"So close," she cried, pounding the earth in fury and sorrow. "So close--another step, another drop of blood--oh, but perhaps he is dead, my ---, after losing so much blood to show me the way. So many years, so much blood, so much silence, so much, too much, too much . . ."
She fell silent finally, dazed and exhausted with grief. The wind whispered to her, comforting; the trees sighed for her, weeping leaves that caressed her face.
Maybe --- is not dead, they said. We saw none ... fall dying from the sky. Enchantments do not die, they are transformed . . . Light sees everything. Ask the sun. Who knows him better than the sun who changed him ---? "Do you know?" she whispered to the sun, and for an instant saw its face among the clouds.
No, it said in words of fire, and with fire, shaped something out of itself. It's you I have watched, for seven years, as constant and faithful to your love as I am to the world. Take this. Open it when your need is greatest. She felt warm light in her hand. The light hardened into a tiny box with jeweled hinges and the sun's face on its lid. She turned her face away disconsolately; a box was not a ---. But she held it, and it kept her warm through dusk and nightfall as she lay unmoving on the cold ground.
She asked the full moon when it rose above the mountain, "Have you seen my ---? For seven years you showed me each drop of blood, even on the darkest night."
It was you I watched, the moon said. More constant than the moon on the darkest night, for I hid then and you never faltered in your journey. I have not seen your --.
"Do you know," she whispered to the wind, and heard it question its four messengers, who blew everywhere in the world. No, they said, and No, and No, And then the sweet south wind blew against her cheek, smelling of roses and warm seas and endless summers. "Yes."
She lifted her face from the ground. Twigs and dirt clung to her. Her long hair was full of leaves and spiders and the grandchildren of spiders. Full of webs, it looked as filmy as a bridal veil. Her face was moon pale; moonlight could have traced the bones through it. Her eyes were fiery with tears. "My ---." "He has become --- again. The seven years are over. But ---, battle sparked. He is still fighting."
She sat up. "Where?"
"In a distant land, beside a southern sea. I brought you a nut from one of the trees there. It is no ordinary nut. Now listen. This is what you must do . . ."
So she followed the South Wind to the land beside the southern sea, where the sky flashed red with dragon fire, and its fierce roars blew down trees and tore the sails from every passing ship.
****
Sun slid a last gleam down the gold edge of the gate. She remembered its gift then and drew the little gold box out of her pocket. She opened it. A light sprang out of it, swirled around her like a storm of gold dust, glittering, shimmering. It settled on her, turned the feathers into the finest silk and silk cloth of gold. It turned the cobwebs in her hair into a long sparkling net of diamonds and pearls. It turned the dust on her feet into soft golden leather and pearls. Light played over her face, hiding shadows of grief and despair.
(PORTIA BREAKS THE MOONSTONE - CHANGE GOLD INTO SILVER SILK INTO FUR THE NET INTO AN USHANKA, PEARLS INTO DIAMONDS)
****
--- approached the bed. She saw ---'s face in the light of a single candle beside the bed. It was bruised and scratched; there was a long weal down one bare shoulder. He looked older, weathered, his pale skin burned by the sun, which had scarcely touched it in years. The candlelight picked out a thread of silver here and there among the russet of his hair. She reached out impulsively, touched the silver.
"My poor ---," she said softly. "At least, for seven years, you were faithful to me. You shed blood at every seventh step I took. And I took seven steps for every drop you shed. How strange to find you naked in this bed, waiting for a queen instead of yours truly. At least I had you for a little while, and at long last you are unbewitched."
She bent over him, kissed his lips gently. He opened his eyes.
She turned away quickly before the loving expression in them changed to disappointment. But he moved more swiftly, reaching out to catch her hand before she left. "Pasha?" He gave a deep sigh as she turned again, and eased back into the pillows. "I heard your sweet voice in my dream.... I didn't want to wake and end the dream. But you kissed me awake. You are real, aren't you?" he asked anxiously as she lingered in the shadows, and he pulled her out of darkness into light. He looked at her for a long time, silently, until her eyes filled with tears.
"I've changed," she said.
"Yes," he said. "You have been enchanted, too."
"And so have you, once again."
He shook his head. "You have set me free."
"And I will set you free again," she said softly, "to marry whom you choose."
He moved again, too abruptly, and winced. His hold tightened on her hand. "Have I lost all enchantment?" he asked sadly. "Did you love the spellbound man more than you can love the ordinary mortal? Is that why you left me?"
She stared at him. "I never left you--"
"You disappeared," he said wearily. "After seven long years of gallivanting around, you were gone. I thought you could not bear to stay with me through yet another enchantment. I didn't blame you. But it grieved me badly--I was glad when she attacked me, because I thought it might kill me. Then I woke up in my own body, in a strange bed, with a queen beside me explaining that we were destined to be married."
"Did you tell her you were married?"
He sighed. "I thought it was just another way of being enchanted. A shard through an eye, a shard through the heart, marriage to a beautiful queen I don't love--what difference did anything make? You were gone. I didn't care any longer what happened to me."
She swallowed, but could not speak.
"Are you about to leave me again?" he asked painfully. "Is that why you'll come no closer?"
"No," she whispered. "I thought--I didn't think you still remembered me."
He closed his eyes. "For seven years I left you my heart's blood to follow...."
"And for seven years I followed. And then on the last day of the seventh year you disappeared. I couldn't find you anywhere. I asked the Sun, the Moon, the Star. I followed their advice to find you. It told me how to break the spell over you. So I did-"
His eyes opened again. "You. You are the enchantress my queen talks about. You rescued both of us. And then-"
"She took you away from me before I could tell her-I tried-" His face was growing peaceful in the candlelight. "She doesn't listen very well. But why did you think I had forgotten you?"
"I thought--she was so beautiful, I thought--and I have grown so worn, so strange-" For the first time in seven years, she saw him smile. "You have walked the world, and spoken to the sun and moon . . . I have only been enchanted. You have become the enchantress."
He pulled her closer, kissed her hand, and then her wrist. He added, as she began to smile, "What a poor opinion you must have of my human shape to think that after all these years I would prefer a queen to my own sister." He pulled her closer, kissed the crook of her elbow, and then her breast. And then she caught his lips and kissed him, one hand in his hair, the other in his hand.
And thus the Snow Queen found them, as she opened the door, speaking softly, "My dear, I forgot, if he wakes you must give him this potion--I mean, this tea of mild herbs to ease his pain a little-" She kicked the door shut and saw their surprised faces. "Well," she said frostily. "Really."
"This is my sister," Julian said.
"Well, really." She flung the sleeping potion out the window, and folded her arms. "You might have told me."
"I never thought I would see her again."
"How extraordinarily careless of you both." She tapped her foot furiously for a moment, and then said, slowly, her face clearing a little, "That's why you were there to rescue us! Now I understand. And I snatched him away from you without even thinking--and after you had searched for him so long, I made you search--oh, my dear." She clasped her hands tightly. "What I said. About not spending a full night here. You must not think-"
"I understand."
"No, but really--tell her, Ilya." "It doesn't matter," --- said gently. "You were kind to me. That's what Pasha will remember."
But she remembered everything, as they flew in the Snow Queen's carriage across the icy sea: the seven years when she followed her love beyond any human life, the battle between her and the demons, and then the hopeless loss of him again. She turned the empty vial of stardust in her palm, and questions rose in her head: Can I truly stand more mysteries, the possibilities of more hardships, more enchanting princesses between us? Would it be better just to...? Then we would all fall down, in this moment when our love is finally intact. He seems to live from spell to spell. Is it better to die now, before something worse can happen to him? How much can love stand?
... caught her eyes and smiled at her.
for fetching the moonstone:
Even while he spoke they came to the edge of the Bitter Lake—a small pool, but its waters were blacker than night, and heavier than lead to the eye. Then Noodle leapt down from the Plough, and caressed it for the last time, saying: 'Set thy face for the garden where the Princess Melilot is; and when I am come back to thee speechless out of the Lake and am striding thee once more, then wait not for a word but carry me to her with more speed than thou hast ever mustered to my aid till now; go faster than wind or lightning or than the eye can see! So, [pg 61]by good fortune, I may live till I reach her lips; but if thou tarry at all I am a dead man. And when thou art come to Melilot set thy share beneath the roots of her feet, and take her up to me out of the ground. Do this tenderly, but abate not speed till it be done!'
Then the youth put into his mouth the honey of the Burning Rose, and into his lips the Sweetener, and stripped himself as a bather to the pool. And the Plough, remembering its master's word, turned and set its face to where lay the garden with Melilot waiting to be relieved of her enchantment. Whereat Noodle, bowing his head, and blessing it with lips of farewell, turned shortly and slid down into the blackness of the lake.
The weight of that water was like a vice upon his limbs, and around his throat, as he swam out into the centre of the pool. As he went he breathed upon the water, [pg 62]and the scent of the honey of the Burning Rose passing through the Sweetener made an incomparable fragrance, gentle, and subtle, and wooing to the senses.
When he came to the middle of the lake he stayed breathing full breaths, till the air deepened with fragrance around him. Presently underneath him he felt the movement of a great thing coming up from the bottom of the pool. It touched his feet and came grazing along his side; and all at once shuddering and horror took hold upon him, for his whole nature was filled with loathing of its touch.
Then... feeling in his mouth the precious globule of air, fastened his lips upon it and shot out for shore.
Against the weight of those leaden waters a longing to gasp possessed him; but he knew that with the least breath the bubble would be lost, and all his labour undone. Not too soon his feet caught hold of the bank, and drew him free to land. He cast himself speechless across the back of the Galloping Plough and clung.
[pg 64]
The Plough gathered itself together and sprang away through space. Remembering its master's word it showed itself a miracle of speed; like lightning became its flight.
The eye of Noodle grew blind to the passing of things; he could take no count of the collapsing leagues. More and more grew the amazingness of the Plough's leaps, things only to be measured by miles, and counted as joltings on the way; while fast to the back of it clung Noodle, and endured, praying that shortness of breath might not overmaster him, or the check of his lungs give way and burst him to the emptiness of a drum. His senses rocked and swayed; he felt the gates of his resolve slackening and forcing themselves apart; and still the Galloping Plough plunged him blindly along through space.
