a few personal questions about miss dermark on her birthday

Of course I am being HONEST about all these questions -- Sandra Dermark for beginners, you may say, right?

• Sweets or savouries? - sweets, definitely
• Straight, queer, ace...? - ace, definitely
• Early bird or night owl? - definitely the latter. Some holidays I wake up at one pm! I have delayed sleep phase disorder. Some days I wish I were more of a morning person...
• Hogwarts house? - Ravenclaw, and fiercely proud of it!
• Faction? - Amity, that's how it is -but I have never been into Divergent outside Amity, to be honest
• Enneatype? Seven, most surely Sexual Seven with both wings
• Favourite singer's voice? - Freddie Mercury (male) and Ana Torroja (female)
• Favourite fairytale characters? - the prince and the princess in the Fourth Story of The Snow Queen
• Favourite Shakespearean characters? - Cassio from Othello and Portia from The MoV
• Favourite deities of any mythos? Loki and Uzume (I assume the latter is far less known than all the other characters I have mentioned before, so I'll give you readers the buzz: meet a Japanese lesser goddess who stars in only one myth, the one in which she frees the Sun, but her MO is equal to anything outrageous Loki has ever done -- basically, the Sun personified has had a bad day full of sibling squabbles and sulks in her locked room, eclipsing herself. After a long period of endless dark gloomy winter, the intelligent and adorable and besides plucky perky Uzume, who had been sipping her sake all along, sets her cup aside and has the bright idea of putting a large mirror and a bathtub at the entrance of Miss Sun's locked door, dressing in the scantiest kimono she has -think of those translucent Dornish silks!-, gathering an audience 800 strong out of all the protesters -gods, catfolk, merfolk, snow queens, ogres, you name it- who are gnashing their teeth and/or ranting in front of the Sun's locked room, splashing bath-water on her own dress till it's drenched to make the silk stick to her skin, and performing for this audience risqué songs to a provocative dance that involves striking lots of risqué poses as well as boob jiggle and hip waggle and flirtation with the audience of all species and both genders... all the while taunting the Sun that outside there's a goddess who is garnering lots more of attention -ie Uzume herself-! And the audience echoing her approval and proving that so it is... So: at the crowning point of the performance, the Sun huffs out in a rage (feeling that they have replaced her with someone else), is dazzled on the threshold by her own radiant reflection in the mirror, and they lock the door to the empty room behind her. As the Sun joins in the celebration (I picture her flirting with Uzume, who is still the star du jour), sunlight comes back to the Earth, springtime will soon return and there is much rejoicing. Then Uzume, who rules over sunrises and revelry and entertainment as a reward for her achievements, fades back into the background - but her story, basically a gender-flipped cosmic-horror version of Achilles and Patroclus without the war, has inspired countless episode of anime series! Including one where Uzume is a ferret...).
• Fetishes? - brightly-coloured period military uniforms, prep school-boarding school uniforms, Victorian porcelain dolls (both girl and boy dolls), the art nouveau aesthetic, males with queues (low ponytails), bifauxnen/otokoyaku/reverse trap anime characters, brightly-coloured frogs (poisonous or not), Scandinavian counterpart cultures...
• Favourite musicals? - Les Misérables, Beauty & the Beast, Great Comet (and, if operas count, Verdi's Otello and Un Ballo in Maschera)
• Favourite comedy? Classic British comedy: Monty Python, Black Adder, 'Allo Allo, Eddie Izzard, Fools and Horses, Carry On Up the Khyber, Carry On Jack, Carry On and Don't Lose your Head...
• A question they have asked you so often that it wearies you? How many languages do you speak?
• Any flaws you ashame yourself over? Well, being a LOUD TALKER!!! And an attention whore who wants to feel that all eyes are upon her. And unable to wait without distractions, and prone to look before I leap, right? There's also my tendency to drown my sorrows in liquor or in ice cream when I'm feeling down...
• A guilty pleasure? White chocolate with berries, absinthe, and watching animesque cute-and-psycho perky female minions (most lately, Ty Lee, Entrapta, and Paper Star on Netflix on my laptop). Not necessarily all three (ie white chocolate and berries+absinthe+animesque cute and psycho PFMs) at the same time.
• If you had any supernatural power, what would you pick? Optimism inducement. Sometimes people are too stubborn and/or too stuck in their negative emotions for your own natural merry mood to spread to them - plus, it might not seem like it, but optimism inducement also has its perversion potential... hehe... 
• Any underlying themes in your fiction? - Relationships, youth, fulfillment, human weakness, altered states... 

 PS. An omedetou to fellow kindred spirits and eccentric Cupbearers in fiction ;)

 Entrapta

 Lloyd Asplund

 And of course Luna Lovegood!

And the Cute and Psycho Rhiannon (and her more responsible minder-twin Tristan)!

And this little essay from a zodiac book that pretty much nails my personality:

31st of January 

- the birthday of the bright spirit

People born on this date have an overwhelming need to be noticed, heard, and taken seriously. And because more often than not these bright, appealing people achieve this goal with ease, they are admired by others for their creativity, vision, and originality. 

Strong willpower, steadfastness, and an emphasis on self-expression define people who are born on this day. They can also be quite progressive, with a touch of genius about them. Although they can appear absent-minded and chaotic at times, this is only because their thoughts are always on fast-forward, their minds filled with original and ingenious ideas and concepts.

When they feel they have made some kind of breakthrough they run the risk of getting overexcited, but others tend to find this endearing rather than annoying. In fact people born on this day are generally well liked for being so inventive and entertaining in their never-ending quest for knowledge. They are magnetic personalities but harbour a tendency to be occasionally oversensitive, reading hidden meanings into the deeds and words of others. When they feel upstaged, put upon, or let down they may overreact and either withdraw completely and become depressed, or startle others with their sharp tongue. They need to learn to be a little less intense in their relationships and to accept that sometimes other people want to share the limelight.

Occasionally people born on this day may feel pressured to conform to others' expectations of them in order to be liked; by so doing they run the risk of losing their unique charm. Fortunately, around the age of twenty there is a turning point which suggests they are able to develop greater self-reliance; at the age of fifty there is another turning point which highlights their fighting spirit and emotional resilience.

Above all, people born on the 31st of January are bright spirits who have the ability to light up the world with their bubbly personalities and brilliance. Once they learn to truly value themselves they have the potential not only to bring great happiness to the world but also to influence and inspire.

Your greatest challenge is to stop losing interest quickly if others don't give you their heartfelt support.

The way forward is... not to try something else but to trust your instincts and make your own decisions about what is or is not right for you.

On the dark side

Uncertain, suspicious, grovelling

At your best

Appealing, original, strong

I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO LAY AN EGG

Hens always get at least a little bit stressed when their inner clock signals it's time to lay an egg.
This happens to us human females as well, twelve times each year.
Today I've felt all weary for no good reason. Not merely lonely, not merely bored, not merely "since I can't get out of this place without leaving alone, better off to stay at home, but I don't feel like gaming or reading or listening..." WEARY. So weary. Like Hamlet at the start of the play. With the feeling of a lump or a frog in my throat, or rather a garrote wire. Like Joffrey after that last drink at his wedding feast.
Weary and powerless, or rather full of power but also of restraints for using it. I feel like getting drunk, dead drunk, but there's no liquor around I can drown my sorrows in.
And thus, I'm crying. I'm typing because I cannot speak a single word in this predicament I live in. Typing and shedding tears. Typing and shedding tears and feeling empty and weary.
Maybe it's because I just bled early this morning.
Or is there something more?
I wish the weekend were come to an end and I could get to the tennis court at university, to find a partner --on Friday I had none, resigning myself to running and serving and running and serving.
I wish to get word from Ser Uttam, whether in Kutztown or wherever he might be.
I wish my mum would get healed of her depression, or fourth stage of grief, or PTSD, or combination of all three above.
I wish for a lot of things.
And that's because they're out of my reach.
Which makes me feel powerless.
Which makes me feel weary.
Ich habe keine Lust...

But you can't make Hamlet without breaking a few egg-sistential certainties.
I have already talked about this topic regarding Ralf Hart and Zangra, but, given the biological underpinnings of this bout of weariness, I will offer a female example of such a crisis. From a Takarazuka-inspired anime, no less:

NANAMI NO TAMAGO (七実の卵)

There's this Utena episode where Nanami, the class queen bee, lays an egg.

It's largely a fascinating, surrealistic perspective on the subject of the female curse;

one that sounds like Hamlet crossed over with both Salvador Dalí and Takarazuka.

Nanami Kiryú is Hamlet(te). Try to figure out whom each and every character in her class equals their respective Elsinore counterpart...