THE SLEEPING PRINCESS IN THE HALLS OF ICE

Another filk... This one is based upon Sansa Stark's current arc (Sansay at the very end!) and uses "Garasu No Hitsugi de Nemuru Himegimi" (The Sleeping Princess in the Glass Case), also by Sound Horizon, a reworking of Snow White. Sansa is the titular character, Cersei is obviously the Wicked Queen. Petyr is both the Huntsman and Doc, while the B***rd of Bolton is Prince Charming.

LISTENER:
A sleeping princess in a dungeon of ice...
Tell me, Your Grace, how you wound up in this place.
Please, sing it for us!

SANSA:
With skin white as the snows of the North,
and locks as red as spun and beaten copper...
And my lips and cheeks like leaves
of the freshest summer rose,
a half-southron summer child,
I was born at Winterfell...

Though my life was warm and full of love,
I still felt empty, that something was missing...
Thus one day the wish I made for my sorrows would come true...
as the bride of the Crown Prince, I came to the royal court...

CERSEI:
For rising to power, 
I must find for my dear Joffrey the best princess bride!
The very best of parties...
TYWIN: 
That would be none other than Sansa Stark!
CERSEI: (Noblewoman's laugh)

SANSA:
My in-laws and betrothed were wicked, so
I remembered the love my mother once gave me...
There was no escape from court, there was war and once a siege,
And thus, when I came of age, came this dark maid from the Reach...

CERSEI:
For rising to power, 
I must find for my dear Joffrey the best princess bride!
The very best of parties...
TYWIN: 
Discard the poor traitor's daughter, Sansa Stark!
Now, the best party's wealthy Margaery Tyrell!
CERSEI: (Screams of pain, then gets ready for the wedding.)

(The Purple Wedding)
JOFFREY (taking a crystal from Sansa's necklace, ironically to her):
May you spare a crystal? (He puts it into his cup of red wine)
(Putting the cup to his lips, proposing a toast): Here's to my bride, the Rose of the Reach!
(He drains the cup and begins to cough, to choke, to reel, and falls to the ground, dying in Cersei's arms)
CERSEI (desperate): My boy! Joffrey! Joffrey!!!
SANSA: The royal wedding went completely wrong when the bridegroom died, 
quite unexpectedly...
PETYR: You can leave King's Landing if you please, and I advise you too!
Let us set sail together!
SANSA: We'll return to Winterfell!
PETYR: My princess, no! It ain't safe! We leave for the Vale!
SANSA: I've never met Aunt Lysa, though I've heard she's mad!
Are you actually planning to leave me in her care!
PETYR: Well, it so happens that she has become my wife,
which makes you my niece and even more than so!
SANSA: All right!

SANSA: And thus, we set sail as soon as we could!

SANSA: Twilight lights a bright and gloomy evening sky,
the Red Keep and Great Sept have disappered from view,
Within a week, we landed, soon we had attained
a fortress among craggy peaks!

LYSA: But what have you brought here?
PETYR: I had a bastard daughter with a milkmaid here in the Vale...
I brought Alayne to King's Landing, and now she's come back with me,
to live in her home country again!
LYSA: This girl, Alayne, looks familiar to me...
PETYR: Insinuating something?
LYSA: Oh, she looks just like Cat as a maiden!
PETYR: It's purely coincidental!
LYSA: In fact, she reminds me far more than slightly of Catelyn back then...
PETYR: You know that I got over what happened at the Freys' wedding...
LYSA: Really?
SANSA: Good morning!
I'm Petyr Baelish's Vale lovechild, Alayne Stone! Pleased to meet Lady Regent Lysa!
I had to put up with the charade not to rouse Aunt Lysa's suspicions.
Yet I'm sure she must have discovered me...
for she was so jealous of me all the time!

PETYR: Lysa!
LYSA: I am still in love with you,
and how come you love another one,
would you leave me for a younger one?
PETYR: You still have feelings for me? What a surprise!
I was using you all this time, Lysa!
When I swore those vows, 'twas to get married to the Vale!
Now you know!
LYSA: I am still in love with you,
and how come you see me as a pawn,
marry me, then take a younger love?
PETYR:
Some day or another, I had to tell you the truth!
Ever heard that chaos is a ladder?
The climb is the only thing there matters and there is!
Love will only lead to disappointment!
You will reach the stars, then fall deep into the abyss! (He pushes her to the brink of the Moon Door)
LYSA: For love's sake! Set me free!
(Petyr shoves her down the Moon Door)

PETYR:
For rising to power, 
I must find for Ramsay Bolton the best princess bride!
The very best of parties...
SANSA:
Maybe the poor traitor's daughter, Sansa Stark! (Noblewoman's laugh, for a long time)

LISTENER:
I see, this was the sorrowful story of your life!
Thus, we will see how your new prince, a rather strange young man, will treat you nowadays!
Soon, you will meet your sweetheart for the first time!

RAMSAY:
Where is the maiden bride I see in my dreams?
Where and when could I find her frame?
In a region of the North,
where the sun rises or sets,
where the storm and blizzard rage!
Having grown bereft of love...
I need her just like I need to breathe!

The Maiden turns her eyes towards tomorrow...
The Crone turns her eyes towards yesterday...
I've tried to love others, but only can hate! 
It doesn't matter if it's to love a beast!
For I'm a monster worse!!!

Twilight lights a bright and gloomy evening sky,
the Regent of the Vale rides forth to Winterfell...
And, riding by his side, what rarity I see!
The bride that he has brought for me!

There's a look in your blue eyes like those of a living dead!
Like trapped in unquiet dreams from which you'll never awake!
You're the loveliest one I have ever seen!
I have found you at last!

Lord Baelish, you've brought me what I needed the most.
PETYR:
It's always a pleasure to make a match with the Prince of Winterfell.

LISTENER:
Let's see... That fool will give her Stockholm syndrome.

RAMSAY:
My name is Ramsay Bolton, né Snow.

LISTENER:
Are you ready for this, my fallen princess?

SANSA:
Good morning!

LISTENER:
Now, let the revenge begin!

SANSA:
With skin white as that of the deceased,
and locks as red as wild unruly fire...
And my lips and cheeks like leaves
of a poisonous flower,
If you felt pleasure
in making me suffer dreadfully,
it'll serve you right to find
that from you I've disappeared! (Manic laugh)

What's going on? Catch me if you can!
Remember that I'm your lawfully wedded wife!!!
RAMSAY:
Seize her!

LISTENER:
Sansa Stark, Sansa Stark, your future looks so dark...
Will you ever pick up the pieces of your innocence?
I hope that there is light at the end of the day.
SANSA:
Do you? I feel so happy!

WESTEROS AU X: TARTH-ELINA

This AU retells one of Andersen's most famous fairy tales with Jaime and Brienne in lead roles, a couple of crackships, some gratuitous Gaelic and German, a whole-scene shout-out/allusion to Cabaret (I'm referring to the Third Reich musical), a wedding crash, the bear of Harrenhal, and Easter eggs referring to the original series... Set in Westeros in an alternate storyline.

Dramatis personae

• Thumbelina: Brienne Tarth
• Cornelius/Jachimo: Jaime Lannister
• Thumbelina's Guardian: Selwyn Tarth
• Giver of the Seed: Maester of Evenfall Hall
• Fairy Royals: Tywin and Cersei Lannister
• Mother Frog Impresaria: Catelyn Stark (in plaid) (the Starks speak Gaelic like the frogs in the film speak Spanish)
• Eldest Froglet: Robb Stark (in a kilt)
• Other Froglets: Bran Stark (in a kilt), Rickon Stark (in a kilt), Hodor (in a -hodor- kilt)
• Jitterbugs: Meera and Jojen Reed
• Berkeley Beetle (Alpha Beetle MC): Renly Baratheon!! (as a parody of the MC in Cabaret!!)
• Assistant to Berkeley: Loras Tyrell (as a parody of the MC in Cabaret!!)
• Other Bugs in Ballroom: The rest of the Tyrell family and their entourage
• Mrs. Vole: (Fat) Walda Bolton
• Mr. Vole (Sir Not Appearing in the Original Fairytale): Roose Bolton
• Mr. Posh Mole: Ramsay "the B****rd" Bolton, né Snow
• The Reverend: Septon of Harrenhal
• The Bear of Harrenhal: Himself

POCOYIZED GAME OF THRONES CHARACTERS

Catelyn "Cat" Stark, née Tully

Catelyn, wedding gown

Robb Stark in breastplate

Robb Stark in civilian attire

Robb Stark as bridegroom

Talisa, Robb's bride

Talisa

Sansa Stark, usual attire

Sansa Stark, usual attire II

Sansa Stark, bridal gown

Arya Stark, season 1 (ponytailed)

Arya Stark, tomboy I

Arya, more tomboyish, with a sword!!

Jon Snow as a Night's Watch ranger

Renly Baratheon, I

Renly Baratheon in a cozier suit

Renly in military outfit

Loras Tyrell in military outfit

Loras Tyrell in civilian attire

Were queer marriage legalized in Westeros,
Renly would wear this for his wedding...

...and Loras would wear this!

Margaery Tyrell

Margaery in her wedding gown

Brienne of Tarth, the breastplated maiden

Ygritte, the brave wildling

Alright, now that we've done the good guys,
we'll go for... This is Cersei Lannister

Cersei in a winter outfit

Cersei would have worn this gown when wedded
to Fat King Robert

Jaime Lannister (season 1, beardless)

Jaime Lannister (bearded)

Joffrey Baratheon (Lannister!), heir to the Iron Throne

Joffrey in finer court dress

Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish

Yara Greyjoy, pirate princess of the Iron Islands

Yara in a cozier outfit, for resting between raids

Theon Greyjoy, Yara's brother, a ward of the Starks'

Theon in a cozier outfit

Ramsay Snow-Bolton, a character you may not
know much about...

Ramsay equipped for battle...
guess what? He's queer too!

Ramsay Snow-Bolton, take 3

GAME OF THRONES AU IV: 30YW

A RAINBOW OF PASSIONS

This Thirty Years' War-themed AU focuses on the relationship between Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell, here portrayed as the rittmeister and lieutenant, respectively, of the same company at Sweden's service. Margaery Tyrell is Renly's childhood friend and fiancée (later, his spouse), consternated when he dies of wounds inflicted at Lützen, and feeling powerless not to have been able to save his life.
The Lannisters are Austrian courtiers who have managed to arrange Wallenstein's demotion, and the villains of the piece (Jaime is the Kaiser's corrupt confessor!).
Another, more featured antagonist, is Stannis Baratheon: here a devout Catholic, whisked away and raised by Jesuits as a child, a colonel on Tilly's (and later on Wallenstein's) side, keeping the religious vows in camp like Tilly. There is something personal between Stannis and Renly: the former blames the latter for their older brother's assassination during the Pfalzic phase of the war, in the 1620s (Robert was a Lutheran, like Renly). Thus, Stannis becomes the one who slits Renly's throat at Lützen... but such a deed won't be left unpunished.
Roose Bolton and his son Ramsay also appear as wardens of Küstrin, and later as wardens of Ingolstadt, to reclaim Küstrin in the end. Roose is one of Tilly's closest officers and an inquisitor. Theon Greyjoy, the lieutenant in Robb Stark's company, left for dead at Lützen, is here subject to the Holy Office's most relevant methods.
Catelyn Stark is a military widow and camp follower. Her daughter Sansa is abducted and brought to the Hofburg by Joffrey Lannister, while Arya gradually becomes a skilled marauder and Robb, another rittmeister and frenemy of Renly's, is killed (by Roose Bolton, obviously) at Lützen.
Jon Snow is a highwayman, partnered with red-haired robber girl Ygritte, who once fought on the Protestant side. His path finally crosses with Arya's, and with that of Brienne, the ensign of Renly's company, who has escaped the firing squad after being scapegoated for the death of her commanding officer: both girls join his crew.

GAME OF WANDS

GAME OF WANDS

Game of Wands (formerly Game of Hogwarts) is a newly-started AU made among my university classmates. In this AU (good guess!), the GoT youngsters attend a boarding school for the somehow gifted...

The Cast

The Gryffindors:
Loras Tyrell (prefect) (hostage for Sansa at tournament)
Robb Stark (prefect) (champion for Hogwarts)
Arya Stark/"Jeyne Poole (post-clothes exchange in Arc V, is actually Arya)"
Jon Snow
Ygritte
Brienne of Tarth

The Slytherins:
Viserys Targaryen (late prefect)
Renly Baratheon (late prefect, deceased at the start of Arc I)
Joffrey Baratheon-Lannister (prefect)
Margaery Tyrell (prefect)
Ramsay Bolton-Snow (transferred from Durmstrang in Arc V, debuted in the previous arc)
Theon Greyjoy (hostage for Robb at tournament)
Yara Greyjoy
Roose Bolton (formerly)

The Hufflepuffs:
Jeyne Poole/"Arya Stark (post-clothes exchange in Arc V, is actually Jeyne)" (captured by Ramsay and forced to marry him)
Myrcella Baratheon-Lannister
Robin Arryn (arc V onwards)

The Ravenclaws:
Rhaegar Targaryen (deceased, late prefect, relevant in prequels)
Sansa Stark (spare champion for Hogwarts) (Death-Eater "Alayne Stone" post-Arc V)
Brandon "Bran" Stark (arc IV onwards)
Shireen Baratheon
Daenerys Targaryen (formerly)
Stannis Baratheon (formerly)

The Staff:
Daenerys Targaryen (Creature Care)
Jaime Lannister  (flight instructor) (DaDA, Arc I-II)
Petyr Baelish (DaDA, Arc IV-V)
Stannis Baratheon (Deputy Headmaster, History, DaDA Arc VI/finale)
Melisande (Transfigurations)
Jorah Mormont (History/Library overseer)
Lysa Arryn/Baelish (matron nurse)
Commander Mormont (headmaster, Arc I-IV)
Tywin Lannister (headmaster, Arc V-VII)


The Order of the Dragons:
Daenerys Targaryen
Renly Baratheon (deceased)
Ygritte
Jorah Mormont
Commander/Headmaster Mormont (leader/founder)
Robb Stark
Jon Snow (successor of Mormont, post-Arc V)
Arya Stark
Euron Greyjoy

The Death Eaters and Inquisition:
Stannis Baratheon (High Inquisitor)
Roose Bolton
Ramsay Bolton-Snow
Melisande
"Reek" (formerly known as Theon Greyjoy)
Jaime Lannister
Cersei Lannister
Tywin Lannister
Clegane brothers (both of them)
Petyr Baelish
Rhaegar Targaryen (deceased)
Viserys Targaryen (also deceased)

The Other Characters (in rudimentary setting):
Andreas Schizker (champion for Durmstrang)
Hélène de Moye (champion for Beauxbatons)
Ramsay Bolton-Snow (Durmstrang from the start)
Talisa Maegyr (Beauxbatons, French-Islamic)
Saphira (Andreas's cat, hostage for Durmstrang in the tournament)
Sarah Vincent (Hélène's best friend, hostage for Beauxbatons)
Karl Johann Rüttich (headmaster at Durmstrang)
Christine Garcy (headmistress at Beauxbatons)
Euron Greyjoy (DaPA [Pure Arts] at Durmstrang)

Andreas and Hélène, as well as their acquaintances, are OC:s based upon classmates of mine, Game of Thrones fans Andreu Císcar and Helena Moya. Karl Johann and Christine are based upon real-life people as well.