ACTUALIZACIÓN: He hallado conveniente graduar los momentos teniente en cuanto a hilaridad.
Grados de tenientazgo (hilaridad del momento teniente):
Subteniente
Teniente segundo
Teniente primero
Teniente Coronel
Teniente General
1. Purra ut alemán! (Shove the German out!)
Nordsjön, Martin Nilsson
Hör kommandot i natten som ljuder
Race opp, purra ut alle man!
Misheard as:
Hör kommandot i natten som ljuder
Res opp, purra ut alemán!
Why?
The Spanish Armada had been mentioned in a previous stanza:
Här drar Spaniens stolta armada fram
På sin kurs emot britternas ö
And Philip II had German (mostly Bavarian) mercenaries at his service...
1.5. Alemán, vi blir bärgade då! (German, we will be towed then!)
Briggen Bluebird av Hull, Evert Taube
Dom är här, jumpa i!
alle man vi blir bärgade då
Misheard as:
Dom är här, jumpa i!
alemán, vi blir bärgade då
Why?
A British ship like the Bluebird would have a pretty motley multinational crew (see Moby Dick!) Including Northern Germans, of course! Plus, a Swede said "Jumpa i!" in Swenglish, so "alemán" in Spanish makes perfect sense
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO: Teniente primero
2. Con sesos de mero (With the brains of a grouper fish)
Tequila, Café Quijano
Y yo que soy un caballero,
dos besos le pego con mucha fe.
Me bebo mi ron entero
y con el tequila me echo a perder.
Misheard as:
Y yo que soy un caballero,
con sesos de mero, con mucha fe,
me bebo mi ron entero
y con el tequila me echo a perder.
Why?
Fish have the tiniest and least developed brains in the vertebrate province of the animal kingdom. Only the sensory, motor, and instinctive parts, in a lump the size of a pea in large marine species like groupers.If this guy quaffs distilled liquor without ever breathing, as if he were drinking water, he must have the brains of a grouper fish.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO: Teniente General
2.1. Y hay un pecado también (And there's a sin, too)
La taberna del Buda, Café Quijano
y hay un decano también,
y un abogado también,
Misheard as:
y hay un pecado también,
y un abogado también,
Why?
I didn't know the word "decano" ("dean") as a child. But I knew "pecado" ("sin")...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO: Teniente Coronel
2.2. Y una vaquera, si se quita los tacones (And a cowgirl, if she takes off her heels)
La taberna del Buda, Café Quijano
y una princesa y una portuguesa,
que en nada quedan si se quitan los tacones.
Misheard as:
y una princesa y una portuguesa,
y una vaquera, si se quita los tacones.
Why?
I put two and two together: there are so many diverse people at the bar, that there should be a cowgirl ("vaquera"), like Jessie in the Toy Story films, as well!
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO: Teniente General
2.3. Hay tres vampiros/bandidos, van de corbata (There are three vampires/bandits, they wear cravats).
La taberna del Buda, Café Quijano
hay tres banqueros,
van de corbata,
están casados, los anillos bien guardados;
están casados, los anillos bien guardados;
Misheard as:
hay tres vampiros,
van de corbata,
están casados, los anillos bien guardados;
están casados, los anillos bien guardados;
Also misheard as:
hay tres bandidos,
van de corbata,
están casados, los anillos bien guardados;
están casados, los anillos bien guardados;
Why?
The song is about a bar full of different people. So I simply misheard this verse, first (as a child) with vampires, then (as a teen) with bandits/highwaymen, who also wear cravats and look dashing.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO: Teniente General
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO: Teniente General
3. Vi ser att du ler, vän (We see that you smile, friend)
Sarah, Mauro Scocco
Oh, Sarah, kom ut i kväll.
Jag väntar i hörnet vid Seven-Eleven.
Misheard as:
Oh, Sarah, kom ut i kväll.
Jag väntar i hörnet, vi ser att du ler, vän.
I didn't know 7-Eleven until my first visit to Stockholm, where one can't walk ten metres without sighting a 7-Eleven shop. Later on, I noticed the chain was also widespread in Gothenburg.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
4. Vintersaga, Ted Ström, sung by Monica Törnell
This song, about Swedish geography, supplied a few misheard lyrics indeed...
4.1 E-on i Pajala ger den sista färden (E-on in Pajala hosts the last journey)
Bion i Pajala ger "Den sista färden"
Misheard as:
E-on i Pajala ger den sista färden
Why?By looking in the map, I know that Pajala is one of the northernmost towns in Sweden.This provincial community is near the Torne River and the Finnish border.
I committed two mondegreens here:
- "Bion", "The cinema", as "E-on", name of a power company (Törnell did not pronounce the initial B clearly, and the "i"afterwards sounded more like a long "e").
- I didn't know Den sista färden was the Swedish title of a film (whose original English title is Deliverance).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
4.2 Båtarna släcker sina ljus (The boats put out their lights)
Gårdarna släcker sina ljus
Misheard as:
Båtarna släcker sina ljus
Why?
Törnell pronounced "Gårdarna" ("The farms") in such a way that it sounded like "Båtarna" ("The boats").GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
4.3. Mariabergsbacka
Tät snö som gloppar i Mariabergets backar.
Misheard as:
Tät snö som jobbar i Mariabergsbacka
Why?I simply didn't know where it was and had never been there for the first time. And I didn't have the lyrics. My father told me: "That's in Stockholm". I hadn't been to the capital yet. So I thought the place's name was "Mariabergsbacka", one single word because the speed Monica sung it.
Besides, the verb "att gloppa" ("to slosh") was then unknown to me, so I heard "jobba", "to work".
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
4.4. Mo Maskros ("maskros" means "dandelion")
Och fyllan växer till på Mommas krog
Misheard as:
Och fyllan växer till på Mo Maskros
Why?
Same reasons as 4.3. "Mariabergsbacka".
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
4.5. Ett stormpiskat Marstrand med sitt Pater Noster (A stormy Marstrand with its Pater Noster)
Ett stormpiskat Marstrand ber sitt Pater Noster
Misheard as:
Ett stormpiskat Marstrand med sitt Pater Noster
Why?Being Spanish, I clearly guessed as a child that "Pater Noster" means "Our Father" (the title of the Lord's Prayer in most languages) in Latin.
Pater Noster is also the name of a lighthouse near Marstrand Island, on the Swedish west coast. The iconic red structure can be seen with the naked eye from the ramparts of Carlsten Fortress.
Many a summer holiday, I have been able to view the lighthouse.
Lyricist Ted Ström has created a pun on the name of the lighthouse and the title of the prayer. Törnell, the singer, sings her initial B's rather softly (see 4.1 "Bion"/"E-on"), so I misheard "ber" ("prays") as "med" ("with"), having already established a mental association between Marstrand and the Pater Noster lighthouse. I didn't interpret the occurrence of "Pater Noster" in the lyrics of "Vintersaga" as a reference to the Lord's Prayer. Just as a local landmark, like Carlsten Fortress to put the other Marstrand example.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
5. To better soothe your moon
Smooth, Carlos Santana
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Misheard as:
I could change my life to better soothe your moon
Why?
In those days, I didn't know the verb "to suit" nor the noun "mood". But I knew the verb "to soothe" and that "moon" could also mean "buttocks". So I just heard Carlos say "suit" with a vaguely th-like final T, and "mood" skipping the final D, as in the "moo" a cow makes. Besides, the refrain said "just like the ocean under the moon". The word "moon" was already present in the refrain.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
5.5 Horoscope, get about it
Smooth, Carlos Santana
Or else forget about it
Misheard as:
Horoscope, get about it
Why?
Carlos, constrained by the music, sung the word "forget" with stress on the wrong syllable, as /FOR-get/, which I couldn't perceive. Instead, I made the stressed "for-" in "forget" the stressed syllable of a misheard word. So /OR else FOR-/, with the E in "else" pronounced as a schwa, became "HO-ros-COPE"...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
6.1 ...och Wien, champagne, ja men (...and Vienna, champagne, yes indeed)
Diamanter, Lustans Lakejer
Rio, Bryssel, Zurich, Haag
Parfym, champagne och män
Misheard as:
Rio, Bryssel, Zurich, Haag
och Wien, champagne, ja men
Why?
In Swedish, homophones are "män" ("men") and "men" (usually "but", in conjunction with "ja" ["yes"], "indeed" ["ja men": "yes indeed"]). The first mondegreen was due to the continuing list of cosmopolitan locations on the two previous verses, and the second one a commonly misheard part of the verse.
Upon reading the lyrics and finding out my "ja men" was "och män" ("and men"), I was surprised. The narrator wants male objects of desire/floozies, which leads to the following reflection on the words of the song:
These lyrics typically arise questions about the gender and orientation of the narrator (the singer is male, but he quotes "diamonds are a girl's best friend"...). The song is about a person deciding to become evil and rise to power... but is that person male or female? Queer or straight?
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
6.2. Min stol har alla varit vänd (My chair has been turned away from everyone)
Diamanter, Lustans Lakejer
Är du stor vill alla va' din vän
Misheard as:
Min stol har alla varit vänd
Why?
"Är du" ("If you are") was pronounced so faintly that I could only hear an /i/ sound. Then, I heard "stor" ("great") with a final "R" nearly skipped, as "sto"; "va(ra) din" ("be your") said quickly as "varit" ("has been"); and interpreting "vän" ("friend") as "vänd" ("turned") was a consequence of hearing "stor" as "stol", thinking of a swivel chair, my usual kind of seat. You can turn your back on other people if you're sitting on a swivel chair...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
7. Pretty boy, he's waiting there for you!
Africa, Toto
"Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you!"
Misheard as:
"Pretty boy, he's waiting there for you!"
Why?
The word "Hurry" was pronounced unclearly. And I heard it sounded like "pretty..."
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
7.5. I left the brains
Africa, Toto
I bless the rains down in Africa
Misheard as:
I left the brains down in Africa
Why?
Mishearing "bless" as "left" and "rains" as "brains" in the refrain of this song is a rather common mondegreen. I am not the only one who left her brains before this song.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
8. I wanna come back a-living
Feel, Robbie Williams
I wanna contact the living
Misheard as:
I wanna come back a-living
Why:
He pronounced the "b" in "back" with a /t/-like sound. So I misheard "contact" as "come back". I thought the narrator was a vampire or an undead... In the second stanza, he says:
"I don't wanna die, but I ain't keen on living either". So I interpreted the lyrics as such.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
8.5 Running through my face
Feel, Robbie Williams
Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Misheard as:
Cause I got too much life
Running through my face
Why:
Williams pronounced "veins" as /fayns/, with an initial /f/ sound. And so, I heard "face" and I thought of glowing tears of liquid or ethereal life energy.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
9. Vi samlas fyra tusen på ett litet fält (We gather, four thousand of us, on a little field)
Ângbâtsblues, Cornelis Vreeswijk
Vi samlas flera tusen på ett litet fält
Misheard as:
Vi samlas fyra tusen på ett litet fält
Why:
As a child, I didn't know the Swedish word "flera" ("several"). The closest thing I could hear was "fyra" ("four").
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
10. Sen jag er visat vem som sålde huset och sagt er sanningen om frälsningssjäl (Since I showed you who sold the house, and told you the truth about redemption soul).
Sjuttonde balladen, Evert Taube, sung by Cornelis Vreeswijk
sen jag er visat, vem som tålde ruset,
och sagt er sanningen och frälst min själ.
Misheard as:
sen jag er visat, vem som sålde huset,
och sagt er sanningen om frälsningssjäl.
Why:
Because of Cornelis's pronunciation. He simply pronounced "tålde ruset" ("held his liquor") as "sålde huset" ("sold the house") and said "frälst min själ" so quickly, that it became one single word in my mind (compare 4.3. Mariabergsbacka).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
10.5: ... och nu förfärligt lättsinnig monark ("and now dreadfully indiscrete monarch")
Sjuttonde balladen, Evert Taube, sung by Cornelis Vreeswijk
då kacklar alltid någon gammal höna,
om hur förfärligt lättsinnig man är.
Misheard as:
då kacklar alltid någon gammal höna,
och nu förfärligt lättsinnig monark.
Why:
Because of Cornelis's pronunciation. He pronounced "man är" ("one is") /mon-AR/, the "a" in "man" ("one", as in "one is") with an /o/ sound, and the ä in "är" ("is") with an /a/ sound. And I thought of the reigning King of Sweden, Charles Gustavus XVI...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
11. Paracetamol
De purísima y oro, Joaquín Sabina
“Parfait amour”, rebeca azul marino,
Misheard as:
Paracetamol, rebeca azul marino,
Why:
Parfait amour ("perfect love") is the name of a flower liquor. Sabina didn't pronounce this loanword /pagh-FÄ a-MOUGH/ with a French accent. He pronounced it without making the final T in "parfait" ("perfect") silent or rolling the Rs, and pronouncing "amour" ("love") without the "oo" sound, like Spanish "amor": /par-fet-a-MOR/. Which sounds like "paracetamol" with the Spanish pronunciation. Besides, I didn't knew the liquor as a child. Had Sabina displayed a French accent upon naming it, I would at least believe it was a French loanword instead of the name of a familiar medicine.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
Teniente General
12. Ska jag plocka en gul fleur till dig (Shall I pick a yellow flower for you)
Maria Therese, Robert Broberg
En gullviva jag plockar av kärlek till
dina gula lockar och om Du vill
ska jag plocka ännu fler till dig
Misheard as:En gullviva jag plockar av kärlek till
dina gula lockar och om Du vill
ska jag plocka en gul fleur till dig
Why:This song has a formula repeated through all three stanzas. Compare stanza I:
Jag plockar upp en röd ros av kärlek till
dina röda läppar och om Du vill
ska jag plocka alla rosor här,
And stanza II:En blåklocka jag plockar av kärlek till
dina blåa ögon och om Du vill
alla blåklockorna ska Du få
In stanza III, the song does not name the flower in the third verse, leaving it implicit: "ännu fler (gullvivor)", id est, "even more (primroses)". But, considering "ska jag plocka alla rosor här" ("I shall pick all the roses here") and "alla blåklockorna ska du få" ("all the bluebells will you receive"), I couldn't but mishear, by analogy, "ännu fler" ("even more") as "en gul fleur" ("a yellow flower").GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
13. Min flintskalliga piraya (My bald piranha)
Min piraya Maya, Electric Banana Band
Maya min Maya, min bitska lilla piraya
Misheard as:
Maya min Maya, min flintskalliga piraya
Why:
The verse was said too quickly, so I misheard the central words "bitska lilla" ("fierce little"). Among other things, the singer didn't pronounce the double l in "lilla" ("little"), giving off a /lia/ sound and pronouncing the whole "bitska lilla" as /FLISS-ka-lia/ much like /FLINT-ska-lia/, "flintskalliga" (completely bald). And it's a universal truth that fish haven't got any hair.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
14. Place in the sun
Carol of the Bells, sung by a choir
Raising the sound
Misheard as:
Place in the sun
Why?
Because the choir sung too quickly (compare other examples), making the /z/ in "raising" an /s/ phonetically, /RAY-sin/ and the /au/ in "sound" shortened to an /a/, which made it phonetically /san/, and a homophone of "sun". The Gentle Giant song "Peel the Paint", which uses the same Ukrainian folk melody in a slower tempo, contains the verse "A place in the sun". So it was by this analogy that I came to hear those words in the Carol of the Bells.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
15. You look like a ninja...
Devil in Disguise, Elvis Presley
You look like an angel
Walk like an angel
Talk like an angel
Misheard as:
You look like a ninja
Walk like a ninja
Talk like a ninja
Why:
Because The King pronounced "an angel" as "a-NIN-juh (schwa in the end)".
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
15.5 You're the devil in the sky
Devil in Disguise, Elvis Presley
You're the devil in disguise
Misheard as:
You're the devil in the sky
Why:
The Pelvis himself had pronounced "disguise" with the first "i" to a short /e/ sound, and he didn't pronounce the final /z/ sound, making "disguise" /des-KAIS/ or something like that. And I thought a demon in fluffy-cloud heaven must be a precisely good trickster, of Loki degree.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
16. No can pollute us
We Are the Champions, Queen
No time for losers
'Cause we are the champions
of the world.
Misheard as:
No can pollute us
'Cause we are the champions
of the world.
Why: I heard "for losers" as "pollute us", "pollutants" or "polluters" in this song throughout my childhood...
And I had started getting interested in James Bond. The first bad guy, pitted against Sean Connery, was Dr. No. So if Freddie & Co. are the champions, they're prime targets for supervillains.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
17. Never was a Quaker
The Look, Roxette
Never was a quitter
Misheard as:
Never was a Quaker
Why:
The only Quaker I knew as a child was the one on tin cans of oats for porridge. And I had never heard the word "quitter" as a child. Neither Per Gessle nor Marie Fredriksson look like the Quaker on the Quaker Oats logo, so it was somehow logo-ical. Logo-ical, indeed.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
18. Den där flickan i en Cool Water-sång (That girl in a Cool Water song)
Flickan i en Cole Porter-sâng, Gyllene Tider
Jag vill ha den där flickan i en Cole Porter-sång
Misheard as:
Jag vill ha den där flickan i en Cool Water-sång
Why:
I didn't know there was a singer called Cole Porter in my childhood. But I knew a Cornelis Vreeswijk song titled Cool Water, and I thought Gessle was referring to that song.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
19. Värför stå kvar med en The Bee Gees-låt? (Why stay here with a Bee Gees song?)
800º, Ebba Grön
Vad finns det kvar mer än the biggest blow?
Misheard as:
Värför stå kvar med en The Bee Gees-låt?
Why:
Not having read the lyrics as a child, I didn't know the second half of the verse was in English. So I misheard they were still singing in Swedish, and the only foreign words they said to be the name of a band whose ridiculous falsettos Ebba Grön (a hard rock quartet) would obviously disapprove of.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
20. Vi ska bjuda Nina nu (We will invite Nina now)
Vi är pâ gâng, Tomas Ledin
Vi ska löpa linan ut
kasta loss
Misheard as:
Vi ska bjuda Nina nu
kasta loss
Why:
My favourite Ledin song has been misheard by me since I was 7, up until my teens, because I didn't know the Swedish idiom "löpa linan ut" (to let one's hair down). So I simply misheard it as the closest words I could think of.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
21. I en byrålåda i sin foajé (In a drawer in her foyer)
Han satte foten i en potta, Hasse Alfredsson
Och möttes av sin fru Charlotta,
som också har sin fot i kläm
(i en byrålåda i en chiffonjé, olé!)
Misheard as:
Och möttes av sin fru Charlotta,
som också har sin fot i kläm
(i en byrålåda i sin foajé, olé!)
Why:
As a child, I didn't know the word "chiffonjé" ("chiffonier"). But I knew a similar French loanword "foajé" ("foyer") and the closest thing I could think of to "chiffonjé" was "sin foajé".
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
22. Flash and Nash behind your bag
Early Morning Wake-Up Call, Flash and the Pan
Flashing knives behind your back
Misheard as:
Flash and Nash behind your bag
Why:
The group's name was shortened to Flash, and Nash for "knives" came partially due to the pronunciation of the I in "knIves" as an /a/-like short vowel, and also because of the rhyme (Flash and Nash). And the final sound in "back" was rather soft, so I heard it as "bag". I thought the song was about a Flash and the Pan fanboy/fangirl starting a tribute band. Thus, I was as aware of the upcoming backstabbing as Renly Baratheon.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
23. Vingar, Mikael Rickfors
This song was completely butchered by me as a child, due to the presence of economic terms and to Rickfors's pronunciation.
23. 1. Stanza 1: Jag har hanterat på livet (I have handled life)
Jag har amorterat på livet,
Misheard as:
Jag har hanterat på livet,
Why:
Children are especially interested in economical terms (just joking once more)... I didn't know that verb ("amortera": "to mortgage"). So as usual, I picked the closest word I knew: "hantera", "to handle").
23. 2. Stått längst bak i kur/aldrig tagit ur nån lur (I've always stood in the furthest sentry box/never taken a nap)
Jag har amorterat på livet,
stått längst bak i kön
Aldrig haft semester
eller tagit ut nån lön
Misheard as:
Jag har hanterat på livet,
stått längst bak i kur
Aldrig haft semester
eller tagit ut nån lur
Why:
On "hantera", see 23.1. Rickfors pronounced the "ö" in "kön" ("the queue") and "lön" ("salary") with a sound similar to the long ü in Lübeck, while dropping the final N:s: /küü/, /lüü/. Which I interpreted as "kur" ("sentry box") and "lur" ("nap") respectively. And I thought of the narrator as a military person wishing to break free from the constraints of life in the ranks.
23. 3. I skuggan av en dräng (In the shade of a manservant)
Jag skymtar en förmögenhet
i skuggan av en dröm
Misheard as:
Jag skymtar en förmögenhet
i skuggan av en dräng
Why:
Rickfors pronounced the "ö" in "dröm" ("dream") as an "ü" or "ä" sound, so I misheard this word as "dräng" ("manservant"). I interpreted this as the fact that the narrator wants to stop being a servant to the State and/or the system (see 23.2.)
23. 4. Med mina vingar ska jag vinka och säga: "Heja, ma!" ("With my wings, I will wave and say, "Hi, ma!")
Mina vingar ska jag vinna och säja ”Hej, jag vann”
Misheard as:
Med mina vingar ska jag vinka och säja ”Heja, ma!”
Why:
The first time I heard this song, my father told me to wave a hand from the car window as this very verse was playing. No surprise I misheard "vinna" ("to win") as "vinka" ("to wave") throughout my childhood and always waved at this verse.
The fact that it also contained the word "hej" or "heja" (both mean "Hi!") reinforced the idea of waving.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO (de toda la canción):
24. Make Your Own Cross, Flash and the Pan
(Otherwise known for me as "Song for Nico Robin" or "Song for Luna Lovegood")
Like Vingar and Vintersaga, this song was butchered by me into my late teens.
24.1. Carbon poppy girl, face of painted virgin
She come in many colours
Carbon copy girl
Face of painted virtue
A banner to unfurl
Misheard as:
She come in many colours
Carbon poppy girl
Face of painted virgin
A banner to unfurl
Why?
"Carbon poppy": I heard "poppy" instead of "copy". After all, poppies are carbon-based like the rest of life on this bluish-green planet. And they come in many colours (at least in red, yellow, and white). And the flowers of the fallen on the battlefield...
"Face of painted virgin": A couple of verses ("A sower of religion" and "Make your own cross") suggested a religious leitmotif in the lyrics. I didn't know how the word "virtue" was pronounced, so I hear /PAIN-ted VEUR-djü/ and think of "painted virgin", of an image or sculpture of the Virgin Mary, a religious image familiar to me.
24.2. Sally, so she pretty/Historical raider
Solid social breeding
Aristocratic stock
Historical orator
With one eye on the clock
Misheard as:
Sally, so she pretty
Aristocratic stock
Historical raider
With one eye on the clock
I didn't hear "social breeding", but "so she pretty", because the "ee" in "breeding" was sung as a short "e" sound rather than a long one.
And "raider" for "orator": the "t" in "orator" was rather slurred, and I thought of a girl like Lara Croft, a brave and active female studying the past and its sacred grounds... What do they call Lara Croft?
24.3. A gardener of eerie, barrister of facts, a sower of religion, quick to view The Acts
A gardener of theory
Harvester of facts
A sower of religion
Quick to use the axe
Misheard as:
A gardener of eerie
barrister of facts
A sower of religion
Quick to view the Acts
Why?
"Of theory"/"Of eerie": Just "theory" was one of the English words I tried to avoid to speak out loud as a child, being unsure of its pronunciation, until I heard and saw it on screen in a subtitled DVD film (another one of these words was "lieutenant"!). But I knew the word "eerie", and I guessed the song was about a special and learned girl like me (PS. Back then, I knew "eerie" but not "Eyrie", so I'm pretty sure this girl wouldn't have done Littlefinger's landscaping. Besides, that's a rather craggy place!).
"harvester"/"barrister": I knew "harvest" /HAH-vest/ but not that the derived word was with a short A /HAR-ves-ter/. So I misheard "barrister"...
"use the axe"/"view The Acts": The former verse had the word "religion" in it. And the refrain says: "Make your own cross". And this girl appears to be interested in history. So I thought the lyrics referred to her consulting the Acts of the Apostles.
24.4. Of studying past years
She drown herself in questions
Of static, past years
Misheard as:
She drown herself in questions
Of studying past years
Why?
Because I thought she's an intellectual, I misheard "static", a hitherto unknown word to me, as "study"/"studying".
24.5. Death, oh, cheers!
Is staggered by the answers
And blinded by the tears
And deaf in both her ears
Misheard as:
Is staggered by the answers
And blinded by the tears
death, oh, cheers!
Why?
I thought this girl was going to be punished by the system. She's a female Christ or Luther figure, somewhat like Hypatia. Hence the idea of carrying the cross. She wishes to carry her own cross, the one she crafted herself, not the one the authorities made for her. So I misheard "deaf" as "death" on the premise of crucifixion, and "her ears" as "cheers" because I presumed she might be drinking to her own fate, like Jesus in the Last Supper.
25.6. "Make your own cross!" She told them from herself
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told him from her cell
Misheard as:
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them from herself
Why:
I thought she had already been nailed to the cross and was addressing the authorities below:
"Make your own cross, don't sit on someone else!" honestly, for she thought they were the ones who should execute themselves, instead of picking her as a scapegoat to suffer terribly before she died on the cross.
25.7. Don't wait to be of burden
Don't wait to be unburdened
Misheard as:
Don't wait to be of burden
Why:
I thought of "to be of burden", as in "beast of burden". What if a revolution broke out (the "pagan revolution" misheard later on) and the people turned against the authorities, making them scapegoats themselves? They would thus have waited to "be of burden" by carrying the crosses of others.
25. 8. And always she gets falling down
She trailblaze to the doorway
In triumph and full shout
And always gets locked out
Misheard as:
She trailblaze to the doorway
In triumph and full shout
And always she gets falling down
Why:
At this stage in the plot, some years have passed and she's gone down in history as a heretic who deserved the punishment she was given (like Hypatia). As a villainess. History is written by the winners. But that will soon change...
25. 9. Marks up her mind and says "I'm free!"
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross as she
Locks up her mind and says I'm free
Misheard as:
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm free
Why:
I just misheard "locks up" as "marks up" because the "o" in "locks" sounded like a long A or /AH/. She "marks up her mind" while pointing upwards to higher ideals, such as freedom from zealotry. Which means people in another era start reading her forbidden works and take inspiration from them. Long after her death on the cross, she's free in spirit, in the imagination of this new generation.
25.10. The pagan revolution... diplomacy's the factor...
She cries out from her conscience
An everlasting scream
The weekend revolution
The winner by a dream
She drive herself on edges
And round the bend as well
But if lunacy's a factor
She'll make it to the other side of...
Misheard as:
She cries out from her conscience
An everlasting scream
The pagan revolution
The winner by a dream
She drive herself on edges
And round the bend as well
But diplomacy's the factor
She'll make it to the other side of...
Why:
At first, I thought "weekend" sung by these Flash people in this verse was "pecan" (the nuts!), then I altered it to fit the alleged theme of the song. During the French Revolution, patriarchal Catholicism was replaced by force with a goddess cult (the central deity, Raison, was analogous to Athena/Minerva, Idunn in Scandinavia, and the Crone in Westeros). And I misheard "if lunacy" as "diplomacy": in the sense of peace-making and promoting tolerance. "But diplomacy's the factor, she'll make it to the other side of hell". She is finally redeemed and rediscovered as a heroine, much like Hypatia or any other martyr of science or philosophy.
Full misheard lyrics (also known as the "Nico Robin Anthem" or the "Luna Lovegood Anthem"):
She come in many colours
Carbon poppy girl
Face of painted virgin
A banner to unfurl
Sally, so she pretty
Aristocratic stock
Historical raider
With one eye on the clock
A gardener of eerie
barrister of facts
A sower of religion
Quick to view the Acts
She drown herself in questions
Of studying past years
Is staggered by the answers
And blinded by the tears
death, oh, cheers!
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them from herself
Don't wait to be of burden
Don't wait to hear the bell
Make your own cross
And make it to the other side of hell
She ride the social climate
And charge from left to right
A multitude of heroes
To guide her to the light
By mental acrobatics
And living inside out
She trailblaze to the doorway
In triumph and full shout
And always she gets falling down
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them from herself
Don't wait to be of burden
Don't wait to hear the bell
Make your own cross
And make it to the other side of hell
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm free
She cries out from her conscience
An everlasting scream
The pagan revolution
The winner by a dream
She drive herself on edges
And round the bend as well
But diplomacy's the factor
She'll make it to the other side of...
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
And whistle to the wind
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Then, end where you begin
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them all to give
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't die... Before...
You live
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all her friends to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm free
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm
free!!
I leave my version of the song for you to interpret.
Take the misheard lyrics' explanations as clues.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO (de toda la canción):
26. Screw your carrots to the sticking blades!
The Mob Song, Beauty and the Beast
Gaston:
Screw your courage to the sticking place!
Misheard as:
Gaston:
Screw your carrots to the sticking blades!
The most interesting thing is that otherwise uncultured huntsman Gaston is actually quoting Macbeth ("Screw your courage to the sticking place!")!!
Somewhere in Stratford, a playwright was tossing and turning in his coffin... when I first watched Beauty and the Beast in English.
Then, I thought of carrots fixed on guns' bayonets... phallic carrots, to suit that macho Gaston? ("courage" as "carrots", and "place" as "blades". "Sticking blades: bayonets"...).
What would Freud have said?
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
27. Sammy, hada (Sammy, fairy)
Embrujada, Tino Casal
Stop mi hada
estrella invitada
Misheard as:
Sammy, hada
estrella invitada
Why?
The singer, Casal, pronounced "stop" as /stap/, the "o" with a short /a/ sound. And the lyrics (in stanza 2) give away the character's name as Samantha.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
28. Och jag tog gift och fick ett barn (And I took poison, and I had a child)
Teddybjörnen Fredriksson, Lasse Berghagen
Och jag blev gift och fick ett barn
Misheard as:
Och jag tog gift och fick ett barn
Why?
The Swedish language has actually got words that sound and are spelled the same ("gift", pronounced /yift/) for "married" and "poison". Clever, eh? (Now I'm thinking about Joffrey and what I told my Throny friends in Sweden when he died!)
The collocation "att bli gift" means "to marry" or "to get married", while "att ta gift" means "to take poison" (Now I'm thinking about Joffrey and what I told my Throny friends in Sweden when he died!).
As a child, I did not know the former collocation, but I knew the latter...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
29. And tremble like a frog
Let's Dance, David Bowie
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower
Misheard as:
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a frog
Why?
I did not know the lyrics, and I have always loved amphibians... and the "ow" sound in that "flower" sounded more like the "o" in "frog" or the "long a" in "car"... So yes, I went from Bowie's pronunciation...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
29.2. And tremble like a flan
Let's Dance, David Bowie
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower
Misheard as:
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flan
Why?
During last year, I noticed that Bowie said actually something more like /flah/ or /flar/. Besides, "tremble like a frog" made barely a little sense. So I put two and two together and thought that Bowie was saying "tremble like a flan". A flan is a custard pudding, very popular as a dessert in Spain.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
30. La donna immobile (The motionless woman/lady/donna)
Rigoletto, Giuseppe Verdi & Francesco Maria Piave
La donna è mobile
Misheard as:
La donna immobile
Why?
I had never read the lyrics as a child. So, instead of "La donna è mobile" (Women/Ladies are Inconstant), I heard "La donna immobile" (more than just the opposite statement!)
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
31. Ada har legat med Harry Potter i natt (Ada has lain with Harry Potter tonight)
Engelska flottan, Lasse Dahlquist
(Not mine, but that of a Swedish child. Contributed by Mona Utsten)
Ada har legat med papiljotter i natt,
och satt extra rött på kinden.
Misheard as:
Ada har legat med Harry Potter i natt,
och satt extra rött på kinden.
Why?
A little girl in Sweden didn't know what old-fashioned "papiljotter" (hair curlers), were, so she misheard it as the fact that Ada had been sleeping with the only son of Lily and James P.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
Teniente General
32. Entendez-vous dans nos/les campagnes mugir Céféro, ce soldat? (Do you hear in our/the countryside the roar of Céféro, that soldier?)
La Marseillaise, Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes
mugir ces féroces soldats ?
Misheard as:
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes
mugir Céféro, ce soldat ?
Why?
Ever since the national anthem came to be with the first French Revolution, countless children and some adults have believed in the existence of this invading soldier by the strange name of Céféro (the traditional Germanophone enemy of France in his Pickelhaube and Prussian blue Imperial or black Schutzstaffel uniform?), before they read the lyrics or having forgotten them, when it's actually talk about "those fierce soldiers" (obviously, the Austrians and Prussians who declared war on the newborn Republic of France).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
33. Colores intensos que reflejen tu cara de vieja (Intense/bright colours that reflect your old lady face)
Sólo pienso en tí, Miguel Bosé
Colores intensos que reflejen tu rara belleza
Misheard as:
Colores intensos que reflejen tu cara de vieja
Why?
Here's another song I (and my mum, for that matter) misheard back in the 90s, when this song popped up a lot on Spanish TV one summer late in that decade and quickly became "the song of the summer". Now I remember it was when Digimon Adventure premiered in Spain and quickly attracted my interest (the human characters, the Chosen Ones, were and are more aesthetically pleasing and with far more character development than the Pokémon Trainers, so you can guess which series franchise I prefer). That year they did another anime I loved as a child, and it was Pollyanna, the adventures (and mishaps) of a sunny, freckled orphan girl in the antebellum South US. But as vivid as my memories of these two shows are those of the song of that summer... It was 2000 itself, now I remember. The song had a great summery video of a young girl swimming in a vast blue pool under the sun, a video that makes one's mood shoot up to Pollyanna levels. As a child, I did not understand why the lyrics should be "cara de vieja" ("old lady face"), and mum was even more puzzled. And we remained in that state of dark mishearing until a ray of light came when I bought the CD in which the song first appeared a few years ago, as a young adult in my twenties, and we were first introduced to the lyrics. The fact that the lyrics actually said "rara belleza" ("strange/rare beauty") made me have an epiphany, see the light, the fog had lifted. At last the song makes sense to me (and to mum as well).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
Teniente General
34. Un café por hacer (A cup of coffee to make)
Hacer por hacer, Miguel Bosé
Nunca hacer por hacer
Misheard as:
Un café por hacer
Why?
There is another Bosé song that sounds equally erotic, Morena mía, that has the following verses:
Suave bien bien
que nadie como tú me sabe hacer … café
And the start of the line in Hacer por hacer was easy to mishear, linking both lyrics, as "Un café por hacer". As a kid I didn't know Bosé was gay (I knew Zeus and Ganymede, Poseidon and Pelops, Apollo and Hyacinth, Kunzite and Zoisite, Touya and Yukito, Kurogane and Fai were, on the other hand) and thought he was singing about his sexperiences with the same coffee-brewing girl (some barista?).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
35. Agua de sed (Water of thirst)
Furia caballo del west, Enrique y Ana
Furia, caballo del west
que bebe solo café
y se cepilla los dientes con agua de selz
Misheard as:
Furia, caballo del west
que bebe solo café
y se cepilla los dientes con agua de sed
Why?
Few comments. The causes for this slip are quite obvious, including the childlike youth of the novice listener (a decade ago, in my early teens), the lack of lyrics, and simple associations.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
Vad finns det kvar mer än the biggest blow?
Misheard as:
Värför stå kvar med en The Bee Gees-låt?
Why:
Not having read the lyrics as a child, I didn't know the second half of the verse was in English. So I misheard they were still singing in Swedish, and the only foreign words they said to be the name of a band whose ridiculous falsettos Ebba Grön (a hard rock quartet) would obviously disapprove of.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
20. Vi ska bjuda Nina nu (We will invite Nina now)
Vi är pâ gâng, Tomas Ledin
Vi ska löpa linan ut
kasta loss
Misheard as:
Vi ska bjuda Nina nu
kasta loss
Why:
My favourite Ledin song has been misheard by me since I was 7, up until my teens, because I didn't know the Swedish idiom "löpa linan ut" (to let one's hair down). So I simply misheard it as the closest words I could think of.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
21. I en byrålåda i sin foajé (In a drawer in her foyer)
Han satte foten i en potta, Hasse Alfredsson
Och möttes av sin fru Charlotta,
som också har sin fot i kläm
(i en byrålåda i en chiffonjé, olé!)
Misheard as:
Och möttes av sin fru Charlotta,
som också har sin fot i kläm
(i en byrålåda i sin foajé, olé!)
Why:
As a child, I didn't know the word "chiffonjé" ("chiffonier"). But I knew a similar French loanword "foajé" ("foyer") and the closest thing I could think of to "chiffonjé" was "sin foajé".
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
22. Flash and Nash behind your bag
Early Morning Wake-Up Call, Flash and the Pan
Flashing knives behind your back
Misheard as:
Flash and Nash behind your bag
Why:
The group's name was shortened to Flash, and Nash for "knives" came partially due to the pronunciation of the I in "knIves" as an /a/-like short vowel, and also because of the rhyme (Flash and Nash). And the final sound in "back" was rather soft, so I heard it as "bag". I thought the song was about a Flash and the Pan fanboy/fangirl starting a tribute band. Thus, I was as aware of the upcoming backstabbing as Renly Baratheon.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
23. Vingar, Mikael Rickfors
This song was completely butchered by me as a child, due to the presence of economic terms and to Rickfors's pronunciation.
23. 1. Stanza 1: Jag har hanterat på livet (I have handled life)
Jag har amorterat på livet,
Misheard as:
Jag har hanterat på livet,
Why:
Children are especially interested in economical terms (just joking once more)... I didn't know that verb ("amortera": "to mortgage"). So as usual, I picked the closest word I knew: "hantera", "to handle").
23. 2. Stått längst bak i kur/aldrig tagit ur nån lur (I've always stood in the furthest sentry box/never taken a nap)
Jag har amorterat på livet,
stått längst bak i kön
Aldrig haft semester
eller tagit ut nån lön
Misheard as:
Jag har hanterat på livet,
stått längst bak i kur
Aldrig haft semester
eller tagit ut nån lur
Why:
On "hantera", see 23.1. Rickfors pronounced the "ö" in "kön" ("the queue") and "lön" ("salary") with a sound similar to the long ü in Lübeck, while dropping the final N:s: /küü/, /lüü/. Which I interpreted as "kur" ("sentry box") and "lur" ("nap") respectively. And I thought of the narrator as a military person wishing to break free from the constraints of life in the ranks.
23. 3. I skuggan av en dräng (In the shade of a manservant)
Jag skymtar en förmögenhet
i skuggan av en dröm
Misheard as:
Jag skymtar en förmögenhet
i skuggan av en dräng
Why:
Rickfors pronounced the "ö" in "dröm" ("dream") as an "ü" or "ä" sound, so I misheard this word as "dräng" ("manservant"). I interpreted this as the fact that the narrator wants to stop being a servant to the State and/or the system (see 23.2.)
23. 4. Med mina vingar ska jag vinka och säga: "Heja, ma!" ("With my wings, I will wave and say, "Hi, ma!")
Mina vingar ska jag vinna och säja ”Hej, jag vann”
Misheard as:
Med mina vingar ska jag vinka och säja ”Heja, ma!”
Why:
The first time I heard this song, my father told me to wave a hand from the car window as this very verse was playing. No surprise I misheard "vinna" ("to win") as "vinka" ("to wave") throughout my childhood and always waved at this verse.
The fact that it also contained the word "hej" or "heja" (both mean "Hi!") reinforced the idea of waving.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO (de toda la canción):
24. Make Your Own Cross, Flash and the Pan
(Otherwise known for me as "Song for Nico Robin" or "Song for Luna Lovegood")
Like Vingar and Vintersaga, this song was butchered by me into my late teens.
24.1. Carbon poppy girl, face of painted virgin
She come in many colours
Carbon copy girl
Face of painted virtue
A banner to unfurl
Misheard as:
She come in many colours
Carbon poppy girl
Face of painted virgin
A banner to unfurl
Why?
"Carbon poppy": I heard "poppy" instead of "copy". After all, poppies are carbon-based like the rest of life on this bluish-green planet. And they come in many colours (at least in red, yellow, and white). And the flowers of the fallen on the battlefield...
"Face of painted virgin": A couple of verses ("A sower of religion" and "Make your own cross") suggested a religious leitmotif in the lyrics. I didn't know how the word "virtue" was pronounced, so I hear /PAIN-ted VEUR-djü/ and think of "painted virgin", of an image or sculpture of the Virgin Mary, a religious image familiar to me.
24.2. Sally, so she pretty/Historical raider
Solid social breeding
Aristocratic stock
Historical orator
With one eye on the clock
Misheard as:
Sally, so she pretty
Aristocratic stock
Historical raider
With one eye on the clock
I didn't hear "social breeding", but "so she pretty", because the "ee" in "breeding" was sung as a short "e" sound rather than a long one.
And "raider" for "orator": the "t" in "orator" was rather slurred, and I thought of a girl like Lara Croft, a brave and active female studying the past and its sacred grounds... What do they call Lara Croft?
24.3. A gardener of eerie, barrister of facts, a sower of religion, quick to view The Acts
A gardener of theory
Harvester of facts
A sower of religion
Quick to use the axe
Misheard as:
A gardener of eerie
barrister of facts
A sower of religion
Quick to view the Acts
Why?
"Of theory"/"Of eerie": Just "theory" was one of the English words I tried to avoid to speak out loud as a child, being unsure of its pronunciation, until I heard and saw it on screen in a subtitled DVD film (another one of these words was "lieutenant"!). But I knew the word "eerie", and I guessed the song was about a special and learned girl like me (PS. Back then, I knew "eerie" but not "Eyrie", so I'm pretty sure this girl wouldn't have done Littlefinger's landscaping. Besides, that's a rather craggy place!).
"harvester"/"barrister": I knew "harvest" /HAH-vest/ but not that the derived word was with a short A /HAR-ves-ter/. So I misheard "barrister"...
"use the axe"/"view The Acts": The former verse had the word "religion" in it. And the refrain says: "Make your own cross". And this girl appears to be interested in history. So I thought the lyrics referred to her consulting the Acts of the Apostles.
24.4. Of studying past years
She drown herself in questions
Of static, past years
Misheard as:
She drown herself in questions
Of studying past years
Why?
Because I thought she's an intellectual, I misheard "static", a hitherto unknown word to me, as "study"/"studying".
24.5. Death, oh, cheers!
Is staggered by the answers
And blinded by the tears
And deaf in both her ears
Misheard as:
Is staggered by the answers
And blinded by the tears
death, oh, cheers!
Why?
I thought this girl was going to be punished by the system. She's a female Christ or Luther figure, somewhat like Hypatia. Hence the idea of carrying the cross. She wishes to carry her own cross, the one she crafted herself, not the one the authorities made for her. So I misheard "deaf" as "death" on the premise of crucifixion, and "her ears" as "cheers" because I presumed she might be drinking to her own fate, like Jesus in the Last Supper.
25.6. "Make your own cross!" She told them from herself
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told him from her cell
Misheard as:
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them from herself
Why:
I thought she had already been nailed to the cross and was addressing the authorities below:
"Make your own cross, don't sit on someone else!" honestly, for she thought they were the ones who should execute themselves, instead of picking her as a scapegoat to suffer terribly before she died on the cross.
25.7. Don't wait to be of burden
Don't wait to be unburdened
Misheard as:
Don't wait to be of burden
Why:
I thought of "to be of burden", as in "beast of burden". What if a revolution broke out (the "pagan revolution" misheard later on) and the people turned against the authorities, making them scapegoats themselves? They would thus have waited to "be of burden" by carrying the crosses of others.
25. 8. And always she gets falling down
She trailblaze to the doorway
In triumph and full shout
And always gets locked out
Misheard as:
She trailblaze to the doorway
In triumph and full shout
And always she gets falling down
Why:
At this stage in the plot, some years have passed and she's gone down in history as a heretic who deserved the punishment she was given (like Hypatia). As a villainess. History is written by the winners. But that will soon change...
25. 9. Marks up her mind and says "I'm free!"
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross as she
Locks up her mind and says I'm free
Misheard as:
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm free
Why:
I just misheard "locks up" as "marks up" because the "o" in "locks" sounded like a long A or /AH/. She "marks up her mind" while pointing upwards to higher ideals, such as freedom from zealotry. Which means people in another era start reading her forbidden works and take inspiration from them. Long after her death on the cross, she's free in spirit, in the imagination of this new generation.
25.10. The pagan revolution... diplomacy's the factor...
She cries out from her conscience
An everlasting scream
The weekend revolution
The winner by a dream
She drive herself on edges
And round the bend as well
But if lunacy's a factor
She'll make it to the other side of...
Misheard as:
She cries out from her conscience
An everlasting scream
The pagan revolution
The winner by a dream
She drive herself on edges
And round the bend as well
But diplomacy's the factor
She'll make it to the other side of...
Why:
At first, I thought "weekend" sung by these Flash people in this verse was "pecan" (the nuts!), then I altered it to fit the alleged theme of the song. During the French Revolution, patriarchal Catholicism was replaced by force with a goddess cult (the central deity, Raison, was analogous to Athena/Minerva, Idunn in Scandinavia, and the Crone in Westeros). And I misheard "if lunacy" as "diplomacy": in the sense of peace-making and promoting tolerance. "But diplomacy's the factor, she'll make it to the other side of hell". She is finally redeemed and rediscovered as a heroine, much like Hypatia or any other martyr of science or philosophy.
Full misheard lyrics (also known as the "Nico Robin Anthem" or the "Luna Lovegood Anthem"):
She come in many colours
Carbon poppy girl
Face of painted virgin
A banner to unfurl
Sally, so she pretty
Aristocratic stock
Historical raider
With one eye on the clock
A gardener of eerie
barrister of facts
A sower of religion
Quick to view the Acts
She drown herself in questions
Of studying past years
Is staggered by the answers
And blinded by the tears
death, oh, cheers!
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them from herself
Don't wait to be of burden
Don't wait to hear the bell
Make your own cross
And make it to the other side of hell
She ride the social climate
And charge from left to right
A multitude of heroes
To guide her to the light
By mental acrobatics
And living inside out
She trailblaze to the doorway
In triumph and full shout
And always she gets falling down
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't sit on someone else
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them from herself
Don't wait to be of burden
Don't wait to hear the bell
Make your own cross
And make it to the other side of hell
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm free
She cries out from her conscience
An everlasting scream
The pagan revolution
The winner by a dream
She drive herself on edges
And round the bend as well
But diplomacy's the factor
She'll make it to the other side of...
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
And whistle to the wind
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Then, end where you begin
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
She told them all to give
Make your own cross
Make your own cross
Don't die... Before...
You live
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all her friends to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm free
She makes her own cross and she
Hangs there for all the world to see
She makes her own cross and she
marks up her mind and says I'm
free!!
I leave my version of the song for you to interpret.
Take the misheard lyrics' explanations as clues.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO (de toda la canción):
26. Screw your carrots to the sticking blades!
The Mob Song, Beauty and the Beast
Gaston:
Screw your courage to the sticking place!
Misheard as:
Gaston:
Screw your carrots to the sticking blades!
The most interesting thing is that otherwise uncultured huntsman Gaston is actually quoting Macbeth ("Screw your courage to the sticking place!")!!
Somewhere in Stratford, a playwright was tossing and turning in his coffin... when I first watched Beauty and the Beast in English.
Then, I thought of carrots fixed on guns' bayonets... phallic carrots, to suit that macho Gaston? ("courage" as "carrots", and "place" as "blades". "Sticking blades: bayonets"...).
What would Freud have said?
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
27. Sammy, hada (Sammy, fairy)
Embrujada, Tino Casal
Stop mi hada
estrella invitada
Misheard as:
Sammy, hada
estrella invitada
Why?
The singer, Casal, pronounced "stop" as /stap/, the "o" with a short /a/ sound. And the lyrics (in stanza 2) give away the character's name as Samantha.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
28. Och jag tog gift och fick ett barn (And I took poison, and I had a child)
Teddybjörnen Fredriksson, Lasse Berghagen
Och jag blev gift och fick ett barn
Misheard as:
Och jag tog gift och fick ett barn
Why?
The Swedish language has actually got words that sound and are spelled the same ("gift", pronounced /yift/) for "married" and "poison". Clever, eh? (Now I'm thinking about Joffrey and what I told my Throny friends in Sweden when he died!)
The collocation "att bli gift" means "to marry" or "to get married", while "att ta gift" means "to take poison" (Now I'm thinking about Joffrey and what I told my Throny friends in Sweden when he died!).
As a child, I did not know the former collocation, but I knew the latter...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
29. And tremble like a frog
Let's Dance, David Bowie
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower
Misheard as:
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a frog
Why?
I did not know the lyrics, and I have always loved amphibians... and the "ow" sound in that "flower" sounded more like the "o" in "frog" or the "long a" in "car"... So yes, I went from Bowie's pronunciation...
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
29.2. And tremble like a flan
Let's Dance, David Bowie
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flower
Misheard as:
If you should fall
Into my arms
And tremble like a flan
Why?
During last year, I noticed that Bowie said actually something more like /flah/ or /flar/. Besides, "tremble like a frog" made barely a little sense. So I put two and two together and thought that Bowie was saying "tremble like a flan". A flan is a custard pudding, very popular as a dessert in Spain.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
30. La donna immobile (The motionless woman/lady/donna)
Rigoletto, Giuseppe Verdi & Francesco Maria Piave
La donna è mobile
Misheard as:
La donna immobile
Why?
I had never read the lyrics as a child. So, instead of "La donna è mobile" (Women/Ladies are Inconstant), I heard "La donna immobile" (more than just the opposite statement!)
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
31. Ada har legat med Harry Potter i natt (Ada has lain with Harry Potter tonight)
Engelska flottan, Lasse Dahlquist
(Not mine, but that of a Swedish child. Contributed by Mona Utsten)
Ada har legat med papiljotter i natt,
och satt extra rött på kinden.
Misheard as:
Ada har legat med Harry Potter i natt,
och satt extra rött på kinden.
Why?
A little girl in Sweden didn't know what old-fashioned "papiljotter" (hair curlers), were, so she misheard it as the fact that Ada had been sleeping with the only son of Lily and James P.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
Teniente General
32. Entendez-vous dans nos/les campagnes mugir Céféro, ce soldat? (Do you hear in our/the countryside the roar of Céféro, that soldier?)
La Marseillaise, Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes
mugir ces féroces soldats ?
Misheard as:
Entendez-vous dans les campagnes
mugir Céféro, ce soldat ?
Why?
Ever since the national anthem came to be with the first French Revolution, countless children and some adults have believed in the existence of this invading soldier by the strange name of Céféro (the traditional Germanophone enemy of France in his Pickelhaube and Prussian blue Imperial or black Schutzstaffel uniform?), before they read the lyrics or having forgotten them, when it's actually talk about "those fierce soldiers" (obviously, the Austrians and Prussians who declared war on the newborn Republic of France).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
33. Colores intensos que reflejen tu cara de vieja (Intense/bright colours that reflect your old lady face)
Sólo pienso en tí, Miguel Bosé
Colores intensos que reflejen tu rara belleza
Misheard as:
Colores intensos que reflejen tu cara de vieja
Why?
Here's another song I (and my mum, for that matter) misheard back in the 90s, when this song popped up a lot on Spanish TV one summer late in that decade and quickly became "the song of the summer". Now I remember it was when Digimon Adventure premiered in Spain and quickly attracted my interest (the human characters, the Chosen Ones, were and are more aesthetically pleasing and with far more character development than the Pokémon Trainers, so you can guess which series franchise I prefer). That year they did another anime I loved as a child, and it was Pollyanna, the adventures (and mishaps) of a sunny, freckled orphan girl in the antebellum South US. But as vivid as my memories of these two shows are those of the song of that summer... It was 2000 itself, now I remember. The song had a great summery video of a young girl swimming in a vast blue pool under the sun, a video that makes one's mood shoot up to Pollyanna levels. As a child, I did not understand why the lyrics should be "cara de vieja" ("old lady face"), and mum was even more puzzled. And we remained in that state of dark mishearing until a ray of light came when I bought the CD in which the song first appeared a few years ago, as a young adult in my twenties, and we were first introduced to the lyrics. The fact that the lyrics actually said "rara belleza" ("strange/rare beauty") made me have an epiphany, see the light, the fog had lifted. At last the song makes sense to me (and to mum as well).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
Teniente General
34. Un café por hacer (A cup of coffee to make)
Hacer por hacer, Miguel Bosé
Nunca hacer por hacer
Misheard as:
Un café por hacer
Why?
There is another Bosé song that sounds equally erotic, Morena mía, that has the following verses:
Suave bien bien
que nadie como tú me sabe hacer … café
And the start of the line in Hacer por hacer was easy to mishear, linking both lyrics, as "Un café por hacer". As a kid I didn't know Bosé was gay (I knew Zeus and Ganymede, Poseidon and Pelops, Apollo and Hyacinth, Kunzite and Zoisite, Touya and Yukito, Kurogane and Fai were, on the other hand) and thought he was singing about his sexperiences with the same coffee-brewing girl (some barista?).
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
35. Agua de sed (Water of thirst)
Furia caballo del west, Enrique y Ana
Furia, caballo del west
que bebe solo café
y se cepilla los dientes con agua de selz
Misheard as:
Furia, caballo del west
que bebe solo café
y se cepilla los dientes con agua de sed
Why?
Few comments. The causes for this slip are quite obvious, including the childlike youth of the novice listener (a decade ago, in my early teens), the lack of lyrics, and simple associations.
GRADO DE TENIENTAZGO:
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