CHRISTINA, GRANTAIRE, AND THE GREAT COMET OF 18**

This is just a crack AU; I made it under the influence of the hot sun, and I don't ship Daaétaire... Christaire... :'( but Chris*Raoul and Enjoltaire, obviously. The only canon pairing here is maybe Iassio...
So anyway it's a steampunk/gaslamp fantasy crossover filk (maybe an outright filk opera)... real people (mostly Queen Victoria), Les Mis, Shakespeare, Leroux... BTW, the Marianne who stars here is NOT the personification of France, but the fallen woman in Shakespeare's not-so-famous tragicomedy Measure for Measure, published at around the same time as Othello ;) (her name is most commonly rendered Mariana, but I altered it to fit the scansion!) oh, if I made her and Cassio siblings and Grantaire her husband and all that, blame the hot sun as well! BTW, Zéphine is here the Count de Chagny's mistress, in spite of being a plain jane in this AU, and they cohabit...


There's a war going on out there, somewhere...
And Raoul isn't here...
There's a war going on out there, somewhere...
And Raoul isn't here...
There's a war going on out there, somewhere...
And Raoul isn't here...

Ett-tu-tre!

This is all in your programme;
we are all at the opera,
you ought to have studied up a little bit
if you've got to keep with the plot...
This is a complicated crack crossover,
everyone's from one universe,
so please look it up in your programme,
we appreciate it thanks a lot,
da-da-da- da-da-da- da-da-dah...

Christina is young...
She loves Raoul with all her heart...

Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

Luna is (Love-)good,
Christina's roommate and closest friend...

Luna is good,
Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

Victoria is old-school, a grand widowed ruler,
Christina's guardian, and strict yet kind...

Victoria is old-school,
Luna is good,
Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

This is all in your programme;
we are all at the opera,
you ought to have studied up a little bit
if you've got to keep with the plot...
This is a complicated crack crossover,
everyone's from one universe,
so please look it up in your programme,
we appreciate it thanks a lot,
da-da-da- da-da-da- da-da-dah...

Cassio is HOT!!
He spends his money on women and wine...

Cassio is HOT,
Victoria is old-school,
Luna is good,
Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

Marianne is a SLUT!!
Cassio's half-sister, married to Grand'R...

Marianne is a SLUT,
Cassio is HOT,
Victoria is old-school,
Luna is good,
Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

Iago is FIERCE,
but not too important...
Cassio's friend, and a very good shot...

Iago is FIERCE,
Marianne is a SLUT,
Cassio is HOT,
Victoria is old-school,
Luna is good,
Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

Chandeliers and caviar,
THE WAR CAN'T TOUCH US HERE!!

--minor characters!--

Count Phil de Chagny is crazy,
and Zéphine is plain...
Raoul's family, totally messed up... (oh, that's an understatement...)
AND FRED WEASLEY'S JUST FOR FUN!!

Fred Weasley is FUN,
Philippe is CRAZY,
Zéphine is plain,
Iago is FIERCE,
Marianne is a SLUT,
Cassio is HOT,
Victoria is old-school,
Luna is good,
Christina is young,
and Raoul isn't here!

What about Grand'R?
Dear, bewildered, and awkward Grantaire...?
Wot about Grand'R?
Sarcastic, unhappily married Grantaire...
What about Grand'R?
What about Grand'R?
What about Grand'R?