LENNART HELLSINGS SJÖRÖVARBOK

För några år sedan, under eller innan pandemin, lyssnade jag på ett avsnitt av podden Snedtänkt som handlade om censur i svensk barnlitteratur och om vissa barnböcker som antingen förändrades på vissa känsliga ställen - eller rycktes bort helt och hållet från skol- och folkbiblioteken över hela Sverige, ifall det känsliga innehållet inte kunde förändras:

• Hattstugan - såväl eldsvåda som barnaga förekommer i denna Elsa Beskow-klassiker - rycktes bort
• Tintin i Kongo (och andra Tintin-serier där han besöker exotiska platser) p g a nidbilder av mörkhyade, asiater, judar, m fl - rycktes bort
• Gammaldags julböcker där Tomten röker pipa - antingen pipan suddades bort eller böckerna rycktes bort. I de flesta fallen suddades bort både pipan och dessa verser: the stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
  and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
• Kapten Efraim Långstrump (Pippis pappa) - kunde inte ryckas bort, eftersom Astrid och Pippi är Nationella Skatter och dyker t o m upp på tjugolappen - men det blev en hel del förändringar:

1. Kapten Långstrumps pipa suddades bort, precis som jultomtens
2. Kapten Långstrump kallas nu för "söderhavskung" eller helt enkelt bara "kung"
3. Hans undersåtar, kurrekurreduttarna, kallas nu för "infödingar" och har suddats bort, eftersom illustrationerna föreställde nidbilder 

Men -

Det finns en barnbok av Lennart Hellsing (en annan Nationell Skatt, dock inte till samma grad som Astrid Lindgren), som verkar vara självaste NECRONOMICON i jämförelse med allt det här, och som har tagits bort från alla bibliotek i Sverige, fastän den handlar om ett så oskyldigt och spännande ämne som pirater.

Om du har tur kanske du kan hitta den på second hand.

Mina herrar och damer och icke-binära, jag hälsar eder välkomna till Sjörövarbok.

Här är omslaget:

Oskyldigt, eller hur? Ett piratskepp till havs med Jolly Roger i topp? Alla barn på jorden tycker att pirater är spännande.

Men skenet bedrar i det här fallet...

Lollipop, lollipop
Jolly Roger i topp!
Hur det slår! Hur det går!
Hela världen är vår!

Som ni ser är boken på vers, allting rimmar (som i flera aldra barnböcker, t ex Hattstugan och de flesta av Dr Seuss, samt de flesta av Lennart Hellsing, författaren till Sjörövarbok!). Här, som i de flesta av hans verk, har Hellsing utnyttjat versen för att få fram väldigt kreativa rim, med alla kaptenernas efternamn (och alla piraterna här är kaptener!) - fast just här är rimmen om teman som anses inte vara PK alls för nutida barn.

Om det nu är så (och det är det) att förläggare och föräldrar får dåndimpen av otäckheter som alkohol, tobak, naket och okristligt språk i våra ungas kultur så är det inte konstigt att "Sjörövarbok" i omgångar varit flitigt debatterad. Piraterna lever onekligen ett sabla liv. Under det stora sjöslaget i början på boken stupar flera kaptener (och alla pirater i den här boken är kaptener!):

"Kapten Smolk drog sin dolk 

och tog livet av folk.

Kapten Spritar gick i bitar

Kapten Klas han gick i kras

Kapten Trogen gick åt skogen

Kapten Höök gick upp i rök"

Detta illustreras med en väldig explosion där skeppet går i tusen bitar och flera tusen pirater flyger all världens väg. Det var en del av våldet då. Hur är det då med spriten? Vi följer piraterna in på en bar. Efter sjöslaget måste man läska strupen, eller hur?

"Till en bar drog envar 

varje karl som fanns kvar

Kapten Viit han kom dit 

tog en nit på kredit

Kapten Bäver drack genever 

Kapten Franz drack pommerans

Kapten Koppar Bäska Droppar 

Kapten Lans drack vad som fanns! 

Kapten Fura, Angostura 

Kapten Bayer drack tokajer  

Kapten Linn, han drack gin (är gin och genever samma sak?) 

Kapten Öd, han drack mjöd 

Kapten Boom, han drack rom 

Kapten Frälst drack vad som helst!"

 

En av kaptenerna dricker juice och en annan dricker vatten, men bara därför att det rimmar på deras respektive efternamn. Märk också att några av dryckerna (Angostura, Bäska Droppar, pomerans, tokajer) är numera väldigt okända och lika svåra att få tag på (t o m på Systembolaget!) Vem dricker t ex Angostura nuförtiden?

Och när en pirat jobbat hårt med att döda och plundra och sedan stärkt sig med ett glas har han såklart gjort sig förtjänt av lite kvinnligt sällskap:

"Kapten Skam, han tog sig fram 

till en mager madam

Kapten Sju tog itu 

med en ungdomlig fru

Kapten Hyska tog en ryska, 

Kapten Ess tog en negress

Kapten Benka tog en änka, 

Kapten Gris en servitris

Lägga an! Lägga till! Lägga upp! Lägga bi!

Kapten Punkt tog det lugnt 

och tog hand om något ungt!"

Föga förvånande har det funnit dom som velat sudda bort vissa delar. Meningen som retat upp moralens väktare är framförallt:

"Kapten Böös slog sig lös 

med en nakendansös!"

Både kapten Böos och kapten Punkt, den pedofilen!

Samt bilden där kapten Böös skålar bredvid den barbröstade nakendansösen (och negressen, en nidbild, finns med på samma illustration!) I USA, och i senare svenska upplagor, tog man sig helt sonika den konstnärliga friheten att krita dit en bikini (fast då är hon inte längre naken!). Likväl på den tjockrövade tjejen på sleeven (omslaget) på Queens Fat-Bottomed Girls.

Bikinin var INTE alltid där!

Om det är några som har ett avslappnat och icke-sexualiserat förhållande till kvinnobröst så är det väl för håken barn. (Bedöm gärna själva men varning för den hiskeliga dunka-dunka musiken!)

Historien, som är följande: två sjörövarskepp möts, slagsmål, kanonskott och till slut en stor explosion uppstår. De som överlever, efter sjöslaget, tar sig till en bar där de super loss och hittar sig en varsin fru/käresta. Efter en kväll av dans går de hem genom natten, och bestämmer sig för att ge upp sjöröveriet och istället slå sig ner som fredliga män. Men den dag som sjörövarskeppet kommer tillbaka, så kan de inte motstå att gå till sjöss igen –

----

PS. Om Roald Dahls nya PK-utgåvor:

Roald Dahl, också en Nationell Skatt i Storbritannien och vars främsta verk har alla filmats (Kalle och Chokladfabriken 2 gånger, Matilda även 2 gånger, likaså Häxorna och SVJ [den senaste först som tecknat och senare som live-action], James och Jättepersikan bara en gång, likaså Den fantastiske Räven, sagoparodierna Revolting Rhymes [som crossover i 2 delar], Naddap-Dlöks och allra senast Herr och Fru Slusk [premiär på Netflix i oktober 2025!]), har på sistone återgivits av Puffin Books (Penguins barndivision, som äger rättigheterna) med hjälp av s k "känslighetsläsare" (sensitivity readers). Allt som kunde vara negativt laddat förändrades i de nya utgåvorna:

Oompa-Loomparna kommer nu officielt från Loompalandet, inte från Afrika, och de har dessutom ljusare hy. Också: i stället för att använda Oompa-Loomparna som försökskaniner prövar Wille Wonka det magiska godiset (t ex hårkola) på sig själv.

"Mammor och pappor" byttes ut mot "föräldrar", "bröder och systrar" mot "syskon" och "män och kvinnor" mot "personer/människor".

Alla figurer som har en annorlunda kropp (utom jättarna i SVJ, som inte är människor) och/eller som inte är västerländska - deras beskrivningar suddas ut. Däribland feta figurer som August Glupsk, Bruno från Häxorna, Nikolai Thoresson (han som åt upp chokladtårtan) från Matilda och Mostrarna Sylt (den tjocka) och Snylt (den smala) från James och Jättepersikan.

Jämför bara vad småkrypen inuti persikan (tusenfotingen närmare bestämt) säger när Moster Sylt blir krossad av persikan i originalet och i den nya utgåvan!

ORIGINAL:

Aunt Sponge was terrifically fat,

and tremendously flabby at that!

NY PK-UTGÅVA:

Aunt Sponge was a nasty old brute

and deserved to be squashed by the fruit!

Moster Snylt har lika mycket otur:

ORIGINAL:

Aunt Spiker was thin as a wire

and dry as a bone, only drier!

NY PK-UTGÅVA:

Aunt Spiker was much of the same

and deserves half of the blame!

Även ord som "ugly" och "misshapen" (och motsatserna "pretty" och "beautiful") har försvunnit helt och hållet från de nya brittiska Roald-Dahl-böckerna. Rektorn i Matilda, Fröken Pitbull (tidigare känd som Domderassonskan), en stor och stark, väldigt muskulös och "maskulin" kvinna (Emma Thompson tolkar henne väldigt nära boken), man har förändrat hennes beskrivning otroligt mycket.

Andra ord som "crazy", "lunatic", och allt annat som kan syfta på psykisk ohälsa, likaså "gay" (t o m om det betyder "glad") och "queer" (t o m om det betyder "konstig"/"sällsam") har också försvunnit härifrån.

När det gäller figurer som inte är västerländska ser vi detsamma - For example, a character "hopping about like a dervish" in Fantastic Mr Fox became "hopping about like a frog".

Alla referenser till könsroller har också tagits bort, och häftiga förolämpningar har tonats ner, t ex om Fru Slusk: some insults directed at women were often softened (such as "ugly old cow" becoming "ghastly old shrew" in The Twits). 

The word fat was regularly removed, being replaced with terms such as enormous or large, as were references to short height and similar descriptions. References to characters being old was sometimes altered or removed.

The words crazy, lunatic, and mad, along with similar words, were regularly removed, as were some descriptions of low intelligence and mental disorders, such as removing a line from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory about a character being "shut up in some disgusting sanatorium". References to physical deformity or disability, including blindness, muteness, deafness, etc. were also commonly removed or altered.

References to lack of privilege were sometimes altered, such as removing a description of Sophie as "a little orphan of no real importance in the world" from The BFG.

References to poor personal hygiene were often removed, while some references to drinking alcohol and smoking were also changed. In Fantastic Mr Fox, Small Fox sniffs a bottle of cider rather than taking a sip, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's Oompa-Loompas are no longer described as "drunk as lords" on butterscotch and soda.

Other changes focused on violence. Comic references to violence were sometimes removed, and references to corporal punishment were changed. Mentions of deadly weapons such as guns and knives were often removed.

References to slaves and prisoners were removed, and certain references to death were removed.

Other changes focused on words that in British English usage have taken on more vulgar associations, such as horny and fanny.

Language related to weight, mental health, violence, gender and race has been cut and rewritten. Remember the Cloud-Men in James and the Giant Peach? They are now the Cloud-People. The Small Foxes in Fantastic Mr Fox are now female. In Matilda, a mention of Rudyard Kipling has been cut and Jane Austen added. It’s Roald Dahl, but different.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/02/17/roald-dahl-books-rewritten-offensive-matilda-witches-twits/

2 MINUTES BEFORE BEDTIME (STORIES)

SANDRINE LAMBERT - REALISTIC BEDTIME STORIES

(illustrated by Hilde van Cruen)

THE NEW TROUSERS

Theresa accompanies her mum to the mall because she needs a new pair of trousers. All pairs that she has are too small for her. She can still wear them, but it's a little too tight.

"Let's go," her mum says. "We have to by a new pair." Since the mall is a little far away from home, they decide to get there by car, even though when the weather is fair, (unlike today), they bicycle all the way there. Once they have arrived by car at the mall, they see that there are a lot of people, and that they will have to wait a quarter of an hour before they can find an empty spot at the parking lot. Luckily, Mum always brings good music on board, and, as they wait, mother and daughter sing out loud to kill the time. At last, Mum and Theresa have found an empty spot, and they have been able to park. Then, they have climbed up the escalators to the floor with the clothes shops.

"Where do you want to start looking?" Mum asks.
"On the ground floor," Theresa replies. "The last shop from last time." The daughter is looking for a pair of flowered trousers, like the ones she wore last summer.
"I don't know if there are such still in stock," Mum says, "but we'll go take a peek, shan't we?" Once inside the shop, Theresa realises that they have no longer got trousers like those, but everything is full of new designs, all of them beautiful. There are so many to have a peek at that mother and daughter no longer know quite well where they should have a look. Finally, Theresa finds a pair that she's fallen for.
"Mum!" cries Theresa, looking left and right. "Where could she have gone? She was right here, by my side, seconds ago..."
Theresa walks to and fro all over the shop to find her mum, and then leaves to look for her outside, but nothing: her mother has disappeared. Then, she enters the shop once more and asks the cashier if she has seen her mum, but the cashier says that she doesn't remember. She advises Theresa to head for the information desk, from which they will call her mum, and thus she will come to find her.
"All right," Theresa says confidently.

The cashier escorts Theresa all the way to the information desk, and, in the meantime, along the way, the little girl looks all around her, hoping she can see her mum. When they arrive, they see that Mum is already there, because she also wanted to send an announcement out loud to locate her daughter.

"You have made a very good decision in coming here," Mum says.

"This lady has helped me a lot," Theresa replies, looking at the female clerk.

"Thank you, madame," Mum replies.

"You're welcome," the cashier says, "but now I have to return to my job. Au revoir!"

"I went out to look at some clothes and lost you from sight," Mum explains to Theresa. Then, they return to the same shop where the helpful clerk was, and they buy a pair of lovely trousers and a lovely jumper decorated with flowers and beads.
"It's a gift for you, because you have known to do the best thing," Mum says.

**********************************

THE RUNAWAY KITTEN

Lisa has a pet kitten at home. It's a short time since she got him, and he's still a small one. When she leaves school, she returns home in haste to look for Misu, for that is the name she has given her pet. Today, the school bell has sounded for the students to get out in the afternoon, but Lisa stands in the schoolyard with the teacher, because her mum has not come to take her home yet.

"Where is she?" she asks the teacher. "I want to go home and see Misu..."

"She'll soon come, just like every day," the teacher replies. "Surely, she is about to arrive."

The teacher was right: here comes Mum! She (the teacher) knows that little girls are very impatient, and thus, she says: "Now your mum's right here!"

Lisa storms, running and skipping, into her mother's arms, and both of them return hastily home on their bicycle.

Lisa, sitting in the backseat, is snacking on an apple. She is always starving when she has to leave school. And thus, Mum always tells her:

"First, you should eat some fresh fruit, because it's very healthy, and later on you may have a sweet."

Once they get home, Lisa immediately sets off to look for her cat and starts calling: 

"Come, Misu, come here..." but he does not appear anywhere.

"Mum," a worried Lisa asks her, "where is he?"

"Must be napping somewhere," Mum says. "Look for him well."

Lisa looks first in the living room, even under the sofa, but Misu is nowhere to be seen. Not under the cupboard either.

"He isn't anywhere, Mum," Lisa pouts. "I don't understand... he has disappeared..."

"Look on the top floor," Mum replies.

Lisa looks through every room, even in the bathroom, but does not find him. Growing more and more restless, she begins to cry because her kitten is missing. Her mother, already a little worried, tells her: "Let's search everywhere one more time," and accompanies her upstairs to the top floor. They look through every nook and cranny and take up a little cat food, to draw Misu close to them, but neither do they find him this time. When Dad comes home from work, Lisa, in tears, explains what has happened.

"He cannot have disappeared," Dad says. "Misu cannot have left home yet."

"I know," Lisa sighs, "but he has run away..."

Suddenly, Dad hears a little noise, pays a little attention, and says:

"Silence! I can hear scratching... and... the noise comes from the cellar downstairs!" And Dad is right. Misu begins to meow, so they open the trapdoor, and the kitten runs out towards Lisa, ready to clasp him in her open arms.

"You had not looked in the cellar yet, eh?" Dad asks her with a laugh.

************************************************

THE PARK

Tomorrow, Beatrice will be going with her friends Sarah and Paula to the park.

That is why she is so happy! They will be going there in Paula's family car. Paula's dad is quite a strong and quite a funny fellow, who pushes the girls on the swings, makes funny faces, and helps them make sand castles. Beatrice loves going to the park with her two best friends, because all three have always lots of fun together.

But this morning, Beatrice has woken up feeling quite strange, and without any appetite.

"Have a slice of bread," her mum suggests. Beatrice makes an effort, but she cannot swallow, and she has this urge to throw up. She instantly bursts into tears because she is feeling ill-at-ease, but more so because she realises that most propably she will not be able to go to the park. Such bad luck!

Mum has prepared a clean pyjamas for her daughter.

"I don't want to put my PJs on!" she pouts as she sees it. "With my PJs on, I can't go anywhere; prepare my day clothes to go play in the park, Mum..."

"My darling, I don't believe you will be able to get out of doors anytime today," her mother says in a voice warm with kindness.

She already knows that her daughter is very excited about going to the park, but she realises that today she will have to stay at home.

Beatrice winces as she sits down on the sofa. Actually, she will soon have to go to bed, because her tummy is hurting quite sore.

Mum tucks her under the covers and touches her forehead.

"Lie down on the sofa, my little honeybee," Mum tells her. Whenever Beatrice is sad, her mother always calls her her "little honeybee." "Today you will feel a lot better," she adds. "The best thing you can do is rest, and thus, you will recover sooner."

Beatrice falls asleep for a while. Later on, when she awakes, she realises that she is already feeling a little better. Nevertheless, she is still feeling sad because she can't go to the park. She thinks of her friends, and how much fun they must be having on the swings, and that Paula's dad must surely be playing with them. What a pity that she is not able to go! Luckily, Mum goes her best and gives her all for her daughter to feel at ease at home: for this reason, she helps her make a great puzzle, and both of them read fairytales together. Thanks to her mother, Beatrice is also having fun at home.In the afternoon, by the way, Mum lets her watch telly for a while, sitting on the sofa. Suddenly the phone rings, Mum picks it up, and spends a good while talking on the phone.

"Who could it be?" Beatrice asks herself.

During the conversation, she overhears that sometimes they're speaking her name.

"It's Paula's dad," Mum finally says.

Beatrice listens, paying all her attention.

"At the end of the day, they have not gone to the park," her mother explains.

"Why?" asks Beatrice.

"Because you were not able to go, and they would rather do this when you have recovered."

Beatrice's face has suddenly lightened up as she listened to this.

"I have told Paula's dad that you already feel better, and that you will be able to go with them tomorrow."