OK. This has also quickly become one of my fave Story the Fourth AUs, both for its tone (like Sue/Reed by Elspeth), the way it develops both of my favourite characters in an OTP (like Roderich/Elizaveta by Shatterdoll), and the gender reveal at the end (completely unexpected AND a Shakespearean reference!!). Plus, it's got one of my all-time queer OTPs!!!
So: Story the Fourth of The Snow King, by NovaNara
Pairing: Irene Adler/Kate (Katirene)
In the kingdom – magic portals and all that, you know – there’s a princess. A wonderfully clever if fully ruthless one. You don’t really want to get on her bad side. A short time ago, while sitting on her throne, she became to sing a song, which went ‘Why should I not be married?’ Well, why not? She decided to marry, but she wanted someone at least as clever as she is. ‘Brainy is the new sexy,’ she proclaimed. ‘If my husband’s an idiot I might as well buy a sex doll for all the good he’d do.’ She announced it to the court ladies and they all acted so pleased – though one at least was way less than she pretended to be.
Newspapers were published immediately, with a border of hearts, and the monogram of the princess among them. There was a Twelfth Night quote too, in the midst, and it said that if any young bright man wanted to come and speak with the princess, he should feel free to; that the more amusing ones would have free hospitality; and that the most clever one would be chosen to marry the princess. The people came in crowds, but no one succeeded at first. It seems all the pomp around the princess left them quite dazed, and the best of them could only echo what she said, and you can imagine how annoying that was to her. She wanted conversation. Possibly intelligent conversation. Not an echo. After so many who barely dared to speak, our princess was starting to reconsider it all.
On the third day arrived someone, his eyes sparkling; very clear, beautiful eyes, and a soft, full mouth, like a girl’s. His clothes, though, were very poor and he had no horse or carriage.
He came into the palace, and saw the guards, and all the courtiers, and the ladies, and the princess’ court is so rich that each of the ladies’ maids has her own maid to look after her. But he went right up to the princess, who sat on a pearl as large as a spinning wheel, and he didn’t seem a mite embarrassed by his own poor attire, or by the despising looks he received and the murmurs that brewed up. And then he proclaimed that he wasn’t here to woo the princess, but to hear her wisdom. And the princess was very pleased with him, as he was with her, and found him very clever.
...by the front entrance – there are guards there that’d surely object... by the back staircase... a key, and... the sleeping quarters – just perfect.
...the garden of the palace, with its falling, golden leaves, the back door, which was conveniently ajar.
...the shadows that appeared to be following – having strangers and even the odd mythical creature slithering around from what one glanced at one's back – were no more than dreams that came to the great people in the castle.
“Well, at least if they’re asleep nobody will bother." ... traversed one number of halls, each one richer than the last, until to the princess’ chamber. The beds looked like orchids, with stems of gold and emeralds. The princess’ bedding was black as sin, and the other bed was purple.
The Prince in the purple bed had entirely burrowed under the covers, perhaps overly cold.
Technically speaking, it wasn’t even a Prince at all, but one very shapely woman with flowing red hair and kissable lips. The princess mentioned Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night in her announcement, and asked for someone clever…and she got it. A beautiful woman who did not mind posing as a male.
“Mmmm… Kate? What happens dear? Are you being naughty?” Princess Irene asked, waking up to the light in the room.
Irene laughed and said, “Far be it from me to punish or hinder someone following the course of true love.”
“Yes you are,” the princess replied, in a tone that said “that’s final.”
– nobody ate better than princess Irene after all,
“Our new friend will need somewhere to sleep for the night,” Kate remarked, raising shamelessly naked from her bed and coming to Irene’s. “Come on, let me snuggle you tonight. I promise you I won’t kick.”
... but princess Irene cut the protests with a sharp, “Nonsense. Get to sleep, now.”
Objecting to her wishes seemed really unwise, so ... thanked her quickly and slipped in the luxurious soft bed and slept.
The following day ... was offered a suit that would not have him disfigure in court, all golden silk with light blue accents, and invited to stay for a few days. Irene wanted to hear more about his clever friend.
...got a burgundy cardigan, and a scarf and warm gloves. And when ... left the palace ... found a golden carriage with the coat of arms of princess Irene, pulled by black horses, with a driver and two footmen – the whole nine miles.
.................................................................................................
With a bloody golden carriage, it’s no wonder that, while they are going through a thick forest, a group of robbers attacked them.
Driver and footmen were soon subdued...
...................................................................................................
asked after princess Irene and her spouse.
“They are gone. Honeymoon, you know. But I’ve heard rumours that they might want to live somewhere far from here. Can’t imagine why,” the robber-girl replied, with a little smile.
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