WHEN I WAS SIX

Here's a filk I have written on "When I was a Lad" from HMS Pinafore, telling my own experience so far.

WHEN I WAS SIX

Sandra Dermark, 30th of October 2015

When I was six, Nan was a fool

for sending me into a Catholic school.

She'd never think, when I got there,

that a Romanesque picture there gave me my life's scare!

With those dull eyes and lightbulb heads,

those apostles filled my child self with dread.

I didn't dare to tell anyone, you see,

so I would be worlds away from university.

Two months I spent at the Carmelites',

then the Department of Welfare saw I had those frights.

And to the Burrow thus I came,

they had not heard of Asperger's, so the Welfare folks I blame!

Since I was one of the few who could speak,

the institution's system soon I'd tweak,

made lemonade out of my adversity,

but still I was worlds away from university.

I spent in the Burrow up to my mid-teens,

when the Welfare folks came, told of changing scenes.

To public school I had to go,

and the leave-taking from my grown friends filled me with woe...

Four years of trial would ensue,

with so many hardships that I hardly made it through...

I'm glad for the end of adversity,

for coming to Jaime I University!

Well, every classmate was a twit,

not interested in high culture lit.

And then at Maths I had to lose,

and to change it for another subject I couldn't choose.

Everyone at class was a lout,

I spent recess in the library, not daring to come out

(and sign errors, by the way, made me always freak out).

Adiós, sign errors and reality TV!

They don't discuss it at Jaime I University!

When I was twenty, once in June,

I gave a speech, for I had to leave soon.

I thanked the teachers and the class,

but I didn't tell the twats that they could kiss my ass!

With flying colours, I came through,

and I finally became one of the happy few...

And now you find me presently

studying at Jaime I University!