So this filk opera is a retelling of Frozen as a RenLoras story, with a tragic ending instead of a happy one (obviously). The tragic, short life of Renly Baratheon set to the Frozen songs. The programme is the following:
Flaming Heart (red priests)
Do you want to roam the godswood? (Renly feat. Stannis)
For the first time in forever (Renly feat. Stannis)
Love is a rose in bloom (Renly/Loras)
Claim What's Yours (Stannis)
Sexy Hottie (House Tyrell as a whole)
I am much more than a tomboy (Brienne)
Knights of Summer (the Rainbow Guard as a whole)
Parley (Tragic Finale) Renly/Stannis
FLAMING HEART
Storm's End, during the wedding of Stannis and Selyse. Both are in their early teens, Renly is a toddler. Melisandre and some more red priests appear among the wedding guests.
PRIESTS OF THE LORD OF LIGHT:
Born of light and flame and good
and warm heart's blood united,
this blazing force, well understood,
will never be indicted.
So light the heart led astray,
light a flame and show the way,
never quench it, come what may,
of the good be part
and light the flaming heart!
Lord of Light! Lord of Light!
Shelter us from the night!
Lord of Light! Lord of Light!
Shelter us from the night!
Powerful, bright, light-bringing, warm!
The Lord has a magic that brings no harm!
Stronger than one, stronger than ten!
Stronger than 100 men!
Born of light and flame and good
and warm heart's blood united,
this blazing force, well understood,
will never be indicted.
So light the heart led astray,
light a flame and show the way,
never quench it, come what may,
of the good be part
and light the flaming heart...
DO YOU WANT TO ROAM THE GODSWOOD?
Storm's End is under Tyrell siege. Stannis has been promoted to older brother (since Robert's departure for the war front) and he is locked in his bedchamber or in the library doing his duties as Lord of Storm's End. A restless little eight- or nine-year-old Renly knocks on the door wistfully, looking for company, every now and then:
RENLY: Stannis?
Do you want to roam the godswood?
Come on, let's go and play!
I never see you anymore...
Come out the door!
It's like you've gone away!
We two used to be together,
and now we're not...
Oh, I wish you would tell me why!
Do you want to roam the godswood?
At least it's safe there in the godswood...
STANNIS: Go away, Renly! I don't have the time to...
RENLY: Okay, bye...
Storm's End is still under Tyrell siege. Stannis is still locked in his bedchamber or in the library doing his duties as Lord of Storm's End. A restless little Renly knocks on the door wistfully, looking for company, every now and then:
RENLY: Do you want to roam the godswood,
or ride a cockhorse 'round the halls?
I think some company is overdue,
with no one to talk to but tapestries on walls!
(To a tapestry of Lyonel Baratheon): Hang in there, Lyonel...
It gets a little lonely,
all these empty rooms,
since those green tents and ships are out there... (He looks out the parapets at the besieging host below.)
After a while, the starving garrison is fed with Davos's cargo, and Stannis comes out of his intrenchment to have a talk with their unexpected saviour. At the table, everyone is relieved.
RENLY: Stannis...
So, at last you've come out...
I was there asking where you'd been...
Promise I don't hate onions anymore,
and that's for sure...
but that host is still seen...
Stannis, we just have each other,
just you and me,
when will the host be gone?
Do you want to roam the godswood?
After a while, the Tyrell host has disappeared and the siege is broken. Robert returns from the wars and embraces Renly, overlooking Stannis, before leaving for King's Landing...
A DECADE LATER...
RENLY IS IN HIS LATE TEENS, STANNIS IN HIS LATE TWENTIES, SELYSE AS WELL
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER
We're still in Storm's End. Stannis is leaving for Dragonstone. Renly can't feel more excited:
RENLY: The window is open, so is that door,
the Fury stands on the docks still moored,
but it will sail off today, the folk relates!
For years I have roamed these empty halls,
where all attention on me falls...
Finally, they're opening up the gates!
There'll be new and unknown people,
and that stick-in-the-mud off will wend!
At last, all's yours, Renly! Claim Storm's End!
For the first time in forever,
there'll be pleasure since the war...
For the first time in forever,
I'll be more free than before!
I don't know why I feel so excited,
when the Stormlands are my own...
'cause, for the first time in forever...
I won't be alone!
I can't wait to learn to know everyone... what if I meet THE ONE?
Tonight, imagine me fully dressed,
the lands' other lords will be impressed,
the picture of sophisticated grace!
And then, I see someone standing there,
a beautiful stranger, tall and fair,
but in my hands I will not hide my face!
Then, we'll laugh and talk all evening,
into the middle of night,
then do something else by candle-light!
For the first time in forever,
there'll be magic, there'll be fun!
For the first time in forever,
I could fall in love with someone!
And I know I'll be branded a sinner
for the wrong kind of romance...
But, for the first time in forever,
at least I'll take a chance.
Stannis and Selyse are on the docks, boarding the Fury.
STANNIS: At last, I'll leave
for Dragonstone...
but why have I been assigned
this dreary fortress on my own?
Why did he get
our ancient lands?
Will they be safe in his
inexperienced hands?
But from Renly I'll be away...
RENLY: From Stannis I'm away...
STANNIS: We'll be worlds away...
RENLY: We'll be worlds away...
Tell the guards we're opening up the gates!
STANNIS: Tell the captain to unfurl the sails!
The Fury sails away north by northeast, towards Dragonstone.
RENLY: I know routine will set in,
so it has to be today...
'Cause, for the first time in forever...
Nothing's in my way!
LOVE IS A ROSE IN BLOOM
During the celebrations of his investment as Lord of the Stormlands, an evening later on, (in which Stannis and Selyse appear, but merely reading quietly in a corner), Renly meets a younger Reach boy who has been sent to become his squire. And, not surprisingly, he is also the youngest out of three brothers! Soon, both of them discover that they are more similar than they thought:
RENLY: Can I just say something crazy?
LORAS: Bring it on!
RENLY: I love you!
LORAS: And I love you too!
RENLY: As a child, my life was ruined by gold rose on green,
and, think, I would have a crush from the Reach...
LORAS: I was thinking the same!
For who could ever guess I'd find here my own place,
and maybe it's the party talking, or the wine, or this peach...
BOTH: But with you... But with you...
LORAS: I'll find my place...
RENLY: I'll see your face...
BOTH: And I'm heedless of those who'll speak of our doom!
Love is a rose in bloom!
Love is a rose in bloom!
Love is a rose in bloom!
Life is bereft of gloom
with you, with you,
with you, with you,
Love is a rose in bloom!
RENLY: I mean it's crazy...
we finish each other's...
LORAS: Sentences?
I've never met someone...
RENLY: ...who thinks so much like me!
BOTH: Never! In my life!
Our mental synchronisation
can have but one explanation:
You and I were just meant to be!
Say goodbye, say goodbye,
to the pain of the past:
we don't have to feel anymore that gloom!
Love is a rose in bloom!
Love is a rose in bloom!
Love is a rose in bloom!
Life is bereft of gloom
with you, with you,
with you, with you,
Love is a rose in bloom...
LORAS: Can I say something crazy?
Will you marry my sister to cover it?
RENLY: Can I say something even crazier?
Of course!
CLAIM WHAT'S YOURS
In the end, Stannis, incensed by seeing his younger brother flirting with a Reach boy (both male and from the Reach) grabs Selyse by the wrist and both of them run away off into the Fury. Back to Dragonstone.
STANNIS: It's moonless night on the ocean tonight,
and the lights still light Storm's End.
A kingdom of senseless revels,where I do not have a friend.
The sky is pitch black, like this shame I feel inside...
Can't put up with it, Seven know I've tried...
Don't let them e'er commit a sin,
be the good boy you always were within!
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know...
And why, of course?
Claim what's yours, claim what's yours,
what should have been yours by right!
Claim what's yours, claim what's yours,
SELYSE: And trust the Lord of Light...
STANNIS: That's how I am, and how I'll stay...
Let them celebrate!
The Seven never heard me anyway...
It's strange how the usurper
is someone so close to you,
but he's always been so childish,
and so easy to see through!
The Stormlands' reign is mine by right!
Why get this holdfast with nothing green in sight?
No woods, no spring, no love for me...
Why can it be?
Claim what's yours, claim what's yours!
Oh, I wish that he soon would die!
Claim what's yours, claim what's yours!
You'll ne'er see me smile or cry!
STANNIS: That's how I am, and how I'll stay...
Let him enjoy Storm's End...
SELYSE: Why do I cope better than you when we both bleed?
You are a freethinker, without belief in any creed!
Open your heart and mind now to the Lord of Light!
The only one True God, and thus, clear will be your sight!
STANNIS: Claim what's yours, claim what's yours,
in yourself and the Lord believe...
Claim what's yours, claim what's yours,
and let him still deceive!
For he'll know the truth when it is too late...
Let him still believe...
R'hllor will hear my prayers anyway!
FIVE YEARS OR SO LATER...
SEXY HOTTIE
At Highgarden, right before the wedding, with Brienne as the best lass and Loras as the best man, it's time for Renly to meet the in-laws, led by the elderly Queen of Thorns...
OLENNA: What's the issue now?
Why should she marry the Lord of Storm's End?
MACE: Is it the sexy way she walks?
ALERIE: Or the soft voice in which she talks?
WILLAS: Or her porcelain-white, perfect dainty feet?
MACE: And sure we know no common sellsword
could be the spouse of a Tyrell so...
OLENNA: So you've never met a maiden
who's as sensitive and sweet!
Yes, she's a bit of a sexy hottie,
though she's nearly a child...
Like, for some things too clever...
ALERIE: Can't be a child forever...
TYRELLS: Though she at first sight appears so meek and mild!
Yes, she's a bit of a sexy hottie,
but what's the reason why?
The reason why this sexy hottie's wed's
a Dornish-style ménage à trois!
BRIENNE: So Renly is betrothed to the Tyrells' daughter,
pushing me further into the friendzone...
OLENNA: That's right, so, tell me, dear!
Would you like the Lord of Storm's End
to you to be more of a friend?
MARGAERY: And what's wrong if his little secret I now keep?
MACE: You would for him quite soon be flashing
if you think he's more than dashing...
MARGAERY: I don't care if you hate Dorne! Don't look before you leap!
TYRELLS: So he's a bit of a sexy hottie,
looking out for a bride,
but what is clearer is that he'll queer her,
taking those Dornish customs in their stride!
So both of them are quite sexy hotties,
and we know what to do...
The best thing to do with these sexy hotties
is to pair up these two!
BRIENNE: SHUT UP!
I saw it coming! I saw Renly married off to a girlier girl!
(Pause.)
LORAS: So he's a bit of a sexy hottie,
and I lose to you
when we are fighting, it's the green-eyed monster,
I know it well, so I can see you through!
You lost your chance at this sexy hottie,
but don't take it too far!
For good luck in war is bad luck in love,
just admire him from afar!
OLENNA: We're not saying we're against it...
That would be, for House Tyrell,
a great master move in the game of thrones,
and power, we can tell!
Wedding off our daughter to Renly Baratheon...
Then, keep calm and carry on...
and, while the war goes on,
all our foes will be gone...
TYRELLS: And we've come to see off this sexy hottie
ere she leaves for war!
MACE: Father!
ALERIE: Mother!
WILLAS: Brother!
TYRELLS: Support each other,
like we Tyrells have always done before!
Seven Gods may bless our sexy hottie,
the Maiden incarnate!
And the bridegroom, who is the Warrior made flesh,
Why should we ever...
wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait...
SEPTON: Do you, Renly Baratheon, take Margaery Tyrell to be your lawfully wedded...
MARGAERY: We're getting married! I do! (She kisses Renly.)
RENLY: And I do. (He kisses Margaery.)
TYRELLS: Now!
I AM MUCH MORE THAN A TOMBOY
Renly's camp in the Reach, where he is now King, married, and part of a ménage à trois. A blond and blue-armoured lady knight, who can be mistaken for a man, guards the entrance to the headquarters.
BRIENNE: I am much more than a tomboy.
I am Tarth's gallant Maid...
King Renly's my creed, and for him I will bleed,
though never with him I've got laid...
But he has already got married,
and to the Commander's sis...
Those three are so close, I have nothing disclosed,
but I sense that something's amiss...
That is...
I'll never get a kiss...!
THE KNIGHTS OF SUMMER
Renly, his Queen, and his Kingsguard, including Brienne and led by Ser Loras, ride off into battle across the Reach and towards the Stormlands. A widowed Lady Stark joins them across this number:
RENLY: We're going to war,
though I've never fought one before,
and enemies will bend the knee for
the Knights of Summer...
A sword in my hand,
and riding towards my native land,
I come to aid the beleaguered strand
leading the Knights of Summer...
I just can't stay in the Reach while they threaten Storm's End,
I won't hesitate to parley with my brother once again...
There'll be no great fight,
and I will soon reach the greatest height,
sitting on the Iron Throne, flanked by the Knights
of Summer...
The war will be over in less than a year!
These things are easier than they appear!
Peacetime's a good time to stay in and coo,
but now times have changed and forth ride the... Knights of Summer!
When life get's rough, all I do is hope that peace will return,
and, maybe, from these battlefields, there's something I'll learn!
Oh, the sky will be blue
by day, and we will make it through...
When this war's finally won by the Knights
of Summer!
CATELYN: I'm going to tell him...
BRIENNE: Don't you dare!
RENLY: Of SUMMER!!!!!
THE CONFRONTATION (TRAGIC FINALE)
Renly and Stannis meet before Storm's End, the former with Brienne and Loras, the latter, who is besieging the fortress, with Davos and Melisandre. Catelyn stands in the middle, trying in vain to make peace between both sides...
RENLY: You don't have to confront me! Why is it so?
STANNIS: Please, don't shut me out again!
CATELYN: There's a common foe!
If we ally, we could end these times of war!
RENLY: 'Cause, for the first time in forever,
I can see this heart and flame...
For, if our banners were equal,
this battle would have been a shame!
Now, don't tell me you've become religious!
Where did you such faith thus find?
'Cause, for the first time in forever,
I will not be kind!
STANNIS: Renly,
leave for the Reach, and stay right there,
or bend the knee to me, and I'll make you my heir...
RENLY: Never!
STANNIS: I knew what you'd say!
You mean no good, thus, leave me be,
if you do not wish to give in to me...
I'll give you Storm's End if you bend the knee!
RENLY: Actually, you're not!
STANNIS: You're still as stubborn as before!
RENLY: Are you so absolutely sure?
STANNIS: Of what so absolutely sure?
RENLY: Think that god will help you win the war?
STANNIS: He will.
RENLY: Your host is obviously outnumbered.
STANNIS: Outnumbered, I know...
RENLY: The whole of the Stormlands and the Reach will make me king.
MELISANDRE: Look up to your sins.
The night is dark and full of terrors...
RENLY: Is that what you have to say in your defense?
'Cause, for the first time in forever,
STANNIS: My trust is in the Lord of Light...
RENLY: You should kneel before me!
STANNIS: I'll reward you if you just bend the knee...
RENLY: If you just pack up these tents...
STANNIS: Renly, please, you'll only make it worse!
RENLY: Get leaving!
STANNIS: Trust in the Lord of Light!
RENLY: We'll rout the Lannisters!
STANNIS: You're allied with the Reach!
RENLY: We'll claim the throne for House Baratheon!
STANNIS: No!
RENLY: We will claim the throne together...
STANNIS: I... I... I... I... I...
RENLY: And everything will be all right...!
STANNIS: I can't!!
That night, in Renly's headquarters, once Brienne has taken off his breastplate, the Stannis-like dementor summoned by Melisandre slips in and stabs him in the back. Renly dies in a desperate Brienne's arms. Enter Loras in haste, as Cat and Brienne run away. The curtain closes in on Loras cradling Renly's lifeless form, with Margaery by his side.
THE END.
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