FRODO IN UMBRIDGE'S OFFICE

This fic does not belong to me, but still I felt that I had to share it with u:

46.) Justice

Word Count: 442

Frodo sat in Dolores Umbridge’s office. His reason for being there: causing a disruption in class. Yes, he was a hobbit wizard and with that came specific obligations. This was one of those times. And he would make sure she would leave Hogwarts.

“Miss Umbridge, what time is it?” Frodo asked, curious.

“Seven-thirty. Why do you ask?” Umbridge asked in return.

He shrugged. “I was curious.” He paused. “Miss Umbridge, are you the greatest witch at Hogwarts?”

“Is that a compliment? You’re in detention, Mr. Baggins.”

“I know, but it’s nice to be at your mercy.” He said, growing excited. “Miss Umbridge, what do you call a cat that chases mice?”

“Now Mr. Baggins, a cat is very stealthy and…”

“A louse!” He gaped at her in delight.

“A louse is an insect. It is not a cat or a mouse.”

“But a louse is better than a cat.”

“Cats are very stealthy creatures. They attack louses with pride, similar to what I am doing for your detention,” she said. Frodo peered at the black quill in derision.

“Miss Umbridge, do you know the difference between a dog and a cat?”

“Of course I do, boy. A dog chases the cat, but the bigger cat attacks the dog. That’s why cats are a vital importance at Hogwarts,” she smiled cheerfully. It was that smile that set Frodo’s teeth on edge. The way Umbridge was taking pride in cats drove him mad.

“Miss Umbridge, what’s the difference between a dog and a frog?”

“Mr. Baggins, I am obliged to answer all your questions about animals, but we really need to focus on your…”

“Miss Umbridge, what’s the difference between a step-stool and a normal-sized stool?” He asked in excitement. He paused. The silence was foreboding. “Well, what is it?”

“Mr. Baggins, you will write with this quill and…” she was cut off by Frodo, who had more questions to ask her:

“Miss Umbridge, why won’t you answer my questions? All Ravenclaws know the difference between a step-stool and a step-ladder.” His eyes beamed in rays of happiness.

“What is the point of these questions, Baggins?!” She stopped him from further asking questions. “That’s enough! I will not tolerate this nonsense a moment longer. I am off to see Dumbledore and punish you further for your insubordination.” She charged out the door without another word. He was pleased, but wondered if she would grant him more detentions…

As it happened, Frodo was released from further detentions. He met up with Fred and George Weasley in the Great Hall. They were excited when he explained his little test with Umbridge. It was a good day.

LEGO LUNA LOVEGOOD

For all those Luna-tics out there in cyberspace...

Captured by the Inquisition (why is she so down?)... (humming Imperial March)

In her Ravenclaw uniform

With Xeno (and worried looks on their faces)

All dressed up for Christmas

REVIEWING SAGAS: HOGWARTS

I was as old as Harry, Ron, and Hermione when I discovered Hogwarts. And I loved it! The idea of a magic school and magical creatures, of the four houses... until the gory finale, in which most of the leading cast (except the Golden Trio and a few other lucky ones) forfeit their lives in the final battle.
Now here come my own awards on the Hogwarts universe!

Best Female Lead: Luna Lovegood. Meet Luna and die in peace. Like I describe her as one of the guests at my thirteen-person dinner table, to which I didn't invite her for nothing, "A girl of my age and mindset. She would sit on my right side and next to the Baron (von Münchhausen), so that the three of us could enjoy a yarn-spinning competition." Our identification led even to make a Game of Thrones crest for the Lovegood family (Ravenclaw colours, moon bunny):

Reading upside down offers a different perspective.

A Lunister always wears nice hats.

It all depends on the lens of the onlooker...

Young Luna

Older Luna

Pretty for Christmas Luna.

Luna reading upside down.

Gryffindor Lion Luna: "Hear me roar!"

Lovegood coat of arms (fan-made).
Motto: "Reason is not all"

Best Male Lead: Regulus Black. The scion of a chauvinist society clan, Reg finally defected from the Death Eaters upon seeing the light. He's got to be quite brave for a Slytherin! The way he tricked the Death Eaters when it came to the Slytherin locket: he was but 18 when he replaced the real locket with a forgery, drank the hemlock potion in which the locket was submerged, then was violently dragged into a pond by the undead when he rushed to the pond to quench his thirst (an effect of the potion consumed). This posthumous Christ figure who literally and metaphorically drank the hemlock ought to be, like the Clever Princess (or like Luna Lovegood), the hero of his own story.

Reggie, we hardly knew you...

A special Mention of Honour goes to Luna's father, Mr. Xeno Lovegood, ranked second. A conspiracy theorist, a widower who has mastered the fine art of single parenthood, a lovable eccentric very like his only daughter, a trickster mentor and entertainer for the Golden Trio... Of course he betrayed them, but we forgive his sins because we realise Luna was being damselled by Death Eaters in the meantime and her dad meant to set her free. Lovable, quirky, erudite, merry... which means Luna is a real chip of the old wand. Oh, Xeno haters, call him a traitor... but remember that 1) the Death Eaters made him do it and 2) he knew his little moon-bunny would make it through.

Xeno lecturing Harry and Ron

Lovegood coat of arms (fan-made).
Motto: "Reason is not all"

Vilest Villain: Dolores Jane Umbridge. That first name of hers, her dark auburn hair, and the very Castilian title of High Inquisitor immediately remind me of the "black legend" of Habsburg-era (S)Pain. As soon as Dumbledore is fired by a corrupt goverment, this wench takes the helm. Bad times for Hogwarts students! Only Luna and the Weasley twins dared to oppose resistance to her reign of terror. For Loles U., being so strict with the youngsters, wallowed in self-indulgence within her own office. Hypocritical, intolerant, and a pure-blood chauvinist (where do I put the last item?)... It served her right to be gang raped by a flock of male centaurs!

Hay Dolores que matan...

NOBODY expects the Hogwarts INQUISITION!

Most Notable Narrative (Novel + Film): The Goblet of Fire. It showcases the magic schools outside the UK, and has them pitted against Hogwarts in three thrilling trials, as the Golden Trio of teenagers discover their surging feelings. Only one factor could have improved it: introducing Luna. Malheureusement, the much darker next book is the one to place her on stage.

Fairest Fairytale: "The Fountain of Fair Fortune", in which three unfortunate witches (one of them terminally ill, another one destitute, the third one betrayed in love) and a muggle knight team up to solve each other's issues. I would like to compare it, in tone, plot, and moral, to The Wizard of Oz.

A special Mention of Honour goes to "The Three Brothers", a Gothic-style tale with a dark outline and a bright ending... and the only fairytale told in the films. Along the lines of Edgar Allan Poe, and featuring folk motifs such as resurrection or the successful third sibling, this is the most well-known fairy tale in the 'verse.

The resurrection stone, the invincible wand, and the Reaper's own invisible cloak.

Which house?: Ravenclaw. Not merely for being Luna's, but for their value of wit and knowledge. Though I am brave and loyal, I can't see myself as a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. Neither as a Slytherin would the Sorting Hat pick me. I should have illustrated this post with the Ravenclaw Eagle, but Luna in uniform (Luniform? Loony-form?), with her blue and silver tie, looked far better to me.

Luniform? Loony... form?