THE BLACK CELL TANGO (WESTEROS FILK)

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[JEOR MORMONT]
And now, the Six Merry Murderesses of Westeros
in their rendition of The Black Cell Tango!

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[MELISANDRE]
You know how people have these little habits that get you down. 
Like... Renly.
Renly liked to be a rebel. Not just a rebel. A TRAITOR.
So he and Stannis had a parley one day,
and there I am witnessing, and I'm telling him to accept his true king 
and there's Renly joking as usual, being rebellious and obnoxious. 
No, not just rebellious. PEACHY. 
So I said to him, I said "the night is dark and full of terrors...", 
and he laughed.
So I just gave birth to a shadow and sent it after Renly... 
a dark, cold death.

He had it coming, 
he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you had been there, 
if you had heard it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[CERSEI]
I met Robert Baratheon from Storm's End about thirteen years ago. 
And he vowed to make me Queen, 
so we got married right away.
So, we started living together. 
He'd go hunt, he would come home, I'd pour him a drink, we'd have dinner.
And then, in bed, 
"Lyanna" he told me???
Lyanna, Seven Hells! 
Not only he loved her... oh no, he had several mistresses. 
One of those male whores, you know. 
So that morrow, when he left home to hunt, 
I gave his skin of wine to Lancel as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold their strong wine.

He had it coming
He had it coming!
He took a lioness in its prime!
And then he used it
And he abused it!
It was a murder, but not a crime!

[ARYA]
Now, I'm standing in this Inn, 
drinking some ale with the Hound,
minding my own business...
In storms the Tickler in a murderous rage!
"Is there gold in the village?", he says.
He was crazy, and he kept repeating,
"Is there gold in the village?"
And then he ran into my Needle.
He ran into my Needle a hundred times.

If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[MARGAERY]
Qu'est-ce que je fais ici?
On dit que j'ai eu des affaires jusqu'a ce que 
mon époux royal atteint la majorité sexuelle.
Mais ce n'est pas vrai. Je suis innocente.
Je ne sais pas pourquoi la Cour entière dit qui j'ai eu des affaires.
J'ai essayé de l'expliquer au clergé, mais on ne me croit pas.
[CERSEI]
(Yeah, but did you do it???)
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh... NOT GUILTY!!!

[QUEEN OF THORNS]
My granddaughter Margaery and I had this powerful plan, 
and her betrothed, Joffrey, was an integral part of it.
Now, while having dinner in King's Landing, Lady Sansa told us the raw, ugly truth... 
lies, sins, pain, evil, dread... 
beatings, mental abuse, cruelty, madness, 
one right after the other.
Well, this one night in their wedding feast, 
all were happy, boozing and having a few laughs,
and Joff ran out of wine. 
So he sent Tyrion to get some.
And so he did, Joff drank 
and there's this frightening, awful, thin sound...
a closing throat.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. 
I couldn't remember a thing. 
It wasn't until later, when I recalled straightening Sansa's hairnet, 
I realized why he was dead.

They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong???

They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong???

[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
I knew Freys were scum more than I can possibly say.
They were just those kind of guys... proud... really prickly.
They were trying to get back at my son Robb.
Then on Edmure's wedding night they stood up for themselves 
and on the way,
they murdered Robb, Dacey, Raynald, and me.
I guess you can say they're dying by the dozen due to warfare differences.
They saw themselves as alive
And I saw them dead.

The dirty scums, scums, scums, scums, scums!
The dirty scums, scums, scums, scums, scums!

They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
How could you tell us that we were wrong?

He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame!
If you'd have been there?
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[MELISANDRE]
The night is dark and full of terrors...
[CERSEI]
Lyanna, Seven Hells!
[ARYA]
He ran into my Needle a hundred times.
[MARGAERY]
Pourquoi suis-je prisonnière ici?
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
This frightening, awful, thin sound - a closing throat.
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Warfare differences.

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!

[MELISANDRE]
Peach! 
[CERSEI]
Skin! 
[ARYA]
Gold! 
[MARGAERY]
Uh-uh! 
[QUEEN OF THORNS]
Wedding Feast! 
[CATELYN / LADY STONEHEART]
Freys!