HUMPTY DUMPTY EN ESPAÑOL

 EL HUEVO ROTO

 

A la muralla el huevo trepó.

De la muralla el huevo cayó.

Y todos los hombres de Su Majestad

nunca pudieron al huevo ensamblar.

 

(Canción infantil inglesa, "Humpty Dumpty".

Traducción de Sandra Dermark, 5 de diciembre MMXX)

KALLE ANKAS JUL - UTVECKLING OCH CENSUR

VARJE JULAFTON KLOCKAN TRE... ...har Disneys julspecialare From All of Us to All of You, mer känd i Norden som Kalle Anka och hans Vänner (Kalle har huvudroll i "Djungelns pajas", delad huvudroll i "Campingsemester" och biroll [snarare cameo] som julsångare för blott en vers ['Tis the season to be jolly] i visan vid slutet av "Ekorrar i vår gran"), fängslat tusentals nordiska familje- och vänkvällar vid teven och granen. Det har blivit en kanonisk jultradition vars kortfilmer och långfilmklipp (de senare ursprungligen kända som s.k. "Memorable Moments") har upprepats så ofta en gång om året att ett par tre bevingade ord med detta ursprung har fastnat i folksjälens ordförråd. Vissa år har mer än hälften av Sveriges befolkning fastnat för denna julshow!

Alla filmer i denna julspecialare, både kortfilmer och "Memorable Moments," härrör från en svunnen tid innan 1990-talets Disney-renässans, dvs. från baby-boomer-generationens barndom (den senaste nykomlingen är Robin Hood, från 1973). Numera är Kalle Ankas Jul alltså en hel tidskapsel fylld med gammaldags klassiska 2D-filmer som känns lika fräscha nu som vid sin premiär i rutan. För nutida och framtida generationer svenskar blir den här julshowen en introduktion till dessa klassiker, som de annars, varken numera eller i framtiden, kommer att få lära känna till.

Germans Love David Hasselhoff - something is vastly far more popular outside its region or nation of origin:
From All of Us to All of You, a Disney Christmas compilation special that first aired on Walt Disney Presents in 1958, hasn't been seen on US (or British) network TV in decades, but in Sweden (where it goes by the name Kalle Anka och hans vänner önskar God Jul, or simply Kalle Anka, Donald Duck's Swedish name), it's an obligatory Christmas Eve viewing, drawing the kind of ratings that Super Bowls draw in the USA, or Wimbledon in the UK.

Arne Weise är förspelsvärd, och Bengt Feldreich dubbar den tecknade värden och berättaren Benjamin Syrsa, samt sjunger den första strofen i hans slutnummer "Ser du stjärnan i det blå" ("When You Wish Upon a Star").
"Memorable Moments" (kavalkaden av scener från långfilmer):
(Dåligt) bortklippta scener som var med i förlagan (och i det svenska urprogrammet): Peter Pan (Flyg Iväg), Pinocchio (på scenen) och Bambi (på isen).
Troligast klipptes två av dessa bort av säkerhetsskäl (rädsla att små barn skulle åka skridskor på isen utan övervakning respektive hoppa ut genom fönstret och tänka på julen med förväntningen att kunna flyga). Den tredje, ur Pinocchio, har jag inte en aning om värför den skulle bort. Kanske för att den kunde väcka dockskräck? Eller för att det var en aggressiv kosackdocka, som anfaller Pinocchio, med till kosackmusik och det neutrala Sverige ville då inte ha besvär med ryssarna i kalla kriget?
Och urprogrammet är från 1958 i USA, den svenska/nordiska premiären 1960. From All of Us to All of You kom till Norden i samband med en samling naturprogram av Disney Pictures. Då det först kom ut var det det enda tecknade inslaget i SVT, då den enda svenska TV-kanalen. Alla de andra svenska barnprogrammen var spelfilmer och kasperteater. Vissa år har mer än hälften av Sveriges befolkning fastnat för denna julshow!

Endast fyra filmer från originalprogrammet från 1958/1960 är kvar: Memorable Moments ur Askungen, Lady och Lufsen, Snövit och de sju dvärgarna, samt kortfilmen om "Tomtens verkstad" (en julspecialare i kortfilmsserien Silly Symphonies). Och självklart slutnumret "Ser du stjärnan i det blå" (ursprungligen stjärnsången ur Pinocchio). Alla dessa filmer, även de i Sverige borttagna, hade självklart haft urpremiär innan julspecialaren From All of Us to All of You gavs ut i urformat: "Tomtens verkstad" 1932, Snövit 1930, Askungen 1950, Lady och Lufsen 1955 - och de i Sverige borttagna ur julrutan Pinocchio 1940, Bambi 1942 och Peter Pan 1953.
Så ingen Djungelbok (från 1967) och ingen Robin Hood (från 1973) hade varit ursprungligen med (de är inte del av originalshowen)!! De har lagts till i efterhand (Djungelboken lades till 1969, Robin Hood lades till 1974). "Tjuren Ferdinand", en kortfilm från 1938, lades till 1971, samma år som "Djungelns pajas" (en kortfilm från 1947). "Ekorrar i vår gran" (från 1952) hade lagts till 1967. "Campingsemestern" (från 1938) lades till 1982, det år då man beslöt att aldrig mer förändra programmet i svensk julteve. Fram till 1982 varierades innehållet från år till år; det året fastställdes serien av kortfilmer och Memorable Moments som vi har i rutan i våra dagar klockan tre på julafton. 

From All of Us to All of You (Kalle Ankas Jul)

"Memorable Moments" (kavalkaden av scener från långfilmer):

(Dåligt) bortklippta scener som var med i förlagan (och i det svenska urprogrammet): Peter Pan (Flyg Iväg), Pinocchio (på scenen) och Bambi (på isen). 

Troligast klipptes två av dessa bort av säkerhetsskäl (rädsla att små barn skulle åka skridskor på isen utan övervakning respektive hoppa ut genom fönstret och tänka på julen med förväntningen att kunna flyga). Den tredje, ur Pinocchio, har jag inte en aning om värför den skulle bort. Kanske för att den kunde väcka dockskräck? Eller för att det var en kosackdocka med till kosackmusik och det neutrala Sverige ville då inte ha besvär med ryssarna i kalla kriget?

Och urprogrammet är från 1958. 

Endast fyra filmer från originalprogrammet från 1958 är kvar: Memorable Moments ur "Askungen", "Lady och Lufsen", "Snövit och de sju dvärgarna", samt kortfilmen om Tomteverkstan. Och självklart slutnumret Ser du stjärnan i det blå.

Så ingen Djungelbok (från 67) och ingen Robin Hood (från 73) ursprungligen (de är inte del av originalshowen)!! De har lagts till i efterhand. Ferdinand, en 40-talskortfilm, lades till 1971.

Alla dessa filmer i denna julspecialare, både kortfilmer och "Memorable Moments," härrör från en svunnen tid innan 1990-talets Disney-renässans, dvs. från baby-boomer-generationens barndom (den senaste nykomlingen är Robin Hood, från 1973). Numera är Kalle Ankas Jul alltså en hel tidskapsel fylld med gammaldags klassiska 2D-filmer som känns lika fräscha nu som vid sin premiär i rutan. För nutida och framtida generationer svenskar blir den här julshowen en introduktion till dessa klassiker, som de annars, varken numera eller i framtiden, kommer att få lära känna till.

Nu är vi framme vid temat censur - vad som fanns ursprungligen i rutan och som kan ses numera... Förutom de Memorable Moments som byttes ut har en del av kortfilmernas innehåll också censurerats bort i nyare tider (detta bortcensurerade innehåll går dock att se t ex på YouTube)...

Censur i From All of Us to All of You i SVT (Kalle Ankas Jul):

1. "Tomtens verkstad" - mörkhyad ung kvinnlig docka med flätor som sätter sig på okej-stämpeln ("MAMMA!" som TV Tropes tolkar som en allusion till filmen The Jazz Singer - dockan föreställer en s.k. "gollywog"), gammal manlig docka med helskägg och örnnäsa (ser troligen ut som en jude, TV Tropes specificerar en rabbi, men sedan barnsben har jag tolkat den bara som en gamling).
2. "Djungelns pajas" - hackspetten försöker ta gift, Kalle skjuter på honom med kulspruta.
3. "Campingsemester" - Långben poppar popcorn med gaffel i eluttaget (TV Tropes säger Harmless Electrocution och Popcorn on the Cob), husvagnen kör över järnvägen just när bommarna åker ner och nästan kolliderar med tåget (TV Tropes säger Railroad Tracks of Doom).

Urklippen ur långfilmerna, sk Memorable Moments, och kortfilmerna om "Tjuren Ferdinand" och "Ekorrarna i julgranen" har inte lidit någon censur, så vitt jag vet.

THEME SERIAL KILLERS AND OTHELLO

 A Theme Serial Killer, according to TV Tropes, has to pattern his kills after a famous set, like the seven deadly sins, or a work of fiction. The killer will choose victims who match up with the set and/or he will kill them in manners befitting the set. Note that the killer will avoid repeating methods of murder: each death will represent, in some way, another portion of the set or story. 

In particular, and given my own personal catnip, I want to focus on murders committed by two British Theme Serial Killers in particular, both of them Wicked Cultured (villains with a taste for high culture), one of them with a Shakespearean theme and another with an operatic theme. Naturally, both of them just felt like they had to sink their teeth into having a Desdemona (in one of their cases, with an Othello on the side) on their respective hit lists.

Significantly, both murders took place in the United Kingdom; the Shakespearean one in London town and the Verdian one in a railway yard on the outskirts of Oxford. They also took place around the same time period; Evelyn Balfour née Tate was killed in the 1960s and Maisie Psaltery in the 1970s. 

.....

"Ancora un bacio" (Die On the Third Kiss - my own translation of the lyric!): Desdemona in the Endeavour episode Fugue

Victim: Evelyn Balfour née Tate, a married thirty- or forty-something housewife. She was chosen by the killer because she was involved in his legal trial, being the daughter of a pub barmaid who was a female witness at the trial. Also because Evelyn's first name began with an E, the first note in the lines of the treble clef (another theme the killer followed). Also because Evelyn had been cheating on her husband, Mr. Balfour. Like, having real love affairs, subverting what we expect of a Desdemona stand-in!

Killer: Mason Gull "The Opera Phantom," an unstable musical prodigy who was sentenced to juvie as a teen for matricide.

More Information: Evelyn was strangled by Gull in a railway yard, inside a disused railway carriage (the killer combining Othello and Iago), with a handkerchief embroidered with a capital D stuffed into her mouth (as a clue to which character she represented); he wrote the final words of the Verdian opera by Arrigo Boito, Othello's last words said to the corpse of Desdemona as he kisses her, in original Italian, "ancora un bacio" ("die on the third kiss," in my translation of the libretto on this blog as Miss Dermark's Verdian Othello), on the back of the railway carriage door. The main suspect was Evelyn's (real-life) lover and Cassio counterpart Roy Adamson, imprisoned for the crime. Evelyn Balfour's husband naturally comes under suspicion after her body is found. As does Roy Adamson, her lover, who spends some time in the cells before his name is cleared. 

......

The Psalteries' Marital Crisis: Othello and Desdemona in Theatre of Blood

Victims: Maisie and Solomon Psaltery, an old, as in elderly, happily married couple of caustic theatre critics. Happily until Solomon was cajoled into believing Maisie was flirting with others... They were chosen by the killer for having panned (harshly criticised) his Shakespearean performances on the stage.

Killer: Edward Lionheart, a frustrated Shakespearean thespian whom the Psalteries and other caustic critics had panned, and who had attempted suicide and was presumed dead. Assuming the umpteeenth out of many new identities, he gained the Psalteries' trust and pitted Solomon against Maisie. Taking on the roles of both Iago and Cassio, Lionheart posed as an Italian masseur and gave Maisie a faux-erotic naked massage, not before having told her husband to watch the procedure...

More Information: Just like in the finale of both the Shakespearean and Verdian versions (but having Shakespeare as the source material), Solomon stifled Maisie with a pillow in the couple's bed in a jealous rage. Then, when Solomon realised what he had done (unlike Othello) he did not commit suicide, but rather survived and turned himself willingly to be seized and imprisoned by Scotland Yard for uxoricide (it's implied, though, that his old age and poor health won't let him survive prison for long... and what is harsher in hindsight, Jack Dawkins, who played Solomon Psaltery, died of throat cancer three months after the film's initial release. He had to be live-action dubbed by an uncredited Charles Gray, as his larynx had been removed).

.....

SUMMING UP: "Who Says I Play the Villain?" Or: What Drives Theme Serial Killers to Play Iago?

Both the Shakespeare-themed and the opera-themed serial killer had a multitude of appropriate motifs to choose from, and yet both of them were drawn to the same plot (seen through the lens of Shakespeare and Verdi, respectively), and both cast themselves as Iago. 

Maybe they were drawn to the story for the same reasons that draw me and countless others to pick it as a personal favourite. The way Iago manipulates his fellow humans by using their flaws is something we even admire; even if we do not have access to the gift of people-speaking or the Imperius Curse, this is a form of mind control some of us muggle people can have access to in real life. The way he even poisons, or gaslights, a happy couple of newlyweds into abuse and even murder is also shocking. Even Mr. Burns himself lists Iago in his catalogue of villains in his character song "High to be Loathed," making a shadow puppet of him in Elizabethan garb! And that among the likes of Darth Vader, Lord Voldemort, Megatron, and Skeletor, not to mention Mr. Burns mentioning himself (ie leaning on the fourth wall)! The only fictional character as classic and public domain as Iago in those lyrics is Southern slaver Simon Legree...

So, long story short, we admire Iago for his superb manipulation skills, and love to hate him for his outright wickedness and nihilism and utter disregard for the lives of others, all at the same time. As John Eglinton puts it in Joyce's Ulysses:

-- And what a character is Iago! undaunted John Eglinton exclaimed. When all is said Dumas fils (or is it Dumas père?) is right. After God Shakespeare has created most.

And we're talking a (fictional?) major scholar of Shakespeare here! In fact, Iago is regarded by countless thespians and baritones as a great challenge to perform as because of the many masks you have to don on stage when interacting with all the different co-stars. Iago is cheerful with Cassio, professional with Othello, cold-hearted with the ladies... And, at heart, a sinister riddle wrapped in mystery inside an enigma. Furthermore, that scheming that is required for both being Iago and being a theme serial killer requires a lot of creativity, if you think of that. Creativity warped to serve sinister aims, but nevertheless creativity:

According to A. C. Bradley, “. . . Iago is motivated by a love of excitement and by his perception of himself as an artist.  He derives great pleasure from the successful execution of his complex and dangerous intrigues.”

The same way that Mason Gull is a musical prodigy and Edward Lionheart is an ace thespian. No surprise that both of them would, in their revenge-fueled serial killings, be drawn to the intrigues of Iago, and pick a married wife among their respective lists of victims to cast as Desdemona (in the case of Lionheart and the Psalteries, with her husband co-starring as Othello). If I had a blacker heart and a grudge against a married wife, and more of a knack for persuasion, maybe I would have gone down the same dark path... who knows?

HANS BRIX OM SNEDRONNINGEN 4. HISTORIE / SNOW QUEEN 4TH STORY

 

Hans Brix om Snedronningens fjerde Historie, "Prins og Prinsesse"

Under Udformningen af Grantræet — 4 Dec. 1844 — havde han (HC Andersen), som ovenfor vist, bestemt sig til at sammentrænge »Klods-Hans« — der jo vilde have staaet altfor grelt til sine Omgivelser — til en enkelt Linje. Til Gengæld har han Dagen efter — 5 Dec. — indflettet dette det eneste Eventyr han kunde i Snedronningen. Dette er naturligvis ikkegjort i et ørkesløst Lune. Andersen har for at komme udover det døde Punkt i Fortællingen valgt at skildre Oplevelsen fra 1822 med Søsteren i Eventyrforklædning. Hun drog fra Odense til København i den Tro at finde Broderen som Aladdin i et Slot; men hun — og han — tog fejl; han var ikke Aladdin, og havde ikke fundet Lykken. Om hans Angest for hende i den første Tid derefter minder Skov-Kragens Ord till Gerda: Saadan en lille Pige som du faar aldrig Lov til at komme ordentlig ud. — Det morsomme Indfald med Tjeneres Tjenere, der holder Dreng, er dannet over en Rejseerindring, der fortælles i Mit Livs Eventyr: I Bøhmen havde han hørt en Jøde sige, at han vilde ikke være Konge, det var saa svært, men nok en Konges Kammertjener, ligesom En han havde kendt, der var bleven saa tyk, at han ikke kunde gaa, men maatte atter holde sig igen en Kammertjener. — Hele Skildringen af Hoffet er i det hele gjort med megen Omhu og stort Kendskab; Andersen var bleven en forfaren Mand, siden han sidst havde skildret højere Steder i Eventyrene. —

Hvad Eventyreren selv angaar, da er han ingen Klods-Hans; en saa grotesk Figur lod sig ikke passe ind i denne Ramme; han er derimod en gammel Bekendt, nemlig Soldaten fra Fyrtøjet; han kommer ganske frejdig marcherende lige op til Slottet med sin Ransel paa Ryggen; til Lakajerne nikker han og siger: »Det maa være kedeligt at staa paa Trappen, jeg gaar heller indenfor.«

...

Her (i syvende Historie) træffer Gerda gamle Bekendte, men hverken hun eller Broderen giver Agt paa de Tegn, der møder dem: ... og Prinsen og Prinsessen er rejst til fremmede Lande. — Det vil sige, at det er ikke blot Aarstiden der er draget forbi, men at en Aarrække er gaaet. —

22 Juli 1843 (H.C. Andersens antegninger): Heiberg skrækkeligt medtaget af »Dagen«. Kørt Tur forbi Turebyholm! Skyggespil paa Buskene, idet vi kørte1. Fortalt Eventyr. Grev Moltke Nutschau indtruffet.

1. Cfr. Prinseparrets Drømme i Snedronningen.

Sandra Dermark's Translation, 27th of November 2022

Hans Brix on the Making of the Snow Queen's Fourth Story, "Prince and Princess" 

- We've got the inspiration behind the Prince (we know the Princess may be drawn from Shakespeare's Portia, but here's where her consort came from) as well as the inspiration for there being a hierarchy of gentleman courtiers and their valets and valets' valets - ditto court ladies and their maids and maids' maids. And most importantly the date for the making of this subplot... the 5th of December 1844. So why not make the 5th of December unofficial Fourth-Story-Prince-and-Princess Day and celebrate it by reading the subplot aloud, watching versions of it, looking at illustrations, perusing Maria Tatar's and Hans Brix's analyses (both on this blog), and eating the food mentioned in the subplot: bread and butter (smørrebrød), sugar pretzels (sukkerkringler) and gingerbread nuts/gingersnaps (pebernødder). You can buy the two latter foods, which are the pastries in the golden carriage, at Flying Tiger of Copenhagen in December, since they are Christmas pastries in Denmark.

During the creation of "The Spruce Tree" (AKA "The Christmas Tree") on the 4th of December 1844, Hans Christian Andersen had decided to sum up the Nordic folktale "Simple Simon" ("Klods-Hans"), which would have seemed too lurid and garish for the people of his society surroundings, in a simple, streamlined fashion. On the other hand, on the next day (the 5th of December), he nested this folktale, the only one he could, into The Snow Queen. Naturally, this has not been done in an effortless mood. Andersen has, in order to overcome a dead point or writer's block in his telling of The Snow Queen, chosen to depict the experience with his sister in 1822 in fairytale guise. She came from Odense to Copenhagen with the hope of finding her brother, like Aladdin, at a castle or palace, but both siblings were wrong; Hans Christian was not Aladdin, and he had not found his fortune yet. His anxieties about her in the time shortly afterward are recalled by the forest crow's words to Gerda: "Such a little maiden as you will never be allowed to enter (the royal castle) properly."

The witty irruption about the gentleman courtiers' valets' valets, who keep a pageboy apiece, is created from a memory of his travels, that Andersen tells in his memoirs, The Fairytale of My Life: In Bohemia (the present-day Czech Republic), he had heard a Jew say that he did not want to be king, for that was too difficult, but only a king's valet, like one he had known, who had put on so much weight that he could not walk, but was forced to keep a valet of his own. 

The whole description of the royal court is generally done with lots of care and lots of knowledge about the subject; Andersen had become an experienced man since the last time he had depicted such high places in his tales.

When it comes to the young adventurer himself, he is no Simple Simon; such a grotesque character would never fit into this frame; he is rather an old acquaintance, namely the soldier from "The Tinderbox" (AKA "The Lighter," or "The Firelighter"); he comes rather confidently marching straight up to the castle with his knapsack on his back; to the lackeys on the staircase he nods and says: "It would be tiresome to stand all day on the stairs; I'd rather go inside."

... (Nothing said about the death of the redshirt servants/entourage of the golden carriage)

Here (in the Seventh Story) Gerda meets old acquaintances, but neither she nor her playmate (Kai) pay attention to the signs that they meet: ... and the Prince and the Princess are travelling through foreign lands. 

This means that not only has a season passed (winter changed into spring), but that a whole year cycle has come and gone.

One year and a half before, and we get a possible inspiration for all the dreams of riders haunting the royal castle while HCA was working on a story he called "The Cygnet" ("Ugly Duckling" in the present day):

22nd of July 1843: Heiberg frighteningly shocked by "The Day" (a newspaper). Drove a while by Turebyholm! Shadowplay on the bushes, as we drove our carriage1. Told magic tales. Met Count Moltke Nutschau.

Annotation 1 for "Shadowplay on the bushes:" Compare the dreams of the Prince and Princess in The Snow Queen.

THE CATTLE OF THE SUN (ODYSSEY)

 The Cattle of the Sun
A Little Known Cautionary Tale from the Odyssey

Retold by Carlos Goñi, translated by Sandra Dermark (27th of November, 2022)

Times of plenty call for one kind of self-discipline (as in the story of the goose that laid the golden eggs). Times of hardship call for other sorts of self-restraint. During tough times, people are tempted to put aside social and moral codes. In this episode from Homer's Odyssey, the crew of Odysseus does not have the self-control to pass a tough test...

One of the crossroads through which the forlorn Odysseus has to pass is described by Homer in Canto the Twelfth of the Odyssey. Landing on the island where the Cattle of the Sun pasture, and not to starve to death, Odysseus' crewmen, disobeying their leader's advice, devoured the flesh of those sacred horned heads. The sovereign luminary, seized with terrible sorrow, swore revenge to Zeus, who caused the wreck of the ship. Only the king of Ithaca, who had abstained from eating beef, could arrive safe on land; the rest "a god deprived them of return."

After coasting past the islet of the Sirens, Odysseus' ship was brought by the gods to the bottleneck of the strait, the dwelling place of Charybdis and Scylla, sea monsters who devoured anyone who came too close. However, the expedition was able to pass through the bottleneck unscathed and came to Thrinacria, a flat and green island.

Odysseus and his crew had spent many days without eating, so they landed on that shore that promised to harbour enough provisions to satisfy their hunger for the rest of the journey. They ventured inland with bows, swords, and spears in hand in search of some deer or some boars. Soon they realised that pastures and freshwater were abundant, but that, however, there were no fruit trees or edible tubers. They crested a small hill and came to a mesa as flat as the palm of a hand, where they discovered, to their great elation, a herd of beautiful white cows. The starving sailors readied their spears, about to pounce at the placid cattle, but Odysseus, who knew the horned heads were divine, stopped them saying:

"You may take as much as you want from this island, but leave these cows be, since they are the Cattle of the Sun. Whoever eats of their flesh will have to confront the god of the stars himself."

Upon hearing their captain's order, the sailors grew sad and sat down on the grass, contemplating the enormous white cows that grazed meekly in front of their eyes. Odysseus saw them looking so disappointed that he left them to rest and left to explore the island on his own in search for as much provisions as they needed for the journey ahead.

For a whole day, Odysseus crisscrossed the island of Thrinacria without finding anything else than green meadows. When he returned to the spot where he had left his crewmen he found them eating beef from the sacred cows. They had sacrificed two heads of cattle, one of which had sated their hunger, and the other was being prepared for a whole burnt offering. Upon beholding such a sacrilege, Odysseus flew into a rage: harshly addressing the heavens:

"What are you doing, you fools?! Are you by chance intending to provoke the fury of the gods?! Are you perhaps thinking that by offering one of their sacred beasts as a whole burnt offering, you are going to appease the fury of the king of the heavens?! You have made a terribly stupid mistake. What kind of men are you that have not been able to remain fasting?! Do your guts rule more than your heads?! Then let me be your head and let us flee ere the vengeance of the All-Seeing One falls upon all of us."

Having finished his tirade, the skies darkened and strong winds picked up. Everyone began to run desperately towards the coast. They climbed on board and set sail without delay. A strong gust made the sails swell and suddenly left them far from the island. When they were in open waters, the sky roared with thunder and a huge wave swallowed up the ship. The whole crew perished smashed by the wave, except Odysseus.

The bold sailor king was able to clutch a piece of mast. As he passed once more the bottleneck of the strait, by Charybdis and Scylla, he was nearly sucked up by Charybdis. Luckily, he was able to clutch a fig tree that grew at the entrance to the cave, and thus avoided to enter the grotto of the dreadful monster. When the sea beast spewed out all the saltwater she had sucked in, Odysseus was shot out with such good luck that he was able to seize the piece of mast from before once again. In such precarious conditions, he drifted away with the currents until he landed on a beach near the mouth of a river. There he remained unconscious, hidden among the reeds and shrubbery.

Suggestions

There is some morality, some coded message for humans in relation to the cattle in this mythological excerpt. The explicit interdiction against eating beef from the Cattle of the Sun (which appears both in the Odyssey and in the Hindu belief on sacred cattle) has a clear moral sense. It reminds us of some pretty elementary principles of behaviour, such as: "do not wish to satisfy your appetite immediately," "if you eat the cow, you will not be able to drink the milk," "a cow in the stable is worth two steaks in the barbecue (read "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush")," ... with the aim of not thinking only of "right here right now" (ie instant gratification), but of the future. Whoever is unable to put a stop to instinct, whoever cannot say no or accept no for an answer, whoever cannot see beyond the immediate present, is not human.

Speaking of the divine horned heads brings obvious and irrepressible thoughts of mad cow disease, that years ago dealt a heavy blow to livestock-based British economy and kept half Europe on tenterhooks. Every now and then, nature protests with a new epidemic. Who knows? Maybe these cows are demanding respect, like the Cattle of the Sun?

FOUR TUNA IN PEAR OF TRICKS, MONDAY

 FOUR TUNA IN PEAR OF TRICKS, MONDAY

or,

SOMETHING OLD, AND SOMETHING NEW, (BORROWED FROM THE CARMINA BURANA)

^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

i. the old

OH, FOUR TUNA

Original Lyrics: Vox Pop (Goliard folksong)
Music: Carl Orff
Misheard Lyrics: S. Dermark, originally 6th June MMXV, updated 25th November MMXXII

Oh, four tuna!
Bring more, Luna!
Statuary on big knees!

Some men grate cheese,
hot temperate cheese,
Vimto can taste of kidneys...

You caught two rats,
bet too cool rats,
you don't get cheese or chicken...

Ate chips all day,
hot and salty,
dipped sore feet, good hot chili...

Saucy codpiece...
Get me cod, please!
Brought up to volume in me!

Suck juice from moose!
Finance some moose! (Alt.: Fun with some moose!)
Second these so rude big knees!

Open bra top!
Get 'em loved up!
Leaky foot when near cherries!

Look there, Froot Loop!
Don't sue YouTube!
Farewell to missionaries...

SAW SOME WOOKIEES!
GREAT BIG WOOKIEES!
THEY GIVE YOU GONORRHEA!

THIS FAT BIG PUSS! (Refers to Puss in Shrek Forever After when he becomes obese in the alternate timeline when Rumpelstiltskin rules).

LET'S GIVE HIM BOOTS!
SEND HIM TO NORTH KOREA!

LOVELY YODA,
SEND ME MORE OF
POTATO SOUP AND CHICKEN!

HOT MESS ALL DAY!
SING IT UGLY!
BE GOOD FOOOOOOOOR, PLEASE, LOOOVELY CAAAAKE!!

(EPIC CODA)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^¨¨¨¨^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ii. the new

FOUR TUNA PLAN GO WOOL NEAR RA

A brand new sequel to Oh, Four Tuna

Original Lyrics: Vox Pop (Goliard folksong)
Music: Carl Orff
Misheard Lyrics: S. Dermark, 25th of November MMXXII

Four tuna plan go wool near Ra,

still, Lunt is wuss of Shell is.

Cod soup for me in Moon near Ra,

soup Tre eat rebel is.

Wear oh, is, cod leg in tour,

front, ace, Cappy lotta,

zed plaid... okay ace segway turn

okay's yokel vat, ah!

Wear oh, is, cod leg in tour,

front, ace, Cappy lotta,

zed plaid... okay ace segway turn

okay's yokel vat, ah!

In four tuna's soul, yo,

seder Ramel let us,

Prosper eat tatties, vary yo,

Florrie core ornate us.

Quick quid aim on Florrie,

Felix let the arthouse,

none 'cause sum of Coors, rouille,

glory and private is.

Quick quid aim on Florrie,

Felix let the arthouse,

none 'cause sum of Coors, rouille,

glory and private is.

Four tuna wrought and volving tour,

descent ominorate us,

altering alt and tolling tour,

memes exaltate us.

Exudate inverted Che,

caveat Rue Ena,

'Nam, sub, Axl, leg the most:

Hey, Cuba Regina!

Exudate inverted Che,

caveat Rue Ena,

'Nam, sub, Axl, leg the most:

Hey, Cuba Regina!

DRAGON STUDY DAY - MMXXII UPDATE

 DRAGON STUDY DAY

Original song: Dragostea din tei (Love Beneath the Linden), O-Zone
Misheard lyrics, first translated by Miss Dermark on the 1st of June MMXV, updated by Miss Dermark on the 25th of November MMXXII


My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

Alone, salute, sit there... ooh, hi Duke!
See the rug? You be the man! Please mash the very Uchihas.

'Allo, 'Allo! Sit there, Picasso!
Damn that beep!
(beep beep, beep beep)
She's all unique:
Dark side, Steno, Cher, NIMIC.

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon study day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!

"Too soon", said Spoon.
"Just eat... a comb!"
Alone, you'll be the man! Sit there, very Uchiha.

'Allo, 'Allo! Saint Arashi... Picasso!
Damn that beep!
She's all unique:
Dark side, Steno, Cher, NIMIC.

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon studying day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon study day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

My, a he
my, a Who
my, a car
my, a... ha-ha!

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon studying day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!

Praise the pleasure, Numa, Numa, yay!
Numa, Numa, yay! Numa, Numa, Numa, yay!
Keep it down, Sir! Dragon study day!
Me, I'm impressed, you OK pay!