PINOCCHIO: EAT CACA, IL DUCE

 Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio is an animated musical. When the irreverent wooden boy, now part of the circus of Count Volpe (The Fox, who is human in this universe) performs for Mussolini himself, he sings a satirical/scatological song and makes a performance full of toilet humour; Il Duce is not amused.

 

I fight for the land
I fight oversea
For baby-poops-his-pants
Right there in front of me

The poop in hand 

for fatherland
Il Duce, Il Duce
Go smell your farts and pray
Eat your boogers, your slime!
You can also get mine!

Like a bag of poop, 

magnificent and free
You are farting, farting 

in the men's lavatory!
You're a poop, we are young
Eat caca, big baby, 

eat caca, we are strong!

He poops on the land
He poops oversea
Big-baby-poops-his-pants
He's just doo-doo to me
Farewell, Mussolini!
Ciao, Il Duce!

Using his military helmet as a chamber pot

A caca puppet joins Pinocchio on stage

When he is supposed to go to war, he runs away to join a singing group, and when he is supposed to sing a beautiful song in front of Mussolini, he makes Mussolini furious with vulgar parodies of patriotic songs.

[LIGHTS! MUSIC! CURTAIN OPENS.

Once again Pinocchio rolls out on stage in a tank. He leaps out, dressed as a soldier!!

PINOCCHIO:

I fight for the land!

I fight oversea!

For baby-poops-his-pants

Right there in front of me!

Around Pinocchio marching marionettes appear; it’s a farting chorus line! Spazz puppeteers with delight!!!

MUSSOLINI: Poop?

The Right Hand Man shrugs.

RIGHT HAND MAN: Yes, poop Your Excellency.

PINOCCHIO (O.S.):

The poop in hand,

For Fatherland,

Il Duce, Il Duce

Go smell your farts and pray,

Eat your boogers, your slime

You can also get mine.

Volpe stands on the side of the stage clutching the script. Baffled. He is so nervous he takes a bite out of it.

A giant POOP MARIONETTE drops down from the catwalk and begins dancing alongside Pinocchio.

Mussolini is not happy. Candlewick laughs uproariously. But his smiles fades under the gaze of the Podestà.

PINOCCHIO:

Like a bag of poop, magnificent and free —

You are farting, farting in the men’s lavatory.

You’re a poop! We are young!

Eat caca! Big baby!

Eat caca! We are strong.

SPAZZATURA (MONKEY): (echoing) Caca!

A giant Mussolini backdrop flies in. But this time it is vandalized and insulting. It says "Sua Escremenza," His Excremency

Pinocchio flushes himself, twirling down an oversized toilet.

Song ends. The kids go wild. Count Volpe is so nervous he takes a bite out of the script. Everyone waits to see Mussolini’s reaction.

Mussolini quietly turns to his Right Hand Man.

MUSSOLINI: These a’ puppets I do not like. Shoot him. And burn it all down.

The Right Hand Man pulls out a pistol, cocks it, and fires at Pinocchio.]

*************************

This musical number reminded me of the parodies of Christmas carols found in The Simpsons:

Joy to the world,

the teacher's dead...

We barbecued her head!

What happened to her body?

We flushed it down the potty,

and round and round it goes,

and round and round it goes...

NELSON MUNTZ

Jingle bells,

Batman smells,

Robin laid an egg,

the Batmobile lost one wheel

and the Joker did ballet,

Hey!

BART SIMPSON

Another version, sung in playgrounds across the Commonwealth

Jingle bells,

Batman smells,

Robin laid an egg,

Wonder Woman lost her bosom

on the motorway,

Hey!

,...........

Then there is this parody of the Barney theme (Barney the Purple Dinosaur was so hated by 90s schoolkids...)

Barney is a dinosaur 

with no imagination

Big and fat and full of crap

He died from constipation! 

EVEN MORE MISHEARD LYRICS (and POOP)!

 When was the last time I posted some misheard lyrics from my childhood? 

These ones in particular are from the Mecano song Cruz de navajas, about a tragedy starring a young married couple, Mario and María, and also infidelity and drugs. In particular, I heard the word "caca" (poop) twice where it wasn't.

1. Y si encima le toca hacer caca (And, if, on top of it, she has to poop)

Y si encima le toca hacer caja, despídete

Misheard as:

Y si encima le toca hacer caca, despídete

Explanation: María works at a department store (think El Corte Inglés). As a child I didn't know "hacer caja" (to balance the register), so I heard "hacer caca" until I found out the real lyrics. Moreover, this is not the only time María poops in my misheard lyrics. Later on, she makes poop around breakfast... except that she doesn't.

2. Ha hecho la caca / ha hecho hasta café (She has made poop / she has even made coffee)

Ha hecho la casa, ha hecho hasta café

Misheard as:

Ha hecho la caca, ha hecho hasta café

I didn't know "hacer la casa" (to make the home) as an expression meaning "to clean the entire home" either as a child. And, moreover, I had already misheard "le toca hacer caca" of María.

Thinking back of these misheard lyrics, they sound childish and immature for the song, which is basically a tragedy...