FUN DERMARK WAYS TO DIE

FUN DERMARK WAYS TO DIE

My own filk version of the Dumb Ways to Die meme...

WARNING: Some of these activities are hazardous to health, or even to life itself.


14th of August 2015

Defenestrate yourself,
get on your head a book-filled shelf.
Play a game of Russian roulette,
be as self-indulgent as Marie Antoinette...

Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...
Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...

Play Antigonus with a live brown bear,
put on tight Victorian corset underwear.
Be a Protestant in Philip II's Spain.
Start up a fight against Ser Gregor Clegane.

Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...
Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...

Get your heart run through with a spear,

thrust a skewer through from ear to ear.

Try a home-made parachute from the Eiffel Tower...

And a mutant poison spider will give you no super-power.

Fun Dermark ways to die,

such fun Dermark ways to die...
Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...

Get kissed thrice by the Snow Queen,
stage a too realistic action scene,
get lockjaw from a wound you didn't care for though it hurt,
have fourteen semla buns in a row for dessert...

Fun Dermark ways to die,

such fun Dermark ways to die...
Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...

Drink liquor until it takes away your reason...
Accuse Lieutenant Edmond Dantès of treason...
Inhale a ludicrous amount of helium...
Come out of the closet in the Third Reich...
Try to capture a Komodo dragon...
They may not rhyme, but they're quite possibly...

Fun Dermark ways to die,

such fun Dermark ways to die...
Fun Dermark ways to die,
such fun Dermark ways to die...


BE SAFE AROUND LIFE.
A message from Sandra Dermark

SHAKESPEARE ALTERNATE TITLES

SHAKESPEARE ALTERNATE TITLES, nearly all of them beginning with the clichéd and overrated snowclone "The One With..."

• Othello: The One with the Handkerchief
• Macbeth: The One with the Three Witches
• Romeo and Juliet: The One with the Star-Crossed Lovers
• Hamlet: The One with the Laced Rapier
• Julius Caesar: The One with the Ides of March
• King Lear: The One with the Wicked Stepdaughters
• Anthony and Cleopatra: The One with the Cobra
• Coriolanus: The One with the Unpopular Statesman
• Titus Andronicus: The One with the Meat Pie
• Henry IV, Part One and Two: The One with Falstaff, Part One and Two
• Henry V: The One with the Tennis Balls
• Henry VI Trilogy: The One with Joan of Arc, Parts One, Two, and Three
• Richard III: The One with the Princes in the Tower
• Henry VIII: The One with the Reformation
• Midsummer Night's Dream: The One with the Donkey-Headed Actor
• Merchant of Venice: The One with the Clever (Actually Female) Lawyer
• Much Ado About Nothing: The One with the Bickering Lovers
• Taming of the Shrew: The One with (Kate) the Shrew
• As You Like It: The One with the Usurper's Daughter
• Twelfth Night: The One with the Puritan in Yellow
• The Merry Wives of Windsor: The Other One with Falstaff, feat. Two Married Women
• The Tempest: The One with Caliban
• The Winter's Tale: The One with the Bear
• All's Well that Ends Well: The One with the French Jerk
• Measure for Measure: Wicked Austrians (Except the Nun)
• Cymbeline: Snow White of Milford Haven
• Pericles: Snow White and the Seven Pirates