ALBRECHT VON WALLENSTEIN

One thing about bunnies is the fact that they tend to spawn at an alarming rate.
This idea rose at about the same time as the Lützen filk of yesterday. I murmured it in bed this morning before rising up and telling myself: hey, this one's worth a shot!
So it's the opening number of the same musical, basically. Got a Kuvira version in the works as well, let's see when it sees the light!

For now, enjoy this 30YW version, dear readers!!! Larvae of all stages, adolescents of every gender, Miss Dermark's Filk Lyrics Factory proudly presents the prequel to Lützen (The World Turned Upside-Down):


ALBRECHT VON WALLENSTEIN

NARRATOR I (TILLY):
How does an awkward orphan,
son of gentry Bohemian Protestants,
dropped out of college,
in a forgotten spot of the Austrian provinces, impoverished, in squalor,
grow up to be a warlord and a scholar?

NARRATOR II (GUSTAVUS ADOLPHUS):
The drop-out loner without mother or father
got a lot farther by working a lot harder,
by being a lot smarter,
by being a self-starter;
at sixteen,
they placed him as valet to a certain margrave...

NARRATOR III (PAPPENHEIM):
And every day, while servants tended to their tasks and guarded
the grand baroque estate, he struggled and kept his guard up...
Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of...
Our stripling was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter!

Then, up to a ledge he came in a downpour of rain,
his footing slipped, slipped; and slipping down he came...
landed down on his two feet, a sudden jolt struck his brain,
and he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain...

NARRATOR I (TILLY):
Well, then word got around, they said "This kid is insane, at best!"
Took up a collection just to send him on a Grand Tour quest...
"Get your education,
don't forget from whence you came!
And the world is gonna know your name!
What's your name?"

YOUNG WALLENSTEIN:
Albrecht von Wallenstein...
My name is Albrecht von Wallenstein,
and there's a million things I haven't done,
but just you wait, just you wait...

NARRATOR IV (ISABELLA):
When he was ten, both his parents suddenly, tragedy, were bed-ridden...
Two years later, see Albrecht detached and from his guardians hidden...
half-sitting before a desk to read, the air real cold...
And Albrecht thought his college years would be worth gold...

NARRATOR III (PAPPENHEIM):
Moved into Altdorf, but there he committed social suicide...
Left him with nothing but ruined pride,
something new inside, a voice saying...
"ALBRECHT, YOU'VE GOTTA FEND FOR YOURSELF!!"
He started retreating and reading every treatise on the shelf...

There would have been nothing left to do for someone less astute;
he would have been dead or destitute, or even a male prostitute!
Started working, exerting himself for this margrave "as reward,"
pouring Cogniac and kirsch and all the things he can't afford...

Scamming (scamming...) for every book he can get his hands on
Planning (planning...) for the future; see him now as he stands on (planning...)
his own two feet, (oooooh...) headed from land to land... 
At the Court, you can be a new man! 

ALL NARRATORS: At the Court, you can be a new man! 
YOUNG WALLENSTEIN:
Just you wait...
ALL NARRATORS:
At the Court, you can be a new man! 
YOUNG WALLENSTEIN:
Just you wait...

ALL NARRATORS:
At the Court, you can be a new man! 
At the Court, at the Court...
YOUNG WALLENSTEIN:
Just you wait...

ALL NARRATORS:
Oh, Albrecht von Wallenstein...
Albrecht von Wallenstein...
We're waiting in the wings for you...
Waiting in the wings for you...
You could never back down...
you never learned to take your...
TI-I-I-IME!

Oh, Albrecht von Wallenstein...
Albrecht von Wallenstein...
When Romanticism sings for you,
will they know what you overcame,
will they know you rewrote the game?
The world will never be the same, o-oh...

NARRATOR I (TILLY):
The boy is at the Hofburg now, see if you can spot him!
(YOUNG WALLENSTEIN: Just you wait...)
NARRATOR V (KAISER FERDINAND II):
Another parvenu coming up from the bottom...
(YOUNG WALLENSTEIN: Just you wait...)
NARRATOR III (PAPPENHEIM):
His enemies destroyed his rep, Enlightenment forgot him...

TERZKY/ISOLANI/TILLY:
We fought with him!
PAPPENHEIM:
Me? I died for him!
FERDINAND II:
Me? I trusted him!
ISABELLA/PAPPENHEIM:
Me? I loved him!
GUSTAVUS ADOLPHUS:
Me? I defeated him!
LESLIE:
And me!? I'm the bloody fool that stabbed him!

EVERYONE:
There's a million things I haven't done,
but just you wait...
just you wait...

40-STH TILLY:
What's your name?
EVERYONE:
Albrecht von Wallenstein!!!