THE BBC CENSORS FAWLTY TOWERS

 I have said before how books like Tintin in the Congo or elements like Santa's pipe have been removed due to political correctness. 

The same has happened with Puffin Books' sensitivity readers to Roald Dahl, where Matilda's reading of Rudyard Kipling has become Jane Austen, "hopping like a dervish" became "hopping like a frog," "fat" became "enormous," "ugly old cow" became "nasty old shrew" and "gay" and "queer" were completely excised, even if they mean "happy" and "strange" respectively.

James Bond and Agatha Christie (Ten Little Soldier Boys, anyone?) have also been given the PC treatment, but what shocked me the most was that they did it to FAWLTY TOWERS :O !

But the billboard anagrams are not the only issue in translating FT. How to translate cultural references...? "At the Oval" becomes "en el críquet", but "Wogs?" (British slur for South Asians, very offensive to them!) And Manuel's funny mistakes, based on the Anglo-Spanish language barrier?

Mr. Fawlty: Manuel, there is too much butter on those trays.

Manuel: ¡No, no, no, señor Folty! ¡Not "on, dous, treis"! ¡"Un, dos, tres"! (counting to three with fingers)

This fragment is simply cut out. Just because most Spaniards, due to the lack of long vowels and other features of their mother tongue, prove as ineffectual when it comes to foreign languages as Manuel in the dialogue above.

I grew up with this scene, where Mr. Fawlty and the Major are discussing ethnic groups. The Major, a veteran of both World Wars, thinks (obviously) that Germans are the enemy but that German women are very attractive... then the conversation turns to (pardon my French) Injuns and Niggers, and Wogs. He recalls having taken his ladylove to see England vs. India at The Oval, the most important cricket ground in the UK and maybe in the world. The Major and his girlfriend got into an argument - she kept referring to the South Asian cricketers as "niggers," while the Major said niggers were the West Indians, from the Caribbean, and these cricketers were "Wogs" instead:

• Major Gowen: I must have been keen on her because I took her to see India.
• Basil Fawlty: India?
• Maj. Gowen: At The Oval.
• [...]
• Maj. Gowen: The strange thing was that throughout the morning, she kept referring to the Indians ("Injuns") as niggers. 'No, no, I said'. 'Niggers are the West Indians, these people are Wogs!' 'No, no', she said, all cricketers are niggers.'
• [...]
• Maj. Gowen: I hate Germans! I love women.
• Polly Sherman (the maid): What about German women?
• Maj. Gowen: Good card players.

++++++++

The term "Wog" comes most probably from "pollywog," an amphibian larva, but also metaphorically a novice sailor in the Royal Navy, one that is young and inexperienced, and has not crossed the Equator yet (compare Spanish "renacuajo"). It could also be an initialism for Westernised Oriental Gentleman.

And now the BBC has taken out these scenes where the Major discusses niggers and Wogs...

The BBC deleted this scene in 2013 and this was met with collective outrage.

After all, the point of the scene was to present Major Gowen as arrogant, aloof and out-of-touch. But Brits love him warts and all, with his antiquated racism, and I am not the only one who has grown up with this series, or Monty Python, or 'Allo 'Allo!, or Blackadder, or Hyacinth "Bouquet..."

The major tells Mr. Fawlty about the time he took a woman to see India play cricket at the Oval. He then says: ‘The strange thing was, throughout the morning she kept referring to the Indians as niggers. “No, no, no,” I said, “the niggers are the West Indians. These people are wogs”.’

Several years ago there were concerns that the episode would never be shown again because of the offensive words. However, recent editions of The Complete Fawlty Towers DVD, distributed by BBC Worldwide, have not been edited and included the segment that was cut by the BBC.

Some fans took to the BBC’s Points of View message board to say they ‘despaired’ at the ‘unnecessary’ editing.

One wrote: ‘You can’t airbrush history away and I doubt if anyone but the terminally thin-skinned could be offended by the Major, a character we’re clearly supposed to laugh at rather than with.’

Another posted: ‘The point is that the Major is a racist old bigot, incongruous with modern society – even in the Seventies. The audience isn’t supposed to agree with him, they’re supposed to laugh at him. The whole episode is about xenophobia in various forms – it’s social satire. I instinctively dislike the airbrushing of history.’

A third viewer wrote: ‘So how sad BBC you have finally succumbed and lost the guts to transmit the episode of Fawlty Towers “The Germans” in its original form. The major’s speech of his experience of going out with a woman to the Oval is one of the funniest things ever.

‘You edited it because it includes the W-word and the N-word. Let’s face it, the whole episode and much of Fawlty Towers is racist by today’s standards and misogynistic, but above all it is hilarious.

‘We are all grown up, you know. We, the vast majority of us, can laugh at this without being racists.

‘It’s about time you grew up BBC, and trusted your audience. We know what is acceptable and what is not and what is funny and why, and the fact it is of a time which is now long past. We understand context, the major is a figure of fun, he doesn’t whip up hatred.’

Fawlty Towers was written by and starred John Cleese and his then wife Connie Booth as Mr. and Mrs. Fawlty. "The Germans" was the sixth episode of the 12 that were made and was voted number 11 in Channel 4’s One Hundred Greatest TV Moments in 1999.

The series has continued to entertain families since being made in the 1970s and was in 2000 voted by industry professionals to be the best British series of all time.

A BBC spokesman said: ‘We are very proud of Fawlty Towers and its contribution to British television comedy.

‘But public attitudes have changed significantly since it was made and it was decided to make some minor changes, with the consent of John Cleese’s management, to allow the episode to transmit to a family audience at 7.30 pm on BBC2.’

The BBC has cut from a repeat of the episode The Germans (screened many times since it was first seen in 1975) a speech in which the blimpish hotel resident Major Gowen uses two outlawed racial insults while reporting on a trip to see an England v India cricket match at the Oval.

It is impossible to discuss properly the censored dialogue without quoting the line. Very sensitive readers should stop now and it should not be assumed that I, the Guardian – or, indeed, John Cleese and Connie Booth, the show's writers and co-stars – endorse the general or casual use of such terms. In his anecdote, the Major tells Mr. Fawlty that he went to the cricket match with a woman who "kept referring to the Indians as niggers. 'No, no, no,' I said, 'the niggers are the West Indians. These people are wogs.'"

The objection to those shows is that the assumptions behind the characterisation and writing date from an era of different attitudes to race and therefore risk causing offence now. In contrast, Cleese and Booth, when they wrote the character of Major Gowen, were clearly not being unthinkingly racist; rather, they were satirising an English upper-class bigot. The joke depends on the audience first thinking that, when the Major rebukes his companion "No, no, no", he is condemning her for inflammatory language, when it turns out that he is simply a particularly pedantic racist. A liberal pedant might object that it was odd of the BBC to cut just that one line from the episode in question as the entire premise of "The Germans" is English post-WW2 humour and hostility towards the country. But, while the show will never win a prize for encouraging Anglo-German cultural understanding, Cleese is comically depicting – rather than politically promoting – fear of "Fritz".

 The same defence can be made of Major Gowen's speech and so there may be pressure for the entire episode to be shown at a later date, with an appropriate note about its content. Major Gowen is racist; Fawlty Towers isn't.

I am not the only one who has grown up with this series, or Monty Python, or 'Allo 'Allo!, or Blackadder, or Hyacinth "Bouquet..." Before I watched this episode as a tween, I knew nothing about cricket, I didn't know what the Oval was or what "Wogs" meant. Now in my thirties, I am very sad that the BBC has removed this conversation between Mr. Fawlty and the Major. I can tolerate that Tintin in the Congo is no longer in Swedish libraries, that Santa no longer smokes a pipe, that Roald Dahl has been edited by Puffin Books - BUT PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY MAJOR OR HIS WOGS!!!

PRECIOUS SCONES (POKÉMON GALAR OC:S)

 I have a fick about two Rocketeers named Sundance (dark-skinned redheaded female, enneatype Seven, Aquarius, extrovert) and Kidd (pale-skinned platinum blond male, enneatype One, Taurus, introvert), who are a marine unit aboard the good ship Nagelfar (actually a yacht) and their Pokémon Team led by a talking Galarian Meowth called Freya, their Team Pet (ambivert, enneatype Eight, Leo, sarcastic). All their Pokémon are named and speciesed after Norse Gods: they have a Skiddo which later evolves into Gogoat called Thor, a Mimikyu called Hela, a one-eyed Corviknight called Odin, a Galarian Rapidash called Frey, a Sprigatito which later evolves into Floragato and Meowscarada called Loki, a shiny Charizard called Surt which can become a Mega Charizard X... The historical setting is inspired by the 1980s. They defect and become free pirates, and from them on it's a war between them, the Galarian and Kalosian fronts of Team Rocket who are feuding (Sundance and Kidd are Galarian, well, Sundance is Crown Tundran, making her rowdier and more boisterous to match the Irish stereotype! Kidd is a Wyndoner, which would be a Londoner in our world), and the Law of both nations. The title?

PRECIOUS SCONES (VI NAGELFAR, IN SWEDISH): THE HUNDRED-CHEERS WAR

Later on they travel to Levincia in Paldea and are given a VIP tour of its Ocean Park full of Pokémon (Tirtouga and Carracosta with numbered carapaces, Flamigo, the Torterra line, Finneon and Lumineon, Luvdisc, Alomomola, Octillery, Inkay and Malamar, Oshawott, the Primarina line, the Skeledirge line, the Empoleon line, Eiscue, Galarian Farfetch'd and Sirfetch'd, Wailmer, the Walrein line, Frillish and Jellicent, the Inteleon line, the Froakie line), with Freya on a leash, by the architect of all the modern art white buildings on Levincia's riverbed and waterfront (not only the Ocean Park but also the Opera House, the Science Museum, the Panoramic Cinema, the Revolutionary Bridge, the Sunrise Pier, and the Green Promenade of Flying Buttresses), the older Santiago (inspired by Calatrava), whom they met at a sunny outdoor terrace where Kidd was having horchata and Santiago and Sundance were having Agua de Levincia (Oran Berry juice with Paldean cava -bubbly wine- and vodka, on ice). He takes them for honeymooners at first because so many honeymooners and newlyweds take pictures of themselves in front of his futuristic architecture. Santiago also paid their drinks. In the end everyone was exhausted and slumped into their bunks on the boat (Santiago into his villa bed outside Levincia). A mean Inteleon at the Ocean Park, nicknamed "Mean Newt" by the staff, who liked to shoot his water finger gun at the guests' pet Pokémon, had also gotten Freya wet, giving her a serious phobia of all newt Pokémon, not only Inteleon and its pre-evolutions Sobble and Drizzile, but also Salandit and Salazzle, Wooper and Quagsire. (It makes sense when you are a cat with a coat of steel wool how serious it would be for you to get wet, and therefore how crippling Freya's newt phobia is!)

Kidd's family is pretty ordinary and they are divorced. His full name is Henry Kidd Junior. His dad Henry Senior lives in a block of flats on Wyndon's outskirts and he loves playing golf and feeding stale bread to the Farfetch'ds, Sirfetch'ds, and Swannas in the district park pond. His mum Kate (née Collins) lives in Compshire in the Galarian countryside in a thatched cottage, not far from Ballonlea, and she does gardening and keeps Bellossoms and Lilligants as pets. She has grafted her berry bushes to create some pretty interesring hybrid berries. Kate also loves reading classic Galarian literature from the Middle Ages to the Industrial Revolution. She is especially fond of Killian Drakespeare, the famous Bard of Ballonlea, having acted in many of his plays, and still watches him both on telly (TV) and at the village theatre in Ballonlea, where they hold the Drakespeare Festival, with performances of his classic plays and a Renaissance faire. Above the fireplace hangs a poster of her in the lead role that made her: Katherine, her namesake, in The Taming of the Shroodle. She met Henry, who was then a young critic, at a performance at the Ballonlea Drakespeare Festival, and they fell in love, one of the many many times she starred in that play, of which she never grew weary and for which she played a wild, angry hoyden very unlike her gentle true self. Kate's twin sister, Kidd's maternal maiden aunt Louise Collins, who is hyperactive and free-spirited, always played Katherine's demure and gentle sister Bianca. Now she lives in Lumiose, the capital of Kalos, and is a fashion model and the face of a perfume brand, Eau de Star (though she has a crippling phobia of and allergy to lepidopteran Pokémon, ever since a Vivillon startled her in a lavender field in Southern Kalos one summer as a child. A Galarian female therapist, though well-intentioned, worsened her phobia by putting Louise in a cage full of Butterfrees, Vivillons, and Beautiflies, the dust from whose wings clogged her airways and made her cry!). Her rooftop penthouse has a swimming pool and a great Prism Tower view, especially at sunset and by night. Henry and Kate fell out of love because their marriage grew cold and due to irreconcilable differences. She wants a cottage and he wants to live in Wyndon town where the action is, though she didn't see much action in the sport of golf or in feeding waterfowl Pokémon by a pond. He doesn't understand the Renaissance linguistics of Drakespeare or doesn't want to get messy gardening, though, when she suggests an apron, he asks, "What about the body parts the apron does not cover?" Divorce was inevitable.

Sundance Tawhare's first name name is actually a translation of her original, nearly unpronounceable Crown Tundran (read: Gaelic) name, which means "dances with the Sun". Her family gave her that name to keep her away from curses and ghost- and dark- type Pokémon. Her mother and maternal grandmother are goodwives, ie herbalists and midwives, helping babies be born and hatch Pokémon eggs, with a reputation as village witches in the family's home village of Freezington. From them she learned how to use minerals, plants, fungi, and Pokémon parts for healing. Her dad Temuera Tawhare was a folklorist from Alola (Poni Island to be more precise) who came over to the Crown Tundra to study the supernatural and the folklore of the land and fell in love with the folklore, the landscape, and a beautiful Freezington girl who had no suitors due to her quirky heritage. Now he is a Literature teacher at the local school. It is from him that Sundance gets her passion for folklore and stories, hence the Norse Gods theme of the Pokémon Team. Her maternal grandpa is a dullahan, a headless horseman. Once, during the Second Great War, he was a young aristocratic army officer, Sir/Lieutenant Owen, from rural Southern Galar, who married Sundance's granny Maeve O'Hara and left her pregnant with Sundance's mother Rhiannon. He was in the cavalry and wanted to tame Spectrier, to use him as a weapon against the Axle Powers. He got a magical bridle and bit made from night-blooming plants, married Maeve, and impregnated her. But the goodwife or witch warned him that taming Spectrier would come at a price. On the first battle he rode the ghostly steed, a mortar shell from Kanto blew off his head. Still on he rode. Though left for dead by the Galarian Army, he lived on undead and rode on to a pregnant Maeve, made his condition known to her by signs. It was autumn, so she took a dried pumpkin jack o' lantern, put a Litwick inside it and it became Sir Owen's new head. Sundance is well-acquainted with both her grandfather and Spectrier, who have come to visit the family home on autumn nights, especially for Samhain leading the Wild Hunt: a great parade of ghost- and dark- type Pokémon all over the Crown Tundra, Isle of Armour, Galar, Kalos, and Northern Paldea (what would be the Celtic world in real life). Sundance is not ashamed at all of her family. She finds it pretty original!

Freya was originally a stray living on the backstreets of a summer resort in Southern Galar, in Hulbury by the Galarian Channel, and orphaned as a young kitten. She had a tough upbringing and survived by stealing and fleeing from petcatchers, even learning human speech. One day she stole a necklace from a wealthy Kalosian female tourist, attracted to its shiny sapphire, and was chased by both police (who wanted the gem) and petcatchers (who wanted the then nameless young Meowth's fallopian tubes tied up). Kidd and Sundance, then part of Team Rocket, were there for some relaxation and having some ice cream, and she jumped straight at them. Adopting and naming Freya was a no brainer (also, Kidd learned that Sundance knows what "fallopian tubes" means)!

Hela the Mimikyu hatched and was raised from owner to owner in the black market, being sold cheaper and cheaper because she brought misfortune to all her owners. Then she was not even given a name. They said she was cursed... Sundance got her when she belonged to Team Rocket and broke her curse by giving her a name, a kiss, and lots of love: things Hela had never had before. She soon opened up to Odin and Thor and is now a valuable crew member. She can communicate with humans through telepathy, like Odin the one-eyed Corviknight and Frey the Galarian Rapidash. Hela is a Pisces and a Four on the Enneagram. Odin is a Capricorn and a Five, and pretty aloof. Thor is an Aries and an Eight. He eats anything with cellulose, but is especially fond of clover and Yellow Pages. Frey is a Libra and a Nine on the Enneagram. He was caught by Kidd in Compshire when he belonged to Team Rocket, once when he and Sundance went there to visit his mum for the weekend, as a Ponyta.

PRECIOUS SCONES/VI NAGELFAR: POKÉMON

A RELEVANT PROLOGUE 

Kidd and Sundance meet first on a square in downtown Wyndon. There is a great statue of a bronze Commander from the industrial era on a very high pillar in the middle, surrounded by four oversized statues of bronze Pyroars to the four cardinal directions: males to the north and south, females to the east and west. Sundance, a cinnamon-skinned redhead in her twenties with fiery hair in a messy ponytail and green eyes, dressed in a mint green power suit, looks around in all directions.

SUNDANCE: Well, well, well... The Wyndon Eye?

She stops Kidd, a quintessential Wyndoner in his twenties with lilywhite skin in a Prussian blue impeccable business suit and black umbrella, with slicked back platinum hair and icy blue eyes.

SUNDANCE: Sir, where's the Wyndon Eye?

KIDD: It is "Could you please direct me to the Wyndon Eye," Miss. And, by the colour of your fiery hair and emerald eyes as well as your uncouth manners and your loud brashness, I take you to be from the Crown Tundra. If you keep on talking like that here in Wyndon town, you will sound like either a barbarian or a drill sergeant. May I invite you to a stout later this evening?

SUNDANCE: I AM a Crown Tundran, Sir.

KIDD: It is Kidd, not Sir, Miss...

SUNDANCE: Sundance, pleased to meet you (they shake hands).

KIDD: Well, Sundance, it will be a pleasure to escort such a lovely maiden to the Wyndon Eye and get on board with you, together. Your cinnamon complexion betrays some foreign descent, from outside the Crown Tundra.

(Sundance laughs.)

SUNDANCE: My dad is from Alola! His name is Temuera! He was a folklorist and he came to study the legends and the supernatural of the Crown Tundra, but, after he met Mum and they had me, he teaches Literature at our school... My mum Rhiannon does a lot of things, but mostly she hatches Pokémon eggs!

It begins to rain.

SUNDANCE: Shoot, it's raining!

KIDD (opening his umbrella): No matter, we can share my brolly.

SUNDANCE: What is a brolly?

KIDD: Why? It's an umbrella! Wyndonsplaining...

They get on the Wyndon Eye together, just as it's ceasing to rain around the ferris wheel.

SUNDANCE: WOW! You can see all of Wyndon town, even the surrounding woods...

That evening, they eat Veluza fish and chips at The Happy Veluza, Kidd's favourite chip shop, then have a few stouts at Kidd's favourite pub, and then, as Kidd follows Sundance to the hotel, the following exchange occurs:

KIDD: I live in a suburb of Wyndon with my dad Henry, he plays a lot of golf. Mum's name is Kate. She lives in a thatched cottage in the countryside and does a lot of gardening. They're divorced. Quite the garden-variety Galarians, pun intended. After I drop you at the hotel I've got to take the bus home... I work for a certain secret organisation that happens to be recruiting nowadays. My card... 

He shows her a card with a big red R and an address in suburban Wyndon.

SUNDANCE: 13 Hyacinth Crescent... Oh my Arceus! It's the address where I have to show up tomorrow morning for my job interview.

KIDD: Really?

SUNDANCE: Of course?

KIDD: Then, see you tomorrow! Break a leg!

They blow one another a kiss and see each other disappear.

PS. At the Happy Veluza.

KIDD: You can't visit Wyndon without sampling the local specialty, right?

SUNDANCE: Scrumptious! The breaded Veluza and the chips are both golden and crispy!

KIDD: You see why this is my favourite chip shop! Lucky we have a high tea between lunch and supper! Now for some sightseeing around town, and then a stout at Colin's at seven!

SUNDANCE: Don't tell me the pub owner is Crown Tundran like yours truly!

KIDD: Of course, my Horsea! He immigrated here in his youth to set up the pub...

They see and take photos of several monuments and feed the Swannas in a park pond. Around seven, in the rain under their shared brolly, Kidd and Sundance stop by a cozy downtown pub. The sign says "Colin's." The pub seems to be from the seventeenth or eighteenth century.

Upon entering, above the bar stands a sign reading "Céad Míle Fáilte!" Colin is a robust Crown Tundran in his fifties, with salt-and-pepper hair and whiskers. He looks like Colin Farrell.

COLIN: 'Evening, Kidd! A hundred thousand welcomes!

SUNDANCE: 'Evening, Colin... Céad Míle Fáilte! A hundred thousand welcomes to you too! That's what it says on the sign on the bar...

KIDD: I always wondered what it meant... 'Evening, Colin!

COLIN: That's a nice little cailín you've picked up on the town today. Follow old Colin's advice and tie the knot with her. I am always too busy with the pub to get married. You could say the pub is me wife!

KIDD: Oh no, she's just a friend I made, I might just as well prefer the company of other gentlemen! By the way, what is a "caleen?"

SUNDANCE: A cailín is a girl or a maiden in Crown Tundran. Someone like me.

COLIN: That's right! Anyway, may I take your orders?

KIDD: A pint of stout for me, please.

SUNDANCE: And a quarter gallon of stout for me.

KIDD: Can't you say please? And isn't a quarter gallon a tad too much for a lady?

COLIN: We Crown Tundrans go straight to the point. No time for any posh pleases or thanks. Oh my, it was ages since I last poured a quarter gallon to a cailín like you...

SUNDANCE: No matter. I have a pretty high threshold. I can hold it.

By the time Kidd and Sundance leave Colin's pub and he's escorting her to the hotel, it's quarter to eight and both of them are merry, neither one is at least slightly tipsy.

Later on, there is a political event called Galarxit which means Galar leaves the Federation of Regions which means Team Rocket gets leeway to carry out more illegal operations, and which leads to a war between the Galarian and Kalosian branches of Team Rocket. It is called the Galarxit War.

PRECIOUS SCONES/VI NAGELFAR 

RETURN TO WYNDON (THE YELLOW POKÉBALL)

A series of choice abductions are taking place all around the capital of Galar. They hail from both Wyndon itself and the provinces and they happen to be powerful Pokémon, Drakespearean thespians, and intelligent scientists and techies. Wherever an abduction takes place, a graffiti of a big yellow Pokéball is left behind as calling card, leaving Galarian police to call the criminal "the Yellow Pokéball."

The cover shows Kidd and Sundance (and Freya) in raincoats with Pokéballs in hand in front of a redbrick wall of Lumiose Dock in Wyndon (shipping for Kalos heads there). The Yellow Pokéball is painted on the wall.

The crew of the Nagelfar, after learning of the crimes through the Galar Times, meet in Wyndon a retired Drakespearean thespian and aristocrat from the Ballonlea shire, Sir Kenneth Lockheart, made famous by the villainous role of Honest Iago (he is based upon Iago, Branagh, and Gilderoy Lockhart), which he played alongside Kidd's mum Kate as Iago's wife Emilia, and shortly after he invites them to Corphish thermidor and white wine followed by Oran Berry crêmeux, and then to a few pints of stout, both supper and drinks at a gentlemen's club, the Reform Club (for which Sundance has to wear a suit, an emerald green suit gifted by Sir Kenneth at Horrod's, and fake a deep voice, since no women are allowed), Kidd has his pint of stout spiked and disappears. It is up to Sundance and Freya, partly riding Odin, partly on foot, to search for him, following clues through unsafe Wyndon streets in the night, down to a warehouse on Lumiose Dock where all the thespians and scientists and techies (including Kidd) and powerful Pokémon, are being held hostage... BY SIR KENNETH!!! He reveals that he was inspired by his character, Honest Iago. He was also made aware of the vanity of youth when his best friend Kate left the stage to have a husband and child, and Kate's sister Louise announced her move to Kalos, so he decided to leave the stage too and pick a lifestyle he liked: one of freelance crime and terrorism. He doesn't like to join a mafia like Team Rocket, but rather be a free spirit and follow his heart. Kidd and Sundance tell Sir Kenneth that they have defected from Team Rocket and are freelancers and free spirits as well, and he says he admires that. When told to free his prisoners and turn to less unethical strategies like smuggling, they seal the deal with a handshake as a gentlemen's agreement and an agreement between free spirits. As they leave Wyndon, they get Sir Kenneth's card with the Yellow Pokéball and an invite to his estate in the Galarian countryside, just north of Ballonlea, for tea and croquet.

During the battle against Sir Kenneth in the warehouse, his grunt Basil (who looks and acts like John Cleese as Mr. Fawlty) pulls out a Quagsire, and his femme fatale Sybil (who looks and acts like Prunella Scales as Mrs. Fawlty), pulls out a Salazzle. They're both old thespian friends of Sir Kenneth's who have followed him into his new lifestyle. Freya's crippling newt phobia kicks in (this happens post-Levincia). She is frozen in place at first, then curls up and mutters: "No no no... NOT the NEWTS... No splashing... Danger... Red alert... Red alert... Levincia... Levincia... Please don't shoot me..." It is then that Kidd and Sundance are made aware of her newt phobia and what kickstarted it. "ANYTHING but the NEWTS... Sundance, put me in a POKÉBALL..." Usually Freya stays out in the open and steers clear of Pokéballs, wearing the cutest of yellow raincoats and boots when the weather is foul (Sundance wears a mint green and Kidd a cobalt blue rain ensemble), but this time she chooses the lesser of two evils and lets Sundance put her in the ball (when asked about the inside of it later, she replies she was "as snug as a Charjabug in a plaid rug!"). Sundance fights and wins a tag battle against the Thenardiéresque couple with Odin the one-eyed Corviknight and Hela the Mimikyu.

 (This arc is a reference to The Yellow M in Blake & Mortimer!).

Later on they return to Levincia and find an aloof stray male Sprigatito on the waterfront, which Sundance catches and names Loki. Now the Nagelfar has two ship's cats, one of whom being grass-type doesn't need a raincoat, and Freya is at first jealous of Loki for all the attention he gets, yet as he opens up to the crew, humans and Pokémon alike, he gradually falls in love with Freya, to the point of the two of them kissing at a rainy sunset when he's a Meowscarada. Loki's zodiac sign is Gemini and his enneatype is Seven as well. He is very curious and gradually learns human speech, like Freya did, until he is fluent as a Floragato...

PREHISTORIC PARK

After Loki the Sprigatito has joined the crew, when the crew of the Nagelfar are in Hulbury by the Galarian Channel resting and having some ice cream, they win some sweepstakes to visit Prehistoric Park on Ettinborough Island in warmer waters (Paldean waters, something like the Canary Islands), the personal haven of old Professor David Ettinborough, of GBC (Galarian Broadcasting Corporation) fame as a Pokémon documentary narrator, where he has gathered all known fossil Pokémon, all brought back to life in the same lush volcanic paradise. 

The crew of the Nagelfar sail to Ettinborough Island and are warmly welcomed by the charming old Professor with Pinap coladas under the abundant plant life (though Sundance would have preferred stout or Agua de Levincia, and Loki and Freya would have preferred cream). He also shows them around, the jeeps, and his own car the Ledybug (looks like a VW Bug and is red with spots like a Ledyba). They ride the Ledybug and he introduces them to the prehistoric Pokémon around the island, several of which have got proper names, including a massive female Tyrantrum called Li'l Ty.

After dark, the pollen in the flowers of the night-blooming Vileplumes mixed with Loki's scent makes all the prehistoric Pokémon go berserk. They all chase Professor Ettinborough and the crew of the Nagelfar, who drive around in the Ledybug from the watchtower to the bungalow (Kidd as co-pilot, Sundance, Loki, and Freya in the backseat). Li'l Ty puts the Ledybug in her mouth and tries to eat the car, passengers and all! Suddenly Loki picks up a hand grenade that the Professor kept in the backseat in case of emergency in his mouth as if it were some kind of berry. It gives Sundance and Freya the bright idea to open the window and, pulling out the pin, throw the grenade down the Tyrantrum's throat into her esophagus. It works: Li'l Ty spits the car out.

At their temporary home, the prehistoric Pokémon lay siege to the bungalow in the night. Professor Ettinborough finds out that it is the unfamiliar scent of Sprigatito that is driving them into a frenzy. They all calm down and break the siege, sure enough, as soon as Kidd sprays Loki with his men's deodorant.

The next day, the crew says a very fond farewell to the Professor and to his prehistoric zoo, including to Li'l Ty, apologizing for giving her a very sore throat!

DAWN OF THE SURT

After visiting Ettinborough Island, the crew of the Nagelfar learn through the Galar Times of a berserk shiny Charizard, a male by the looks of it, terrorising the countryside in Compshire and Ballonlea. Kidd fears for his mother's safety, while Sundance wishes to catch the fiery black behemoth and call him Surt.

As they reach the shire, they find Kate's cottage under siege by the black 'Zard fighting Basil and his Quagsire, and Sybil and her Salazzle. Freya's newt phobia kicks in again, while Kidd and Sundance send Odin, Thor, and Hela to defend the cottage and help the shiny Charizard against Sir Kenneth's henchpeople. In the heat of battle, Loki overwhelms the newt Pokémon with his sweet scent. The crew of the Nagelfar win, make friends with the Charizard before catching him, heal him at the village Pokémon Centre, and call him Surt. They then spend the night with a dessert of trifle at Kate's, room and board and breakfast, and decide to look for megastones, Charizardites X, to power up their new friend, across the Channel in Kalos, unaware that Basil and Sybil are spying and eavesdropping...

Meanwhile at the Reform Club in Wyndon...

SIR KENNETH: All right... So Surt, like the lava giant who will start Ragnarök... And Charizardites... Only one jewellery shop, the Stone Emporium in Lumiose, has them at great expense. Basil! Sybil! I need you two in Lumiose ASAP. Follow those whippersnappers and that shiny Charizard. Surely we live in interesting times...

MEGASTONE QUEST

Having crossed the Galarian Channel to Laverre in Kalos, our friends moor the Nagelfar at port and hire their land vehicle in Kalos, the Vespi: a yellow Vespa with a sidecar, striped like a Vespiquen and even with a headlight like the red hexagonal ruby on the Vespiquen's forehead. Sundance rides the Vespi with Freya on her shoulders, Kidd on her sidecar and Loki on his shoulders. We have been with them to Kalos and seen Laverre and the Vespi and Lumiose and Aunt Louise and lodged in her penthouse before, after the first visit to Levincia and before the Yellow Pokéball in Wyndon.

Once back in Lumiose, the crew of the Nagelfar lodge in Louise's penthouse again. She informs them that the only place in all of Kalos where you can find a Charizardite X (in fact, any Charizardites) is the Stone Emporium in Lumiose itself, not far from the Prism Tower, but that the gems in that jewellery shop are very pricey. The next day, after a breakfast of coffee, croissants, and Oran Berry juice, the crew plus Louise head off to the Stone Emporium to purchase three Charizardites X for Sundance to wear in a Thor's hammer. The jeweller René (who looks like René Artois) says that each Charizardite costs 100,000. Now where to get 300,000 ASAP? Aunt Louise suggests that Kidd, Sundance, Freya, and Loki model for her haute couture runway that weekend at the foot of the Prism Tower! Even though Freya and Sundance are at first reluctant, they decide, coaxed by Louise's Chirac-like agent Jacques, to wear the emerald green and orange avant-garde gown and the shocking pink kitty couture. Loki looks lovely in black and Kidd in cobalt and white, while Louise wears a cyan mermaid tail gown.

But on the runway, whom do they find modelling as well but SIR KENNETH, dressed in a snazzy salmon pink brocade suit (looking every bit like Gilderoy Lockhart!). His spies in Lumiose, Basil and Sybil, had informed him of the fashion show, and he has his own modelling agency, being an aristocrat! And he has brought his own pet model Gilderoy, an INTELEON in a white brocade suit and top hat, to the runway! Freya cannot model, she is frozen in place by the highest epitome of her newt phobia, but thankfully Kidd moves her around the runway like a puppet and saves the show!

A Pokémon Battle takes place after the fashion show: Surt, Odin, Thor, Frey, Loki, and Hela all curbstomp the three newt Pokémon of Sir Kenneth and his cronies. In the end, they say farewell, the noble saying that he was just putting them to the test and that they will get stronger the next time...

SIR KENNETH: I cannot wait to see what you do with your megastones...

Having raised their 300,000 the crew heads on Monday to the Stone Emporium, and René mounts the three Charizardites X into the Thor's hammer, that Sundance wears around her neck.

RENÉ: So you have a shiny Charizard called Surt... Pretty meaningful name, right? These gems are costly and full of power. Use them only when you need them the most.

SUNDANCE: I will (right hand on heart).

They take their leave of Aunt Louise, get on the Vespi, return up north to the Channel, buy provisions, and set sail once more for new adventures...

Surt the shiny Charizard is a Scorpio and an Eight on the Enneagram. He is quite protective of the people and Pokémon he loves, which now means the crew of the Nagelfar and formerly meant the forest of Compshire (he tried to torch the cottages because some careless young Wyndoners had littered in the woods). You mess with Surt, you get burned literally.

AN ENCHANTED EVENING

While exploring an islet on the Galarian Channel, Kidd and Sundance find buried Viking gold treasures where Freya and Loki were digging to bury their excrements. After trading their ancient gold to Laverre Museum in Northern Kalos for a small fortune in contemporary money, the crew of the Nagelfar decide to spend it on a little soirée. Sundance and Kidd have always wanted to watch a live opera. At the Ópera de Levincia they are giving Othello, a Drakespearean opera, so why not set sail for Paldea, eat a good traditional lunch and supper washed down with good drinks, spend the evening there, and watch the Levincian modern skyline, with its waterfront and riverbed futuristic architecture, shining brightly at night, one of the famous Ten Sights of Paldea? Everyone agrees.

After mooring in the Port of Levincia, everyone is starving. Both humans are sharply dressed in their gentlemen's suits from the Reform Club in Wyndon. First stop: a pet-friendly restaurant near the Museo de Ciencias. Corphish paella with crispy socarrat on the bottom, Agua de Levincia for the humans, and agua de fuente for Loki and Freya. Artazon nougat ice cream for dessert for everyone (Artazon, south of Levincia, is a locality famous for its Navidad nougats and ice cream, not to mention dollmaking). The meal is delicious.

First Kidd and Sundance go buy the tickets for the opera, but they have five hours until the show begins: enough to enjoy the Museo de Ciencias and the Paseo de los Arbotantes. First they decide to visit the Science Museum, since the Promenade is on the way to the Ópera de Levincia.

At the Museo, with Loki and Freya in the Pokéballs (they will stay there for a while) there is a Foucault's Pendulum, a huge model of a DNA molecule, and a hatchery called "La Maravilla de la Vida" hatching many diverse Pokémon eggs in three incubators, which draws many families with children: couples of lesbian mothers, single dads, interracial couples... Kidd and Sundance watch a Happiny and a Wynaut hatch. There is also a huge interactive colour-coded periodic table which keeps them busy for a while. Pushing each element tile gives you the element's name and atomic number in Galarian, Paldean, and Kalosian, for example: "Hydrogen, atomic number one. Hidrógeno, número atómico uno. Hydrogène, numéro atomique un". They keep on pushing tiles of the elements and watching eggs hatch and watching the Pendulum swing.

After three and a half hours at the Museo de Ciencias, Kidd and Sundance leave for the Paseo de Arbotantes. The Promenade leading to the Ópera de Levincia is covered with flying buttresses and filled with exotic plants and grass-type Pokémon like Tropiuses, Alolan Exeggutors, Bellossoms, and Lilligants. Here they free Loki and Freya so they can enjoy the Paseo, but the cats will be back in their Pokéballs at the opera since no pets are allowed there. Kidd also refreshes Sundance's memories about Othello:

"So Othello is this general who is happily married to the lovely Desdemona, but whom Honest Iago, his assistant, poisoned against her by making him believe that she is having an affair with young Cassio. And he believes in the ruse. I give no spoilers, but the ending is Drakespearean indeed!"

He also tells Sundance that the opera will be in Galarian with surtitles in Paldean (in fact, the lyrics are Miss Dermark's Verdian Othello, on this blog, with all animal and idiom references Pokémonised!)

As they enter the Ópera de Levincia, which resembles a huge starship ready to take off, they encounter Santiago, their architect friend, who having designed the Opera House gets a VIP pass to see operas and is very fond of bel canto himself. They greet each other before taking their seats.

When the opera is staged, the singers in Victorian or nineteenth-century clothing, who isn't singing with the spotlight on, singing in an ominous baritone, plying young Lieutenant Cassio with strong drink, pouring poison into Othello's ears, but SIR KENNETH once more, starring as Honest Iago? What a surprise!

IAGO: I believe in a cruel god,

who made us Primeapes in his own image so odd...

From a filthy infectious 

germ and the soil-dust 

I was created;

I'm reprobate, due to

human affections...

honour's and virtues' striving I mock indeed!

Yes... that's my very own creed!

...

COMMONERS (to Desdemona):

Where your starry eyes look,

hearts are set on fire...

Where you walk, the ground blooms

and nothing looks dire...

'Midst Lilligants and Roserades,

in maiden shrine's ring,

parents, children, spouses

gather here to sing.

...

OTHELLO (dying, coughing up blood, to Desdemona's form as he caresses her):

Right ere I killed you... dear... I kissed you thrice...

Now... plunging into darkness...

how much I miss you...

I kiss you...

(He kisses her cold lips.)

I kiss you once more...

(He gives her a second kiss...)

Ah... die on the third kiss...

(He kisses her for the third time, breathing his last into her suffocated airways, to rise up nevermore.)

By the end of the opera, when Othello has stabbed himself and died on the third kiss, bleeding out and kissing thrice the beloved wife he stifled in a jealous rage, Sundance is sobbing and drying up her tears, while a single drop runs down Kidd's left cheek, ere both clap their hands at the curtain call.

As they sit down at the Opera Hous.e's Restaurante Contrapunto for a supper of Lechonk ham, Malamar rings with Sitrus Berry juice, and sour cream and chive vol-au-vents, all washed down with cava, who doesn't come to sit by their side but Sir Kenneth? May I, as a good frenemy, please? 

KIDD: Of course. You were always a worthy opponent at our Pokémon battles, so why not?

SUNDANCE: And you were brilliant as Honest Iago. You stole the show this evening. And at the end you disappeared for the Law not to seize you!

KENNETH: Thank you very much indeed, my dear frenemies. In fact, I missed the applause, the spotlight, the challenge of having to play someone who is not who he is, who is someone different depending on whom he is with. Not even the thespian or the baritone who plays him gets to know the REAL Iago. Camarero, otra botella de cava y una copa para mí, por favor.

Santiago also joins their table at the Contrapunto and shares their tapas and cava.

All four share their tapas and some lively conversation in Galarian for two hours.

KENNETH: I love it when the villains escape unscathed at the end, because that means chaos never dies...

They all have horchata cremoso (crêmeux in Paldean) for dessert and toast with cava to long frenmity. Sir Kenneth pays for everyone's supper except Santiago's, to everyone's surprise, and the crew of the Nagelfar thank him very much.

After Sundance and Kidd escort Sir Kenneth and his three bodyguards to his five-star hotel, they free Loki and Freya and get to a lookout point on a hill in the riverbed where they can see the whole futuristic architecture skyline shining at midnight, and they take a few photos, before they return to the waterfront and sleep snug as Charjabugs in plaid rugs in their bunks on the Nagelfar.

The next day, on to the next quests or adventures...

Déjà-vu anyone?

The idea of two good at heart people of different looks and personalities, one of them smarter and the other more sensual, and their team pet, going on far-flung quests and adventures in different places and meeting a colourful core secondary cast, is taken from Franco-Belgian graphic novels. Kidd is Astérix or Tintin. Sundance is a female Obélix or Haddock. Freya is a talking kitty version of Idéfix or Milou/Snowy. Who didn't love these graphic novels as a kid or teen (and maybe does still in adulthood)? The idea of giving them a boat and making them pirates was so that they could take their home with them wherever they went. The stereotypes of British tourists abroad I play with are also tinkered with in Witches Abroad by the legendary Sir Terry Pratchett.

THE WILD HUNT

While sailing from the East Province of Paldea to Kalos, the crew of the Nagelfar get the news by phone that Goodwife Maeve, in a certain Crown Tundran village, is very ill in a coma and about to die. So off they go to the Crown Tundra once more (they have already met Sundance's family), to inquire about Sundance's granny's health. However, when they arrive, Maeve is already deceased and the whole village of Freezington, including her daughter Rhiannon and son-in-law Temuera and Mort the mortician, is having the funeral. Furthermore, the goodwife has died on Samhain night, and her last words were: "Death is the next big quest... Don't wait for me, Owen, I'm coming!"

During the funeral, Sundance meets with her parents again and shares the mourning. Rhiannon is devastated for having lost her beloved mother, and both Temuera and Sundance try to reassure her. After the funeral, Kidd is surprised by Sundance's explanation that everyone in the Crown Tundra and Isle of Armour goes to the pub instead of home after funerals to shake off ectoplasm from evil spirits. That evening he chooses to accompany Sundance and her parents, with Freya and Loki in tow, to the local pub "The Headless Rider." Once there, everyone except the Meowth drinks stout in the light of jack o' lanterns, and Temuera and Rhiannon praise Kidd as their worthy in-law, after some conversation. He claims that he is only Sundance's friend, and Sundance and Freya and Loki agree. 

Rhiannon is still wistful when a great racket is heard outside. Everyone goes out to the door to see a huge parade of ghost- and dark- type Pokémon matching down the streets of Freezington, led by a dullahan with a jack o' lantern head riding Spectrier... But riding sidesaddle behind him is the ghost of a familiar old lady. Ghost Maeve waves for her family to join her, and they do. So do Kidd and Freya and Loki.

"My dear girl... Rhiannon... You too, Temuera, and you, my darling young Sundance... Now I am part of the Wild Hunt, together forever with Owen and Spectrier... I will follow them every Samhain night, and then I shall pass by the home of those I hold dear... I shall not tarry, for the Wild Hunt has got lands to ride through..."

As the Wild Hunt rides away, Sundance's parents dry up their tears and the girl herself also gets all teared up. The next day, Rhiannon announces her plans to find an apprentice as the next goodwife, but she also has an errand for her daughter and her friends to help her as a goodwife:

"Could you sail to the East Province of Paldea and find me some Salty Herba Mystica for arthritis potions? It grows on the hills north of Levincia..." is Rhiannon's request. Embracing her goodbye, Sundance agrees to find her the ingredient she requests.

QUEST FOR THE HERBA MYSTICA

After mooring the Nagelfar in Levincia, our crew head up north to find the Salty Herba Mystica, though not before buying a map of the East Province in town to locate the secret ingredient easier. The old man who sells them the map at an open-air market warns them, however, that the Salty Herba Mystica is guarded by a fearsome Pokémon who has already consumed a lot of it...

Up north in Area Three of the East Province, in a hilly land with the ruins of a small castle, near the mountain village of Zapapico, the crew of the Nagelfar follow the map to the hills where the Salty Herba Mystica grows, but before they reach the hills there is a sudden earthquake and sandstorm, shocking Sundance, Kidd, Freya, and Loki, and then Sundance almost falls into the gaping mouth of a gargantuan Orthworm that was surfacing like a Sarlacc out of the ground.

Everyone makes a dash for the Castle to keep themselves safe, guessing the oversized Orthworm was the Pokémon in the map seller's warning. Once in the fortress ruins, Kidd consults the map book and they all learn this Orthworm is male and called the Lurking Steel Titan, and he became this size and strength by consuming Salty Herba Mystica. He can use Iron Tail, Headbutt, Wrap, and Sandstorm.

Suddenly the Lurking Steel Titan makes a dash for the Castle. The crew of the Nagelfar see no way out but battle; this Orthworm is quite territorial and wants no intruders to take his prized Salty Herba Mystica. Odin, Thor, Frey, and Hela are soon left out of commission by the Titan, and now the gargantuan Orthworm is fighting Surt on equal terms, and suffocating the shiny Charizard with Wrap. It is then that, seeing all hope lost, Sundance decides to use her first Charizardite X and makes Surt mega-evolve. Mega Charizard X Surt breaks free from the Lurking Steel Titan's constraints and thoroughly torches him. Then the Titan shrinks in size to that of a regular Orthworm.

After healing their Pokémon at the Centre in Zapapico, the crew of the Nagelfar makes their way to the hills where the Salty Herba Mystica grows, and Kidd and Sundance fill their satchels with the wonderful herb. Suddenly Thor eats some of the Salty Herba Mystica and becomes able to leap incredibly high. Loki also tries the herb and not only becomes able to jump at dizzying heights, but also evolves into Floragato and becomes fluent in human languages.

Back in Freezington in the Crown Tundra, Rhiannon and Temuera take the Herba Mystica but not all of it. They advise their daughter and her friends to keep some Salty Herba Mystica at hand in case they need it. With some Salty Herba Mystica in their satchels, Sundance and Kidd, Freya and Loki, all take their leave of Sundance's parents for the moment and set sail for new adventures...

why after lützen (efter lützen) is a promising ficseries

You already know from El semen de los ahorcados that Courfeyrac had an ancestor who fought in the Thirty Years' War (and whom he dressed up as for a masquerade -  before the rewrite, in which Courf dresses as Puss in Boots instead). Well, his story is about to be expanded upon, as a StrixAlluka 30YW AU with the Amis as Swedish Army deserters turned guerrilla soldiers of fortune is underway. It will be in Swedish and called "Efter Lützen". Enj is Prussian landed gentry and R a Moor by way of Marseille (Schönherr Engelhart and Razi/René)... most of the cast will remain French though with a few more exceptions (Musichetta, Leslie - Lesgle, Joellll - Jolllly)... Furthermore, Gustavus Adolphus will play the role Napoleon played in canon Les Mis!

The idea or bunny came partly from that reference to the musketeer Baron de Courfeyrac in El semen, partly from a mention of Lützen in Les Misérables canon, Colonel Pontmercy having fought in the Napoleonic battle. But I could not shake the idea of the 30YW battle off my head and wondered what if Les Mis had been set in that period and all the Amis sans Marius had been killed in that seventeenth-century war. And of course Colonel Pontmercy would have fought in a Swedish-French alliance and been killed at Lützen...

Schönherr Engelhart and Jules Combeferre + Hercule-Joffrey de Courfeyrac. There you have the rittmeister and his two lieutenants respectively, who keep the ranks they held in the Swedish military. The young Prussian of the landed gentry and his French teacher's son, who has a plan to sort out all flora and fauna a century before Linnaeus, both joined the Swedish military in their late adolescence in order to fight for freedom of worship. The young Gascon baron and lieutenant of musketeers came to the heart of Europe as an envoy to the Swedish camp, representing the Cardinal (Richelieu), with a certain Moor by way of Marseille (R, aka Razi, aka René) for a valet (and cupbearer, and squire...).

Razi (René), the Moor who never has laid eyes on his parents' birthplace of Castellón, started out with his widowed mother Miriam (Marie) on the docks of Marseille; her husband having been killed in a street fight on those same docks. He became a petty servant in Courfeyrac's entourage, and then the Baron's confidant, thanks to circumstances beyond his control

The Álvarez (actually Thénardier) family - camp followers, confidence tricksters, and corpse plunderers, whose wagon home can always be found when an engagement has just taken place. Cosette's former guardians, who pretend to be Spanish nobles (according to the Thénardiers themselves, he's from Barcelona ---Fawlty Towers reference!--- and she's from Santiago de Compostela). Éponine alone, their firstborn, is not supporting this elaborate confidence trick; unlike her younger siblings Azelma and Gavroche - although the latter joins Engelhart's company alongside his eldest sister, as per canon

Cosette, Marius, and Valjean "the snowy owl..." Innocent orphan adolescent Fantine was, in this era, ravaged by a thirtyish officer when her home village was raided; she entrusted her daughter to the Thénardiers just like in canon for the same reasons and became a worker in a uniform cloth factory in Wallenstein's province of Friedland, with Valjean for an overseer - his backstory is also just like in canon (older sister and fatherless nephews, bread theft, prisoner camp... lock stock and barrel - only sans kindly bishop and with Wallenstein instead).

Musichetta - here she is a North Italian (Ferrarese) opera singer who was soubrette until a while ago to fairytale collector and primadonna her southern friend Adriana Basile (who compiled the Pentamerone alongside her brother Giambattista!). Not long ago, they parted ways when she decided to move up north into the war torn heart of Europe with the half of the company that preferred opera buffa to opera seria - in order to bring smiles to the regions with commedia-dell'arte style plots and gags.

CIEL RENTRE À PARIS?

Kirakira Precure à la Mode
My Own Review - Episode 37

CIEL RENTRE À PARIS?

The thorough Samhain decoraitons even feature a vampire garçon (though I think, IMOHO, that Akira should don some make-up to appear far paler).

Ciel has just made this pumpkin cream... the best part is the sugar thread lace...
doesn't it look really professional?








The apple in the middle is a jack o'lantern!

Having criticised Ciel’s sweets without even trying them, Madame Solène then takes a look around Ciel’s shop. She isn’t exactly filled with praise for it, either.

In my headcanon, Solène is a portmanteau of her full name, Solange-Hélène.

She has come to take Ciel back to Paris... wondering why she has chosen this provincial town in the hinterland of an Asian island nation...

But if she wants to take Ciel back to la Ville Lumière, 

Solène will first have to pass over a dead Bilberry.




Luckily, our bifauxnen leader and our hardcore rocker are right there to restrain a warp-spasming reformed PFM in the nick of time.












Aoi's duh face. Even more with Solène's and the highschoolers'.

Ciel does some martial arts to prove Ichigozaka local colour.

Solène is not amused.



Maybe the sight of her ward drenched in perspiration has set her off.


The shopping district of Ichigozaka is not even second to the Champs-Élysées.


Well, Solène: la calle Enmedio in Castellón is not even second to the Champs-Élysées either.








AKIRA: ...but the people here are warm-hearted and kind!!
(Akira taking a stand for the fruit and veg shop, and for all of Ichigozaka... that's my leader...)




YUKARI: Pourquoi Paris? For the cosmopolitanism, or some other good reason?


SOLÈNE: If she stops here in Ichigozaka, her dreams, her hopes, will never come true.

Yukari inquires as to why it has to be Paris. The reason is that Paris will provide a world-class stage for Ciel. We then get a flashback showing us when Madame Solène first discovered Ciel’s talents.

Mon Trésor (Poe reference!), the Left Bank pâtisserie where Ciel once worked.

The queue outside Mon Trésor is outright called "la Seine!"

***Flashback to Paris a few years before***

Solène initially asked Jean-Pierre, but he turned her down

Solène et Jean-Pierre

Ciel just happened to be present at that time, and that was when Solène invited her to come along with her. Ciel accepted.
Sometime after that, Ciel just disappeared from Paris, from France, from Europe – that was when she arrived in Ichigozaka, right across the globe. Solène has sought her out because the World Pâtisserie Contest will be held in Paris. Hearing that has the girls start feeling down, and even question why Ciel chose to be with them.

BILBERRY: You don't need to act like a goody-two-shoes. You're free to do as you please.




CIEL: Thank you, Bilberry!!

All of the girls seem to be worried about what Ciel’s future holds, including Ciel herself. Fortunately, Ciel has someone to give her some advice – which is to simply do what she wants. To follow her heart.

BILBERRY: I... am not encouraging you...!! It's so foolish...
Tsundere attitude confirmed. And she's also that flustered for a good reason.

Anyways, Ciel cheers up and she makes it clear that she doesn’t intend to go to Paris.

Just in time for Elysio to show up and stain a jack o'lantern in darkness...

PARFAIT ÉTOILE!

The battle plays out as you’d expect, except this pumpkin monster is able to split apart. Its lower half (torso) crashes down on Custard, Gelato, and --most relevantly-- Macaron and Chocolat, which distracts Parfait.

Like Atlas, our OTP now has to shoulder the weight of the heavenly vault -or the more mundane Samhain counterpart thereof-.

Elysio binds Parfait down while her attention is elsewhere.

Parfait falls to the ground, where Elysio stares and glares for a while – it cuts back and forth between the two opposing sides. Turns out the other Cures aren’t defeated yet, either.

GO CHOCOLAT!! ALLEZ ALLEZ!! Look at how much of a strain... the younger teens appear to take it far worse... not to mention Macaron... GO CHOCOLAT!! IT'S JUST A HOLLOW PUMPKIN, NO MATCH FOR YOUR STRENGTH AT ALL!

Following which, Macaron Julienne is used to break Parfait's ties.

Cure Gelato plays some Smashing Pumpkins with those radass ice boxing gloves, and then the finishing move is deployed as usual. With the monster of the week defeated, Elysio retreats. After that, the girls get back to making sweets.

In true Proust style (also, Ratatouille the Pixar film revisits the same scene from À la recherche du temps perdu), Solène's first spoonful of pumpkin pudding...




...triggers memories of her youth in the Rhône Valley countryside.


SOLÈNE: Oh la vache! Have you even used French butter?

Madame Solène tries the pumpkin pudding, and she loves it. Ciel then tells her that she learned consideration for the people she makes sweets for, and that she shows Solène the heights she can fly to as a pâtissière.

Madame Solène accepts that answer, though she suggests that Ciel should participate in the contest with the KiraPâti.

All Elysio can do is look on and wait, and bid his time.
Unlike his partner, Elysio is all sang-froid.

We end with a glimpse of the pitiable state Glaive has reduced Diaval to.

The plot definitely thickens...

Especially with the Glaivemobile becoming a Werewolf (better than a Jaguar, right)?

EPILOGUE: BACKSTORY / RETURN TO PARIS (FROM THE FILM)

Jean-Pierre lecturing the twins


Kirarin and Pikalio


When Kirarin became Ciel for the first time.












That attire Yukari and Akira are donning as they stroll along the Left Bank.
They look like straight out of a classic film...
Really cements the fact that my OTP is canon.

MY OWN HUMBLE OPINION:
That wraps up episode 37, and it was certainly predictable – but it’s a pretty common thing you’ll see in anime. A character looks like they’ll have to leave, but they don’t in the end. A bit like when Ami was to leave for Berlin in Sailor Moon R...
The main plot itself is nothing new since we have seen it in so many shows, of how one character got an offering to chase their dream in a foreign land but because of his/her commitment to her friends (nakama), s/he can't go and the others questioned themselves are they holding that person back.
It's a dead horse plot. But still interesting especially with Solène's dynamics with the KiraPâti staff. A bit like when Fawlty Towers gets visits from psychoanalysts/Germans/Yanks/Lord Melbury... or a guest dies, or the health inspector comes. The way the dead horse premise was carried out is refreshing and reminds me of Fawlty Towers, especially with a tsundere Bilberry in the role of Mr. Fawlty (another refreshing note). Another thing that makes this episode interesting is how the highschoolers questioned hanging around with our prodigy. But especially the battle and how it goes from the Cures -especially the highschoolers- shouldering the weight of it all à la Atlas... to a succession of left and right hooks so powerful and so impressive that a Smashing Pumpkins pun was definitely mandatory. #AoiApproved reference!
Also, the Proust moment. THE PROUST MOMENT. Most people who have seen Ratatouille don't recognise the same memory-triggering flavour experience as a literary allusion. To one of the most iconic opening scenes in French literary history:

Et tout d’un coup le souvenir m’est apparu. Ce goût, c’était celui du petit morceau de madeleine que le dimanche matin à Combray (parce que ce jour-là je ne sortais pas avant l’heure de la messe), quand j’allais lui dire bonjour dans sa chambre, ma tante Léonie m’offrait après l’avoir trempé dans son infusion de thé ou de tilleul. La vue de la petite madeleine ne m’avait rien rappelé avant que je n’y eusse goûté ; peut-être parce que, en ayant souvent aperçu depuis, sans en manger, sur les tablettes des pâtissiers, leur image avait quitté ces jours de Combray pour se lier à d’autres plus récents ; peut-être parce que, de ces souvenirs abandonnés si longtemps hors de la mémoire, rien ne survivait, tout s’était désagrégé ; les formes — et celle aussi du petit coquillage de pâtisserie, si grassement sensuel sous son plissage sévère et dévot — s’étaient abolies, ou, ensommeillées, avaient perdu la force d’expansion qui leur eût permis de rejoindre la conscience. Mais, quand d’un passé ancien rien ne subsiste, après la mort des êtres, après la destruction des choses, seules, plus frêles mais plus vivaces, plus immatérielles, plus persistantes, plus fidèles, l’odeur et la saveur restent encore longtemps, comme des âmes, à se rappeler, à attendre, à espérer, sur la ruine de tout le reste, à porter sans fléchir, sur leur gouttelette presque impalpable, l’édifice immense du souvenir.

Et dès que j’eus reconnu le goût du morceau de madeleine trempé dans le tilleul que me donnait ma tante (quoique je ne susse pas encore et dusse remettre à bien plus tard de découvrir pourquoi ce souvenir me rendait si heureux), aussitôt la vieille maison grise sur la rue, où était sa chambre, vint comme un décor de théâtre s’appliquer au petit pavillon donnant sur le jardin, qu’on avait construit pour mes parents sur ses derrières (ce pan tronqué que seul j’avais revu jusque-là) ; et avec la maison, la ville, la Place où on m’envoyait avant déjeuner, les rues où j’allais faire des courses depuis le matin jusqu’au soir et par tous les temps, les chemins qu’on prenait si le temps était beau. Et comme dans ce jeu où les Japonais s’amusent à tremper dans un bol de porcelaine rempli d’eau de petits morceaux de papier jusque-là indistincts qui, à peine y sont-ils plongés s’étirent, se contournent, se colorent, se différencient, deviennent des fleurs, des maisons, des personnages consistants et reconnaissables, de même maintenant toutes les fleurs de notre jardin et celles du parc de M. Swann, et les nymphéas de la Vivonne, et les bonnes gens du village et leurs petits logis et l’église et tout Combray et ses environs, tout cela qui prend forme et solidité, est sorti, ville et jardins, de ma tasse de thé.

Next time, we get the pet-centric episode... Pekorin finally becomes human, though she's only a toddler (obviously), and the Cures have to sit her. Hope something more interesting happens across enemy lines, since Glaive has practically drained Diaval like a shot of dark werewolf liquor... Elysio has a reason to worry, definitely... is there some struggle for power, and will it come through after the introduction of human Pekorin?

IN NEXT EPISODE (38):

The spotlight falls on Pekorin; we see new plots unfurl

as our team pet becomes a most adorable li'l girl...

The Cures will have to sit her for a while, but what's exciting

is how this subplot on Glaive's power-up will uplift the fighting...