate via pink helicopter around Easter break and even one week more (when his parents wanted to send him to Durmstrang for the rest of his schooling to be more serious with his studies, the Count asks them to "borrow" Enj for Easter with the pretext of teaching him etiquette). On Holy Thursday, Enj and Parnasse serve as waiters/cupbearers for the members of the Xeniades Club who have a supper all together (reference to the Last Supper, there are 13 people in total); that night Artemis arrives at the attic where Enjolras sleeps, she brings him a letter from the search party - and she also brings a dead fox, which she eats; Enj writes the reply in his own blood on the reverse side of the letter, and the fox is thrown out the window /(one episode in this arc is for instance a nod to "The Seven Knots of Horus" with Courfeyrac projecting astrally and going inside Combeferre's airways to heal him from within of a severe poisoning) Operation Birnam Woods - ie freeing Enj from the Northern Provinces estate, while Parnasse (also spending Easter with de Satigny and under his "patronage")has him poisoned with fugu shirako and casting unforgivable curses (except Avada Kedavra), to the point that Enjolras' sanity suffers --also, he is poisoned with datura, since the Imperius Curse has lost its effect on him, on Good Friday night, and awakens first on Easter Monday morning in the estate attic; Enj has an en-bloc blackout, doesn't remember anything he did, or rather they did to him, while drugged; the Count took candid photos of him, and both the Count and Parnasse penetrated Enj! He wakes up bleeding from his anus-- and he is treated with rauha at Hogwarts. After recovering, Enjolras cuts his hair (until then long and kept in a ponytail) into a 20s-style bob. Music box portkey, with thestral figurine and "Pop Goes the Weasel," used as portkey to escape the mansion: Montparnasse uses to get to Hogwarts and back to the Satigny estate (still the Count's valet) a spare portkey, a boater hat. Courfeyrac given a pygmy puffskein, Petit-Chou, in early autumn for his birthday. Venus transit. Hufflepuff wins the Quidditch Cup (final against Ravenclaw - Musichetta catches the Snitch, but Courfeyrac scores a lot of goals... and collapses due to exhaustion). Grantaire and Enjolras crowned May King and Queen, but they hand over their titles and regalia (wildflower wreaths and bouquets for crowns and sceptres) to Marius and Cosette.
Diaspora Across Timelines/Universes, Book 4 - Summer of the Multiverse --- including the following:
  • Courf winds up as a corrupt knight trapped in his own rusty armour in a Wizard of Oz-/Journey to the West-style universe; Enj is a naive girl here, Prouvaire a lion cub who wants to change into a lioness and lead a pack to claim her rightful throne, Bossuet is a kappa, Combeferre is the narrator, GrandR a guard/nutcracker doll, and the Condesce is the Wicked Witch of the West
  • The Aubreyiad/Battle Tendency universe: steampunk floating islands and skyships à la Dragon Hunters. Combeferre is the one who winds up here as the First Mate and surgeon to Captain Enjolras, looking for the counterpoison for the rings a rival captain put on his aorta and trachea, a cure that can only be acquired by confronting said enemy, who wears the antidote (it was Parnasse of course) - everyone is jacked like a JoJo's character and Enjolferre is canon OTP à la Jack Aubrey/Stephen Maturin. Courfeyrac is lookout, Lesgles the bosun, Grantaire the cook, Éponine and Feuilly and Bahorel able pirates, Gavroche cabin boy, Jo-Lee assistant surgeon, and Prouvaire gardener (she tends to the lime trees on deck).
  • The Snow Queen Condesce universe; Enj winds up here and at first it appears like completely ordinary Hogwarts except that Enj and R are officially a couple and both at Slytherin-- the plot follows basically the Snow Queen fusion fic La Fée Verte, except that the Condesce replaces the Green Faery as "Snow Queen" and the mirror shards in eyes and hearts are present - 'Parnasse having shattered the Mirror of Erised and become its first victim
  • The Wishing-Tree (arbrasouhait) universe - the Thénardier siblings sans Zelma wind up here; people look like rag dolls, the Thénardier parents still are free and have raised them right... and, during a conjunction of twin suns, Éponine competes for the title of Sower against counterparts of others (Combeferre and Joly are alchemists who make the wishing-seeds, so they don't ride but dispense the seeds and act as judges) riding on flying big cats, to sow the seeds of wishing-trees whose root systems hold the planet together. There is also a strong element of Wacky Races here (like in the Piffle arc of Tsubasa)
  • The Queen-style Star Group universe - R (the one from the Seed timeline who incarnated here, AKA Fat R: they all look here like in the BBC miniseries) is a Lefou-like fat groupy; short-haired Enj with moustache is counterpart Freddie/ Courf, Ferre, Marius are counterpart Taylor, May, Deacon; Éponine is Mary (and she gets married to Cosette), the rest of the barricade lads are groupies of their group - called ROYAL, Montparnasse or Parno is this world's Jacko, with a pet orangutan called Buttercup; they live in a Wonderland-themed mansion called Wonderland, with all the servants dressed as Carrollian characters (the butler is the Mad Hatter, the gardener the March Hare, the cook the Ugly Duchess, the footmen the White Rabbit, Cheshire Cat, and Blue Caterpillar, the bouncers at the entrance are Tweedledum and Tweedledee; Montparnasse himself is the Queen of Hearts-- there is a stuffed raven on the writing desk, and on the lintels it is written WE ARE ALL MAD HERE) and of course there is a lot of influence from aidoru anime, alongside Enj's terminal illness (cough of death already featured in the first appearance - he dies on the stage, and R finishes his song and sings at his funeral)
Final Conflict, Book V - The Final Year ----- corresponds to the "barricade subplot and nearly everyone dying" part of canon. Everyone returns to the Seed universe's Earth and a final course begins; an anti-war play is staged at Hogwarts, The Year of Great Medlars, written by Courfeyrac (his first and only tragedy) and starring him as Dauphin Francis of Valois, Combeferre as Count Sebastian de' Montecuccoli, James Norrington (Hufflepuff) as Prince Henri of Valois, and Musichetta as Caterina de' Medici. Lady Alistair marries Count de Satigny and his personal troupe puts on a separate production of The Year of Great Medlars at the Satigny estate. After the play (the Hogwarts performance), Enjolras loses his cool being provoked by Montparnasse, tearing off his prefect badge and claiming back the prefecture of Slytherin by force, leading to a declaration of war... The Xeniades Club, the pack of werewolves who turned Grantaire, and the Condesce's army storm Hogwarts, leading to the last stand of AS-SORTED. Grantaire has, while drugged with the Draught of Living Death, a dream inspired by the Lamb Lies Down, from the Chamber of 32 Doors onwards, with himself as Rael and Enj as John, before waking up and dying at the end of the battle, holding Enj's hand... Lunar eclipse. Everyone dies in the same order as in canon, from Éponine taking a lethal Sectumsempra meant for Cosette and dying in Cosette's arms, to Enjolras and Grantaire killed by Avada Kedavra holding hands, Enj for killing Count de Satigny and R for dying by Enj's arms. 
On the cover of the script of The Year of Great Medlars there is a quatrain written by Courfeyrac in the style of Nostradamus, that spoils the whole play:
A thirsty prince in the August sun...
A cupbearer seized is never fun...
A sister-in-law ruled by envy and greed...
A wish for peace that came true indeed.

In each arc there is also a celestial phenomenon which parallels the plot of the arc. Solar eclipse in the apartheid arc (Book 1), Mars retrograde in the basilisk arc (Book 2), Venus transit in the Satigny arc (Book 3)r lunar eclipse in the final conflict arc (Book 5).

Recently there is a gaiden titled "The Springtime of Catherine Pontmercy," which reveals Catherine in Ravenclaw and follows her for a week in May. It deals with her developing self-confidence and assisting her best friend/mentor Kinu Sohma, who has no dreams for the future until some admirable aurors come to visit. The ghost of Gavroche frequents Ravenclaw Tower and courts Catherine, being in love with her, although him being already dead means this is a star-crossed, platonic romance. The Bloody Baron encourages Gavroche to woo his ladylove with grand romantic gestures, whilst the Thénardier lad prefers confessing his love through little pranks. Cosette is poisoned by Countess Cagliostro, the new Potions Master, but fortunately survives, after Alluka heals her (Catherine had to cut off the toes on her left foot to pay the price of the wish). Catherine and Kinu, along with Gavroche, also help the aurors Jez Stukeley, Alistair McCooley, and Juliet Butler (who are spending the week at Hogwarts) try to stop Azelma and Montparnasse. The miscreants were trying to steal the Spear of Lugh from the Hogwarts vaults. The spear is recovered, but Azelma gets away and Montparnasse is impaled to death on the Spear, once it returned to him with Expelliarmus and recognised him as an unworthy wielder. At the end, Countess Cagliostro flees Hogwarts and poisons Azelma Thénardier, with strychnine in a cup of chai (the poisoning is shown in graphic detail), on the Hogwarts Express, because Azelma wanted the Countess's secrets.

The Spear of Lugh, like the most renowned weapons in Norse myth (Mjölnir, Gungnir), is semi-sentient and returns to the wielder's hand after being thrown, like a boomerang. It was used by the god-king Lugh (the Celtic Apollo) to slay the Fomorians (a tyrannical race of cyclopes), and most probably crafted by the same dwarven smiths who made Mjölnir and Gungnir. It has electric/lightning powers, like Mjölnir, and can only be wielded by worthy wielders and reacts against unworthy ones, like Mjölnir as well.

It is revealed that, three days after Gavroche's deathday, both the ghosts and the living of Hogwarts celebrate Remembrance Day to remember the sacrifice of Enjolras and his friends.

martes, 25 de junio de 2019

BEFORE THE ROSE BLOOMED

BEFORE THE ROSE BLOOMED:

A RETELLING OF THE SNOW QUEEN

adapted by Sandra Dermark

(to illustrations by Lars Gabel)


Deep in a vault beneath the Hall
of Legends is a tale of love and lust,
fire and ice. Magic. Reflection. Word-
spinners repeat it only when they must,
for implicit within the seven-act
drama is a call for introspection.
But this storyteller has lived well,
and has no fear of this fable. So if
you dare, settle in with a hot cup—
protection against the approaching
chill. Are you ready? Let’s begin.

ACT ONE

All right, let us begin, and when we reach
the end of our tale, then we shall know
so much more than what we know already!
Once, beyond the reach of memory,
a certain archangel incited rebellion
in heaven. But its faithful army
prevailed, and the Fallen were exiled
to Earth, where Lucifer took the name
Satan and angel became demon.
Angered by their defeat, jealous
of the beloved people, the imps
set out to cause mischief among
the human race. Some realized great
success in this, but others grew lazy,
and not a few succumbed to lust.
One particularly clever demon
(having founded an academy for
aspiring young imps) titled himself
Demon King and determined to marry
a certain human princess. But when
he came courting, he was met with
ardent distaste. “The world is far
too beautiful to spend my days looking
at such an ugly creature. And the sun
is far too warm to lie beside someone
with a frozen heart. I will not marry
you.” That might have discouraged
a less clever demon. But this one
crafted a mirror of enchanted ice,
and its magic was quite horrible.



For anytime someone gazed into it,
everything beautiful in the world
seemed ugly. The most magnificent
flowers appeared wilted, the orange
glow of a perfect sunset looked rusty-
brown, and the fairest human on
all the earth resembled a monster
more hideous than the demon
himself. The looking-glass itself
was exquisite, its frame carved
in intricate detail and its surface
polished to perfect smoothness.
The princess knew nothing of its magic,
and its beauty was tempting. Even so,
intuiting a trap, she refused the gift.
The furious demon unfurled his long-
unused wings, and flew the mirror
toward heaven, so that it might appear
a wasteland to any human who looked
upward at the sky. But the higher
he flew, the more slippery the mirror
became, until at last it slipped from
his grasp. It fell to the earth, shattering
into a billion shards, which swarmed
and swirled throughout the world,
buzzing like great hives of killer bees.



This caused terrible trouble,
for a single flake lodged in an eye
or heart infected it with the mirror’s
magic. A great many were attracted
to the princess, since the mirror
was always meant for her. One large
sliver pierced each of her eyes, turning
their sapphire-blue crystal pale.
Another burrowed into her heart,
growing with each beat until there
was nothing left beneath her breasts
but a miniature iceberg. The demon
laughed, then deepened the curse.
“Now you will never know love,
my Snow Queen. You may search
and search the earth for affection,
but any man who kisses you more
than three times will freeze solid. And
the only place you’ll ever know warmth
is in the Land of the Midnight Sun.”
She was borne away by a swarm of ice,
which carved a palace for her from
a glacier near the North Pole. The demon
sent her there with a parting gift.
“One day every year, at the winter
solstice, while the sun refuses to rise,
you may see beauty. And if you should
find a human heart warm enough
to thaw yours, you may know love.”
With a throaty chuckle, he returned
to his demon school, knowing the odds
were longer than long. And that
is how the beautiful, frost-hearted
Snow Queen came to live in a castle
of ice at the frozen tip of the world.



ACT TWO

Many hundreds of miles away, in a very
small town where acquaintances were friends,
except when they weren’t, lived a girl
named Gerta and a boy known as Kai,
which was short for Kassander, a name
he found much too unwieldy for daily
use. The pair had been friends since
the long days of childhood, having
adjoining backyards and grandparents
who often shared tea, and sometimes
a pint or two. In the growing seasons,
Gerta and Kai spent long afternoons in
the garden, tending prismatic flower
beds. Both favoured the richly scented
roses, though she preferred crimson
petals, and he tangerine. The joy
they shared in the warmer months saw
them through the gray of winter.
And as they journeyed through time
toward adulthood, everyone in the village
assumed they would one day marry,
so pure was their love for one another.
Kai grew into a handsome young man,
tall and strong, from long days hauling lumber
and firewood. Gerta learned to weave
intricate patterns, designs inspired by
her beloved blooms. A wedding was not
far away. But then came an unusually
early winter storm. Ice flurried through
the town, filling the streets with a strange
buzzing noise. This was very strange, and
no one could guess the source of the sound.



Kai’s curiosity was piqued. When he wondered out
loud what it was, his grandmama decided
it must be snow bees. “Do they have a queen?”
asked Kai. Every hive had one, didn’t it?
“Well, of course, child,” agreed Grandmama.
“The Snow Queen. And she is beautiful
to behold, but her heart is carved of ice.”
Kai didn’t quite believe it until that same
evening, just as the sun set, when motion
beyond his frost-curtained window
caught his notice. He cleared a small
spot, and when he looked out into
the fading light, he found a striking woman,
pale as freshly drifted snow, peering
back at him. She knocked on the glass.
“Please open the window. I saw you earlier,
hauling wood on your sledge. I might
have work for you.” Kai felt compelled
to comply, and in a single blink, a swarm
of ice bees rose up and flew inside. One
sliver lodged itself in Kai’s right eye; another
burrowed into his heart. They were so
tiny, he barely felt pain, but though
the Snow Queen herself didn’t change
in appearance, everything else did.




The cheerful fire shrivelled to cold
embers in a smoke-stained hearth.
The walls leaned, peeling paint, and
the threadbare carpet revealed
a splintered parquet floor. Grandmama’s song,
only seconds before so lovely, now
sounded like a tomcat’s yowl. And Kai’s
heart felt as if it had frozen near solid.
Some instinct told him that if he could
only touch Gerta, his love for her might
thaw the ice. But when he glanced
across the way at her window, it appeared
shuttered, and her house dilapidated,
as if no one had lived there for a very
long time. Kai fell into such despair
that when the Snow Queen urged,
“Come with me,” he took her hand
and followed docilely to her sleigh.
When he climbed in beside her,
she covered him with a rich ermine
stole. Then she kissed him, and he felt
a spark of warmth, but only a spark,
and his life as he knew it fell into
the tracked snow behind them.
When he asked where they were going,
the Snow Queen answered, “To my grand
palace.” And when he wanted to know
why she had taken his hand, she told
him, “Because I need someone to care
for me.” She didn’t say that rumours
of his love for Gerta had crept far and
wide, all the way to her ears, and she knew
she must see this thing for herself.
She’d travelled a great distance to Kai’s
town and spied on the young couple,
witnessing such affection between them
that a little piece of her own heart
melted. Perhaps, enchanted, Kai would
grow to love her, too, freeing her
from the demon’s curse. So they flew
across the snow, crows caw-cawing
overhead, to the Land of the Midnight Sun.

ACT THREE

Kai said goodbye to no one, and not a single
soul had seen him go. When someone
vanishes into thin air, people talk.
“He’s gone looking for work,” some said.
“He’s fallen for another, and run off,”
opined others. After many days with no
word, no sign, everyone came to believe
Kai was dead. Everyone except Gerta.
“I don’t know where he went or what
he’s done, but my heart would tell me
if he had succumbed to some threat
of nature or human. No, my Kai is alive.”
She waited patiently through winter.
But with the spring thaw, as tender green
shoots pushed up through the earth,
preparing the land for future summer, she knew
she must search for Kai. “Before the roses
bloom, or how will I ever look at them
again?” Despite all best-intentioned advice
to the contrary, Gerta packed a few days’
food into a rucksack, and off she went.
Her quest would have been dangerous
enough for a young woman alone, but
dark magic prefers no interference,
unless it is its own. The road from town
went east and west, parallel the river.
Gerta called out to the sparrows,
“Do you know which way Kai went?”
But the little birds just sang, “We’re
here. We’re here.” So Gerta cried
to the river, “You must have seen him
go. Tell me which way to travel.”
Rippling waves lapped against the bank.
“Come here,” they seemed to say.
“Come here.” When Gerta reached
the beach, she found a little skiff
tied there. “Get in. Get in,” heaved
the water. So she did, and the river
rose, spiriting her away. With no oars
nor sail, Gerta was at the mercy
of the current. After a time, she slept
in the soft April sunshine. She dreamed
of roses. Dreamed of ice. Of a sleigh
aloft in a winter sky. Somewhere, midst
the swirling images, the solution
to her puzzle appeared. But when
she woke, tossed into the bow as the boat
bumped against the shore, it was gone.
Gerta stepped onto the shimmering
sand and stretched, and when her back
was turned, the river coaxed the boat
away. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Now what?”
But there was really only one decision.
“Well, I suppose I must walk.” It wasn’t
until hours later that she remembered
her rucksack. All her provisions were
somewhere downriver. But, despite
the gnaw in her belly and blisters
forming on her feet, her love for Kai
drew her forward. On she trekked,
into the purpling evening, until at last
she reached a tidy cottage. Her knock
did not go unanswered. “I’m sorry to
bother you,” she told the bent old woman
who opened the door. “I’ve travelled
all day, and I’ve lost my rucksack and...”
A tear or two spilled from her eyes.
“Could you spare a crust of bread?”
The crone (for that’s what she was,
though her magic was tepid with
great age) allowed, “Come in, come
in, my dear. Tell me about your journey
while I fix you a plate. There’s plenty
here. My garden is bounteous, and
it never sleeps.” That much, at least,
was true. “Please help yourself to
some cherries. They’re fresh from
my orchard.” Gerta thought it odd
that trees would bear fruit in April,
but with one bite of a luscious red
cherry, all suspicion melted away,
and she told the old woman about
her quest to find her love before
the roses blossomed at home. Caught
up in her own story, Gerta didn’t ask
the crone how she had come to live alone
in the wilderness. Had she, the witch
would not have confessed that she was
in the employ of the Demon King.
Still, she wasn’t truly wicked, only
intolerably lonely. Few enough people
passed that way. The spell she cast
on the turnip stew wasn’t meant
to harm Gerta, only to lull her into
forgetfulness so she might stay for
a time. “I’ll fix you a bed in front
of the fire, where it’s cozy.” Gerta
drifted off to the sound of crackling
wood and slept dreamlessly. The next
morning, after a breakfast of grains
and honey, she followed the crone
out the back door. The garden was
one hundred meters wide, and bordered
on two sides by very tall walls. The far
end was nowhere in sight. “Oh!” said
the girl. “All I can see from here to forever
are flowers in bloom and trees bearing
fruit. But how is that possible?”
The old woman answered easily, “As I
said, my garden doesn’t understand
the constraints of time. You may partake
of anything you see. Except...” She gestured
toward the tallest tree in the yard.
“Don’t eat that fruit. It’s bitter poison.”
Gerta hardly cared. The garden offered
her much pleasure for countless days.
Every flower had a story to confess, and
bird choirs sang in leafy branches. The old
woman fed her well and in the evenings
recited poetry and ancient tales of woe.
All thoughts of home and the boy
she loved skittered off into the far
regions of Gerta’s mind. She might
have stayed right there for the rest
of her life, but one afternoon she noticed
a raven land on the tree of poison fruit.
He plucked one and, before she could
offer warning, gobbled it down. Gerta
waited for him to fall to the ground.
Instead, he ate another. And another.
“Dear raven,” said Gerta. “How do you
feel? I’m told that fruit is poisonous.”
The raven looked down with one black
marble eye. “Poison?” he cawed. “This
fruit is quite delicious. Eaten it for years.
Hasn’t killed me yet.” Then off he flew.
Next, a crow landed on the tree.
He, too, ate the fruit without incident.
“Oh, crow. Why would the old woman
warn me not to eat from this tree?”
If a crow could smile, that’s what he did.
“Do you not read your Bible or Torah, child?
What is it she doesn’t want you to know?”
Then he tossed her a fruit. “Eat. So sweet.”
Gerta ate. One bite, and she remembered
her home. Another, she recalled her
own garden and the greening roses.
When she finished the fruit, she saw
Kai in her mind’s eye and remembered
her quest. “Oh! I have been here much
too long. But how will I escape
the garden? Do you know a way out?”
The crow blinked. “Indeed I do. Will
you take some fruit for your journey?
I’ve found it a wise thing to do.”
Gerta gathered as many as her pockets
could hold, then followed the crow
to a small gate in the wall, barely big
enough for her to squeeze through.
With great force of will she did, and on
the far side she found spring and summer had
come and gone. “It is autumn, and
winter approaches. I have to hurry,
but which way? Where did my Kai go?”

ACT FOUR

Another day, her cry might have gone
unheeded. But Mr. Crow had taken
an interest in the girl, circling above
her as she hurried away from the garden,
throwing glances over her shoulder.
No one followed, however, and after a safe
distance, she slowed to a stop, winded.
It was then she noticed her companion.
“Might you have seen Kai, Mr. Crow?
He’d have passed this way in late winter.”
She went on to describe her beloved,
and how he had disappeared. Now,
the crow spoke human fluently,
a benefit of eating fruit from the garden’s
Tree of Knowledge. Still, he enunciated
carefully, so as not to squawk.
“That is a very sad story of love gone
astray. I myself am engaged, and
should the love of my life disappear,
I would search the ends of the earth
for her.” Perched atop a formidable
rock, he considered a minute, then
said, “Come to think of it, I did see a lad
about that age pass this way last winter.
He was dressed in travelling clothes...”
Gerta nodded her head. “As well
he would, and the timing was right.
It must have been Kai. Tell me the colour
of his hair. Was it like summer wheat?
And was he tall and broad-shouldered?”
“Well, yes, he was quite a strapping
young man. He wore a cap, but as I
remember, what peeked out at the nape
of his neck was that very shade.” Truthfully,
he’d seen none of that, but he wanted
to give her the slenderest ray
of hope that she was indeed on
the trail of her beloved. “Oh, then,
I’m certain it must have been my Kai.
And where do you suppose he went?”
The crow told her what he knew.
The story was that a princess who lived
in a castle nearby happened to be a girl
who loved books and the knowledge
they allowed. She yearned for a companion
who was articulate and well-read, and
so the news circulated that her prince
must be this type of gentleman. Many
tried, for she was lovely and a princess
of some means. But when they arrived
at the palace, even the best-spoken
fell mute. Only one was able to pass
her test. Gerta’s spirit soared. “That
might have been Kai. We spent many
evenings together in the company
of books. But...” Sadness weighted
her suddenly. “Did they marry, then,
the princess and he?” The crow couldn’t
say, but either way, “I have to know
and I’ll be happy if only he is alive.”
It shouldn’t come as a surprise,
but it can be exceedingly difficult for
a stranger to gain entry to a palace.
Luckily for Gerta, however, Mr. Crow
had an inside source—his fiancée.
She let them in through the kitchen
door. “The princess and her prince
are in the library, taking tea. Come
with me.” She led them up a back
staircase to the uppermost floor.
The library was immense, and books
spilled from floor-to-ceiling shelves.
The door to the veranda was open,
and a lovely cool breeze blew in
from the sea. The princess and her
young man sat close to the open
air, with their backs to the hallway
door. But Kai was not in the room.
Gerta breathed a loud sigh of relief
before breaking down in tears,
startling the princess. “Who are you,
and how did you find your way in here?”
She might have called for the guards,
but the strange girl was so distraught,
instead she said, “Tell me your story.”
When Gerta finished, the princess, too,
was crying, and even the prince (for,
indeed, they had married) had a shine
to his eyes. “How can we help you?
Will you dine with us and stay the night?”
Gerta agreed to start her journey
fresh in the morning. When she woke,
a small carriage and two coachmen
waited for her at the castle door.
“Oh, thank you!” she called toward
the library windows as she climbed
up inside. “Farewell, friends.” She did
not know that the royal couple lounged
late in bed that morning, nor that
they were unaware of the generous gift.

ACT FIVE

Neither could Gerta know that the road
was infamous in the land, or that they
travelled toward the heart of the Forest
of Thieves. She was too content to nibble
on the figs and scones provided, a gift
from the Demon King, who was well
aware of her journey and its possible
consequences. Before long, she swooned
with drowsiness, and when she woke,
it was with a jolt. “Who dares trespass
in our woods?” A time-shrivelled face
materialized at the window. “Why,
it’s a lass, and a comely one at that. Get
out, get out. I suspect you are quite tender
and will make a splendid meal.” Gerta’s
head was still thick and she heard only
what she wanted to, which was “Get out
and I will make you a splendid meal.”
She wasn’t really hungry, but didn’t
want to seem rude, so she climbed
down from the coach, where she was
apprehended by a band of thieves.
Gerta might have found herself upon
a serving platter, had the youngest
of the bunch not taken an interest.
“Leave her be, Mother,” she commanded.
“Let me interrogate her, see what her
business here might be. Perhaps, should
she disappear, someone might come
looking for her.” Now the girl, Phoebe,
was simply in want of some company.
Thieves, on the whole, are a closemouthed
lot, and not much good for conversation.
She took Gerta by the hand, pulled
her off toward their camp as the thieves
dismantled the coach piece by piece.
“Tell me, girl, why are you here? I’m
in need of a good story. Recite it well
and I’ll make sure it’s rabbit on the table
tonight.” Gerta repeated her tale, and
it brought tears to Phoebe’s eyes, for
such love could warm even the coldest heart.
The encampment was cheered by
a ring of fire, circled by substantial
tents. On the far perimeter, the horses
were kept and, much to Gerta’s delight,
in their midst stood a reindeer. He looked
hungry, so she fed him two of the garden
fruits from her pockets. In the highest
boughs of the tall pines roosted feral pigeons—
ugly birds, and not the brightest. But in one
nest a pair of mourning doves cooed.
Gerta quite enjoyed their soft song,
and sought to reward it with another
of the fruits. Amiably, she nibbled one,
too, and suddenly understood her danger.
While the robbers saw to supper, Phoebe
asked Gerta to tell her more about Kai,
and how he had come to vanish.
The mourning doves overheard and after a while
began to coo in the human language,
which the fruit had given them.
“We saw your young man, Kai, you call
him. He passed this way, sitting beneath
an ermine wrap in a sleigh beside
the Snow Queen. To Lapland, they went.”
While pigeons are terrible gossips,
and rumour is a tool of the devils,
the Demon King holds no jurisdiction
over mourning doves or caribou. “Lapland!” cried
the reindeer, possessed of human speech.
“That was my home when I was a calf.”
Gerta drew close to the downy-coated
hoofed animal, whispered into his ear, “If I can
secure your freedom, will you take me
to Lapland and help find the place where
the Snow Queen has sequestered Kai?”
The reindeer agreed happily, for the idea
of running upon the snowy plains
of his homeland again filled him with joy.
Gerta waited until after the evening feast,
when the thieves all took to swigging
amber liquid from a very large bottle.
Eventually, they all staggered off to bed.
It was then she approached Phoebe,
who had drunk not a little herself
and toyed nervously with a very sharp
knife. “Put your weapon down, friend.
You know my quest. Will you help me
on my way again? I have little to give—”
“Are you a spell caster?” interrupted
Phoebe, for she had witnessed
the change in the animals. “Share
the secret of your incantation and
I shall let you go.” In truth, magic
made her nervous, though she lusted
for such power. “I am not a witch,
only a girl. I gathered the fruit
of knowledge from a tree in a garden
far from here. If it’s of use to you,
I will share what I have. But you must
promise to let the reindeer carry me
on my journey.” The deal was struck.
Gerta gave Phoebe half the remaining
fruit, and the thief untied the reindeer.
Gerta climbed upon his back. But before
she could go, Phoebe stopped her. In a quite
uncommon gesture, most likely spurred
by rhum consumption, she wrapped
Gerta in a thick cloak and gave her
a hamper stuffed with meat and bread.
“Lapland is cold all year round, and winter
fast approaches. Goodspeed.” The reindeer
ran off before she could change her mind.

ACT SIX

The only knowledge the reindeer
needed to find the most direct route
to Lapland was instinct, drawing him
home. The line they took was straight,
but still it took many days, and by
the time they reached his familiar turf,
the hamper was empty, and so was
Gerta’s stomach. A small trail of smoke
led the reindeer to a lopsided cabin
at the very edge of the snowy plain.
“Oh! See how it tilts. However does it
stay standing?” wondered Gerta out
loud. She was almost afraid to knock
on the door, thinking the tapping
might tip the structure all the way over.
But the house stayed mostly upright
and the old Laplander woman who
answered was happy enough to let
them inside and fill Gerta’s belly
with the excellent fish she had been
preparing. As she cooked, the reindeer
repeated Gerta’s story, but only after
his own, which he thought the most
fascinating. “You have come such a very
long way,” said the woman, “but you have
farther to go. I saw the Snow Queen pass
by not long ago. She has a home in Finmark,
and that, I’m sure, is where she is now.
My dearest cousin lives in Finmark,
and she knows more about the Snow
Queen than I do. I will send you with
an introduction, for she is shy about
strangers, even those as interesting
as the two of you. But, please, take my
spare muff, as it is much colder there.”
And so, they were off again, toward
the Northern Lights, which danced
in the sky, leading them to Finmark.
The Lapland woman gave Gerta a pouch 
of dried salted fish, for her cousin loved the treat
and found it hard to come by. On the skin,
she wrote, Please help this young lady
in her search for the Snow Queen.
Her story has touched my heart, which
I have long believed immune to such
things as love. Oh, cousin! How I miss
my soldier, so long gone, and I know
it must be the same for you. So many
have stories, often left untold except
in certain company. So many, whose
lives are changed forever at the hands
of the Demon King. But Gerta knew
nothing of this as she resumed her journey.
After many more hours of travel, the reindeer
stopped before the Finmark woman’s home,
which stood much straighter than that
of her Laplander cousin. Indeed,
Gerta found the Finmark woman quite
suspicious of strangers at her door.
But the pouch, with its message on
the skin, plus the delicious dried codfish
inside, was enough to allow her through
the door. Again, she talked about her Kai
with such affection that the Finmark
woman nearly swooned from the telling.
“Dear, dear girl. The Snow Queen is even
now only a mile from here. But you will
not easily gain entrance to her palace.
She wears the curse of the Demon King,
and it both controls and protects her.”
The reindeer then drew the woman
to one side and asked whether she might
possess some potion or other means to
give Gerta the strength to fight the curse.
“The girl needs nothing from me,” responded
the Finwoman. “She holds a powerful weapon.
Neither demon nor queen can conquer it.”
The reindeer understood, and when
Gerta urged, “Please, can we go to Kai
right this moment?” they left without
delay, and he ran as fast as he could
to the Snow Queen’s palace. He set
Gerta down beside a holly bush adorned
with red berries. “You have fulfilled
your promise.” Gerta stroked his forehead
gently. “You are free.” The reindeer
was happy enough for his freedom,
yet left reluctantly, for he had come
to care deeply for the girl and her quest.
Unbeknownst to either of them, word
of their arrival had rippled to the lair
of the Demon King. He conjured, from
shards of ice, a company of sharp-
quilled porcupines and razor-clawed
wildcats, and raptors with talons like knives.
In the ever-dusk of winter solstice,
the beasts came marching, and for
the first time since her journey began,
Gerta felt truly afraid. “Our Father who...”
She sent the words of the Lord’s Prayer
toward heaven. With each expelled breath,
her frozen exhale formed an angel, and
soon an entire phalanx, wearing
helmets and carrying spears. They thrust
them into the ice-hewn beasts, shattering
them into hailstones, insignificant
in size. With the help of her heavenly
protectors, Gerta marched straight
up to the door, and it opened for her
as if commanded. The hair at her nape
pricked. Her face flushed hot, despite
the cold. And she knew, “Kai is very near.”

ACT SEVEN

Kai, in fact, was very near, but though
Gerta’s intuition screamed it was so,
just down a long corridor and across
a frozen hall, he couldn’t feel her presence
at the door. Couldn’t hear the sound
of her call or smell the drift of roses
on the air. Kai lay, prone, on a polar bear skin,
at the foot of the Snow Queen’s throne.
His skin colour was an odd shade of blue,
bordering aubergine or black. He would have been
dead of the cold already, except every
now and again, his queen would warm
him with the heat of her gaze, and her hot
cold lips would graze his face, enough
to keep him barely alive. All this, Gerta
saw in the instant she burst into the hall,
flanked by angels so beautiful their very
presence lit the chamber. As it happened,
it was the afternoon of the winter solstice,
the one day of the year when the Snow
Queen could discern beauty. At the sight
of the angels, she fell to her knees. “Oh!
Never have I witnessed such a thing, not
even when I was a child.” She wept openly.
Kai stirred from his oblivion. “What is it?”
he asked, struggling to sit upright.
“What do you see?” But when Gerta rushed
to his side, he couldn’t recognize her,
for she looked ugly as any witchy old hag, with
the piece of mirror still lodged in his eye.
“What is it? What do you want from me?”
Gerta drew back, horrified that her Kai
didn’t know her. But an angel whispered
in her ear, reminding her of the power
of the Demon King’s enchantment. Gerta
reached into her pocket, withdrew
the last of the fruit from the garden tree.
“Please. Eat. This will make you strong
again.” Kai might have refused, except
the angel fixed him with her eyes, and as
he stared into the depths of their
pools, he was encouraged to taste
the fruit the girl offered. One bite,
and he knew. “Gerta? Yes, Gerta. I know
you...” A rush of memory flooded
  his eyes, washing the evil shard away.
“You are as beautiful as your guardians.”
He opened his arms and Gerta fell into
them eagerly, her own eyes wet against
his chest. The salt of her tears soaked
through his shirt, skin and flesh and
breastbone, all the way into his heart.
It began to thaw immediately, beating
surer and louder. As blood coursed, warm,
through his arteries, his veins, Kai flushed, and without
thinking, he kissed Gerta full on the lips.
The gesture filled the Snow Queen
with hope that such love might still
await her somewhere. “You shall stay
together forever,” she declared, “though
I will miss your company, dearest Kai.
Thank you for brightening my days.
Return to your village, where, I suspect,
a happy homecoming awaits you.”
Cloaked in a fine warm mantle of love,
Gerta and Kai left the palace, hand in hand.
The air was sharp, and the light low,
but Kai paused to promise, “I’ll never again
leave your side.” At the bush with red berries
stood the reindeer and his own mate, ready
to carry the couple home, under the protection
of angels and before the roses bloomed.


EPILOGUE

The tundra gave way to rhododendrons,
the rhododendrons gave way to pinewood,
and the pines gave way to deciduous forest
of beech and chestnut: the Thieves' Forest,
as Gerta recognised it. And then, suddenly,
riding astride a magnificent steed she recognised too
(it was one that had drawn the princess's carriage),
there cantered a dark maiden with pistols on her belt,
coiffed with a scarlet bonnet. And, as she fired
a loud gunshot into the air as a salute,
she recognised Gerta, and Gerta recognised her:
"Phoebe!" Grown weary of the thieves' lair,
the fierce robber maiden had filled her pockets
from their coffers, taken the best horse
from the princess's carriage, loaded her guns
and set forth on her own across the wide world
for self-discovery. After embracing
joyfully the other maiden, she turned to the lad.
"You must be Kai... quite the rough rambler!
I wonder if it would be really worth it,
questing to the ends of the Earth for his sake!"
She slapped Gerta on the cheek for auld lang syne,
and the blonde asked of the fate of more friends:
"The princess and her prince?" "Oh, they are on
their honeymoon, travelling through foreign realms."
"And the crows?" "Mr. Crow was shot down
by some huntsman. Now his widow wears
a ribbon of black crêpe on her left leg,
and squawks night and day, but I believe it's
much ado about nothing!" Then she asked
Gerta and Kai for their address. "All right!
All's well that ends well, return to your village,
and, should I pass by, maybe I'll visit you!"
She dug the spurs into the horse's flanks,
and, waving goodbye, galloped northwards, 
through the pinewood, while the fiancés turned south.
The Robbers' Forest now seemed so far brighter,
full of birdsong, and, once back in their kingdom,
the bearded barley of March soon gave way
to the periwinkles of April, and these
turned to the full-bloomed roses of scented May,
as the sun began to shine warm once more
and the skylark sang before the rooster at dawn.
Till one day, right behind a gentle hill,
they saw a high church tower in the distance,
above a cluster of red rooftile eaves,
and recognised the tune to which it pealed.
"Home!" Gerta and Kai stormed down the slope, 
recognising the streets through which they'd left.
Within an instant, they were finally 
on their own street, at the door of Gerta's place. 
The rose arch on the balcony had never been in such full bloom.
Everything was just like it had been before, 
and there was nothing new under the sun. 
The old cuckoo clock tick-tocked at the same old steady pace. 
Only upon peering into the little mirror 
did they realise that now they were 
young adults, good-looking and clever-eyed.
The roses were in bloom as usual on the balcony, 

and, from the window, one could see 
two child-sized chairs that they had already grown out of. 
Kai and Gerta sat down on those chairs. 

They had forgotten the past as if awakened from a long dream, 
and it seemed that they had never left home at all. 
Holding one another's hands, he looked into her green eyes, 
and she looked into her friend's icy blue orbs.
Then, Grandmama returned from church, hymn-book in hand, 
and she did not recognise the good-looking young people 
until Gerta and Kai sang their song once more.
The old lady shouted with glee and cried for joy
 as she embraced them, recognising her own granddaughter 
and said granddaughter's best friend. There were both of them, 
all grown up and yet children at heart, 
and it was springtime, the warm, lovely fair season.
A fortnight later, the tower bells 
whose sound they had recognised from afar 
were pealing for their marriage.
Nine months later, when the Snow Queen returned 
southward at the head of her army 
and coursed through the streets, 
the same bells pealed once more 
for the christening of the loveliest little twins: 
one of them named Kassander just like his father, 
and the other named Gerta after her mother.
It would be impossible to tell
 of all the moments of happiness 
spent by this hopeful young family: 
moments of adventure like their assistance 
at the coronation of their young Queen and Prince Consort, 
or the twin children's birthdays, or visits 
from the ever restless and bold traveller Phoebe; 
and everyday moments full of emotion 
such as the funeral of the beloved grandmother 
or being parents of their two own children.
We must say that, every winter, 
the Snow Queen peered in through the windowpanes 
on a certain street in a certain town in a certain kingdom,
 to behold the only one who had warmed her icy heart 
and made her feel what pain was like. 
She saw him happily married and father of two, 
cozily snuggled up with his loved ones by the fireside, 
and she thought of how irrational and unworthy of her 
it had been to fall for that young mortal, 
who was made for the life he currently led.
Gerta and Kai lived for a long time together in that land, 
without any tension with their children, 
who played during the warm seasons 
in the shade of the rose-bushes of yore, or in their relationship. 
They lived until they died with winter at the door, 
summer in the cupboard, autumn in the cellar, 
and springtime within their hearts.