POP THAT FRIGGING MOËT!
At laaaaast I have got the account of the drunken messenger in La Manekine!!!
Get the cannons and fire all of them!!!
For this is Philippe de Beaumanoir talking intoxication and dramatic irony, mesdames et messieurs!
Summary: "He travels for two days, until he [···] stays with the Male Dame overnight. [···] she makes him drunk and reads his message [···] The unsuspecting messenger promises to return that way.
One day and night bring him to the queen mother, who again inebriates him [···] The messenger sets out the next day and goes on without stopping [···] His absence has lasted for three weeks.
The whole matter of the substituted messages comes out, with the messenger's narrative clearly implicating the queen mother."
To the messenger she does not at all show
the great treachery or the jealousy
that she had within her heart.
(It never emerged, for any consideration,
until she will pay for it,
as she will well know.)
To fool and deceive him,
she had him given good wine to drink.
The wretch did not take notice;
he drank so much of it and so willingly
that he quite took leave of his good sense
(de son sens se délivra)
because of the strong wine that made him drunk.
When the wicked lady saw this,
she laughs for the evil she is thinking.
She talks to him and flatters him so much
that she made him lie down
right inside her closet that night.
He was longing to sleep.
Because of the wine, which had gone to his head,
he had his brain all muddled;
and so he went to sleep. But that woman is awake,
who is preparing to do evil.
She has come right up to his bed
and feels through his garments
until she has found the case
in which the letter was placed.
She is very glad when she has it.
With it she quickly goes away
and has called a clerk of hers
from whom she has not at all concealed
the evil deed that she wants to do.
"Come forward! You must do,"
she says, "what I shall tell you."
"Lady, speak and I shall act."
"Now detach this seal for me
so neatly and so well
that I may have the letter out of it
and that I can put another one there."
"Lady, willingly."
Then he sought for what he needed.
With a very thin-bladed pen-knife
he detaches it and takes out the letter.
He has it read out before his lady.
[···]
at the seal in the case;
when he sees it, that pleased him greatly.
He well realized that he was drunk;
but he has got over it quickly;
he thinks that they made him lie down there
to rest at his ease;
it is for love of those whom he served,
he believes, that such hospitality was given him.
But it is otherwise than he thinks.
He gets himself ready without delay.
The wicked lady was already up
and sent for the messenger;
he came to her without dallying.
She entreats him to return
her way; let nothing hinder him.
He told her that since she wishes it,
he does not mind doing so.
Willingly will he return that way;
no obstacle will hold him.
When he has pledged this to her,
he swiftly took leave;
she gives him leave, and he goes off.
He suspected no treachery;
[···]
She was very happy when she sees
the messenger who is coming from France.
And the messenger advances
until he greets her and she, him.
Then she said: "Now, let there be no lying!
Were you in France?" "Yes, Lady."
"Did you see my son? How does he do?"
"Very well, Lady. And he is so valiant
that he is winning all the tourneys."
"And at the news that he heard,
tell me if he rejoiced."
"Indeed, Lady, I well remember
that he went to read it in his chamber,
he and only two others.
They were there a rather long time.
I don't know what he saw there and what he did,
except that in turn I made up a letter
that I am carrying back to the seneschal.
And I am taking him word that great harm
will come to him if he does not do
what he will see set out in the letter."
When the lady hears this,
she dares not inquire of him further
lest he take notice;
for she desires to deceive him.
And so she wanted to let it go at that,
and thinks about putting him at ease.
Strong wines were not denied him,
and he made such a disposition of them
that he fell into a drunken state.
Thus he failed two times,
for he was never able to keep from it;
and afterward many a day he thought himself a fool.
Many evils are done through drunkenness;
therefore, the one who indulges in it is a great fool;
many have been killed through it,
and many a great deed hindered.
So it was with this man
who foolishly plunged into it.
The glutton drank so much that he became drunk;
not until the next day did he emerge
from drunkenness. This gladdened her,
the wicked, arrogant lady.
As she had done a short time before,
in her chamber, at her back,
she made him lie down that night.
There the messenger satisfied
his desire to sleep,
he who, on that score, was not wise.
When the dark night had come,
the king's mother did not hold back;
she has stolen his letter
and taken it into her chamber,
so that no one ever knew of it except the clerk
by whom was opened the seal
of the letter that the messenger carried.
The wicked lady exhorted him
and told him not to resist
her will, but to detach quickly
the seal that her son is sending.
The wicked clerk, who was in the way of evil,
just as his lady was,
said "Gladly," without urging.
He detaches the seal with the little pen-knife;
he draws out the letter that is inside,
then he has spread it flat
and read it out before his lady.
The king calls his seneschal,
not concealing his distress,
and has said to him without delay:
"The messenger who came from France,
have him come to me immediately.
I want to have words with him."
"Sire," he says, "very willingly."
He has sent for him by two squires.
They soon went and soon returned,
and brought the messenger
promply before the king,
trembling with fear;
he well believes that he has done wrong,
and his heart is constricted with fear.
The king sees him, and asks him,
when he had left the seneschal
to go straight to France,
by what route he had gone.
"And let there be no concealing from me
the lodging where you were received,
both coming and going.
With that, I wish to acquit you.
If you tell the truth, you will have nothing to fear;
if you die, you will soon know
what death dies a man who is hanged;
you will be defended by nothing else."
The messenger understood the king,
and has answered like a sensible man:
"Sire," he says, "I shall tell you
the whole truth, whatever I may get for it.
Outward bound, I slept at the home of your mother,
who was very hospitable towards me.
Through cunning, as I guess,
she had me drink of her strong wine,
until it went to my head.
Thus folly took hold of me,
and did with me as she pleased.
She made me lie in her closet
that night, until the next day,
when I arose quite early.
When I saw myself in that chamber,
my limbs trembled with fright.
I feared treachery so much
that I put my hand into my case.
I saw the seneschal's seal;
thus, I could not think of any evil.
As soon as I was ready to leave,
I saw her coming before me.
She prayed much for me not to leave her,
that I should return to her place,
and thus I promised her.
I went to you; I returned passing by her place,
and, the next day, I took myself for a fool.
I drank so much that night that I got drunk;
until the next day, I had not emerged from drunkenness.
And I lay in her closet,
where I had lain the other time,
as one who does not doubt of any evil
nor does think of any evil.
Since your seal was intact,
I did not notice at all
that they could have exchanged the letter.
But, since you did not write
the words that the seneschal read,
I do believe that the disloyal one,
your mother, had them changed;
but I couldn't do anything about it.
I pray that you don't make her die suffering.
I have told you everything I had to tell.
Do with me as you please."
[···]
how the foolish messenger went off,
the one who did not acquit himself wisely,
(qui n'esploita pas comme sage)
how he went, how he returned,
and how afterwards he thought himself a fool
when the treachery was known
that the wicked lady had brought about
through the exchanged letter
[···]
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