MISS DERMARK'S LITERARY RAMBLES

viernes, 28 de marzo de 2014

RETURNING TO AN OLD FRIEND

Let's take leave of Westeros and return to the kingdom of the Clever Princess once more!
Here comes the analysis by Roni Natov:

Roni Natov, 2014: Here, the princess "has read all the newspapers in the world and has forgotten what was written in them", suggesting that the world has not yet penetrated, both for good and for bad. She is still somewhat innocent and also somewhat ignorant. Her husband, the prince, came to her a commoner with boots that squeak, but became prince because he was not intimidated by her stature.
This section (the Fourth Story) dramatizes Andersen's attacks on royalty and servitude. Here, among royalty, Gerda (the heroine) learns to differentiate between fantasies and reality. Interestingly, dreams whirl about as strange shadows that "have come to fetch their royal masters".
From royalty and privilege Gerd is thrown into the underworld... Like bait, she is dressed from head to toe in the silk and velvet gifts of the princess and the prince, as she enters the dark forest... Immediately, the coachman, the servants, and the soldiers who had accompanied her from the royal castle are killed by highway robbers.

Another, more thorough analysis:

"a princess of surpassing cleverness and beauty":

The Princess

The princess is a supplementary character who only appears in one of the chapters of the Snow Queen story - but she is nonetheless an admirable and inspirational female character, whose story hints at a much longer and grander untold narrative.

According to the Raven:

"In this kingdom in which we are now sitting, lives a Princess, who is so immoderately clever; but then she has read all the newspapers that are in the world, read and forgotten them again, so clever is she. Lately she was sitting on her throne, when she began to sing, and the theme of her song was "Why should I not marry?" "Well there is something in that, she said, and so she determined to get married; but she must have a husband who knew how to answer when spoken to, not one who could only stand there and look grand, for that is too stupid."

What a fantastic introduction to a character! And what a refreshing change from the fairytale standard of princesses being first and foremost beautiful! The Princess decides on her own that she wants to get married, and she then goes on to specify what kind of a husband she is looking for - one who is intelligent, unabashed by royalty, unafraid of her power and one who "feels at home' with her.

The Raven then goes on to describe the meeting of the princess and her husband-to-be:

"He was gay (merry) and well behaved, but had not come at all to pay court to the Princess, but only to hear how clever she was. He had every reason to be satisfied with her, and she no less so with him."

Again, what a refreshing subversion of the princess trope! The princess' chosen husband is bright-eyed and merry; a poorly dressed "little person" - a wanderer with creaking boots and a knapsack on his back. No dragonslayer he - but one who can match the princess' intellect, rather than impress her with feats of arms.

As well as being clever, the Princess is later shown to be generous and sympathetic, willing to help Gerda into her new golden carriage herself without formality. Though her part is small in the overall story, and she and the Prince go away to "live in foreign places", one feels sure that such a great character must be the heroine of her own legend.

Another analysis:
..."At the court of the newly married prince and princess, she (Gerd) still remains trapped in a nebulous world of make-believe.
Hearing the story of how the prince had gained the hand of his princess because he was the only one who loved her unselfishly, provides Gerd's undertaking with new courage, energy, and direction."

Snippets of translation:
"she's read every newspaper in the world [···] he liked what he heard, and she liked him too"
"she pleased him, and he pleased her".
"Now in this kingdom there lives a princess who is immensely clever; she has read all the newspapers in the world and forgotten what was written in them, and that is the part that proves how intelligent she is. [···] He said that he hadn't come to propose marriage, but only to find out whether she was as clever as everybody said she was. He was satisfied that what he heard was true, and the princess was satisfied with him"
"He had every reason to be satisfied with her, and she no less so with him."
"She has read all the newspapers in the world and forgotten them again: that's how clever she is. [···] He was dashing and handsome, and he was not there to court the princess, but to hear her wisdom. This he liked, and she liked him."

The whole story:

In this kingdom where we are now, there lives a Princess who is very clever. She has read all the newspapers in the world, and forgotten them again, so clever is she. One day she was sitting on her throne, which is not such an amusing thing to do either, they say; and she began humming a tune, which happened to be:

"Why should I not be married, oh why?"

"Why not indeed?" said she. And she made up her mind to marry, if she could find a husband who had an answer ready when a question was put to him. She called all the court ladies together, and when they heard what she wanted they were delighted.

'"I like that now," they said. "I was thinking the same thing myself the other day."

The newspapers all came out immediately with borders of hearts and the Princess's initials. They gave notice that any young man who was handsome enough might go up to the Palace to speak to the Princess. The one who spoke as if he were quite at home, and spoke well, would be chosen by the Princess as her husband. Yes, yes, you may believe me, it's as true as I sit here,' said the crow. 'The people came crowding in; there was such running, and crushing, but no one was fortunate enough to be chosen, either on the first day, or on the second. They could all of them talk well enough in the street, but when they entered the castle gates, and saw the guard in silver uniforms, and when they went up the stairs through rows of lackeys in gold embroidered liveries, their courage forsook them. When they reached the brilliantly lighted reception-rooms, and stood in front of the throne where the Princess was seated, they could think of nothing to say, they only echoed her last words, and of course that was not what she wanted.

'It was just as if they had all taken some kind of sleeping-powder, which made them lethargic; they did not recover themselves until they got out into the street again, and then they had plenty to say. There was quite a long line of them, reaching from the town gates up to the Palace.

It was on the third day that a little personage came marching cheerfully along, without either carriage or horse. His eyes sparkled like yours, and he had beautiful long hair, but his clothes were very shabby.

When he entered the Palace gates, and saw the life-guards in their silver uniforms, and the lackeys on the stairs in their gold-laced liveries, he was not the least bit abashed. He just nodded to them and said, "It must be very tiresome to stand upon the stairs. I am going inside!" The rooms were blazing with lights. Privy councillors and excellencies without number were walking about barefoot carrying golden vessels; it was enough to make you solemn! His boots creaked fearfully too, but he wasn't a bit upset.

But nothing daunted, he went straight up to the Princess, who was sitting on a pearl as big as a spinning-wheel. Poor, simple boy! all the court ladies and their attendants; the courtiers, and their gentlemen, each attended by a page, were standing round. The nearer the door they stood, so much the greater was their haughtiness; till the footman's boy, who always wore slippers and stood in the doorway, was almost too proud even to be looked at.

He was a picture of good looks and gallantry, and then, he had not come with any idea of wooing the Princess, but simply to hear her wisdom. He admired her just as much as she admired him!

Then they went into the garden, into the great avenue where the leaves were dropping, softly one by one; and when the Palace lights went out, something rushed past them, throwing a shadow on the walls; horses with flowing manes and slender legs; huntsmen, ladies and gentlemen on horseback.

'Oh, those are only the dreams! They come to take the thoughts of the noble ladies and gentlemen out hunting. That's a good thing, for you will be able to see them all the better in bed. But don't forget, when you are taken into favour, to show a grateful spirit.'
They came now into the first apartment; it was hung with rose-coloured satin embroidered with flowers. The apartments became one more beautiful than the other; they were enough to bewilder anybody. They now reached the bedroom. The ceiling was like a great palm with crystal leaves, and in the middle of the room two beds, each like a lily hung from a golden stem. One was white, and in it lay the Princess; the other was red, and there lay he, he was young and handsome. The Princess peeped out of her lily-white bed, and asked what was the matter.

Now, they are travelling in foreign countries.

Summary in even fewer words:

Fourth Story: The Prince and the Princess

[···] the boy who had passed the test set by the princess of that land, and so had married her and was now the prince. [···] into the palace and up to the bedroom where the prince and princess slept, [···] But the prince was someone else. However, the prince and princess were sympathetic and sent [···] on [···] way in a golden carriage, with plenty of beautiful warm clothing and dainty provisions.

Fifth Story: The Little Robber Girl

In a dark wood robbers attacked the carriage and killed the postilions, the coachman, and the footmen.

(No reference in the Seventh Story in this version)

Vivian Robinson, 1977: The world of the Fourth Story "represents riches or materialism, power, and artificiality. Here, Gerda (the heroine) sees the effects of court authority, the security of a place within the hierarchy of power."
Wolfgang Lederer, 1986: "A virgin who will not surrender her virginity except to an exceptional man, one who can prove himself a real man by virtue of passing some special, difficult, and usually dangerous test. Over and over again this is the predicament of the virgin who wants to emerge from the flower stage (i.e. childhood) and to become a woman: she needs a man strong enough, courageous enough to overcome her own ferocious resistance and to help her conquer her fear of her own sexuality. In fact the demands of the riddle princess are well justified in both biological and psychological terms: a man fit to become a husband/father should be strong and clever, he should have proven himself (against other men, against nature, against his own fears and terrors) before a maiden may securely entrust herself and her eventual children to him. And if she is to trust him to be strong, he must at least be stronger than she, and must have proven it.[...] Her suitor must merely be able to talk to her without being overawed. She does not kill the man who fails; she merely exposes him to the ridicule of failure - but that alone would be enough to discourage many a man. It does not discourage the young lad in his creaky boots. [...] Both the boy and his shoes are tough and strong and unafraid to creak (to arouse ridicule) [...] She was thus sitting on a priceless jewel [...] We have no difficulty here in interpreting the "pearl" here both in parte and pro toto: it is her own jewel the princess is sitting on, and again: she herself is the jewel, the priceless pearl the young man wishes to win. [...] When they enter the bedroom, the chaste nature of the "arrangement" is confirmed. [...] The separate beds, shaped like lilies, and the fact that the bed of the princess is still white indicate that she is still a virgin. Is she then one of the "virgins" in the old, matriarchal sense - that is, a woman who remains sovereign over all men, who "gives herself" never more than sexually, who never commits herself and never belongs to anyone, and whose husband remains, at best, a consort? Or, more likely, is she herself still virgo intacta and the marriage unconsummated?[...] The riddle princess who yearns for but fears womanhood and who therefore sets impossible tasks and obstacles for the men who woo her. This constitutes a delay and a hesitation; a moratorium in which many a maiden has remained well beyond the fading of her charms, and beyond all hope."
Francesca Matteoni, 2007 : "The Fourth Story displays ideas of knowledge and fulfillment."
Wendy Donawa, 2003: "An opulent and learned court, the princess of which is so accomplished that she has read all newspapers in the world and forgotten them again. The courtiers, although elaborately ritualistic, are kindly too, in their own way[...] But there is something effete and bloodless about this court too, its inhabitants so elaborately learned, but shielded from the untidy vigour of daily life. So impotent are they that at night the sleeping courtiers cannot even dream without assistance from the animal dream world. The court’s refinement is not really Leah’s logopoeia, a dance of the intellect; it doesn’t have the energy and sinew to be a poetics, a making, at all. It is not a house of being; it cannot be provoked. And how might this courtly image speak to our curricular concerns? Any educational movement, to have vigor and longevity, must have intellectual and theoretical underpinnings, but what of ever-more-refined, subtle and self-referring conceptual ramifications that eventually seal themselves off from the active domains in which they should be embedded? “To be heard in the halls of high theory,” says Patti Lather (1996: 526), “one must speak the language of those who live there.” But to work with teachers in the difficult world of practice is to become aware of a current of impatience with academia’s insistence on strong theoretical curricular grounding. Let the wordspinners stay trapped in the palace of discourse with its elaborate protocols of tenure and promotion, say those in the field; let them stay trapped with the princess who has read all the newspapers in the world and forgotten them again. The provisional nature of “civilization” and the insufficiency of pure theory is shown by the next episode in the tale. [...] If the court is an elegant dream, the robbers’ castle is the cannibalistic shadow stuff of nightmare. Against the orderly refinement and decorum of the court, Andersen sets actual, animating sources of power: violence, savagery, appetite and drive unfettered by law or scruple."
Megan Croutch, 2013: "[···] another fascinating female character: a princess who is so clever that “she has read all the newspapers in the whole world, and has forgotten them again.” This princess decides to get married, but explicitly states that her prince will be someone intelligent and articulate, a man “who knew how to give an answer when he was spoken to--not one who looked only as if he were a great personage, for that is so tiresome.” She ends up choosing a suitor who had no intention of marrying her, but merely entered the castle in order to hear the princess’ wisdom. She chooses a husband who admires her brain, someone who, unlike the actual suitors, did not seek to win her but merely to hear her and enjoy her intellect.
The transition from the princess’ castle to the robbers’ woods marks the apparent shift from civilization to barbarism, from Disney-style aspirations to Grimm, violent reality."
Lisa Lieberman, 2008: "The prince and princess who took pity on her were completely out of touch with reality. They thought they were doing Gerda a favor by outfitting her with a golden coach complete with a coachman and footmen and outriders, all wearing golden crowns. The minute she left the palace grounds in this lavish get-up, robbers attacked the entourage, stabbed the servants, and looted the gold."
Unknown Danish essayist, 2005: "(The young man) seems to be more rational than emotional. [...] There is not much real nature at the palace either. The bedchamber is riddled with flowers, but they are all artificial. [...] Like in "The Nightingale", we're speaking of a copy, an imitation, of real nature. Truly in precious metals, but does not even catch up with the original. [...] But the lifestyle lived at the palace is, despite lovely appearances, not suitable for a Romantic like Gerda. [...] (In the end) we are made aware that the royals are "travelling abroad"; they have repressed the natural elements so effectively, that they have either disappeared or are simply no longer needed. [...] Andersen does not support any of the sides (courtiers/highwaypeople). The explanation is that neither the residents of the royal castle nor those of the highwaymen's stronghold have had a spiritual dimension to lean on. The princess and her consort, who worshipped Reason and for whom love was something rather provisional ("She started to chant that old song, which starts: Why shouldn't I wed?") are nearly completely secularized. The closest thing they have to spirituality is that they have a room of pink satin, with artificial flowers decking the walls, and that the golden carriage they offer Gerda shines like the sun. The link to innocent faith, that could have [...] given life at the palace a little meaning, is nowhere to be found."
Anonymous blogger explains that supporting characters use power in different ways: "a clever princess who contrives to marry a man who is her intellectual equal".
Oxford Fairytale Companion: "an assertive princess".
Caitlore, 2013: "[···] a lonely Princess. Men come from all over to win her hearts, but have no such luck. [There was one suitor] who went to the princess not to woo her, but to hear wisdom. The Princess and "Kai" [Actually, NOT Kai] were taken with each other, and so he stayed."
Laura Athena, in January 2013, has consecrated a shrine to the female cast of "The Snow Queen", devoting one of the altars to my favourite supporting character, whom she defines as: "a princess of surpassing cleverness and beauty":

The princess is a supplementary character who only appears in one of the chapters of the Snow Queen story - but she is nonetheless an admirable and inspirational female character, whose story hints at a much longer and grander untold narrative.
"In this kingdom in which we are now sitting, lives a Princess, who is so immoderately clever; but then she has read all the newspapers that are in the world, read and forgotten them again, so clever is she. Lately she was sitting on her throne, when she began to sing, and the theme of her song was "Why should I not marry?" "Well there is something in that, she said, and so she determined to get married; but she must have a husband who knew how to answer when spoken to, not one who could only stand there and look grand, for that is too stupid."

What a fantastic introduction to a character! And what a refreshing change from the fairytale standard of princesses being first and foremost beautiful! The Princess decides on her own that she wants to get married, and she then goes on to specify what kind of a husband she is looking for - one who is intelligent, unabashed by royalty, unafraid of her power and one who "feels at home' with her.
Andersen then goes on to describe the meeting of the princess and her husband-to-be:

"He was merry and well behaved, but had not come at all to pay court to the Princess, but only to hear how clever she was. He had every reason to be satisfied with her, and she no less so with him."

Again, what a refreshing subversion of the princess trope! The princess' chosen husband is bright-eyed and merry; a poorly dressed "little person" - a wanderer with creaking boots and a knapsack on his back. No dragonslayer he - but one who can match the princess' intellect, rather than impress her with feats of arms.

As well as being clever, the Princess is later shown to be generous and sympathetic, willing to help Gerda into her new golden carriage herself without formality.Though her part is small in the overall story, and she and the Prince go away to "live in foreign places", one feels sure that such a great character must be the heroine of her own legend.
Feminist Fangirl, winter 2013: [...] "a helpful princess who heads a side plot in which she will only marry a prince as intelligent as her (!!!)"
Anglophone Wikipedia: "The Princess (Prinsessen), who desires a prince-consort as intelligent as she, and who finds Gerda in her palace. She helps Gerda in her search for Kai by giving her warm, rich clothing, servants, and a golden coach. The Prince (prinsen), formerly a poor young man, who comes to the palace and passes the test set by the princess to become prince."
The Snow Queen, Italian comic book review by Pietro Lombardo: "The two ruling young people personify humility and inner modesty. The two young rulers also symbolize humble and lovely parents, who make, out of their children (Gerda), people with an identity and self-reliance of their own. ".
Elspeth, on the fusion fic with Susan Richards Storm as the Clever Princess and Reed Richards as her consort: "[Thanks! I wish I could say I took Sue's characterization straight from canon in this (because a Sue who could canonically write love letters in Latin would rock), but I actually took most of it from the original fairytale, where the Princess is the smartest person in three kingdoms (so smart that she's "read all the newspapers in the world") and wants a prince who is her equal.But since Sue is married to Reed, she must have married him for his brains rather than, say, charm or tact or looks because Reed's not bad looking, but Sue is definitely out of his league: hence making the Princess her.]"
THE SNOW QUEEN STORY SUMMARY

4. The Prince and Princess

In the kingdom there lived a very clever Princess. The Princess decided she should get married, but she wanted to find someone who wouldn’t just stand around and be boring, or be intimidated by the grand castle. She wanted someone who was clever and cheerful. Many people came for her hand but they all became frightened and tongue-tied when they entered the castle.

Then a young man came with long hair, intelligent eyes and poor clothes. He strode in to the palace and wasn’t at all shy. He was bright and interested in learning the Princess’ wisdom. They liked each other right away and he became the Prince.

...into the palace that night...

Shadows along the wall swished past and it was the dreams of the Prince and Princess. They came to the bedroom and the Prince and Princess were each in a bed that looked like a lily.

...the leaves to peek at the Prince, and seeing his red neck...

...the dreams swept through the room, he woke and turned his head...

The Princess woke and asked what was the matter.

...how kind human beings were! In the morning the Prince and Princess gave lovely clothes to wear and asked to stay with them. They gave a muff and boots and a coach of gold with coachmen and horsemen. Then they waved goodbye...

...asked her about the Prince and Princess. “They’re traveling in foreign lands,” said the robber girl.
Khac Ti Ang Thuyet, June 2014

Thesis on Andersen female characters (Excerpt)

...has supposedly married a clever and beautiful princess...

She (Gerta) is helped by the prince and princess, who give her a carriage and horse and a little pair of boots so that she might drive out again into the wide world...

the princess gives Gerda a pair of boots and a muff, a carriage and a horse, together with a coachman, footman and outrider, facilitating her journey;

...a clever princess who gave her (Gerta) a golden carriage and a horse.

These stories provide

all we need in the way of awesome images of very strong female characters, whether

good or evil: in the Fourth Story, the clever princess. They are very free in their

world. They are determined and strong-willed. They are able to make choices and

decide their own destinies. They can do what they like to make their own dreams

come true.

The princess is a supplementary character who only appears in one chapter of the

Snow Queen story, yet she is an admirable and inspirational female character. She is

clever and intellectual.

In this kingdom where we are now, there lives a Princess who is

very clever. She has read all the newspapers in the world and forgotten them

again, so clever is she. One day she was sitting on her throne, which is not such

an amusing thing to do either, they say. And she began humming a tune, which

happened to be: “Why should I not be married?”[...]. And she made up her mind

to marry, if she could find a husband who had an answer ready when a question

was put to him, not one who could only stand there and look grand, for that is too

stupid.

(Andersen, 1997, 226)

This is a refreshingly different way to introduce a character, and we find nothing so

witty, ironic, sophisticated in Grimms’ fairy tales' (18)

emphasis on a fairy-tale princess’ beauty rather than, as here, her intelligence and wit

– though in fact we do not know what this princess looks like. She decides on her own

that she wants to get married, and she then goes on to consider what kind of husband

she is looking for – one who is intelligent, “unabashed of royalty,” and who “feels at

home with her” (Andersen, 1997, 126). The man actually chosen by the princess is not

a prince but a wanderer, one with creaking boots and a knapsack on his back.

However, he is “a picture of good looks and gallantry, and then he had not come with

any idea of wooing the Princess, but simply to hear her wisdom, he admired her just

as much as she admired him” (Andersen, 1997, 129). He does not slay any dragon, but

he can match the princess’s intellect with his own rather than impressing her with

victories. Just as our looks may fade; our wealth and status might also be diminished:

only our intellect and wisdom can last. The princess is not only clever; she is generous

and sympathetic as well. She is willing to help Gerda with her new golden carriage.

At the end of the tale, the princess and her husband go away “to live in foreign

countries”. They are free, totally not bound by the traditional social roles.

(18) This would be true even if we only heard the author, or the Raven, or the princess speaking there, but in fact we hear all three in this complex passage that combines three narrative-discursive levels.

Just like the princess, the robber girl is a very inspirational and admirable

female character. Her reward is her “complete freedom”.

A laconic commentary on the Fourth Story of "The Snow Queen": This is the Judgement of Paris, Rococo style. With the difference that the right goddess (id est, Athena) is the one who gets the prize.

A little haiku on the same subject:

Beauty, wealth, or wit?
Since I chose the third option,
we have found ourselves.

THE RINGSTETTEN SAGA XXI: THE FATE OF KRISTER

Previously on The Ringstetten Saga:
In late autumn the same year, a detachment shows up near the estate. The rittmeister (captain) who leads the unit is searching for the highwaymen of those woods, a wild ragtag band known as the Värmland Wolves. Surprised by a thunderstorm, the soldiers take refuge at Vänersvik for the night. That evening, the Finnish rittmeister has a conversation with Krister's parents, as our young hero eavesdrops from behind the door. According to the rittmeister, Krister is meant to be a military officer. There is a vacant ensign slot in the garrison of a Karelian fortress, across the country, right at the Swedish-Russian border. The Count and Countess decide to send the other son of theirs to the army, for, according to the rittmeister, "he may become a general if he plays his cards right". And because Kristian is the heir and the other two are spares.
It is thus decided that Krister should be an officer: his dream is finally come true. But insecurity seizes him as well: maybe he will never become a general or a war hero?
So young Krister spends the night awake, much to the surprise of the rittmeister upon finding the boy unconscious in the room he once shared with his twin brother. Our future officer does not even listen to his parents' words of farewell nor feel their kisses, and he falls asleep on horseback, riding behind the rittmeister, as the golden birch leaves fall onto the soldiers' uniforms.
And thus, Krister finally makes it to his first assignment! The military complex surrounded by two concentric star-shaped ramparts with their respective moats (and the many menacing cannons) makes a deep impression in the heart of our young ensign. He asks the guards for the way to the officers' residence, and on the way, he discovers the outpost has got a forge, a bakery, a tavern, and even farm animals like sheep and chickens. All of this business is obviously militarized.
The newcomer is hazed by his fellow officers to take the Commandant's wife by the boobs (the Ramsays, the Commandant's family, living apart from the subaltern officers, are seen as "invisible and powerful gods"). Luckily for Krister, Lady Ramsay's maidservant happens to be taking a stroll in the courtyard and flirting with the officer on duty. Krister rushes forth and grabs the maid. Then, he lies to the other officers about his alleged "success".
A new life begins for Krister von Ringstetten: a life of drilling on the fields and in the woods with his company (training in marksmanship, riding, climbing...). Sometimes, he happens to be on guard duty. But the evenings that he is not on duty, returning thirsty and weary at dusk, he frequents the outpost tavern with his fellow officers. A nice glass of brandy (let it be Cognac) and a deck of cards, and sometimes party until midnight!
It seems that Cupid has either forgotten Krister or realized that the young officer is queer. The Ramsays' twin daughters, Anne-Marie and Marianne, are already betrothed each to an officer of the garrison. And he doesn't take to anyone of them (in spite of their good looks).
Years follow years: the young officer exerts himself by day, and at night he sometimes stands guard in a sentry box (in starry calm, thunderstorm, or snowfall), drinking in the tavern (when he isn't on duty) in the evenings, making good friends in the other subaltern officers. This is routine, though exciting. Such is the life of a military officer in times of peace. The excitement in it all, coupled with his sunny mood, make Krister come of age, though without renouncing to pleasure.
Most of the garrison's officers, including both Colonel Ramsay and our young ensign, support the Hat Party, which defends the need of a Swedish Empire along the Baltic coast (the dream shattered at Poltava), and thus, revenge against Russia for the defeat at the start of the century. The absolutism that follows Gustavus III's velvet revolution, in spite of dissolving the parties, doesn't change the opinion of the local officer class.
The uniform, however, goes through a couple of changes: the tricorn is replaced with a black top hat or "storm hat", and officers have to wear a white kerchief, a sign of loyalty to the new king, tied around the left arm.
Rarely, routine is broken by an unexpected event: a promotion, a demotion, a reassignment that takes a new officer into the outpost or an old friend away, even a rain of frogs takes place in springtime, one day after Krister is made a lieutenant! The most important thing is that peace has lasted for about a decade since young Ringstetten arrived.
One day in early summer 1788, the region is shaken by a rumour that armed Cossacks have crossed the border from Russia into Sweden. Which can only mean W-A-R. The officers that formerly belonged to the Hat Party feel that their prayers for national greatness have been heard.
The leader of the Russian Army is the ruler of the empire herself, a clever Prussian who successfully dethroned her weak-willed consort. Catherine the Great should not be underestimated for being a woman: the Czarina has got decades of experience in statesmanship and warfare. Compared to her, Gustavus III is a newbie (both as a ruler and as a commander).
In such startling circumstances, Lieutenant Krister von Ringstetten is reassigned to another regiment. On the frontline. A dream come true, won't it be?
He is rather impatient upon arriving in camp: meeting the sergeant, a born and raised Karelian, the child musicians, and the colonel's cutesy teenage daughter, a red-haired and freckled perky camp follower... wait a second! Is history repeating itself? And does Charlotte Vandeer actually have a crush on Krister? It seems so. Anyway, he starts viewing the redhead as an annoying stalker... for she follows the young lieutenant like a newly-hatched duckling! She sleeps by his side at the campfire, which gives the colonel an idea: Why can't she marry you? Krister can't say that he's queer, or that she is too young to think of such things (Charlotte is three or four years younger than Liselotte!). He actually loves her... as a friend or a little sister, somewhat to her chagrin.
And he is impatient for his baptism of fire to come, though he finds battle something not that romantic during the first confrontation he takes part in: gunshots echoing across the plains, the scent of blood and gunpowder, glimpses of running, riding, or falling blue and green coats (of friends and enemies, respectively) through the gunsmoke... The Russian ranks cross paths with the Swedes, and the wounded, once hit, scream in agony. The warmth of July days increases, gradually turning into heat. Karelia, a peaceful frontier region, has become Hell on Earth.
During a battle, our young lieutenant falls off his wounded steed. Luckily, he lands on soft ground (on a slain Cossack), but he has no time to react when he feels a glowing object enter his back. He is so startled that he gets instantly dizzy, and then everything turns black before his eyes.
The last he can hear are the survivors of his company, among which the sergeant is not counted:
"Lieutenant! Answer, please!"
"He's still breathing! Come on, let's get him out of here!"
When Krister comes to in a field hospital, his torso wrapped in bandages, he can't comprehend how lucky he has been to have survived. Both the regimental surgeon and Charlotte, who helps the surgeons tend to the wounded, are standing by his sickbed. The lieutenant's mind is initially clouded, but, after some time, he is completely conscious, and he puts two and two together.
The red-haired girl lays something in his hand: a bloodstained chunk of lead, the size of a hazelnut. Krister makes the right guess: it's the bullet that hit him. Somewhat later, while bloodletting, the surgeon explains: "You're ostensibly lucky, Herr Lieutenant! That bullet was a fine one: right on the left shoulder blade! And the marksman was far enough for the bullet not to have plunged deeper! Otherwise, Herr Lieutenant, you wouldn't be here at all!"
These words won't only fill Krister with relief, but also with worry.
At the start of his convalescence, he is impatient to return to the field, but his attitude undergoes a significant change. The lieutenant's wound takes a fortnight to heal, his system being young and resilient. But, while Sweden and Russia fight each other in the outside world, two worldviews dramatically confront each other within him. One of them, from innocent childhood, shows only the bright side of war: the Breitenfelds and Lechs and Lützens of the Memoirs, and those of his many roleplays. The other worldview, more recent, displays an inferno where thousands of young lives are discarded: warfare as a dark board game, meant for important people like kings and czarinas, played with expendable human pieces, and with a prize as absurd as being able to move the line that tells the opponent's lands from one's own.
In the end, the latter view of war is the one to emerge victorious: being a subaltern officer, Krister is, after all, just a piece of middling rank, neither high nor low, in a nonsensical game of war.
Before he can be discharged from the field hospital, yet having fully recovered, he takes his uniform and flees the camp on a short and warm summer night full of stars. Fireflies circle around him, like stars that have flown too close to the Earth. Frogs are heard croaking, and crickets are heard chirping.
At the crack of dawn, he notices an abandoned farm on a hilltop: it will prove a nice resting place on his ramblings. Krister doesn't regret having deserted: rather than that, he's full of confidence.
Inside the farmhouse, he meets dozens of young men dressed like him: in plumed "storm hats" and blue coats with white arm-kerchiefs and epaulets, with short swords and pistols. These Swedish officers, among which Krister recognizes a few comrades from the fortress where he was garrisoned during peacetime, haven't deserted: they're on leave and will soon return to their respective regiments.
All of them share the young lieutenant's view of war as nonsense, and they have written and signed a letter in French, adressed to Her Imperial Majesty Catherine II Sophia Dorothea, Autocrat of All Russias... The message: to reconcile and restore peace to both realms in the name of Gustavus III, King of Sweden. They've even forged the King's handwriting to make it look more convincing!
They couldn't have come up with a better idea!
The farmstead's name is Anjala. The date is the thirteenth of August 1788.
The quill and ink are brought forth one last time, and soon a final signature is written confidently, without the slightest twinge of doubt: Lieutenant Krister von Ringstetten.
Some of the peacemakers leave to give the Czarina the letter, while most of the others return each one to his regiment. Krister, the odd one out, is left alone, to live the errant and wild life of an outcast (he lied to the others, telling them he was still in the ranks, not to be punished).
He lives on berries, mushrooms, and water, sometimes begging before a rectory or a tavern, sleeping in caves and abandoned crofts, sometimes in rectories. Upon seeing Swedish soldiers, he is naturally afraid of being punished for his crimes. Should he encounter the Russian military, he could be taken prisoner or sent to the firing squad, which Krister considers a better fate than being punished by his own.
One stormy autumn evening, he seeks refuge in a village inn, outside which he sees a dazzling baroque carriage fit for an important person, such as a Russian general or the Czarina herself.
The guests are mostly Swedish soldiers, but there is a person who attracts everyone's attention: an outspoken gentleman in his thirties, dressed in a finely powdered wig, a pink brocade overcoat, a cream-coloured waistcoat, bright green breeches, and buckled low shoes. Who's he?
"Not an actor", Krister thinks. "Actors travel in troupes". The landlady gives a clue: she boasts of her good luck to get to serve His Majesty! Thus, the stranger is Gustavus III! What a shocking surprise! Could chance have arranged for the paths of the King and young Ringstetten to cross?
Anyway, Krister asks for a strong drink to warm him from within. The landlady, feeling sorry, offers him a draught of potato brandy. Down the lieutenant's throat it goes, at one fell swoop. Just what he needed after wandering in the cold autumn storm: it feels like swallowing a little flame! And, being generally sober, the effect strikes like lightning: the liquor warms his blood, turning his cheeks rosy and making his eyes glitter. Finally, the effect of brandy even clouds his mind, and he begins to stagger. In such a state, King Gustavus takes the young officer by the hand and leads him upstairs. Both men enter the same bedroom, though one of them is too intoxicated to find out. A valet takes the lieutenant's uniform off, to subsequently undress the ruler. Krister is getting more and more nervous, until he finally tells Gustavus the whole truth under the influence:
"Do as you please with me! Once I was Lieutenant Krister Axel von Ringstetten... Now I am but a miserable sinner! After being wounded, I thought that warfare was nonsensical, and thus, I fled the war front! I have even signed the Anjala officers' letter of peace! Please have me court-martialled, so I may be either banished from this land or imprisoned for a lifetime, if not sentenced to the firing squad! My fate is in your royal hands!"
His Majesty replies with a Cheshire Cat grin, embracing the young officer and taking off the bandages from his torso. The wound on the left side of Krister's back has become a little round scar.
Both men go to sleep together, in the same bed: the officer's head resting on the ruler's chest, so Krister can get to hear Gustavus's frantic heartbeat and his steady breathing. They tickle each other under the cover for a while before falling asleep.
The next morning, Lieutenant von Ringstetten wakes up in a cold sweat, pale as his shirt, with a pulsating pain both in the head and in the rear. During his and his liege lord's levée (courtesy of the same valet who had arranged their evening couchée), he remembers having confessed his crime to the most important person in the Kingdom of Sweden. The officer, filled with guilt and regret, explains this to the ruler. Krister expects, obviously, a court martial and a severe punishment to accept. But, to his surprise, Gustavus III takes him by the hands and replies, with that Cheshire Cat grin-like smile of his:
"Pas de craindre, mon garçon! (Fear not, my lad!) Should I ever dare to punish such a gentleman? You've given me the best soirée in a lifetime, so why should you ever be court-martialled? Thus I pardon you, Lieutenant Krister Axel von Ringstetten! Vous êtes pardonné!"
The young officer didn't see that coming: a royal pardon, instead of a court martial! And besides, His Majesty reunites Krister with his regiment, for the lieutenant to read a few letters from his loved ones. One from a certain estate in Värmland, the other from a bourgeois household on the outskirts of Uppsala.
The latter is, obviously, his ailing brother Kristian's will. He wishes to be buried in the Ringstetten estate garden in Värmland, he has appointed his twin brother Krister (who survived the war, as he has stated in a letter sent to Kristian during his convalescence, before desertion) his heir, consoled his own parents in another previous letter, and there is even an arrangement of a levirate marriage between the widowed Erika and the still unmarried Krister. The young bridegroom is somewhat startled, and he doubts what to do for a while: he's queer, like his liege lord, yet he feels sorry for the plight of Erika and her daughters. And thus, he decides to return to Vänersvik. With Krister comes Charlotte, now a ward of the State and completely orphaned after her father's death on the battlefield. Peace has been signed. And Sweden has proved not to be a fallen empire by winning the war!
The young girl is somewhat jealous of her beloved's betrothed, which may have devastating consequences...
The promise has nevertheless to be fulfilled. A modest gentleman, his daughter, and her twin children soon arrive at Vänersvik, all dressed in black and having travelled in a black-draped carriage with the lifeless form of a young scholar across a cold, snowy landscape. At the funeral, in a French garden covered in a blanket of snow, they encounter a young man with Kristian's exact appearance, dressed in an officer's uniform. The next day, as Karl Johan returns to Uppsala, Erika and the twins stay on the estate and prepare a second wedding while getting to know Krister. He has become a reserved and cold veteran, at first indifferent to Erika yet compelled to marry her, but soon he feels sorry for her and opens up to his new relatives, though he is at first reluctant to make love and produce an heir, as Linnéa and Tradescantia gradually start to accept him. They even get to visit Miss Ulrika on Honeysuckle Farm, where the young girls will go to school together with peasant children, to bring the elite closer to the common people. And so will the expected male heir: Krister has finally yielded to his duty, and Erika has a bun in the oven!
As for Charlotte, she reacts coolly to the appearance of a young wife for her Krister and two foster sisters for herself. The redhead is five or six years older than Erika's daughters... and there will be a fourth child in November: a little Gustav or Sophia (the Ringstettens' hopes of a male heir are high once more!). But is her coolness for real?

MORE GoT FUN: DRAGONSTONE SCHEDULE

How does Stannis Baratheon spend an ordinary day at Dragonstone?

Some fans rooting for the Lobster King (OK, he's got supporters in the real world! have maybe found the answer):

4:30 Wake-up, calisthenics, bathe
5:30 Light breakfast
5:45 Update from Davos about latest events
6:00 Plan tonight's Lord of Light event
7:00 Crush next pretender to the throne
9:00 Update on roof repair

10:00 Whine about how Renly got Storm's End instead of me
11:00 Complain about how Robert made Eddard Stark Hand instead of me (or perhaps complain about how he loved Ned better than me?)
12:00 Lunch
13:00 Grumble about Robert disrespecting my marriage and my marriage bed by fathering Edric Storm

14:00 Pick up Selyse's (the wife's) sept-burning dress from the dry cleaners.
14:15 Tell the Dragonstone dry cleaner that he missed a spot and refuse to pay until he finishes the job.
15:00 Practice flaming sword handling.
16:00 Instruct Selyse again that no, I am not celebrating Renly's nuptials so I'm not going to entertain the empty courtesy of a wedding present. Instruct florist about the same re: flowers for Robert's tomb.
16:30 Daily affirmation of messiah-hood with Melisandre.
17:00 A light dinner, with grilled fish and plenty of green vegetables. No dessert.

18:00 Plot campaigns with model soldiers on the Painted Table.

19:00 Change working title of book from "His Lordship of Dragonstone, Stannis Baratheon's Forms of Address" to "His Grace the King, Stannis Baratheon's Forms of Address".
19:05 Work on draft of first chapter.
19:45 Send raven to publisher to extend deadline due to impending civil war.
20:00 Lord of Light ceremony on the beach.
20:10 Punish retainer. A marshmallow is not the night's terror to be burned away by fire.

21:00 Walk the dog? No. Dragonstone has too little free space. Rather polish that first chapter.

(My own personal additions, not schedule made by other fans, from here on):

21:30 Target practice with daggers and picture of Renly.

22:30 Quality time with Shireen (daughter): Propagandistic storytelling, no games.

22:45 Kiss Shireen goodnight, then war council with closest officers.

23:30 War council goes on

0:00 Review of the garrison, then going to bed with Selyse while rallying at Robert, Renly, and all the world.

0:35 Sneak out into the war room, then spend the night there with Mel, making love on the Painted Table.

MORE GoT FUN: RULE 63

Some Rule 63 (gender-flip) fanart I made using Paint.

The title is a pun...

Rather well characterized, aren't they?

"Ennis" and "Renée", "Laura" and "Brian" were already on my mind for this.

Male!Cersei is called "Jason" since Circe was a femme fatale in classical myth and the closest male character I could think of was the leader of the Argonauts, who left his magical girlfriend Medea to marry one Glauca (fittingly enough!).

Female!Jaime is called "Raquel" because "Jaime" is a form of "James/Jacob", whose favourite wife and soulmate in Genesis was "Rachel", "Raquel" in Spanish.

I made Lisander (male!Mel) a cardinal because this is supposed to be a priest in red. Plus, I wanted him to be Ennis's more than confessor (she is a Catholic as stand-in for Red Faith, Protestantism/freethought standing in for the Faith of the Seven). Plus, cardinals have the right to hear the confessions of any Catholic on earth... (recalling Richelieu, this isn't coincidental either).
If you look, Brian has RENÉE written on his rainbow shirt. He's like a guy-dyke or male fujoshi (yaoi fan).

Perchance I will post more genderbent GoT characters some other day... The Starks, and the Lannister children, perchance someone else...

jueves, 27 de marzo de 2014

THE ARRIVAL OF SPRINGTIME

THE ARRIVAL OF SPRINGTIME
A Game of Thrones fic by Sandra Dermark (main ideas)

Yara Greyjoy marries Loras Tyrell of convenience, as agreed by Loras's older brother Willas, killed in action against Stannis Baratheon. Yara feels like a stranger in the Reach, wonders at everything... They can't have any children (she's too cold and he's queer). Suggestions to adopt children. A young orphan Robin Arryn (last living Arryn) is found and adopted.
They understand the meaning of their engagement. Ironborn navigation + Reach power on land = great alliance. Both decide to take part in the war. Truce breaks. Loras as "Renly" stabs Stannis in right side during battle for Storm's End, won by the Tyrell-Greyjoy alliance. Wounded Stannis and few survivors, Meli included, flee to Dragonstone.
War council amidst the heroes. Loras stays at Storm's End while Yara aims for Dragonstone, where the last stand is going to take place.
At Dragonstone, the Fury has landed already. Stannis dying (pneumothorax, described in detail, he's also weakened by enchantments Mel has cast) on Painted Table. Mel can heal his wounds... with blood from Shireen. Relevant dilemma: his daughter's life or his own?
Storm's End: Loras thinking of Renly and of what to do after the war.
Dragonstone: Stannis still dying, confronted by deaths of Renly and countless "heretics", faith crisis. No longer the promised saviour. Selyse left him (for parts unknown) due to his relationship with Mel. Shireen has not received any love or care. Arrival of a military surgeon, with distilled liquor. Fighting with Mel, the flagon falls: part of the liquor falls through Stannis's lips, part on Mel's skirt, the flagon shatters and shards hit both of them. For the first time in his life, he is intoxicated, and he smiles. Incensed, he demands that Shireen be spared. Throws candlestick at Mel: skirt catches fire, whole priestess catches fire, Stannis takes her for Shireen and dies suffocated before charred Mel.
Shireen in bedroom listens: "Should we warn the child?" "We have no time to drape the halls in black. The foes are coming".
Ironborn land, garrison surrenders, return to birthplaces (Essos, Stormlands, Reach). Prisoners in dungeons (Stormlanders and people of the Reach) freed. Ironborn warrior discovers Shireen "maybe the daughter of some officer". Pictures drawn by child confirm she's Stannis's daughter. Uprising: prisoners want to kill Shireen, prevented by Yara ("what would Loras do?"). Shireen arrives at Storm's End on the Fury, now captained by Yara. Encounter with Loras, who recognizes her Baratheon features. Shireen adopted and betrothed to Robin, both enjoy a happy childhood at last. Springtime has finally arrived in Westeros!

THE RINGSTETTEN SAGA XX: THE FATE OF ULRIKA

Previously on The Ringstetten Saga:
A cadet offshoot of the Ringstetten dynasty is returning home to court (being one of the Queen's ladies) in an elegant baroque carriage, after visiting the Governor of Värmland and taking part in the revels of the Midsummer Green. And Caroline's stay at Vänersvik and her impression of Ulrika (not noticing that the girl's perfect French is spoken with a Wallonian accent) convince her to adopt the young blonde. At first, her parents are reluctant for Ulrika to start a new life at Drottningholm, the Swedish royal court, but they finally yield to Caroline's idea of introducing such a belle in society.
Ulrike is surprised by the plan. The farewell knows no equal. Cue Gustav Adolf and Katarina worrying about their daughter in all that elegance, among all those self-centered strangers!
Life ain't easy for an upstart at court. Just ask Sansa Stark. Or Ulrika von Ringstetten, who has finally succeeded to fit in at Drottningholm. Imagine that! For instance, she needs to change her accent, because she speaks Wallonian French! It seems that her fairytale dream has come true, but it will prove no bed of roses...
So many halls and mirrors, so many ladies in petticoats chattering in French, and a hedge maze in the vast royal gardens... and the "Cap and Hat" issue.
She is asked by the Queen's other ladies whether she is a Cap or a Hat, and she doesn't get what the question is, answering: "Well... guess I'm a Ribbon" for the bow in her hair. She decides to remain neutral after discovering that the Cap and Hat parties are two opposite factions, that even tear her foster parents, and even the royals themselves, apart. Queen Louisa (the de facto ruler of the land, in spite of loving books and fairies) and Madame Caroline are jingoistic Hats, bent on declaring another war on Russia for revenge after the Poltava debacle (and to expand the fallen Swedish Empire), while King Adolphus (weak-willed, fond of sweets and amateur woodcarver) and Monsieur Gabriel are Enlightened Caps bent on securing peace, supporting culture and education. Ulrika is neutral, a "Ribbon", and she soon meets her match in a Prussian dignitary's eldest son Fritz, nicknamed "Frédéric le Beau", neutral being a foreigner. Pretty soon, as the dashing Fritz finds a niche at court, Ulrika becomes his bride and, later on, his spouse.
As their marriage takes place, the Swedish government undergoes a turning point: when King Adolphus unexpectedly dies of a heart attack and his dashing son Gustavus returns from France to inherit the crown, the new ruler's supporters take Parliament by storm and dissolve it. After the successful velvet revolution (force was used, but there was no bloodshed or any casualties), Sweden has no longer Hats or Caps, just courtiers, gentry, and common people, subjects of an Enlightened despot.
Ulrika spends her life in a dream, attending fêtes and balls, playing soubrettes (clever maidservants) on stage, dancing the minuet and the gavotte with young officers of the Royal Guard, playing croquet with her fellow courtiers, stuffing herself with candied chestnuts, macarons, peaches and cream, ice cream... and getting dead drunk on eau-de-vie (fruit liquor), champagne, or Cognac behind Fritz's back. For le Beau has shown his true colours: a vain, self-centered, narcissistic fop who married Ulrika to get part of the Ringstettens' fortune. She is his trophy wife: his precious and lilywhite porcelain doll. And an unhappily married court lady can only escape her scenario in two possible ways: living up to her dreams and being unfaithful. She's doing both. And the naive ingénue has finally become a social butterfly with the reputation of an epicurean.
Queen Sophia, Gustavus III's spouse, to whose entourage Ulrika belongs, is unhappily married as well. She came over from Denmark as a child to marry a boy three years her senior, as a symbolic wedding to turn the traditional hostilities between Sweden and Denmark into an alliance. Decades have passed since that day, and Gustavus still prefers the company of young men (and the spotlight, being quite the outspoken attention seeker! He loves acting on stage, playing the lead role, especially as Apollo, with whom he identifies himself). Thus, there are rumors at Drottningholm that the young royals will soon die childless. The Queen herself has told Ulrika her plight, and vice versa.
One summer evening, while King Gustavus is doing reforms in the provinces (which considerably lowers the mood at court), the Queen leaves the ballroom and sneaks into bed with Head Stablehand Munck. They don't notice they are being watched by one of the ladies, dressed in a blood red brocade skirt and wearing a ruby heart parure. Guess who? (Ulrika von Ringstetten!)
A fortnight after His Majesty's return, Sophia starts to put on weight and wear larger petticoats to conceal her secret, not without arising suspicions. Gustavus III accepts the unborn child as his own, in spite of the courtiers' whispers about lovers and affairs, led by Queen Mother Louisa and her favourite child: Gustavus III's dashing, vain, epicurean and weak-willed youngest brother Frederick (There is a middle brother, reserved and stern Charles, in charge of the fleet and thus rarely seen). The newborn? It's a boy, named after his royal father. The heir to the Swedish throne, despite being an actual bastard.
Ulrika is soon inspired by the Queen's adultery to carry her foul play even further, into her bedchamber. At the ballroom, she gets completely wasted and confesses to a young Finnish ensign of the Royal Guard. For the occasion, our court lady is wearing a blue satin skirt and a parure of forget-me-nots tied with a blue satin ribbon in her hair, to fit the colour of her eyes and the uniform of her beloved.
However, her Prussian husband is half drunk, incensed by the effect of liquor and that of his spouse skipping through the maze with the young officer. In a fit of rage, without doubting, he throws his right glove at the ensign while calling him out: "Tomorrow at dusk, in the English Garden! (English Garden of Drottningholm: the woods beyond the hedge maze) Let me see how great a marksman you are!"
The officer picks up the glove, and a startled Ulrika starts coming to, weary and dizzy. The challenge has the effect of a cold water shower upon her.
The next day, she doesn't witness the duel, since Fritz has coldly explained: "It's an issue for gentlemen", the last time they will ever see each other. The next day, the confrontation is the talk of the palace. Both contenders have fallen: the young Finnish ensign, shot in the right side, and the older Prussian, with a bullet right through the heart.
A war on Russia, that has just broken out, is the second most important topic of conversation.
A widowed Ulrika takes leave of the royals and leaves the royal court for her hinterland birthplace, in a baroque carriage draped in black like her crepe dress and veil. Upon reaching the estate, she is welcomed by her old parents, who help her unpack her trousseau.
At first, Ulrika is desperate, having lost her husband and her place at court, and now bereft of the exciting social life she has led. For three days, she keeps on drinking brandy and weeping endlessly on her black handkerchief.
She has to sleep in the bedroom that was hers as a little girl. And soon, on the fourth day, the young dowager remembers her childhood and its more innocent pleasures, accepting her return to provincial life.
The Count and Countess of Ringstetten inform their daughter of everything that has happened at Vänersvik in her absence: it has been raining frogs one summer, good old Etienne is deceased (which causes Ulrika to feel guilty and regret her departure), and the Crown has opened a new orphanage, that also serves as public school, on Midsummer Green, with the Ringstettens' support and consent (Gustavus III himself opened it, while his Queen was having her affair). "It's that white schoolhouse on the Green, beside the church. You see the walls all covered with honeysuckle, like a bower?" Ulrika has finally awakened from her dream, and she turns over a new leaf as a teacher for unwanted and orphaned children with flaxen hair and sky-blue eyes. Her own childlessness and need of support are soon compensated by the love and enthusiasm she brings to the young wards of the State: they gather around her black skirt to listen to fairy tales, and she lovingly kisses them every night at bedtime, before going to bed herself, sober, secure, and innocent. Every now and then, upon returning to Vänersvik from the Honeysuckle Farm Children's Home and Public School, she passes by the churchyard and leaves some flowers on Etienne's grave, stopping for a while before resuming her walk.
This becomes her new life, to a ripe old age, until she falls asleep forever.