I before E, except after C,
Or when sounded like A, as in “freighter” or “weigh,”
Or when sounded like I, either zeitgeist or height,
And when wishing a feisty geisha gesundheit.
Or when sounded like E, as in “Seize the sheik’s reindeer!”
A task to perform at your leh-zure (or leisure).
Seeing words come from French, it’s more academic:
A “counterfeit ancient cuneiform relic,”
Will give any speller a pain in the keister,
(Albeit, French words almost always sound fancier.)
And lest we forget, the time a financier,
Surveilling a proximate sovereign glacier
Dressed up like a poltergeist, ambushed his neighbours,
And forced them to forfeit their eight heirloom heifers.
I know you’ll agree, if you’re Keith, Neil, or Sheila,
Or gaze at the stars up in Cassiopeia,
Partake in abseiling or dancing capoeira,
Or happen to like a fine glass of Madeira,
That we, in good conscience, should start a campaign
Our species abolish this heinous rule’s reign.
Exceptions abound! There’s no disagreeing!
So right here and now, I’m firmly decreeing:
The old policies should not be revered!
There’s no rhyme or reason, it’s all very weird.
Of course, problem being, once done with our yelling,
Inefficiently needing to memorise spelling.
