domingo, 1 de abril de 2018

STUFFED GATOR MAY HOUSE BORGIA SECRET

Valencia, not far from the Cathedral. Everyone knows Roderigo Borgia, the corrupt Renaissance Pope. But few non-Valencians know Lepanto, the stuffed alligator that, as an alleged dragon (actually, a feral pet of the ancien régime), haunted the local marshes and Turia riverbed during the reign of Philip II; and even fewer have seen Lepanto, only knowing that the gator hangs, like the one at the pharmacy where Romeo Montague purchased his poison, from the rafters in a certain downtown church, which can only be visited at certain hours, in order to preserve the sacred art within.
Rumours going around the University of Valencia may have established a strange connection between the alligator and the Borgia Pope. According to Frédéric Premier-Avril of the Fund for Inquiry into Conspiracies, Lepanto's straw-filled inside may hold a code related in some way or another to the rise and/or downfall of the Pope one century before his capture.
"The Church, of course, owns the 'dragon' and forbids us to conduct the dissection or any other testing on its historical property," says M. Premier-Avril. "But of course I was fascinated when I realised there was 'an alligator stuffed', like the one at the pharmacy where Romeo Montague purchased his poison, hanging from the rafters in the Església del Patriarca. And, after getting the chance to see Lepanto, I began to wonder if the Bard had ever visited Valencia during his lost years," he continues, recalling his youth and awe at that first encounter.
Then, last year, M. Premier-Avril made a breakthrough. "I was listening to this episode of Madeline 2000 and something plinged in my mind at the lyrics: 'From the stage at Carnegie,' when this opera singer appears on screen. Rearranging the letters of FROM THE STAGE AT CARNEGIE has given us GATOR as well as R'DERIG'. The subliminal message, even without any Os in the second word, is crystal clear. The O is the open mouth of the red-headed primadonna upon the stage." Furthermore, a cross-examination of Roderigo's lines in Othello, substituting "Venice" for "Valencia", may hint at an adventure which the young future Pope and Archbishop had during his twenties. Which is certainly proof that the Bard knew of the confidential decision to use an alligator stuffed, an alleged dragon, as the perfect place to store the secrets of a decadent dynasty.
"The Church, of course, owns the 'dragon' and forbids us to conduct the dissection or any other testing on its historical property," reiterates M. Premier-Avril. "Leaving us to rely on coded messages within lyrics and Shakespearean tragedy, in the hope that we shall make our next breakthrough before 2020."



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