LIKE A WEE WOMAN (PURRA UT ALEMÁN PART 2)

So this is a follow-up to PURRA UT ALEMÁN! in which I made this out of more funny misheard lyrics from my childhood and adolescence:

1: Karma Commedia

Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon
You come and go, you come and go

Misheard as:

Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma commedia
You come and go, you come and go

Why?

Slurred pronunciation that rendered that L as a D and familiarity with commedia dell'arte

2: Red golden dreams

Karma Chameleon, Culture Club

Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams

Red, gold, and green, red, gold, and green

Misheard as:

Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dreams

Red, golden dreams, red, golden dreams

Why?

He'd already said 'dreams' in the previous stanza and as a kid I was used to 'golden dreams' (sueños de oro, in Spanish)

3: Money for nothing and chips for free

Money For Nothing, Dire Straits

Money for nothing and chicks for free

Misheard as:

Money for nothing and chips for free

Why?

Didn't know what the slang term 'chick' meant back in those days. Also, my oral fixation and thirst for calories...

4: Like a wee woman

Money For Nothing, Dire Straits

We've got to install microwave ovens

Misheard as:

We've got to instill like a wee woman

Why?

A mainstream group like Dire Straits won't sing about appliances, am I right? Plus I knew what 'wee' meant and means to the Scots...

5: Like a gay lover

Money For Nothing, Dire Straits

We've got to install microwave ovens

Misheard as:

We've got to instill like a gay lover

Why?

A mainstream group like Dire Straits won't sing about appliances, am I right? Plus I had tasted the sweet fujobait of CLAMP and Ikuhara, not to mention Greek myths, and was inured at 8-9 to queer culture...

6: That little fellow...

Money for Nothing, Dire Straits

See that little faggot with the earring and the make-up?

That's his own hair

That little faggot got his own jet aeroplane

that little faggot is a millionaire

Misheard as:

See that little fellow with the earring and the make-up?

That's his own hair

That little fellow got his own jet aeroplane

that little fellow is a millionaire

Why?

 I had tasted the sweet fujobait of CLAMP and Ikuhara, not to mention Greek myths, and was inured at 8-9 to queer culture... but I was completely unaware of the existance of queerphobic Anglo-Saxons and the slurs they used; my black-and-white kid mindset thought all Protestants were open-minded... (my khyber pass!)

7: Entre dos piernas estás (Between two legs you are)

Entre dos tierras, Héroes del Silencio

Entre dos tierras estás
Y no dejas aire 

que respirar

Misheard as:

Entre dos piernas estás
Y no dejas aire 

que respirar

Why?

I had never heard the lyrics until I found the song on YouTube, and I thought the singer said "piernas" (legs)  because I heard the song first as a late-teen and I was feeling randy... like if he was describing fellatio and not being able to breathe from sucking all the time...

8: It's floating slowly down the mantlepiece

Weather With You, Crowded House

Well there's a small boat made of china
It's going nowhere on the mantlepiece

Misheard as:

Well there's a small boat made of china
It's floating slowly down the mantlepiece

Why?

I just heard the lyrics on the radio and didn't had them on hand. Plus, as a flat-dwelling and not-used-to-firesides Spaniard, I did not exactly know what the heck a "mantlepiece" looked like as a child. So I had this mental image of the china boat sailing down a tablecloth throughout my childhood whenever I listened to this song (only now at 30 have I realised that the lyrics refer to THE POLAR OPPOSITE!)...

9: Con valor, Susvín culos rompió (With courage, Susvín ripped arses)

Marcha a Mi Bandera, Juan Chassaing

Cuando triste la Patria esclavizada
con valor, sus vínculos rompió

Misheard as:

Cuando triste a la Patria esclavizada
con valor, Susvín culos rompió

Why?

This misheard lyric military man is as popular in Argentina as the soldier Céféro in France (Entendez-vous dans nos campagnes mugir Céféro, ce soldat?) surely because it involves "culos", ie arses, keisters, derrières... you get the picture.

10: Lonely Starbucks Lovers

Blank Space, Taylor Swift

Got a long list of ex-lovers

Misheard as:

Gotta lonely Starbucks lovers

Why?

Every broken heart sure needs a cup of latte to drown its sorrows...

11: Aus den Wiesen steiget der weisse Neger Wumbaba (From the meadows rises the white Negro/Nigger Wumbaba) - Yeah, I know it sounds racist, but German kids mishear their word for fog or mist as their N word!

Abendlied, Matthias Claudius

Der Wald steht schwarz und schweiget,
und aus den Wiesen steiget
der weiße Nebel wunderbar.

Misheard as:

Der Wald steht schwarz und schweiget,
und aus den Wiesen steiget
der weiße Neger Wumbaba.

Why?

The Abendlied, literally Evening Song, is from the eighteenth century and part of the German literary canon; its register is too high for schoolchildren to understand and yet it is transmitted to them by word of mouth since generations. Germany has also had an African empire in the nineteenth century, which has shown in some old children's fiction like Fipps der Affe (Fipps the Monkey) and the story of the Black Lads in the Struwwelpeter... The end of the character name the word "wonderful" is misheard as also evokes Babar the elephant and barbarians, significantly!