viernes, 19 de febrero de 2016

IF THE 30YW WERE A SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES...

A little funny piece of military history humour I made for Uttam and for myself. Like a parody (as well as a reference to the formula of every GoT season)...

IF THE 30 YEARS' WAR WERE A SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES...
The following would happen in each episode:

Episode 1) Rise of a New Era
Kaiser Matthias dies and his nephew/successor Ferdinand is crowned, beginning a realmwide Protestant hunt, with a brilliant string of victories, but plunged into economic distress. Albrecht von Wallenstein appears at the imperial court. Gustavus Adolphus and Mary Eleanor of Sweden have a strange child, a daughter they baptize as Christina...

Episode 2) The Purple Testament
Christian IV of Denmark is crushed by Tilly and Wallenstein, who become bitter rivals. Gustavus Adolphus is wounded in the throat at Dirschau, in Poland...

Episode 3) Alea Iacta Est
Tensions mount between Tilly and Wallenstein. Gustavus, recovering from his wounds and now unable to wear a breastplate, names Christina his heir. Wallenstein is cashiered as leader of the Imperial army. In France, Richelieu decides to call for Sweden... 

Episode 4) Chaos is Come Again
On Cardinal Richelieu's request, Gustavus leaves Sweden, backed up by France and leaving his daughter in the care of the regency. Wallenstein schemes to ruin the Count of Tilly, while Gustavus tries to parley with his stepbrother-in-law...

5) All the Worst Could Wish
The Catholic Leaguers storm and overrun Magdeburg, then advance into Saxony, whose elector is forced to ally with Gustavus. The younger Catholic generals coax Tilly into giving battle. At Breitenfeld, north of Leipzig, both armies clash for the first time...

6) One Card Short of a Full Deck
Gustavus and Eleanor enjoy the winter truce, while she is worried about his possible demise. Richelieu and Oxenstierna exchange letters, while Wallenstein tries to ally with Gustavus against the Kaiser. Fallen from grace, Tilly prays for victory. When springtime arrives, the Catholic League gives the last stand on the right bank of the Lech, having razed the bridge across the surging rapids, but Gustavus will not back in front of this rill. In fact, he's got a plan to cross this Rubicon of his own...

7) Return of the Fallen
The Count of Tilly dies of lockjaw at the commandant's in Ingolstadt. With the Swedes advancing already into Austria, the Kaiser has no other choice than to reinstate Wallenstein. When springtime has become summer, the Duke of Friedland intrenches himself on the Alte Feste, which Gustavus tries to storm time and again...

8) Sinister Omens
At the Alte Feste, both the Swedish and Imperial armies, locked in a standstill, are more decimated by epidemics than by enemy fire. Suddenly, Wallenstein sets fire to the holdfast and advances towards Saxony. Gustavus is determined not to lose that easily. A worried Eleanor has had a prophetic dream about Gustavus's death on the battlefield...

9) And Thus Their Stars Descend
On a foggy November day, Gustavus confronts Wallenstein at Lützen. The battle claims the lives of both the Count of Pappenheim and the King of Sweden. A brokenhearted Eleanor has her daughter spirited away to share her mourning, which leads to frictions with the Regency, and Banér's losing streak leads him to drown his sorrows more and more for each day while Wallenstein's lust for power leads to his exile and assassination...

10) Closing the Circle
Eleanor flees her imprisonment at Gripsholm and sets sail for Denmark, while Christina is thoroughly educated as a crown prince. Isabella and Thekla von Wallenstein are forgiven and given an estate by the Kaiser, while Johan Banér dies of cirrhosis due to his addiction to strong drink. Cardinal Richelieu dies as well. The season may end with an adult Christina and Leopold of Habsburg signing the Peace of Westphalia, Eleanor being reunited with her daughter at last...



2 comentarios:

  1. Many die, battle in the ninth episode, some retain power, some are fallen from grace but forgiven, some are still struggling for power and survival. More like ASOIAF. Well done. grin emoticon

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