A typical Punch and Judy show as performed currently in the UK will start with the arrival of Punch, followed by the introduction of Judy. They may well kiss and dance before Judy requests Punch to look after their Baby. Punch will fail to carry out this task appropriately. It is rare for Punch to hit his Baby these days (that looks like child abuse!), but he may well sit on it in a failed attempt to "babysit", or drop it, or even let it go through a sausage machine. In any event, Judy will return, will be outraged, will fetch a stick, and the knockabout will commence. A Policeman (always a British Bobby in Victorian uniform) will arrive in response to the mayhem and will himself be felled by Punch's stick. All this is carried out at breakneck farcical speed with much involvement from a gleefully shouting audience. From here on anything goes.
Joey the Clown might appear and suggest, "It's dinner time!" This will lead to the production of a string of sausages, which Punch must look after, although the audience will know that this really signals the arrival of a Crocodile whom Punch might not see until the audience shouts out and lets him know. The Crocodile typically stears and eats the sausages. Punch's subsequent comic struggle with the Crocodile might then leave him in need of a Doctor who will arrive and attempt to treat Punch by walloping him with a stick until Punch turns the tables on him. Punch may next pause to count his "victims" by laying puppets on the stage, only for Joey the Clown to move them about behind his back in order to frustrate him. A Ghost might then appear and give Mr. Punch a fright before it too is chased off with a stick.
Victorian productions typically ended with Punch's execution. Jack Ketch, the executioner, would arrive to punish Punch, only to himself be tricked into sticking his head in the noose."Do you do the hanging?" is a question often asked of performers. Some will include it where circumstances warrant (such as for an adult audience) but most do not. The executioner gets hanged himself at the end. Punch—in his final gleefully triumphant moment—will win his fight, bring the show to a rousing conclusion, and earn a round of applause. (Of course modern-day versions don't end with the execution scene, having the Ghost instead, for obvious reasons).
Punch and Judy might follow no fixed storyline, as with the tales of Robin Hood, but there are episodes common to many recorded versions. It is these set piece encounters or "routines" which are used by performers to construct their own Punch and Judy shows. A visit to a Punch and Judy Festival at Punch's "birthplace" in London's Covent Garden will reveal a whole variety of changes that are wrung by puppeteers from this basic material. Scripts have been published at different times since the early 19th century, but none can be claimed as the definitive traditional script of Punch and Judy. Each printed script reflects the era in which it was performed and the circumstances under which it was printed.
The various episodes of the show are performed in the spirit of outrageous comedy—often provoking shocked laughter—and are dominated by the anarchic clowning of trickster Punch. Just as the Victorian version of the show drew on the morality of its day, so also the Punch & Judy College of Professors considers that the 20th- and 21st-century versions of the tale is used as a vehicle for grotesque visual comedy and a sideways look at contemporary society.


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