thaw my heart (and hope to die)

thaw my heart (and hope to die) - ie a femslash snow queen

When Gerda's best friend stops talking to her she is heartbroken. And when Kaisa is captured, Gerda knows she will walk to the end of the earth to get her back.

Or...

A retelling of the classic fairy tale, the Snow Queen, but with a genderbent (female) Kai, and also a genderbent prince and princess...

Also this is probably my current favourite fairy tale, i love it so much, its so detailed and whimsical. So yeah, it is a pretty self-indulgent fic.

I kept the relationship between Kai-sa and Gerda much how it is in the original, mainly a friendship but with an implication of romance.

 

 

Part 1 – The Magic Mirror

 

Once there was a magic mirror. An evil mirror. Everything good and true and beautiful reflected into it shrivelled away, while everything bad and untrue and ugly swelled up in its place. When it was newly made, some creatures got a hold of it. They delighted in it, for they were creatures of evil. After experimenting with the mirror, they came up with a cunning plan. They were going to fly it right up into the sky to reflect it on all of the world bellow.

 

Hearing this, the mirror became excited and began to cackle in delight. It’s laugh made it shake and shake, until the creatures could hold it no longer. It fell to earth and cracked into a million pieces.

 

Now, this was just the start of the trouble, for the smallest shards were smaller than even a grain of sand, and they got inside people’s eyes and made them view the whole world funny. The slightly larger shards were more dangerous still, for if they pierced one’s heart, it went cold, hard and unfeeling.

 

Part 2 – Kaisa and Gerda

 

A long time after this, there were two little girls that were next door neighbours and classmates. They lived in the most beautiful place, for they had the most wonderful little garden. Kaisa and Gerda had rooms in the attics of their houses and had windows that faced each other, so that if they wished they could clamber over into each other’s rooms. Both Kaisa and Gerda had attached a wooden box to their windows, and had planted in them a rose bush, which grew together in an arch.

 

They played outside all springtime and summer, but in winter they played inside each other’s houses, for it was cold, icy and snowing outside. During the winter months, Gerda’s Grandmother would sit them by the fire and tell them stories of the Snow Queen, with her storm of silver bees, who flies through the town and freezes the windows with patterns like flowers.

 

When the spring flowers were just beginning to bloom, Kaisa and Gerda were sitting outside, reading a story together.

“Ouch!” winced Kaisa.“My eye! My heart!” She clutched her hand to her heart and blinked ferociously. Gerda, concerned, put her arm around Kaisa’s neck.

“Are you all alright?”

“It must have gone.” Kaisa replied. But she was wrong. It hadn’t gone. Furthermore, it was a shard of that awful magic mirror which was now wedged firmly in her heart and her right eye.

 

“Ewww what are you doing?” Kaisa sneered. “And why do you wear your hair that like that. It looks ugly.”

 

From then on, Kaisa scorned and ignored Gerda. This broke poor Gerda’s heart, for she loved Kaisa deeply, and was convinced that the whole thing was her own fault.

 

Part 3 – The Snow Queen Appears

 

The next winter was so cold that the lake near the woods had frozen over, and the snow fell deep and clear. It was a child’s paradise. One afternoon, Kaisa took her sled and went to join the other children tobogganing. Gerda did not go too, as her own sled was broken, and she was sure Kaisa would not want her there.

 

Kaisa and the other children had great fun, and had begun playing a new game, were when an adult's troika came by, they would attach their sled to one of the runners and hitch a lift. The game was of great fun, but required risk and nerve. So naturally, when the grandest slay they had ever seen pulled up by the tobogganing hill, Kaisa was dared to tie her sled to it. Never one to back away from a dare, she sledged down the hill and quickly tied the sled to the troika.

 

It was a beautiful sleigh and it seemed almost to be made of ice. It had intricate snowflake patterns carved in, and sitting on top was a mysterious figure shrouded in white fur.

 

The lady in white turned round and smiled at Kaisa. She clicked the rains and the horses sped off. They rode over miles of snow. Every time Kaisa began to grasp at the rope to detach her sledge, the woman in white would turn around and smile at her. And so, they rode for many miles, the snowy scenery flashing by until the snow began to fall so fast that she could no longer see her hands in front of her face. She called at the top of her voice and pulled and tugged at the rope. But it was in vain, for no matter how loud she yelled, no one would ever hear her. No matter how hard she pulled and twisted, the rope would never be untied.

 

At last, they stopped and the woman stood from her seat.
“We have travelled far.” She said “but we have further yet to come. Why do you tremble like that?”

 

She held open her arms, and Kaisa stumbled gratefully into her cloak. The Snow Queen kissed her forehead, and Kaisa was no longer cold. Once more, the Snow Queen kissed Kaisa, and she lost all memories of Gerda, or her Grandmother or anyone she knew from home. And so little Kaisa followed the Snow Queen into her troika and fell asleep as they flew over the great arctic sea.

 

Part 4 – Gerda’s Journey

 

Little Gerda was very distressed when Kaisa did not return. All anyone could tell her was that Kaisa had attached her sled to a larger troika, and had not been seen since. Terrible rumours started that Kaisa had drowned in the thaw and that the river had taken her away. And so, Gerda went and talked to the river.
“Have you seen Kaisa ?” She asked. There was no reply.
“I’ll give you my new red shoes if you take me to Kaisa.” She bargained desperately. But the river still gave her no answer. She turned to the small fishing boat moored there. She thought that if she could get farther in, the river would hear her. However, the rope was rotten and old and it broke, sending the little boat, with poor Gerda in it downriver.

 

Gerda fought frantically for control trying desperately to steer and slow the little boat. Her efforts were in vain, but the thought came to her that maybe the river was directing her towards Kaisa.

 

Eventually, Gerda floated by a thatched cottage with the most amazing garden. The old woman inside spotted her and, using her cane, pulled the boat to the bank.
Gerda was tired and distressed, and kept asking the old woman if she had seen Kaisa. While Gerda explained her story, the old woman took her in and fed her.
“I once had a little daughter like you”. The old woman told Gerda as she tucked her in to bed, stroking her hair. The more the old lady stroked her hair, the less Gerda remembered about Kaisa and who she really was.
Once Gerda was asleep the old woman went into the garden. Fearing they would cause Gerda to remember Kaisa, she bewitched the rose bushes so that they shrunk deep into the ground. But she forgot about the flowers that decorated her hat; a rose was amongst them.

 

Gerda stayed at that little house for quite some time, and watched as the snowdrops and the daffodils and the crocuses flowered. The whole time she was playing in the garden she couldn’t help the feeling that there was something missing.

 

There came a day when the sun was particularly bright and glaring, and Gerda had complained about it shining in her eyes.
“You can borrow my hat dear.” The old woman offered. The hat was old, with a large brim decorated with dried flowers.

“Are the flowers from the garden?” Gerda asked

“Yes”

 

Gerda had noticed the preserved rose on the hat and it had stirred something deep in her memory. She placed the rose from the hat on the soil and up sprouted a whole bush of them. She cried, for she had remembered little Kaisa.

“Do you know where Kaisa is?” She asked the roses.

“We only know that she is not dead, as she was not with us below the ground, in the land of dead things.” The roses replied. Gerda asked the other flowers of the garden the same question, but none of them knew where Kaisa was.
A crow, who had overheard the conversation flapped down and said,

“I might have seen your Kaisa. But if I am correct, then she has forsaken you for a Prince.” The crow explained how he had seen a young woman go to the palace, where the crow’s wife worked, and how this girl had caught the attention of the Prince, and the two of them were now just married.

“Oh it’s Kaisa ” Gerda cried “I’m sure it is!”

Gerda was determined to the Palace to see Kaisa, and the crow was eventually persuaded to help sneak her in by the servant’s entrance. But when Gerda got to the castle, the Princess was not Kaisa.

 

The Prince and Princess were very shocked to be woken up in the middle of the night by a strange girl and a crow. However they soon took pity on Gerda, and decided to do all they could to help her out. They gave her a gold carriage for her to travel and look for Kaisa in and some new warm clothes.

 

The next morning Gerda set off, full of hope. They rode away from the Castle and through a thick, dark forest when the carriage began to rock and shake. They were being attacked by robbers!

 

The robbers stripped the carriage of all its gold, kidnapped the horses and killed the driver. If it was not for the little Robber Girl, Gerda would almost certainly have been killed too. However, the leader of the robbers, a rough ugly woman, had brought with her her daughter, and this little robber girl had taken quite a shine to Gerda.

 

And so poor, frightened Gerda was taken back to the robbers' little hut as a toy. The little Robber Girl was very curious about Gerda, and forced her to tell her whole story. The little girl was so touched by Gerda’s love for Kaisa and her determination that she promised to help her escape.

 

In their garden, the robbers kept a reindeer. The reindeer was able to tell Gerda that he had heard from the robber girl's wood pigeons that the Snow Queens sledge had been seen flying towards the North Pole with a small girl hostage in it.

“Reindeer.” the little Robber Girl demanded. “I will let you free, but only if you take this little girl to the North Pole to rescue her friend.” The Reindeer readily agreed and they were off.

Gerda and the Reindeer rode and rode, over forest and moor and marsh and snow. The day drew to a close and soon the sky began to flash green and pink.

“Those are my northern lights!” The Reindeer cheered. “We’re almost there.”

Gerda was very glad to hear it, and the beauty of the aurora detracted her from her aching and frozen toes. Slowly, shapes started to appear from the carpet of white snow. As they rode on, they got ever clearer. It was the Snow Queen’s Palace. It was made entirely of ice and was the tallest building Gerda had ever seen.

 

Part 5 – Reunion

 

Gerda wandered through the halls of ice until, at the heart of the palace she found a vast frozen lake. At the far end of the lake was a throne, made from a frozen waterfall. At its foot, was Kaisa.

“Kaisa!” Gerda cried out as she rushed towards her. But Kaisa didn’t know her. Gerda cried, and her tears dropped down onto Kaisa’s chest, thawing the ice within. As Kaisa remembered Gerda and her Grandmother and their little garden, she too began to cry, washing out the splinter of ice in her eye.

Gerda kissed Kaisa’s cheeks and brought the bloom back to them. She kissed Kaisa’s eyes so that they shone like her own. She kissed Kaisa’s hands and feet, so she may use them to escape.

And so, Gerda and Kaisa rode home together, across the land of snow and into there own. When they got home, little buds were peaking up through the grass. They bade farewell to the reindeer and walked through their beloved village. Everything was quite the same. Except for them, for they notice that they had grown up, and although they still felt children at heart, they were now adults.