TYWIN OF THE LANNISTERS

So the Kuvira filk will have to wait a little longer because of this bunny I had this morning in bed... thinking of that song, of Tywin's rise to power, and of the similarities between both cases. Also... when was the last time I did a Westeros filk? Et voilà!! This is the Tywin Lannister success story retold to the same tune...

TYRION:
How does an awkward orphan,
son of a womanizing drunkard,
dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot of the far Westerlands by Seven Gods, impoverished, in squalor,
grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

OBERYN:
The young loner, always so ashamed of his father,
got a lot farther by working a lot harder,
by being a lot smarter,
by being a self-starter...
by thirteen, he was cupbearer to the royal courtiers!

STEFFON:
And every day, while watching the ships sailing away across the water
from the ramparts of the Rock, he'd struggled and kept his guard up!
Inside, he was longing for something to be a part of;
our stripling was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter!

AERYS:
Then a heart attack came, his dad got this chest pain
while climbing up a staircase; the maester's skill was in vain...
At the funeral, he got that flash of passion in his brain,
and he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain!

TYRION:
Well, the word got around, they said: "He's with insanity frought!";
took up a collection just to send him to the royal court!
AERYS:
"Get your education, don't forget from whence you came,
and the world's gonna know your name!
What's your name?"

YOUNG TYWIN:
Tywin of the Lannisters...
My name is Tywin of the Lannisters...
and there are many things I haven't done,
but just you wait, just you wait!

JOANNA:
When he was ten, his mother closed her eyes forever, bedridden...
Two years later, see Tywin out of fear and shame hidden
away, of mistresses so sick, the scent thick...
EVERYONE, IN CHORUS:
And Tywin got better, but his father went quick...

AERYS:
Weary of his birthplace and Lannisters' social suicide,
left him with nothing but ruined pride, something new inside...
A voice saying:
EVERYONE, IN CHORUS:
"Tywin, you've gotta fend for yourself!"
AERYS:
Started retreating and reading every treatise on the shelf...

OBERYN:
There would have been left nothing to do for someone less astute;
he would have been dead or destitute, or made a fine male prostitute!
Started rising, visualizing his new future as a lord,
paying back all gathered debts for all the things he can't afford!
TYRION:
Scamming (scamming) for every book he can get his hands on!
Planning (planning) for the future, see him now as he stands on
the bow of a ship, (oooh) headed across the land...
In King's Landing, you can be a new man!

EVERYONE:
In King's Landing, you can be a new man!
YOUNG TYWIN:
Just you wait...
EVERYONE:
In King's Landing, you can be a new man!
YOUNG TYWIN:
Just you wait...
In King's Landing, you can be a new man!
In King's Landing, in King's Landing...
YOUNG TYWIN:
Just you wait...

EVERYONE, IN CHORUS:
Oh, Tywin of the Lannisters...
we're waiting in the wings for you...
You could never back down,
you never learned to take your
ti-i-i-i-ime!
Oh, Tywin of the Lannisters...
When Westeros sings for you,
will they know what you overcame?
Will they know that you changed the game?
The world will never be the same, oh-oh...

TYRION:
The ship is in the harbour now, see if you can spot him!
(YOUNG TYWIN: Just you wait...)
OBERYN: 
Another parvenu coming up from the bottom...
(YOUNG TYWIN: Just you wait...)
His enemies destroyed his rep, and Westeros forgot him...

STEFFON, BARRISTAN, AERYS:
We fought with him!
EDDARD:
Me? I died for him!
AERYS:
Me? I trusted him!
JOANNA, CERSEI, SHAE:
Me? I loved him!
OBERYN:
Me? I poisoned him!
TYRION:
And me? I'm the bloody fool that shot him!

EVERYONE:
There's a million things I haven't done,
but just you wait, just you wait...

YOUNG AERYS:
What's your name?

EVERYONE IN CHORUS:
Tywin of the Lannisters!!