YOUR TWO COWS

Your two cows.

• Capitalism: You've got two cows. A great international corporation offers you 50%. You sell one of the cows, buy a bull, and work for the corporation.
• Communism: You've got two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you the milk (always the same amount for five years).
• Fascism: You've got two cows. The government takes both of them and has you shot.
• French Revolution: You've got two cows. The government takes both of them and cuts your head off.
• Catholicism: You've got two cows. You give both of them to the Church to attain salvation.
• Protestantism: You've got two cows. You keep both of them, not giving them to the Church, because everyone is saved by faith alone.
• Enlightenment: You've got two cows. The government requires all three of you to get a good education.
• Surrealism: You've got two ostriches. The government requires all three of you to take harmonica lessons.
• Canadianism: You've got two cows. Vous avez deux vaches.
• Spanglish: Tú haves dos cawas.
• Denglisch: Du hast zwei Kauen.
• Russia: You have two cows. You drink some vodka and count them again. You have five cows. The Russian Mafiya shows up and takes however many cows you have.