This fic does not belong to me, but still I felt that I had to share it with u:
Frodo sat in Dolores Umbridge’s office. His reason for being there: causing a disruption in class. Yes, he was a hobbit wizard and with that came specific obligations. This was one of those times. And he would make sure she would leave Hogwarts.
“Miss Umbridge, what time is it?” Frodo asked, curious.
“Seven-thirty. Why do you ask?” Umbridge asked in return.
He shrugged. “I was curious.” He paused. “Miss Umbridge, are you the greatest witch at Hogwarts?”
“Is that a compliment? You’re in detention, Mr. Baggins.”
“I know, but it’s nice to be at your mercy.” He said, growing excited. “Miss Umbridge, what do you call a cat that chases mice?”
“Now Mr. Baggins, a cat is very stealthy and…”
“A louse!” He gaped at her in delight.
“A louse is an insect. It is not a cat or a mouse.”
“But a louse is better than a cat.”
“Cats are very stealthy creatures. They attack louses with pride, similar to what I am doing for your detention,” she said. Frodo peered at the black quill in derision.
“Miss Umbridge, do you know the difference between a dog and a cat?”
“Of course I do, boy. A dog chases the cat, but the bigger cat attacks the dog. That’s why cats are a vital importance at Hogwarts,” she smiled cheerfully. It was that smile that set Frodo’s teeth on edge. The way Umbridge was taking pride in cats drove him mad.
“Miss Umbridge, what’s the difference between a dog and a frog?”
“Mr. Baggins, I am obliged to answer all your questions about animals, but we really need to focus on your…”
“Miss Umbridge, what’s the difference between a step-stool and a normal-sized stool?” He asked in excitement. He paused. The silence was foreboding. “Well, what is it?”
“Mr. Baggins, you will write with this quill and…” she was cut off by Frodo, who had more questions to ask her:
“Miss Umbridge, why won’t you answer my questions? All Ravenclaws know the difference between a step-stool and a step-ladder.” His eyes beamed in rays of happiness.
“What is the point of these questions, Baggins?!” She stopped him from further asking questions. “That’s enough! I will not tolerate this nonsense a moment longer. I am off to see Dumbledore and punish you further for your insubordination.” She charged out the door without another word. He was pleased, but wondered if she would grant him more detentions…
As it happened, Frodo was released from further detentions. He met up with Fred and George Weasley in the Great Hall. They were excited when he explained his little test with Umbridge. It was a good day.