ON THE GOOD SHIP VENUS

 In my parody The Travesty of Othello, I had Iago entice Cassio to raise his ethyl consumption by means of, among other real-life songs, a pirate tune about a certain "good ship Venus."

The first stanza is merely the tip of the iceberg, for the whole song is comparable to the Aristocrats joke (the one where the family dad goes to see an agent and tells him about the whole family's activities in the realm of free... okay, maybe too free love)...
So I thought Iago, in my imagination, would sing this song (along with some Bellman and other folk songs) to get Cassio wasted. But, of course, the lieutenant would have it cut off at the first refrain. Anyway, some of you Travesty readers who have been curious would like the song UNCUT, no matter how long or how sexy it might be...

This is a version I have patched up from various other versions of the song...

THIS SONG IS NOT ADVISED FOR SENSITIVE READERS OR THOSE BELOW EIGHTEEN.
DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

Twas on the good ship Venus,

by Lord, you should have seen us!

The figurehead was a whore in bed,

and the mast a rampant penis...

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The captain's name was Lugger,

he was a filthy bugger,

declared unfit to shovel shit

from one place to another!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The first mate's name was Andy,

by Christ, he was a dandy!

They crushed his cock on a jagged rock

for cumming in the brandy!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The second mate was Morgan,

by Gosh, he was a gorgon!

From half past eight, he played till late

upon the captain's organ!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The third mate's name was Cooper,

by Christ, he was a trooper!

He jerked and jerked, until he worked

himself into a stupor!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The captain's wife was Mabel,

still young, and fresh, and able

to give the crew their daily screw

upon the chartroom table!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

Her elder daughter Charlotte

was born and bred a harlot:

her thighs at night were lilywhite,

by morning they were scarlet!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The captain's younger daughter

went swimming in the water...

delighted squeals came when moray eels

had found her private quarters!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

The cabin boy was Flipper,

a randy little nipper:

he laced his ass with broken glass

and circumcised the skipper!

Frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

frigging in the rigging,

there was fuck all else to do! 

Oh, and, by the way, there were ships called Venus at the service of various nations.