STORY THE FOURTH: RETOLD AND UNCUT

  

STORY THE FOURTH: RETOLD AND UNCUT
A FAIRY TALE SUBPLOT REWRITTEN, EXTENDED, AND SPUN OFF


DRAMATIS PERSONAE
The female NARRATOR: who knows how the story will go and ties up every end that Andersen left loose. A bit of a Lemony narrator, but this barely matters. In fact, it's what makes her an interesting narrator.

FREDERICA: A princess who is extraordinarily clever, who desires a prince-consort as intelligent as she, and who contrives to marry her intellectual equal. Pale and delicate, yet fierce at heart, and as kind as she is fierce; with long wavy golden/titian hair and green eyes. Left-handed. At first lonely in all her brilliance, as well as weary with her own cleverness. The appearance of Frederick cheers her up a lot. Whimsical and eccentric. Stunning as well as remarkably smart. I envision the part as being made for Alicia Vikander.

FREDERICK: Her prince, formerly a middling young man, tall and thin with long dark curly hair and bright friendly sky-blue eyes, clean shaven, who comes to the palace and passes the test set by the princess to become prince. Left-handed as well. His life sounds like something out of a novel. I envision the part as being made for Richard Madden.
MAGNUS: The Regent of the Realm, guardian to Frederica and concerned about her welfare. May or may not be a usurper. I envision the part as being made for Charles Dance.
IDA: Handmaiden and confidante to Frederica, her best friend, and the sister she never had. Is far more naive. I envision the part as being made for Natalie Dormer.
MISS THORNWOOD: Frederica's former governess and maidservant-in-chief. The typical straitlaced but a tad eccentric British governess. In love with the Colonel. I envision the part as being made for Emma Thompson.
The COLONEL of the Royal Guards, in silver and blue uniforms. The typical stern and mature veteran flag officer. In love with Miss Thornwood. I envision the part as being made for Stellan Skarsgård.

MUNINN: A female tame crow, Frederica's pet, who has the run of the princess's palace. She lets a commoner into the royal bedchamber. Becomes Huginn's mate, and later on, his widow. She often listens to the court musicians, and plays music as well, plucking at the strings of the instruments when they are left unattended, and she is quite good at it.

HUGINN: A male wild crow, who follows the new prince of the land. Is made a courtier married to Muninn, but that does not last long.
GERDA: A flaxen-haired young peasant girl from the provinces (her hometown is called Rosenbruck) in search of her spirited-away best friend. I envision the part as being made for Evanna Lynch.
MARIA: A robber maiden, daughter of the female leader of their clan. A tomboy with matted raven hair, dark skin, and olive-green eyes. A bit spoiled and headstrong. She wears a red foxskin hat on her head, a grayish-blue military greatcoat too large for her, and a dagger and twin pistols at her sash belt. Appears wild, but has got a heart and a soft centre. I envision the part as being made for Natalia Tena.
A LORDLING, among the suitors. Wears old-fashioned seventeenth-century clothes and struts around like a frilled lizard. I envision the part as being made for Gethin Anthony.
A young LIEUTENANT (pronounced "leftenant") in uniform, among the suitors. A Miles Gloriosus kind of fellow: dashing and overconfident as any officer in his prime, yet few of his claims of glory are founded. I envision the part as being made for Finn Jones.
A young bespectacled GRADUATE, among the suitors. A cold fellow with scary shiny glasses, who tends to be sarcastic. I envision the part as being made for Alexander Skarsgård.
The ART PROFESSOR AT THE UNIVERSITY, among the suitors. A know-it-all in his late twenties. I envision the part as made for Kenneth Branagh.
ENJOLRAS, a cultured young student and bold revolutionary who happens to be among the suitors as well. He speaks with a French accent to denote his origins. I envision the part as being made for Aaron Kyle Tveit.
BENTLEY DRUMMLE (related to the Lordling), a dashing young posh landowner with an oversized ego and little consideration for others, who happens to be among the suitors as well. I envision the part as being made for Nikolaj Coster-Waldau.
The Reverend EBENEZER CAUDREY, a sympathetic young vicar with the face and the spirit of an angel, who happens to be among the suitors as well. There's no doubt that he is a Protestant clergyman. I envision the part as being made for Tom Felton.
The GENERAL DIRECTOR OF THE ROYAL PRESS, a serious gentleman. I envision the part as being made for Jason Isaacs.
A HERALD.
An USHER, whose duty is to guard the throne-room door. Dressed like the lackeys.
A COACHMAN, two FOOTMEN, and four OUTRIDERS.
HANDSOME YOUNG SUITORS, ADVISORS, FRENCH MAIDS, POWDERED VALETS, ROYAL GUARDS IN SILVER AND BLUE UNIFORMS, LACKEYS IN WHITE AND GOLDEN LIVERIES, DREAMS IN THE SHADOWY SHAPES OF A HUNTING PARTY AND A ROYAL FUNERAL, LORDS, GENTLEMEN, AND LADIES OF THE COURT.

Setting: The nameless kingdom or land where the Fourth Story of "The Snow Queen" takes place. More precisely, the princess's palace (both indoors and outdoors)... though the finale is set at the edge of the robbers' region, between fields and woods.
Around the late eighteenth, or early nineteenth century (Napoleonic era).

ACT ONE

PRELUDE
THE NARRATOR IN A QUIET WISTERIA-TRELLISED ARBOUR OF THE PALACE GARDENS, ON HER OWN. A LARGE KOI POND AND THE GRAND PALACE IN THE BACKGROUND. A MINUET PLAYS AS BACKGROUND MUSIC.
NARRATOR: You know, when I read The Snow Queen, I always read only Story the Fourth, with snippets of the Fifth and Seventh. Today is Andersen's birthday, a glorious day for every children's and fantasy literature lover. And, last night, I thought of a parody with songs intermixed into it. And I said to myself... why not write this affectionate parody and dedicate it to every Andersen supporter? So here it is!
(Clears her throat and opens a Snow Queen book at the start of Story the Fourth): Once upon a time, in a realm whose name Herr Andersen never gave us readers, and that we thus got to know merely as "the kingdom", or occasionally as "the land"... there lived a princess of unusual cleverness. The kingdom was ruled by her, and she was extraordinarily clever, endowed with the wit of Athena. In fact, she was so clever that she read all the newspapers and all the books in the whole world, seldom forgetting what was written in them, yet she had the wisdom to forget all the trifles that were also printed there. In fact, she subscribed to all the newspapers that were published in the whole world, and she read every gazette that was printed in the universe, seldom forgetting what was written in them, yet she had the wisdom to forget all the trifles that were also printed there. They said she owned as many books as her pet crow had feathers, and she studied art, and philosophy, and military tactics, and many other things, and she spoke French and Latin as easily as you please. (Pause.)
Has anyone of you wondered how she became so clever? The late king had made his daughter his heir, because the crown in the kingdom always went to the eldest, so he had her trained in statescraft instead of the usual occupations of blue-blooded young women.
(More convinced). But... there was another reason, a more serious and dramatic one. There was a war raging on, far from the palace yet still threatening the realm, and at court there were traitors and prospective usurpers behind every pillar. And, his life having been endangered many times before, he was not sure if he would return alive from the battlefield to embrace his darling wife and their only child again. As he did for the last time before riding off into the sunset at the head of his regiment. So the late king embraced his queen and their princess, kissing them goodbye and entrusting them to the care of his trusted advisor, Lord Magnus, who would be appointed regent should his liege not return alive. (Pause.)
And thus, the Queen sat in her parlour waiting and playing the spinet, while her daughter was being taught her first lessons in Rhetoric and in Mathematics by the best tutors that Lord Magnus himself had gathered from every corner of the world. The leading expert from every land and in every subject. Until the day when a wounded messenger in uniform stumbled into the throne room, bringing unexpected tidings from the war front.
There had been an engagement at the Blue Stream, an autumn mist enshrouding the green riverbank where both hosts had clashed. The second to last time the writer had seen the King in his life, his liege lord had disappeared into the fog, his trusty sword in his right hand, urging his nutbrown destrier into the fray.
With the ringing of steel and the raising of voices, no one cared until the setting sun gilded the waters of the stream and the lands where both friend and enemy slain lay, some wounded and in pain, others bereft of life. Then, in the eerie calm after the battle, a detachment assigned to round up the wounded had found their liege lord bereft of life, lying with his pale face down in a pool of blood, his cheerful blue eyes shut as if he were asleep, his chest and back shot and stabbed with many red wounds... solely dressed in a ragged and bloodstained shirt: the marauders who had rifled him had paid the iron price in weapons and armour, in fine clothes and modest jewelry.
This had been the decisive battle that put an end to the war, and it was won by the ranks of our realm, the enemy returning back to their own lands in respect of the deceased, whose demise was the cost of such a great victory.
Anyway, reading these words was so painful for the Queen that her loving heart broke. Literally. She fell to the ground, weeping blood and clutching her chest in pain. And then she was still.
When her husband's embalmed form returned from the battlefield, they were buried together, in the ivy-overgrown memorial at the end of the palace gardens, where their ancestors had been laid to rest for centuries. (Pause, then dries up a few tears.)
So our princess was left an orphan at an early age, with hazy memories of both her parents and a regent for a guardian. But little did it matter, for soon she had mastered the movements of the stars, (Counts with her fingers) and was able to write love poetry in the style of Sappho, quote Shakespeare and Ovid by heart, paint lovely pictures that seemed to be alive, play the spinet and the harp, compose heart-rending melodies, speak every Romance and Germanic language fluently, and marvel at the genius of René Descartes. She also enjoyed to carry out scientific experiments with frogs and rodents.
Her body had been raised in the same careful vein as her spirit, reared in the noble art of war, and now she was an excellent fencer and markswoman, able to disarm her own fencing master with real rapiers, to shoot a rabbit through the heart from a distance of fifty yards, to serve a tennis ball right where she had set her eyes for the ball to strike... and she had even been made immune to strychnine, should any plotters try to poison her. (Pause.)
And thus, having reached the age of eighteen years, having become a great warrior for her kingdom, as well as an eminent patron of the arts and sciences, she inherited the throne, which was entirely covered in pearls, the largest being the size of a tea-saucer. And the crown, which weighed rather heavy on her young head. In spite of this, she ruled for several months just as well as any prince could have done. Yet, in the end, with all that pressure and so many affairs of state to tend to herself... she wound up finding out that being a clever princess can be a lonely occupation. And a tiresome one as well. So one autumn day, as she was sitting on her throne, she grew weary, and thus, to distract herself, she began to sing a song, and that song was, by chance, the one with the verse "Journeys end in lovers meeting..." A few hours later, she turned to her advisors and spoke the following words:

SCENE I
THE THRONE ROOM: GILDED PLASTERWORK, GREAT SILVER MIRRORS, THAT GLOW WITH THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND CANDLES FROM THE CHANDELIERS ON THE CEILING. TAPESTRIES OF EROTIC CLASSICAL MYTHS. FREDERICA, WITH HER GOLDEN HAIR AS BRIGHT AS THE CANDLES, ON THE PEARLY THRONE. LORD MAGNUS AND THE OTHER ADVISORS STANDING BEFORE HER. TWO GUARDS AT THE DOOR, SHOULDERING ARMS. BACKGROUND MUSIC: A MILITARY FANFARE, FOLLOWED BY THE POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE MARCHES.
FREDERICA (singing): Oh, mistress mine, where are you roaming?
Oh, stay and hear! Your true love's coming,
that can sing but high and low!
Trip no further, pretty sweeting,
journeys end in lovers meeting,
every wise sage thus does know.
MAGNUS: Why such a painful song, Your Majesty?

FREDERICA (sighs): There's an idea, hidden in its words!

Oh why, oh why, should I not married be?

This song is not without its meaning, no! (Pause.)

Yet, though of all the lyrics I’ve made sense,

th'end of the song's harder than its first verse.
MAGNUS (bowing before her): Your Highness, we do wish you found a spouse,
to keep the bloodline of our dynasty
from foreign claims of fell usurpers free.
FREDERICA: And thus, Lord Regent, I decide to wed,
but only if I e'er could find a spouse
who knows what to say when I something ask,
who knows to speak, to parley, to reply:
for one just grand-looking or serious
would tiresome be, at the end of the day.
If a young man comes to me unafraid,
without wavering, he could be my prince.
What's more, the right one should express himself
only in choice terms, and display both wit
and elegance in discourse and response.
MAGNUS (rising, concerned): Won't you despair in finding what you seek?
FREDERICA (serious): "Nil desperandum" will now be my words,
determined as I am not to accept
a betrothal you would impose on me,
and to choose for myself, like Helen did,
within no matter which bloodline or rank,
a spouse my equal and worthy of me.
MAGNUS: Foolhardy maiden, to think so, my Liege.
FREDERICA: Then gather the entire court at once,
lords, ladies, officers, advisors too,
and dignitaries, at my beck and call,
within the palace gardens' arbour cool,
next to the koi pond, in wisteria shade.
I will share the idea I've had with them.
MAGNUS (before withdrawing): And so I will summon them all at once.
ALL OF THE ADVISORS WITHDRAW.

SCENE II
A QUIET WISTERIA-TRELLISED ARBOUR OF THE PALACE GARDENS, ON HER OWN. A LARGE KOI POND AND THE GRAND PALACE IN THE BACKGROUND. LONG STORY SHORT: THE BACKDROP OF THE PRELUDE. FREDERICA, WITH A DIARY IN HER HANDS, AND IDA ARE SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ARBOUR, LORD MAGNUS AND THE OTHER ADVISORS STANDING AT THEIR RIGHT SIDE BY THE COURTIERS, HIGH OFFICERS, AND SUBALTERN OFFICERS; THE LADIES AT THE LEFT SIDE. BESIDE IDA, THE COLONEL AND MISS THORNWOOD ARE STANDING, HOLDING HANDS. AFTERNOON. NO BACKGROUND MUSIC.
FREDERICA (announcing): Ladies and courtiers, officers and lords,
advisors, dignitaries from abroad,
your Crown Princess is now proud to announce
that she's determined to find a good spouse. (PAUSE)
(Ida claps her hands and cheers, and so do Miss Thornwood and the rest of the ladies.)
MISS THORNWOOD, COURT LADIES (elated): C'est charmant! 'Tis what we have told ourselves
day after day: "Why does Her Highness not
find a bridegroom and tie the knot at all?"
IDA: I'm glad you finally decide to wed,
and, as the only true friend you have got,
I would gladly your maid of honour be.
FREDERICA: Not long ago, sitting upon my throne,
I grew weary, and, to distract myself,
I had begun to sing a song of love,
by chance, a tune that meant: "Why not be wed?",

and I said to myself: “That’s an idea!

Of course! The song’s of meaning not bereft!”
Th'end of this song's harder than its first verse,
for I don't want an ordinary prince,
of those who can look good in uniform,
look only as if they were great personages,
smile not wearing their hearts upon their sleeves,
and always wait upon me hand and foot,
like every bachelor upon a throne
there is on Earth, whose names I have perused,
yet find no trace of one worthy of me.
Neither I'd like an older man of rank,
a solemn fellow, pretentious and grave:
such a curmudgeon would tiresome be.
MISS THORNWOOD: Good Lord! Then what sort of spouse would you like?
FREDERICA (clears throat and opens her diary): I want a true prince! Shines the sun by day?
I've listed all of my preferences here!
(reads singing from the diary): As someday it may happen that a bridegroom must be found,
I've got a little list,
I've got a little list,
of the features I would like in a young man to have around
and that never would be missed,
that never would be missed:
Must be dashing, brave and clever like no other one before.
And able to lead our armies on the field in case of war.
To encourage the fine creative arts in times of peace,
and on classical instruments play many a lovely piece.
And be a good fairytale writer, poet, and dramatist!
That never would be missed!
That never would be missed!
THE REST OF THE COURT, IN CHORUS
She's got them on the list,
She's got them on the list,
and may none of them be missed!
May none of them be missed!
FREDERICA (Still singing): He must be sensitive, pure-hearted, kind and considerate,
and a skilful lyricist!
I've got that on the list!
And not clingy, jealous, or indifferent to me, I relate.
That never would be missed!
That never would be missed!
A real aesthete, a connoisseur, even Échanson de France,
with a Legion of Honour if I ever had the chance,
or won some other precious international award
that to his many talents and his good use is reward.
The charms of other ladies at our court he must resist!
That never would be missed!
That never would be missed!
THE REST OF THE COURT, IN CHORUS
She's got them on the list,
She's got them on the list,
and may none of them be missed!
May none of them be missed!
FREDERICA (Still singing): And he must be immune to strychnine, to survive poisoning plots!
On that feature I insist!
I've got that on the list!
And a good swordsman and marksman, for like me there are not lots!
That never would be missed!
That never would be missed!
Not addicted to any substance that wreaks havoc on our brain,
and as immune to strychnine he must sure be to iocaine!
For hair colour, and eye colour, and skin tone I don't care:
brave, clever, young, handsome, and sensitive, be dark or fair!
Thus, every condition matters that I've put upon the list!
May none of them be missed!
May none of them be missed!
THE REST OF THE COURT, IN CHORUS
She's got them on the list,
She's got them on the list,
and may none of them be missed!
May none of them be missed!
None of them be missed!
(Everyone cheers, except Miss Thornwood, who looks sternly at Frederica)
IDA, COURT LADIES (pleased, clapping hands): We're very glad, Your Highness, to hear this!
We had the same idea the other day!
'Tis the very thing we were thinking of!
MISS THORNWOOD (sternly): Your intentions are thus to us made known,
and this, to much rejoicing and acclaim.
Yet allow me, my Liege, to disagree.
A needle in a haystack's what you seek,
and, what's harder, a needle made of gold!
FREDERICA (equally sternly): You have not heard what I the Regent told.
"Nil desperandum" will now be my words,
determined as I am not to accept
a betrothal you would impose on me,
and to choose for myself, like Helen did,
within no matter which bloodline or rank,
a spouse my equal and worthy of me.
MISS THORNWOOD (sternly): And you know Helen's choice started a war!
FREDERICA: Yet I'm not Helen, though equally fair,
and we're now in the nineteenth century.
I'll write a proclamation with these hands
in French, Latin, and our Germanic tongue,
and once 'tis ready, it will copied be...
IDA (curious): And in our realm's newspaper soon appear?
FREDERICA: You know I would have never done like that,
it'd draw too many ordinary men,
but rather, within these three kingdoms' reach,
to every regiment and college send,
affixing it with nails to their hard doors.
IDA: That would be one more step to what you wish!
FREDERICA: Maid Ida, my good friend, now I retire
the trilingual proclamation to write.
When I'm ready, I'll ring a bell. Then, call
the General Director of the Press.
IDA: He'd be pleased your wise words to replicate.

SCENE III
THE PALACE LIBRARY, WELL STACKED WITH BOOKS ON EVERY WALL AND TEN OVERSIZED AND COMPLETELY STOCKED BOOKCASES, CROWNED BY MARBLE BUSTS OF MINERVA/ATHENA AND THE NINE MUSES. FREDERICA SITTING ON HER OWN ON A LOUIS XV CHAIR OVER ONE OF THE TWELVE LOUIS XV TABLES, LINED WITH SIMILAR CHAIRS, THAT FILL THE LIBRARY. SHE IS READING THE CRITIQUE OF PURE REASON BY KANT. ENTER IDA, FOLLOWED BY THE GENERAL DIRECTOR, WHO IS HOLDING A STACK OF PINK PAPERS.
IDA: The General Director of the Press!
(Frederica gets up and shuts her book.)
GENERAL DIRECTOR (bending the knee): I'm the head printer of the Court Gazette,
which is here published, in the craftsmen's wing.
And well I know the history of the realm,
but ne'er seen crowns on such a clever head
as that of you, my soon betrothed Liege.
Though of strange languages I little know,
I sense your spelling is still excellent.
Please check the prints, to see if they are fine.
FREDERICA: With a border of flaming hearts around,
interspersed with roses in the garlands,
and my monogram, two entwining F:s,
that are my initials, as you well know,
fulfilling my own personal request!
IDA: And, prithee, what stands in these lovely sheets?
FREDERICA: It's in Latin and French too: just for you,
I will give the requirements in your tongue,
and let my list of style and titles be,
for, counting all my names, titles, and ranks,
it takes up a third of what can be read: (clearing her throat, then talking as if she were giving a speech):
"Whichever handsome, good-looking young man,
of fairest figure and most comely shape,
attractive and young, regardless of rank,
of age between twenty and twenty-five,
is free to visit our kingdom's court
and to Crown Princess Frederica speak.
The ones who reply loud 'nough when addressed
will in our throne room make themselves at home,
but the most well-spoken and eloquent,
who speaks most naturally and at ease,
the one whose intellectual qualities
and moral virtues tower o'er them all,
the one who is as clever as Our Liege,
and unafraid of both her wit and mien,
will reach Crown Princess Frederica's hand,
for thus has she planned this test-interview,
chosen by her for lawful wedded spouse.
The Grand Palace, the Kingdom with No Name,
third of November, eighteen and fifteen."
(Ida and the General Director clap their hands and cheer).
GENERAL DIRECTOR (bending the knee): And now, my Liege, what is your next command?
FREDERICA: Call messengers, and hand over these sheets,
and let them this important order heed: (clearing her throat, then talking as if she were giving a speech):
Within this realm and those two that are near,
our old ally and our old enemy,
this should be fixed on every college door,
not missing any University,
and that of every officers' quarters.
Surely, clever young men will read my words.
GENERAL DIRECTOR (rising up): So it shall be, my Liege, your will be done.
(To himself) Though I express surprise, in sooth, at this
unusual method of selecting a husband.
THE GENERAL DIRECTOR LEAVES. FREDERICA AND IDA ARE LEFT ALONE. MUNINN, THE PET CROW, COMES IN FLYING THROUGH THE WINDOW.
FREDERICA: Now, Muninn, I think you deserve some corn. (feeds Muninn from her cupped hand)
(To Ida) Maid Ida, sister I had never got,
I hope someday soon I will find the one! (sighs)
The right one, who will respite for me find
from this ennui born of my rapier wit! (sighs)


SCENE IV
THE GREAT AVENUE OF THE ROYAL GARDEN, A TREE-LINED PROMENADE WHERE THE LEAVES ARE FALLING ONE AFTER ANOTHER FROM THE GOLDEN LINDENS. SUITORS ARE STANDING IN LINE ALL THE WAY FROM THE GARDEN WALL TO THE PALACE FRONT ENTRANCE, FROM CLOSEST TO FARTHEST FROM THE DOOR: THE LORDLING, THE LIEUTENANT, THE GRADUATE, THE ART PROFESSOR AT THE UNIVERSITY, REVEREND CAUDREY, ENJOLRAS, BENTLEY DRUMMLE. THE FALLEN LEAVES CRUNCH BENEATH THEIR FEET. TWO GUARDS STAND BEFORE THE DOOR, SHOULDERING ARMS. BACKGROUND MUSIC: FÜR ELISE.
(The Lordling enters the palace through the front entrance. The other suitors look on).
LIEUTENANT: Another failure, as I still expect?
For everyone that enters leaves deranged.
One after th’other, they’re all sent away.
GRADUATE (sarcastic): Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
DRUMMLE: Yet is she every bit as beautiful
as that good proclamation I have read?
ENJOLRAS: You'd bet she would make a nice wench for Zeus,
yet he'd grow weary of her speech and wit.
GRADUATE: She'll turn an old maid, if this scorn keeps on.
CAUDREY: An old maid? Lord of Light! She's royalty!
And too young and too pure to fornicate!
ART PROFESSOR: I'm now growing impatient, to begin.
The others all look foolish standing there,
jabbering at one another away,
like many crows, as practice for the time
to get inside, for the moment of truth.
And my head's throbbing, that is the result.
(The Lordling reappears, pale and astonished. The whole queue moves forward.)
ENJOLRAS (To the Lordling): What ever did occur within those halls?
Tell us, good friend, and maybe we will find
the answer to the riddle deep within.
LORDLING (shuddering, with a quivering voice): Once I crossed the front entrance, great and grand…
The guards were dressed in blue with silver lace,
the officer stood proud with sword and plume.
There were two rows, dressed in mess uniform.
Yet when I entered this grand court's grand halls,
through a staircase with lovely lackeys lined,
youths in a white and golden livery,

the monumental staircase I was led

up by the striplings, dazzling with brocade...
I was led through a vast mirror-lined hall,
full of gold chandeliers that blazed with light...
I felt th'ideas tangle in my head.
Then I lost speech. I even do forget
the splendour of the throne-room, the most grand.
I could not look a person in the eye...
And thus, methinks I'll head for my estate,
more modest, cooler things to contemplate. (He leaves)
LIEUTENANT (confidently): That's a frilled lizard of a gentleman!
I'm a true warrior, on the other hand.
Never of uniforms I've been afraid,
or sharp rapiers, or glitt'ring bayonets,
and even proved my mettle on the field,
baptised with sword and powder, fire and blood.
And never have I backed before the foe,
why should I flee this battle I must face?
I'll be Crown Princess Frederica's spouse!
The queue is long and slow since long ago,
but it will pretty soon come to an end!
I'm next in line! Alea iacta est! (He enters the palace)
ART PROFESSOR (whispering to the Graduate): That's a miles gloriosus, I would say.
A self-confident military man,
a subaltern officer, in this case,
so reverent towards authority,
so haughty towards those below his rank,
whose ego has him make unfounded claims,
of which, at best, a little part is true.
Like Captain Matamoros, whom you may
have seen in comedy or pantomime.
ENJOLRAS (whispers): This one's one step below: "Lieutenant Gauche"! (laughs)
ART PROFESSOR: You've said the right words, Monsieur Enjolras!
Let's see if he fares right as we expect!
(The Lieutenant reappears, flushing red, and he takes a drink from the canteen on his belt. The whole queue moves forward.)
GRADUATE (sarcastic): As everyone expected in this queue.
What, Herr Lieutenant? Did you share their fate?
LIEUTENANT (loudly and irate): Once I crossed the front entrance, great and grand…
The guards were dressed in blue with silver lace,
the officer stood proud with sword and plume.
There were two rows, dressed in mess uniform.
I stopped and gave each one a warm salute.
Yet, when I entered this grand court's grand halls,
through a staircase with lovely lackeys lined,
youths in a white and golden livery,

the monumental staircase I was led

up by the striplings, dazzling with brocade...
I was led through a vast mirror-lined hall,
full of gold chandeliers that blazed with light,
reflecting upon many a looking-glass,
forcing my sight down to the marble floor.
And, every now and then, I took a sip
of schnapps from this canteen here on my belt,
for I'd grown thirsty, and I stood in awe,
to quench my thirst and steel my flinching heart.
I felt th'ideas tangle in my head. (In a louder tone.)
And thus opened the throne-room's baroque doors
and there, upon a throne covered in pearls,
which might as well have been a throne of swords,
She sat there, in a green embroidered gown,
her hair as golden bright as th'candle-light
that shone on silver mirrors on the walls
covered in trompe-l'oeil gilded plasterwork
and tapestries depicting risqué myths.
Those locks appeared to be made of fire-light.
And I doubted that she a mortal be,
taking her for a goddess or a fey.
And 'round her stood the flower of her court:
counts, and barons, and knights, and officers,
each one accompanied by wife and child,
each courtier dressed in all their finery,
and all the servants that attend to them.
To the left of her, all her court ladies,
with their maids, and the ladies' maids' maids too.
To the right of her, all her courtiers,
with their valets, and valets' valets too.
The closer they were to the throne room door,
the lower was their rank, prouder their look,
the more imposing and redoubtable.
Even the servants wore fine cloth of gold,
and shone as bright as every looking-glass.
The officers wore plumes and epaulettes,
silver on blue, medals, and aiguillettes.
And, though I wear my best mess uniform,
and have half the canteen under my belt (patting his waist),
I felt myself so strangely out of place
I stared downward, not meeting any eye,
and could but repeat the last words she'd said:
(in falsetto) "It's rather hot here for an autumn day!"
She must have surely grown weary of me,
for, as you see, she now sends me away
with a most graceful flicker of the wrist!
(Enraged, he takes off his own tricorn, which he then tears at).
GRADUATE: Which certainly is every suitor's fate.
LIEUTENANT: I'd gladly stay here for another try,
yet my leave ends within three fated days.
To my land and the fortress where I live
my steps must take me. Princess, au revoir! (He leaves, waving goodbye at the palace.)
ART PROFESSOR: The young miles gloriosus who just left
deserved his fate, for being slightly gauche.
In liquid courage he had placed his trust!
As something is no longer beautiful
it is no longer meant for a good use.
Such is my motto, true as that I be
Art Professor at University.
ENJOLRAS: What's more, he kept that hip flask to himself,
as we asked for to quench our burning thirst...
From the fountains we can't e'en take a sip!
I think I heard him say... "Beyond your reach
she is: thus, let the words choke in your throats!"
(The sun begins to set. A guard locks the door. The leaves of the linden fall one after the other, as the lights on the palace façade are put out one after the other. Each suitor stretches out his coat on the floor or takes out a blanket from his knapsack.)
ENJOLRAS (as he lays out his red coat): The sun now sets, a guard now locks the door,
the façade lights vanish now one by one by one.
The next inn is eternities away.
Why not encamp in this great avenue,
that leads straight to the pathway of our dreams,
and sleep soundly, bereft of all concern,
under the starry night sky's canopy
and on this linden carpet of gold leaves?
(The other suitors claim they agree, with gestures.)
To this proposal no one disagrees.
All right, tomorrow is another day!
Success is in the Gods' lap, friends. Bonne nuit!
(All the suitors lay down on their improvised beds and fall asleep.)

SCENE V
THE THRONE ROOM: GILDED PLASTERWORK, GREAT SILVER MIRRORS, THAT GLOW WITH THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND CANDLES FROM THE CHANDELIERS ON THE CEILING. TAPESTRIES OF EROTIC CLASSICAL MYTHS. FREDERICA, WITH HER GOLDEN HAIR AS BRIGHT AS THE CANDLES, ON THE PEARLY THRONE. IDA AT HER LEFT SIDE AND LORD MAGNUS TO HER RIGHT. LORDS AND LADIES, HIGH OFFICERS OF THE REALM, OFFICERS OF ROYAL GUARDS AND DIGNITARIES, AND THEIR SERVANTS GATHERED AROUND THEM IN A SEMICIRCULAR FORMATION: MALES TO THE RIGHT AND FEMALES TO THE LEFT OF THE THRONE, THE CLOSER THE HIGHER THE RANK, IN ALL THEIR FINERY: EVEN THE SERVANTS WEAR CLOTH OF GOLD. MUNINN STANDING OR SITTING BEFORE FREDERICA. MISS THORNWOOD NEXT TO IDA AND THE COLONEL NEXT TO THE REGENT. AT THE DOOR, TWO GUARDS, AN USHER, AND A HERALD. BACKGROUND MUSIC: ZADOK THE PRIEST.
IDA (To Frederica): One day, and you have not yet found the one!
FREDERICA: No wounds have healed within a day and night.
MAGNUS: You have turned many a good party down!
FREDERICA: Lord Regent, Maiden Ida, courtiers all!
One day is not enough to win a war,
neither for such a painful wound to heal.
Scholars and alchemists and learned men
have come in crowds, until this very hall
was nigh crowded with crow-men in black gowns.
And officers in full mess uniforms,
and bold young students, sure of their own worth.

The youths who've come to this test-interview

are interesting and look good indeed,

yet stand in awe of me and cannot speak.
Young men from far and wide come left and right,
from distant lands, to have a chance to woo...
Many wish for a crown, yet rather few
have what it takes to reach their Holy Grail.
But to meet the requirements I want
no one has been able, no, yesterday.
I bet my life they speak well on the streets,
or on the pathway that has brought them here,
or in a courtyard, or a lecture hall...
but once they've entered this grand court's great halls,
and see my guards, in full mess dress as well,
standing proud and cold, in silver and blue,
and lackeys' liveries of gold brocade,
and the brightly lit halls atop the stairs,
and silver mirrors, gilded plasterwork,
trompe-l'oeil, marble, and rose-red tapestries,
and those that depict myths of ages past,
and thousand chandeliers that blaze with light,
and courtiers dressed in all their finery...
IDA: We all put on our best just for your sake!
Even the servants here wear cloth of gold!
FREDERICA: When they crossed the grand front entrance, and saw

our royal guard’s formation in two rows,

they lost their swagger and self-confidence.

And, when our powdered lackeys led them up

the monumental staircase, all men felt

ideas entangle within their heads.

And, when they were led into the Great Hall,

lighted by countless golden chandeliers...
Then, speech forsook them, confidence as well,
and uneasiness filled their throbbing hearts
as their minds clouded with the dazzling sights
of these great halls and my grand entourage,
but, most of it, mine on the Pearly Throne,
sitting there in my royal majesty:
a goddess or a fey with hair of light,
bright as the sun and lovely as the moon,
as dreadful as an army on the field.
Neither of them would look me in the eye.
Though they had, for such an occasion, donned
their best academic robes of black silk,
mess uniforms, and students' clubs' attire,
they grew nervous, and felt their muscles tense...
they felt themselves unworthy of the place,
entranced, as if they had consumed some drug,
or were under a charm, or mesmerised...
as if a narcotic clouded their minds.
One might as well say these star-crossed young men
were under an enchantment, a strange charm,
overcome by my fierceness, beauty, wit.
And thus, they could do nothing but repeat
the last words I had said upon the throne:
"It's rather hot here for an autumn day!"
They did not know what else to say at all.
To hear my own echo I will not care.
It does not interest me very much.
You know, c’est ne pas du tout mon affaire.
So I knew just what to expect of them
from just this first impression, nothing more.
They either froze or stumbled on their words.
And thus, I soon grew weary of each man,
and sent them away, one by one by one,
with a most graceful flicker of the wrist.
And the trance lasts till they return outdoors,
where each of them says what he'd speak to me,
at the same time. It's a chaotic choir,
where no one can each other understand.

Just like the queue that waits to get in here,

jabberwocking at one another as

practice for when they enter this throne room.

These fools enter deranged and leave deranged.

And, the more suitors I have sent away,

the more arrive: like sewn from dragon teeth,

they seem to spring in throngs up from the ground.
IDA: Redoubtable you are, so is this court.
But will there be somebody unafraid?
A dashing and learned young man, not shy here?
FREDERICA: Anyone who speaks well within this hall,
without losing his face, as if at home,
will have my hand and the key to my heart.
I hope so. Today is the second day.
And it will be far harder than before:
advisors and dignitaries now roam
the corridor of mirrors with bare feet,
no... wearing satin slippers, soft as paws,
not to make any noise before the throne,
wearing brocade, with golden tableware.
While our choir, here, sings "Zadok the Priest".
Is there a young man bold enough to dare?
Let guards and usher open up the door!
Let herald name each suitor who gets through!
HERALD: A graduate in black silk, with spectacles!
(Enter the Graduate, pale and shivering nervously.)
FREDERICA: It's rather hot here for an autumn day!
GRADUATE (stuttering and fidgeting with his hands, looking down): Uh-uh!
FREDERICA (mildly irate, flicking the wrist): Is "uh-uh" all you've learned and had to say?
Guards! Lead this youth outdoors, send him away!
(The guards send the Graduate away, holding him by the shoulders.)
IDA (sarcastic): There goes another one. How many now?
So many, my hands don't suffice to count!
MAGNUS: The next suitor is older, more mature,
a connoisseur and aesthete, even he's
Art Professor at University!
(Enter the Art Professor, who looks around in all directions, eyes wide open and gaping widely)
FREDERICA: It's rather hot here for an autumn day!
ART PROFESSOR (slurred, distracted): It's rather hot here for an autumn day...
FREDERICA (mildly irate, flicking the wrist): Is that all you have learned and had to say?
Guards! Lead him out of doors, send him away!
Besides, he surpasses the age threshold
by a few years, yet he wished to see me...
At least that need was sated, after all!
(The guards send the Art Professor away, holding him by the shoulders, as he keeps on looking around in all directions.)
MAGNUS (sternly): This day's sun will, like others', go to bed,
and surely you'll remain without a groom,
an old maid, by usurpers soon deposed.
FREDERICA (cheerfully): Two days are more than one, yet little time,
and proverbs say that third time is the charm!
MISS THORNWOOD: Let's see if old proverbs are really right,
after third day replaces second night.

SCENE VI
THE GREAT AVENUE OF THE ROYAL GARDEN, WHERE THE LEAVES ARE FALLING ONE AFTER ANOTHER FROM THE GOLDEN LINDENS. SUITORS ARE STANDING IN LINE ALL THE WAY FROM THE GARDEN WALL TO THE PALACE FRONT ENTRANCE, WHICH IS FLANKED BY TWO GUARDS. FROM CLOSEST TO FARTHEST FROM THE DOOR: REVEREND CAUDREY, ENJOLRAS, BENTLEY DRUMMLE, FIVE OR SIX MORE RANDOM SUITORS. THE FALLEN LEAVES CRUNCH BENEATH THEIR FEET. TWO GUARDS STAND BEFORE THE DOOR, SHOULDERING ARMS. IT'S MID-MORNING. BACKGROUND MUSIC: FÜR ELISE.
ENJOLRAS: The more suitors that have been sent away,
the more arrive: like sewn from dragon teeth,
they seem to spring in throngs up from the ground.

More linden leaves fall in this promenade,
more golden leaves that crunch beneath my feet.
That was the second night I here encamp,
today the third day. Will I soon succeed?
If not, I will return back home to France,
to my studies and revolution's fray.
Besides, I'd rather shun a lady's hand,
and stay accompanied by gentlemen.
(Enter Frederick, alone, marching boldly and cheerfully up to the palace, by the side of the queue. He is dressed in a mixture of military and civilian attire: knapsack or satchel, boots, and breeches, but with a dark waistcoat, a white shirt under it, and a knitted cap. His clothes are dirty and sun-bleached, and his boots creak loudly as he walks. Huginn, skipping, follows Frederick.)
FREDERICK: One, two! Left, right! One, two! Left, right! One, two!
ALL SUITORS: Who's this one, with bright eyes and long dark hair?
DRUMMLE: What a rude chap, to cut in line like that! (Frederick passes by his side and winks at him.)
ENJOLRAS: What a queer chap, to be dressed just like that! (Frederick passes by his side and winks at him.)
CAUDREY: What a bold chap, to enter just like that! (Frederick passes by his side and winks at him.)
(Frederick cuts in line before Caudrey, who bends his head in prayer. Huginn stops by the vicar's side.)
FREDERICK (confidently, as he marches forth): On horseback and on carriage many come,
to give the air of dashing gentlemen.
I march on foot, with good cheer, jauntily.
DRUMMLE: His sky-blue eyes sparkle with confidence,
his pace is steady, he walks on his own...
ENJOLRAS: His queer clothes are all so faded and worn!
Ink on his fingers, and his gloves are torn!
And those boots creak so loud we all can hear!
Surely, he's travelled the wide world for years!

Yet, ‘neath the filth, a fair ephebe I see,

as good-looking, perchance better, than me.
CAUDREY (hands folded, praying): From Satan's spawn, that cuts in queues or lines,
disturbing peace, deliver us, Our Lord!
(Frederick, without paying attention to Caudrey's words, approaches the guards at the palace gate.)
FREDERICK (saluting the guards): It must be dull to stand there all day long.
I think that I would rather go inside!
Good morn, Sergeant, and Corporal, good morn,
and please send your Lieutenant my regards.
(He enters the palace through the front entrance, as the guards smile at him.)

SCENE VII
THE MONUMENTAL STAIRCASE LEADING UP TO THE HALL OF MIRRORS. MARBLE BALUSTRADES WITH NINE BUSTS OF THE NINE MUSES LINE THE STAIRCASE, COVERED IN A CRIMSON VELVET CARPET. CANDLESTICKS LIGHT THE CEILING. THERE ARE GUARDS AT EVERY DOORWAY AND ROWS OF LACKEYS ALONG THE STAIRS, LEANING ON THE BALUSTRADES. ENTER FREDERICK, WHOM THE LACKEYS EYE WITH INDIGNATION. BACKGROUND MUSIC: ZADOK THE PRIEST.
FREDERICK (calmly): So grand, so bright, redoubtable's this sight
of guards in blue and silver uniforms,
and lackeys' powdered wigs and cloth of gold,
and stairs lined with nine marble maids of song,
yet I've seen many a ruler's court before,
and baroque splendour won't faze me at all.
The only thing I notice that I feel
is an urge to speak in pentameter,
which I don't comprehend or understand.
Perchance it's the enchantment of these halls,
so grand, so full of beauty and of wealth?
Some unseen chorus sings "Zadok the Priest"...
They are preparing my reception now... (Pause.)
Guess I shall greet them, and go deeper in,
towards the greatest prize I'll ever win!
No matter if my clothes are odd and worn,
bleached by the sun, darkened by filth for years,
or if this soldier's boots creak dreadfully,
or if this student's hands are stained with ink...
I will address the princess on her throne!

FIRST LACKEY: Young man, wait at the foot of this staircase

until your name is called in the throne room.

FREDERICK (to the lackeys, cheerfully): Merci, bonnes gens, car c’est trop ennuyeux.

It must be tiresome to stand all day there! (He walks up the staircase, nodding at the lackeys and at the busts of the Muses. His boots still creak loudly.)

SECOND LACKEY (to FIRST LACKEY, whispering): He marches up without waiting at all!

FREDERICK: I will go deeper in, boldly I dare!

Sorry for you! Alea iacta est!

(When he has reached the top of the staircase, he salutes the guards, smiling at them.)
FREDERICK (saluting the guards): Good morn, Sergeant, and Corporal, good morn,
and please send your Lieutenant my regards.
(He enters the corridor through the door, as the guards smile at him.)

SCENE VIII
THE CORRIDOR OF MIRRORS LEADING TO THE THRONE ROOM. THE WALLS ARE HUNG WITH MIRRORS IN GILDED FRAMES THAT GLOW WITH THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND CANDLES FROM THE CHANDELIERS ON THE CEILING. THE FLOOR IS OF BLACK AND WHITE MARBLE LAID IN SQUARES LIKE A CHESSBOARD. AT THE END OF THE CORRIDOR, THE OPEN DOOR TO THE THRONE ROOM, FLANKED BY TWO GUARDS SHOULDERING ARMS. ADVISORS AND DIGNITARIES IN CLOTH OF GOLD WALK ABOUT THE CORRIDOR, WEARING SATIN SLIPPERS, CARRYING GOLDEN TRAYS IN THEIR FINELY GLOVED HANDS. ENTER FREDERICK, WHOM THE STATESMEN EYE WITH INDIGNATION. BACKGROUND MUSIC: ZADOK THE PRIEST.
FREDERICK (marching cheerfully forwards): There's, in this hall, splendour so grand and great,
that even Mercury himself would flinch.
So many nobles dressed in cloth of gold,
carrying golden trays in their soft hands,
mincing about on delicate bare feet...

no… sheathed in slippers soft as paws of cats,

not to make any noise before the throne...
While here am I, both learned man and of war,
so young, yet so experienced and inured,
my old clothes sun-bleached are, faded and worn,
my fingers stained with ink, these boots creak loud:
the odd one out at this elegant court.

With indignation they look down on me,

yet I pay no heed to their ice-cold sneers.
Yet I feel welcome rather than left out!
Oh, Gods! What can the reason for it be?
Experience, bravery... or something else?
(He greets the advisors and the dignitaries, one by one, with a smile, slightly tipping his cap.)
FREDERICK (smiling at the nobles): Good morn, Your Lordship! And good morn to you!
Good morn, Your Lordship! And good morn to you!
Good morn, Your Lordship! And good morn to you!
(To himself) You're a foolhardy lad, young Frederick!
Will disappointment crush your hopes and dreams?
Or will you, like before, resist despair?
Where's that confident, shining savoir-faire
that carried you so far in the wide world?
No matter if your clothes are odd and worn,
or if this soldier's boots creak dreadfully,
or if this student's hands are stained with ink...
No matter if, with indignation cold,
statesmen and lords cast piercing glares at you,
pay no heed, Frederick, and go straight on:
you will address the princess on her throne!
(Now he stands before the door of the throne room, saluting the guards smiling, like before):
FREDERICK (saluting the guards): It must be dull to stand there all day long.
I think that I would rather go inside!
Good morn, Sergeant, and Corporal, good morn,
and please send your Lieutenant my regards.
(He enters the throne room through the open door, as the guards smile at him.)

SCENE IX
THE THRONE ROOM: GILDED PLASTERWORK, GREAT SILVER MIRRORS, THAT GLOW WITH THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND CANDLES FROM THE CHANDELIERS ON THE CEILING. TAPESTRIES OF EROTIC CLASSICAL MYTHS. FREDERICA, WITH HER GOLDEN HAIR AS BRIGHT AS THE CANDLES, ON THE PEARLY THRONE. IDA AT HER LEFT SIDE AND LORD MAGNUS TO HER RIGHT. LORDS AND LADIES, HIGH OFFICERS OF THE REALM, OFFICERS OF ROYAL GUARDS AND DIGNITARIES, AND THEIR SERVANTS, GATHERED AROUND THEM IN A SEMICIRCULAR FORMATION: MALES TO THE RIGHT AND FEMALES TO THE LEFT OF THE THRONE, THE CLOSER THE HIGHER THE RANK, IN ALL THEIR FINERY: EVEN THE SERVANTS WEAR CLOTH OF GOLD, AND THEY ARE ALL SO PROUD THEY DO NOT DARE TO LOOK AT FREDERICK IN HIS SHABBY ATTIRE. MUNINN STANDING BEFORE FREDERICA. MISS THORNWOOD NEXT TO IDA AND THE COLONEL NEXT TO THE REGENT. AT THE DOOR, TWO GUARDS, AN USHER, AND A HERALD. BACKGROUND MUSIC: ZADOK THE PRIEST.
FREDERICA: And now another suitor sent away,
yet third time will now surely be the charm!
I'm sure that such a person will now come.
HERALD: Next...
(Enter Frederick, interrupting the Herald and boldly marching up before the Pearly Throne. All the courtiers are aghast when they see Frederick not bend the knee or drop the hat. They whisper to each other. Frederica, however, smiles and looks at him, listening eagerly.)
FREDERICK (confidently): My name is Frederick Linden, Esquire,
and on this day, I've reached this learned court
attracted by the thought that there might be
a princess of unusual cleverness,
waiting for someone who could share her life. 
I’ve come to prove if her wit is as sharp
as I, in foreign lands, have heard its praise. (Looking left and right, then turning his gaze to Frederica once more.)
I can see why this place would fill
you with enough ennui to tie the knot.
I've been here for five minutes, more or less,
and I'm bored enough to try it myself.
Care to join me? (He boldly reaches out his right hand to Frederica.)
FREDERICA (picking up the suitor's right hand with her left, trying to restrain her elation): Of course that I agree!
FREDERICK (kisses her left hand, then gently parts from it): We have not been formally introduced,
but who cares, in young love, for etiquette?
(Singing): Are you not sensitive,
Clever,
Well-mannered,
Considerate,
Passionate,
Charming,
As kind as you're lovely,
And heir to a throne? (Finishes singing.)
You have read all the books in the whole world.

Would you accept good books, though coarsely bound?
And thus, no gifts I bring, not finely dressed,
not upon bended knee and dropped hat,
not as a subject come from foreign lands...
rather, as your equal in wit and mind,
even troubled by loneliness as well.
Thus, I come not to woo or to propose,
attracted by your wealth, power, or looks,
but for your cleverness and wit alone,
to hear all that you have to say to me
and share with you what I have learned myself.
FREDERICA: You are quite free and quite agreeable,
a picture of good looks and gallantry,
solemn, cheerful, passionate, unafraid,
lively, amiable, full of wit and grace,
dashing and charming, from what I can hear.
And you speak well, as well as I can speak.
Yet what has won my heart and mind in you
was your intention, what has brought you here.
Not greed, or lust, that all the others led,
but thirst for knowledge and for company.
I am so taken by your derring-do,
your boldness, that I heartily agree!
I am as pleased with you as you with me!
FREDERICK: I am as pleased with you as you with me!
I like what I have heard from you so far!
I’ve found you charming.
FREDERICA (elated): I’ve found you after my taste.
Honestly, I take a shine to you too!
(Pause.)
FREDERICK: René Descartes once said that common sense
is most equally dispersed in the world,
for no one asks for more than they have got.
FREDERICA: And both of us see old René...
FREDERICK: ...was right!
FREDERICA: What? We finish each other's...
FREDERICK: ...sentences? (Frederick and Frederica laugh.)
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison): The two of us were always meant to be!
FREDERICA (to the rest of the courtiers): Everyone leave me with this good young man,
as pure-hearted as he is brave and learned.
We wish to be together...
FREDERICK: ...tête-à-tête! (Frederick and Frederica laugh.)
FREDERICA (to the courtiers, cheerfully): Then, dress me in the silken bridal gown,
and on my locks' light place the myrtle crown!
Deck the Court Chapel with bright greenhouse blooms,
and tell the Chaplain that, tonight, he'll bless
a royal couple, after many years!
Get all our cooks and pâtissiers prepared,
for there will be a twelve-course wedding feast,
crowned with the largest fruit cake in the land!
And send heralds throughout our realm at once,
e'en to the smallest villages and keeps,
the tidings of such an event to bring,
to revel, drink, sing, dance, and merry be,
such an event today to celebrate,
and for three days, at court and in each reach,
even in our fortified borderlands
where star-shaped holdfasts shield us from the foe.
Let fireworks, tourneys, mock battles, balls, plays,
and ballets at this palace soon take place!
But first, the wedding proper will unite
two kindred hearts and kindred minds in one,
securing thus our bloodline and our crown!
(The courtiers cheer, and then leave one by one, until only Frederick and the princess are left in the throne room. Frederica gets off the Pearly Throne. Background music: Ode to Joy.)
FREDERICK: Now may I kiss the bride ere she gets...
FREDERICA: ...dressed? My lips to the groom's lips I'd soon have...
FREDERICK: ...pressed. (They embrace and kiss.)
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison): Your kiss has seared my whole frame,
and through my veins sent liquid flame!
We're kindred spirits, you and me...
and pretty soon, married we'll be!

CURTAIN FALLS


ACT TWO


SCENE I
NIGHT. THE ROYAL BEDCHAMBER, FULL OF GOLD AND SILK AND MARBLE. THE CEILING IS A DOME THAT LOOKS LIKE A GLOBE OF COSTLY CRYSTAL GLASS, THROUGH WHICH A NIGHT SKY LIT BY A FULL MOON AND COUNTLESS STARS CAN BE SEEN. THE MOON IS HIGH OVER HEAD, ITS LIGHT SO BRIGHT THAT ONE CAN SEE PERFECTLY WELL. IN THE MIDDLE, HANGING WITH STRONG STEEL CHAINS FROM A THICK STEM OF GOLD, TWO LILY-SHAPED BEDS, ONE WHITE AND THE OTHER SCARLET WITH GOLD EMBROIDERY, LARGE ENOUGH FOR AN ADULT TO FIT INSIDE THE CALYX. ON TOP OF THE STEM, THERE IS A LARGE CANOPY OR DAIS SHAPED LIKE AN AGAVE WITH EMERALD LEAVES. AN ESTRADE, COVERED IN COSTLY TAPESTRIES, LEADS UP TO THE LILY-BEDS. TWO GUARDS ARE STANDING AT THE DOOR. FREDERICK AND FREDERICA ARE STANDING NEXT TO THE BEDS, BOTH DRESSED IN WHITE NIGHTGOWNS. BACKGROUND MUSIC: ALLES FÜHLT DER LIEBE FREUDEN, BY MOZART.
FREDERICK: Have you seen Muninn lately? She's not here!
FREDERICA: She must be in the garden, out of doors.
Since crows are clever, she might understand
that we intend to have a tête-à-tête.
FREDERICK: The guards have taken a liking to me,
both officers and privates, once they've seen
beneath my ragged clothes true rapier wit.
FREDERICA: Your heart is seen through your bright friendly eyes,
azure and glittering as summer lakes.
FREDERICK: And you're, I do not mean to flatter you,
the most beautiful young woman that has
ever been seen on Earth by mortal eyes,
pale and delicate, with long wavy hair
streaming downward in curls of golden light,
bright as the sun and lovely as the moon,
as dreadful as an army on the field.
Your visage is as perfect as your mind,
your titian hair curls about your fair face,
your bright green eyes seem to know everything,
'twas for your cleverness I came to you.
The wealth of knowledge in someone so learned
as you is something I cannot dream of. (They kiss.)
Silk drapes, satin sofas, velvet-lined walls...
These halls will give me more than one surprise,
this is the grandest royal residence
that I have ever seen in my short life.
FREDERICA: You value my ancestors' fashion sense
and noble patronage of the fine arts,
which makes us love each other even more.
FREDERICK: The first hall, which I hear "the parlour" call,
has walls in rose-red-coloured satin draped,
with bouquets of fine gold and silver flowers,
that more living than artificial seem.
Yet this is but a trifle, if compared...
FREDERICA: ...to the next halls, with many a rarity.
Splendour to dazzle any upstart's eyes!

Indeed, there's a reason to lose one’s mind

on seeing such prodigious luxury.
Each hall appears more splendid...
FREDERICK:...than the last!
Then comes a hall with a white marble floor,
hung all with tapestries of crimson silk.
Then comes a hall with a pink marble floor,
hung with paintings of battles and of myths,
of such size and magnificence that I
would have stopped longer to admire them,
the richness of the tints, skill of brush strokes...
Then one with floor of marble black and white,
laid out in squares, that a chessboard did seem,
which is hung with mirrors in gilded frames.
And then, once we pass through these golden doors,
This bedchamber's more magnificent...
FREDERICA... still!
But, don't you wonder why the lily beds,
mine snow-white, yours the colour of pure blood
or fire; shut in daytime, open now
by lowering the petals, white as snow
or red and golden, in the evening light,
like real lilies, for us to rest within...
to which this tapestry-decked estrade leads?
Or the ceiling, this dome of costly glass
through which the lovely night sky, the full moon,
and countless stars' great armies can be seen?
FREDERICK: I do... Such a bedchamber is so strange!
FREDERICA: For I'm too young this bond to consummate,
and thus, tradition holds, within this realm,
we should sleep in beds that are separate,
until I have my second decade reached.
Then to another bedchamber we will get,
one that is e'en more magnificent still,
with all the gold and silk and marble there,
in the middle, a great canopy bed,
whose bed-curtains thickly embroidered are
with lilies of both gold and silver thread.
FREDERICK: There, in the dim flicker of the lamplight,
through a narrow gap in the bed-curtains,
they will see a head of dark hair, quite black,
long and curly locks, glossy, beautiful.
We'll fall asleep in one another's arms,

my face quite hidden in your golden hair. 

But there are still two years until this comes...
so, could you now reward me with a kiss?
FREDERICA: So it shall be. Your wish is my command! (She kisses Frederick's lips.)
I was walking in the garden today,
together with a noble of my court.
Say... Do you know Count Rainer von Liebstein?
FREDERICK: Indeed. But I don't even feel a twinge
of pain. You see him merely as a friend.
FREDERICA: Well, Rainer and I went out for a walk,
with November's leaden skies and first snows,
to survey how it has been beautified.
FREDERICK: The moon is so high overhead tonight,
and its light is so bright, that one can see
perfectly well. Now I haven't gone out,
staying all day long in the library,
reading the Critiques of Immanuel Kant.
Would you tell me? I can't wait for the morn!
FREDERICA: At every entrance, guards are posted now.
The moonlight fills the garden, from the wall

to the front entrance, on this autumn night,

turning the now snow-covered flowerbeds

into great silver sheets. The fountains are

dry because of the cold: our gardeners

have set a little statue carved of ice

atop them, statues of nymphs and mermaids,

to take the place of th'absent water streams.

You'll love it.

FREDERICK: I am sure: in you I trust. (Casting a glance at Muninn.)

Now that crow does not merely listen to

the court musicians: she plays tunes as well.

The court musicians left their instruments

unattended, and Muninn plucked their strings.

She's quite good at it: you know, crows have brains...

FREDERICA: I've heard her play the cello, Fred, as well,

as I was reading The Rape of the Lock,

or halfway through Othello or Twelfth Night.

Perchance Muninn is Mozart reincarnate?

Why summon Liszt when there's this crow on strings? (Taking Frederick softly by the hands.)

And why recall Lord Byron when there's you?

FREDERICK: Those words come from your heart, so warm and true,

I don't regret at all I came to you.

I'm sure I'll love those statues made of ice.

Everyone else, except our watchful guards

on duty, at this court is fast asleep,
and perchance plunged into fantastic dreams...
(They sit down on the estrade, and they embrace and kiss passionately. Suddenly, shadows flit on the bedchamber walls: To the right, huntsmen, squires, and pages on slender-legged horses with fluttering manes and tails, pikemen, ladies and lords with shining belts and flashing spurs in sixteenth-century clothes, also on spindle-legged horses, and even a couple of ponies with children sitting tall and proud on them. To the left, the shadows represent a young lady similar to Frederica, dressed in white and crowned with white roses, in a coffin full of white roses, and Napoleonic-era courtiers in mourning weeping for her. Then, the lovers cease to kiss. Background music: Für Elise.)

FREDERICK (curious): Something just rushed by us here on the walls,
like spirits of those long ago deceased.
You see here, horses with strange slender legs
and manes and tails that flutter in the wind,
on some of which lords and court ladies ride,
with shining belt buckles and flashing spurs;
on others, huntsmen, pages, pikemen, squires,
and even two ponies with children on,
a boy and girl, both sitting tall and proud,
all dressed like courtiers centuries ago.
And there... the only thought that haunts my heart...
a maiden, pale and fair-haired, dressed in white,
crowned with a wreath of roses white as well,
and in a rosewood coffin she lies down,
her eyes shut, on a bed of roses white,
while all around her, dressed in mourning black,
weep courtiers in the fashion of our days.
I recognize each feature of the dead...
and, Frederica, darling, it is you! (He points at her chest.)
Yet you're alive, you speak, you feel, you breathe...
Is this a foretelling of what I dread?
FREDERICA: Those are but dreams, my love, but dreams that come
to take the sleeping courtiers' thoughts away,
and carry them towards pleasure or pain,
and take those thoughts on the wild chase of dreams.
We will, thus, linger more till we awake.
This proves that sleep has just entered these halls,
for, without sleep, no dreams will ever come.
Yet neither sleep nor dreams now come to me
for I can't help to wonder 'bout my spouse,
who came hither but half in uniform,
and quotes for me both Shakespeare and Descartes... (sighs)
The story of your life I'd like to hear,
and I, like Desdemona, listen will,
and give, for all your pains, a world of sighs!
FREDERICK: It is a short and convoluted tale,
yet as true as the fact I'm by your side.
I was into the landed gentry born,
my birthplace and childhood home an estate,
yet I wished to surpass its garden gate,
and meet many good people, as a child.
When I turned thirteen, at last I was free,
yet soon expelled from University,
not longer than a year from when I came,
for I said that in no gods I believed.
FREDERICA: A freethinker expelled? That was not fair!
FREDERICK: Yet for me there's no use in giving up,
and thus, I have been roaming the wide world,
or at least half of it, stopping to learn
in many seats of learning, rulers' courts,
and, during wartime, on the battlefield.
Thus did I knowledge and experience glean,
learn about power, love, passion, and death,
without bothering to find a good wife
who'd tie me and forever clip my wings.
FREDERICA: And now you've found me! In which circumstance?
FREDERICK: Though I have been an officer at war,
I had enlisted in an outpost keep
as orderly to one lieutenant there.
Yet, three days after, all that blacking boots
and polishing steel had come to an end,
for my young master fell into a fight
with another officer, in their cups,
over a sword scabbard that was too short.
They soon challenged each other to a duel,
and, the next day, right at the crack of dawn,
both fell, each with a bullet through his heart.
Once he was gone, servant I could not be,
so I donned half of my civilian clothes,
keeping the boots, knapsack, and breeches on,
and then, right as I was leaving the keep,
I saw messengers enter, how they nailed
a proclamation on th' officers' door.
I rushed, I read it, I was lightning-struck,
and decided what I was to do next:
head for this not so distant royal court,
to speak to, cheer up, and finally win
a princess of unusual cleverness.
And I dashed forth on foot. You know the rest.

I strode through many a magnificent hall,

without caring for guards' or ladies' sneers...
FREDERICA: Even the servants wore fine cloth of gold,
and they were so proud they would never look

at you, who’d come with ink-stained fingertips.
They looked over their shoulders, down on that
young upstart in those creaking wellingtons,
who paid no heed to their glares and their sneers.

Yet I listened, entranced, upon the throne...
You were undaunted by my power and wealth,
you were quite cheerful, dashing, bold, and free,
a picture of good looks and gallantry,
lively, amiable, full of wit and grace...
you were quite solemn, not at all afraid,
and your boldness impressed me to the point
that I agreed to everything you said...

You had nothing to do with all of those

young lordlings that had come the first two days:
you came for my wit, not my hand or throne,
you won me through your clever liveliness,
and thus, that day, we talked for many hours,
you are as pleased with me as I'm with you...
I'm Frederica, if you're Frederick.

You find me charming, honestly you said;

and I reply: I find you after my taste.
And now we're wedded. Higher is our bliss.
There's no elation second to our hearts'!
What could be wrong? No cruel storm-clouds of war
loom in the distance to strike your frame down,
like they struck my late father, long ago.
No plotting adders hiss among our bliss,
though we are still so innocent and young.
We're young, good-looking, clever, learned, kind,
pure-hearted, and soon we'll ascend to thrones!
We're quite happy together, newly wed!
What could be wrong, my love?
FREDERICK: Nothing at all!
(They embrace and kiss, then get into the lily-beds. Frederica into the white one and Frederick into the scarlet one.)
FREDERICK: May dreams not lead us towards pain tonight.
Good night, my darling, I say! Bonne nuit!
FREDERICA: The same wish is here made to shield our sleep.
Good night, my darling, I say! Bonne nuit!
(Both of them close their eyes and fall asleep. The dreams of the riders on horseback rush around the bedchamber.)

SCENE II
NIGHT. THE ROYAL BEDCHAMBER, FULL OF GOLD AND SILK AND MARBLE. THE CEILING IS A DOME THAT LOOKS LIKE A GLOBE OF COSTLY CRYSTAL GLASS, THROUGH WHICH A NIGHT SKY LIT BY A FULL MOON AND COUNTLESS STARS CAN BE SEEN. THE MOON IS HIGH OVERHEAD, ITS LIGHT SO BRIGHT THAT ONE CAN SEE PERFECTLY WELL. IN THE MIDDLE, HANGING WITH STRONG STEEL CHAINS FROM A THICK STEM OF GOLD, TWO LILY-SHAPED BEDS, ONE WHITE AND THE OTHER SCARLET WITH GOLD EMBROIDERY, LARGE ENOUGH FOR AN ADULT TO FIT INSIDE THE CALYX. ON TOP OF THE STEM, THERE IS A LARGE CANOPY OR DAIS SHAPED LIKE AN AGAVE WITH EMERALD LEAVES. AN ESTRADE, COVERED IN COSTLY TAPESTRIES, LEADS UP TO THE LILY-BEDS. TWO GUARDS ARE STANDING AT THE DOOR. FREDERICK AND FREDERICA ARE SLEEPING IN THEIR BEDS, THE PRINCESS IN THE WHITE ONE AND THE PRINCE IN THE SCARLET ONE, HIS FACE HIDDEN IN HIS ARMS. ENTER HUGINN AND MUNINN, TOGETHER WITH GERDA IN PEASANT DRESS, WITH A SILVER CANDLESTICK HELD IN HAND. BACKGROUND MUSIC: FÜR ELISE.
GERDA (Advancing towards the scarlet lily-bed, then standing by the sleeping Frederick from behind): Kai? Kai? Do you remember me, Kai? (She puts the candlestick to the nape of his neck.)
(The dreams of the hunting party rush back into the room on horseback at triple gallop, to fetch the spirit of the young prince and give him back his thoughts.)
FREDERICK (waking up, turning his head round, eyes wide open, and addressing Gerda): My name's not Kai, you unknown commoner...
FREDERICA (waking up, blinking and sitting up): What's the matter? Why are this peasant maid
and this wild crow in our bedchamber now?
GERDA (kneeling and sobbing, falls back a step, disappointed and ashamed): Your Highnesses...
HUGINN: Forgive us, Highnesses, if we intrude.
MUNINN: This is Huginn, my wild mate from the woods,
whom man-made rank forbids me to espouse.
HUGINN: And, on the heath, this foreign maid we found,
her red shoes worn, all shivering with cold...
My Liege, she had a reason to come here,
to your court, in the middle of the night.
GERDA (curtseying, and drying up her tears): My name is Gerda Grünfink,
and Sommerland my nation,
my hometown, birthplace, Rosenbruck,
and I hope for salvation.
FREDERICA: Rosenbruck, where the year-market takes place?
GERDA: So it is, and where flowers line the streets,
and every window has a pot or box
to cultivate plants for everyday use.
My Kai and I had each a rose bush there...
FREDERICK: You've started to speak in pentameter,
like tradition allows it, at this court,
though you're a commoner, not that inured.
GERDA: My Kai and I had each a rose bush there.
Mine yields scarlet red roses, his yields white,
and sweet-peas, with their flower butterflies,
entwine around the rose-bushes, that bloom
right opposite each other, on our street,
forming an arch of flowers and of leaves.
I am the baker's daughter, and his sire's
the master shoemaker, across Main Street.
We'd sit under these bushes and we'd play
with our puppets and read old fairytales
after school, for three quarters of the year.
In winter, we'd visit each other's place
and read those stories by the fireside
or get into some friendly snowball fight.
Or spend the days of Christmas doing crafts.
At class, our desks were to each other next,
and our classmates, when we returned back home,
holding hands, and eager to play our games,
would mock us: "See, there walk the fiancés!"
And soon I learned that we'd be bride and groom,
and then husband and wife, yet storm-clouds dark
loomed far away, to our young eyes unseen.
Last autumn, on a day just like today,
Kai had suddenly changed from dawn to dusk,
no longer loving plants or fairy tales,
shunning our puppets, our flowers, and me.
He'd rather rewrite what he'd learned at class,
mostly numbers and formulas, and think
of what he called "perfection" on his own,
seeing in life and fancy nought but flaws.
Rarely he left his room to be with me,
and, at class, he would never meet my eye,
saying the nine times table to himself.
When autumn turned to winter, it got worse,
as if the cold air had reached his hard heart.
No longer had he time for Christmas crafts,
wishes, or presents. One day, when it snowed,
he held out the tail of his sky blue coat,
and, through his father's magnifying glass,
Kai showed me the ice crystals of the flakes,
to him flowers so perfect, pure, and white,
unlike the living, coloured ones on plants.
Then, one day, he left for the marketplace,
to hitch his sled to passing carriages,
just like our boldest lads use there to do.
But gone he was, at dusk he'd disappeared,
and that Christmas, and New Year after that,
I finally experienced loneliness
and missed him, Kai not being by my side.
When springtime came, young Kai was missing still,
and the townsfolk said he'd drowned in the stream.
Yet the sunshine and flowers seemed to say,
in their warmth, that my friend was still alive.
Thus, I set forth, I left my home and kin,
and soon was miles away from Sommerland.
A nice old lady in a cottage once,
in an orchard of apples, let me in,
to revel in her greenhouse and her blooms.
She gave me sweet fruit and a soft, warm bed,
and kept me there for short and fleeting days.
Yet soon I found not a trace of a rose,
in garden or greenhouse, but her straw hat
had two such flowers, one scarlet, one white.
Then flashed back a memory of Kai,
and of our childhood back in Rosenbruck,
and I made haste out of that charmed reach.
Then, when I crossed the garden gate, I found
no flowers and no bugs, the air so cold,
the mist so dire and veiling the warm woods,
the heath in bloom, the moor kissed by the wind.
The wide world was so gray, and cold, and dire...
It was autumn, November, like before,
when Kai's heart seemed to have frozen to ice.
In April I'd come to the lady's cot,
but it was springtime there for all the year.
There, on the misty heath, I met a crow,
the wild one, who would keep me company,
and yet another, who told me your tale.
And they flew me over your garden gate,
then slipped me through the back-door... it's ajar...
And I thought you, dear Prince, must have been Kai.
Those clever eyes and that long lovely hair,
that honesty and that intelligence...
I know you're not, though still both young and fair.
Forgive me. Kai's ten years younger than you.
Still, you don’t cease to be a pretty boy,
yet not as fair as I've heard people say.
For me, pardon, you're second to my Kai.
(To Frederica) And my Liege, you're as kind as you are fierce.
Truly, you two are one another worth.
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison, to Gerda, soothing): Poor little thing, a foreigner, a girl,
still in pursuit of her lost fiancé,
while we're together, with each other pleased!
FREDERICK: And call me by my name. 'Tis Frederick.
FREDERICA (To Huginn and Muninn): We're not enraged by this intrusion, mind,
but rather we'd praise such a worthy deed,
to bring us a young foreigner in need.
(To Gerda) And call me Frederica, too, by name.
(Frederick and Frederica rise from their beds, both looking quite sorrowful.)
FREDERICK (looking quite sorrowful): Though both of us are learned, little we know
about what e'er could spirit him away.
You met the lady in the flowered hat?
Send her my regards with keen interest.
For we have been at University
together once. Tell her I'm still her friend.
FREDERICA (looking quite sorrowful): I regret I cannot help anymore,
and I'm not angry to be woken up
by strangers standing in our bedchamber
at this odd-even watch of the midnight.
Another notice will delivered be
throughout three kingdoms, ours, yours, and the foe's,
inquiring after your friend's whereabouts.
He looks like my prince, thus he'll be described.
FREDERICK: You are so clever and so kindly crows,
that this act will not go without reward.
And seeing, Huginn, that you our pet love,
you'll be knighted... no, better... made a lord.
MUNINN (excited): Lord Huginn... royal pet... Can we thus wed?
HUGINN: A fixed appointment I've received at court.
FREDERICA: Then, why delay the wedding? Here and now!
FREDERICK (standing between Huginn and Muninn): Do you, Huginn, take this crow as your wife?
HUGINN: Caw, caw! I do!
FREDERICK: Do you, Muninn, take this crow as your spouse?
MUNINN: Caw, caw! I do!
FREDERICK: By the Crown and the power of these lands,
incarnate as my beloved consort,
I hitherto pronounce you crow and wife.
You, newlyweds, now may each other kiss.
HUGINN AND MUNINN: Caw, caw! Caw, caw! (They kiss.)
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison, command): Servants, have a spare bed in a guest room
made up for this maiden, and bathe her too,
and gather winter clothing, for next day!
FREDERICA (gives Gerda a heart-shaped key): This is the key to one of our guest rooms.
(Servants appear, led by Miss Thornwood.)
FREDERICA: Miss Thornwood, Gerda to her quarters lead.
MISS THORNWOOD (curtseying): I will so.

FREDERICK (To Gerda): Miss Thornwood and I will show you the way

to the room where you can sleep for the night.

Worn stranger, we can do but nothing more.
Now, have a rest for one good week at court,
and feel free to peruse our library,
reading more books than you could ever dream.
I've longed to have a student of my own.
GERDA: You two are very clever, yes, indeed.
How good the people are in the wide world!
FREDERICA: Noblesse oblige: blue-bloods should come to aid.
Yet not all are as pure hearted as we.
Our guest, we wish you now: Bonne nuit. Good night.
Nothing more can I do. Bonne nuit. Good night. (She kisses Gerda on the cheeks.)
GERDA: Good night.
FREDERICK: Our guest, we wish you: Bona nox. Good night.
Neither can I do more. Bonne nuit. Good night.
MISS THORNWOOD: Good night, my Liege. Bonne nuit, et bona nox.
HUGINN AND MUNINN (unison): Good night, caw, caw, we to our tower strut!
(The servants leave, together with Frederick, Gerda, Huginn, and Muninn. After a while, Frederick returns alone to the bedchamber. The prince and the princess get back into their beds.)
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison): Good deeds lighten the heart and clear the mind,
and, if by knowledge they directed be,
approach thus to the nature of the gods.
Let's go to bed and sleep on for tonight,
and next morn we'll take leave of our guest.
(Both of them close their eyes and fall asleep. The dreams of the riders on horseback rush around the bedchamber.)

SCENE III
THE GREAT AVENUE OF THE ROYAL GARDEN, WHERE THE LEAVES ARE FALLING ONE AFTER ANOTHER FROM THE GOLDEN LINDENS. FREDERICK AND FREDERICA ARE STANDING TOGETHER, AND THERE IS ALSO A GOLDEN COACH-AND-FOUR, PULLED BY FOUR NUTBROWN STALLIONS, ON WHOSE PANELS THE KINGDOM'S COAT OF ARMS, FOUR SILVER LILIES ON A BLUE FIELD, GLITTERS LIKE A STAR. THE COACHMAN, FOOTMEN, AND OUTRIDERS ARE ALL DRESSED IN WHITE AND GOLD LIVERY, WEARING GOLDEN CORONETS. THE SADDLE AND BRIDLE OF EACH HORSE ARE TRIMMED WITH SILVER BELLS, AND EACH SADDLE-CLOTH HAS THE PRINCE'S AND PRINCESS'S COATS OF ARMS, ENTWINED, EMBROIDERED ON IT IN SILK THREAD. THE FALLEN LEAVES CRUNCH BENEATH EVERYONE'S FEET. TWO GUARDS STAND BEFORE THE DOOR, SHOULDERING ARMS. IT'S MID-MORNING. BACKGROUND MUSIC: ALLES FÜHLT DER LIEBE FREUDEN.
FREDERICK: Cannons will rumble, trumpets will be raised,
as our guest takes off on her quest of love!
FREDERICA: The carriage is well-stocked, and she's well fed,
and well-dressed. Speak of Gerda: here she comes!
(Enter Gerda, dressed in an overcoat of scarlet velvet and a dress of the same material, a muff and a hat of white rabbit fur. She also wears a purple velvet cape lined with white rabbit fur. Still she wears her red suede shoes. Ida follows Gerda closely.)
FREDERICA: I had her dressed myself from head to toe,
and scarlet velvet suits her fair hair well.
So the fine purple cape, all lined with fur.
(Looking at Gerda's feet.) But where are those soft slippers of drap d'or,
with cherry blossoms, that you ought to wear?
GERDA: I swore, when I went forth, that I'd seek Kai
until I have worn out these red suede shoes.
FREDERICA: I'd like to make you handmaiden of mine,
and give you a lovely bedchamber here,
where you can every day enjoy yourself.
You’ll spend your life amidst fêtes and soirées...
Wouldn't you like to live in luxury?
GERDA (shrugging): Me? I would never usurp Ida's place,
seeing as I am what I've always been,
a humble maiden from the provinces,
who'd never fit in at a foreign court.
FREDERICK: You know your place better than I know mine.
GERDA: I have been served breakfast in a great hall,
berries and cream out of a golden bowl.
There was toast with butter and orange juice,
and silver trays filled with pastries and cakes,
and sausage, bacon, and pancakes as well...
but the crowner were those rare little treats,
chocolate truffles, to wrap up the feast,
with strawberries baked in them: sweet surprise!
The prince and princess were dining with me,
and we talked about all the things we've seen,
about art, which she's studied a little,
in between reading philosophy books,
and about military tactics as well,
and they advise me now to go up north,
where they have a feeling that Kai'd be found...
Noblesse oblige! How good people can be! (She curtseys.)
FREDERICK: You see our coat of arms shine like a star
on the panels of this grand coach-and-four,
our personal crests embroidered in silk,
entwined, upon each horse's saddle-cloth,
which is all trimmed with tiny silver bells.
Coachman, footmen, and four outriders too,
are dressed in our lackeys' fine livery
and wear little lovely gold coronets.
A trunk inside is full of candied fruit,
of sweets, and of crunchy honeyed palmiers,
and croquignoles baked as they're made in France,
and gingerbread nuts, and warm mulled wine too,
and lemonade, to rinse all this fare down.
FREDERICA: To climb into the carriage we help you.
(Frederick and Frederica lead Gerda into the carriage, open the door and let her in. The carriage then takes off, followed by Huginn and Muninn as the garden gate opens and the prince and princess rush towards the gate, stopping there, just as it shuts and Gerda leaves, waving them goodbye.)
HUGINN AND MUNINN (unison): Caw, caw! The most painful parting this is!
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison, both drying up tears with handkerchiefs):
Adieu et bon voyage! Adieu, mignonne!
We wish you success from the garden gate,
each one of us drying up heartfelt tears.
We wish you three all good luck there can be!
Adieu et bon voyage! Farewell! Farewell!


SCENE IV
THE THRONE ROOM: GILDED PLASTERWORK, GREAT SILVER MIRRORS, THAT GLOW WITH THE LIGHT OF A THOUSAND CANDLES FROM THE CHANDELIERS ON THE CEILING. TAPESTRIES OF EROTIC CLASSICAL MYTHS. FREDERICA ON THE PEARLY THRONE, FREDERICK TO HER RIGHT ON ANOTHER THRONE COVERED IN AMBER, LORD MAGNUS AND THE OTHER ADVISORS STANDING BEFORE THEM. TWO GUARDS AT THE DOOR, SHOULDERING ARMS. BACKGROUND MUSIC: POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE MARCHES.
FREDERICA: 'Twas a fortnight ago that Gerda came.
I hope she's found her sweetheart, do not you?
Soon winter's here, and Christmas revels too.
(Enter a pale Outrider, reeling and staggering, his coat stained with blood, supported by two guards.)
FREDERICK: This outrider comes wounded, drenched in blood,
as if a cursed shot had pierced fine parts.
You bring news that are sorrowful, perchance?
OUTRIDER (with a faint voice): My Liege, I'm sorry yet relieved to tell
a tale that's true and bittersweet and strange.
Know the Thick Forest, also called the Dark?
FREDERICA: That is a northern region of our lands,
next to those that once were our enemies'.
OUTRIDER (with a faint voice): When the seventh night fell, we entered it,
and the darkness made the woods darker yet.
The pines and firs were like our pillars vast. (Coughing up blood.)
There we stopped, to give our horses some rest.
The coachman descended, the lanterns lit,
as he had done more than one time before. (Coughing up blood.)
The light reflected on our golden coach,
and then, like spectres of the underworld,
sprung from the underbrush dark highwaymen. (Coughing up blood.)
The light must have dazzled and seared their eyes,
and the chime of our bells have reached their ears,
for they cried, rushing at a lightning speed:
"Gold!" "Silk!", as thunder loud, and, suddenly, (Coughing up blood.)
we fired our guns, and two of them soon fell,
yet our coachman, footmen, and th'other three
of us outriders had also been slain, (Coughing up blood.)
their vitals shot, stabbed with many red wounds,
as the robbers shouted and fired their guns. (Coughing up blood, then fainting for a while. A guard slaps him in the face, and the Outrider awakens.)
And then I started to grow pale and weak
when I their leader chanced to behold,
as I played dead to spare my fated life.
'Twas a woman, tall, bearded like a man,
with shoulders broad and a sharp grey goatee... (Coughing up blood.)
FREDERICA: Bloody Karen! That fiend of ogress blood!
My blood runs cold! And Gerda was alive?
OUTRIDER (with a faint voice): Alive Karen pulled her out of the coach,
licking her lips, and saying to herself:
"Fattened with nuts! She'll taste like yearling lamb!" (Coughing up blood.)
Yet no sooner had she her hostage seized,
before a young person of unknown sex
stabbed a small knife into Karen's right arm
and begged, all nagging, to spare Gerda's life. (Coughing up blood.)
And Karen cursed the stripling, "bloody lout!"
One of the others tore a strip of cloth
from his worn shirt, and dressed the leader's wounds,
as everyone forgot to take the life
of the maiden. What a show thus unfurled! (Coughing up blood.)
The other robbers were all quite amused
by this dark-haired young person's roguish trick:
"See, how they're dancing, Karen and her child!" (Coughing up blood.)
The stripling had dark hair, and darker skin,
and green eyes, and a Cheshire-cat-like grin.
Though fierce, there was a mournful look within
those eyes, restless and dark, as black as sin...
So now they've conveyed Gerda to her lair,
and I think she'll be set free, not just spared. (Coughing up blood, and collapsing in front of the thrones. A gunshot wound on his upper back comes to view.)
FREDERICA: The others are left to wolves and wild crows...
And only you now live to tell the tale,
beside Gerda, and have to court repaired,
in spite of your wavering health and life?
FREDERICK: So Bloody Karen's had a bastard child,
who did not doubt to save a hostage's life?
I wonder what this youngster will become...
FREDERICA: A gunshot wound can be seen on his back.
And he was strangely pale, coughing up blood.
The bullet has most surely pierced his lung.
He's young still, and his life can still be saved.
Send this man to the court infirmary!
May by our surgeon his wounds tended be!
(The guards carry the Outrider out of the throne room.)

Though we would surely Gerda’s ransom pay,

we have already been so generous

she surely wants not to trouble us more

by costing us any further expense.

That stripling of the bandit clan may be,

I hope, the one to set the maiden free.
FREDERICK: And now, everyone but Lord Magnus, leave,
whose regency has not yet reached its end.
Two years to us becoming King and Queen...
(Everyone leaves except Magnus.)
FREDERICA: And may Maid Ida also be with us!
(Enter Ida.)
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison): Now there's an announcement we'd like to make.
Within two years, we'll rule as king and queen,
young, beautiful, and clever equally.
We're quite happy together, newly wed!
FREDERICA: Yet ne'er I've ventured beyond th' iron-wrought
and carefully well-locked garden gate,
before a bridegroom shared with me the tales
of all the lands and people he has known,
and which I know to be as true as gold.
He is inured, I but an adult child,
learned, yet sheltered from a wide hostile world,
which is to me uncharted, to him known.
And he told of something called honeymoon,
when newlyweds go forth through distant lands,
to celebrate that they have tied the knot.
And we'd like to go forth without a goal,
without an escort, for more privacy,
unafraid of what enemies may lurk,
with our pet crows, a coachman, and good Miss
for only company, throughout the lands.
I'd like to find this realm like when I left.
Lord Magnus, like a father to me once,
you'll wisely rule as regent in my stead.
Do not usurp the throne that I entrust
or allow fell usurpers to come near.
MAGNUS (bending the knee, hand on heart): So I will, and stay true to thee, my Liege.
The realm is once more in experienced hands.
FREDERICK: Then, next fortnight we'll leave for unknown lands.

SCENE V:
THE EDGE OF THE THICK FOREST IN WINTER. BOTH FIELD AND TREETOPS ARE COVERED IN THICK SNOW. ANOTHER COACH-AND-FOUR, THIS ONE JUST LIKE GERDA'S, IS DRIVING FORWARD WITH FREDERICK AND FREDERICA INSIDE IT. THERE ARE NO FOOTMEN, AND AS OUTRIDERS, MISS THORNWOOD AND THE COLONEL RIDE ON THE TWO FRONT HORSES. THE OUTRIDER FROM LAST SCENE IS HERE THE COACHMAN. HUGINN AND MUNINN ARE FLYING BEFORE THE COACH. BACKGROUND MUSIC: SABRE DANCE.
VOICE OF MARIA (from offstage, from the forest): Tally-ho!
(A gunshot is fired. Huginn falls. The carriage stops. Muninn alights and cradles her slain spouse. Frederick and Frederica get off the carriage.)
FREDERICA: Who ever dares to shoot a royal pet?
This is high treason, and the price be paid!
(Maria, on a nutbrown stallion, rides out of the woods, wearing a grayish-blue military longcoat and a red foxskin hat, with a musket flung across her back, dagger and pistols on her sash.)
FREDERICA: Ain't this a horse from royal coach, or not?
Who are you, strange, defiant youth or maid?
(Maria gets off her horse.)
MARIA (bending the knee and dropping the hat, bowing like a man): I'm the daughter of Bloody Karen and some fellow I have never known. I was born and raised within our lair, whose secret location I will not reveal, just telling you it lies in the Dark Forest. My name is Maria, and my intention has never been the one you think. I just fired that gun to salute the wide world, my Liege. I have, at length, grown weary of being cooped up like my many pets, so I have filled my pockets and knapsack with all the gold I could, I have set every animal free, and hopped on one the horses from your carriage. And then... (Louder, and visibly elated.) Adiós, bandit life, and, welcome to the wide world! I'm going forth to seek my fortune! (Changing look from defiant to sorrowful.) If that bullet ever managed to hit any of your crows, it was a contrived coincidence. (She cuts off a lock of her hair with her dagger.) Did I shoot the he or the she?
FREDERICK: You've shot the he crow, Huginn, once raised wild.
MARIA (approaching Muninn and soothing her): Pardon me, Lady Crow. I never meant to kill your husband. Forgive this unlucky accident. (She ties the lock around Muninn's left leg.) There is your mourning crepe. I'll earth your husband with my hands and dagger.
FREDERICA: It was an accident. Love, don't you think
of mercy on this rueful robber maid?
FREDERICK: So I agree that she is free of guilt.
We're rambling around the wide world as well,
to foreign countries, on our honeymoon,
on a voyage of exploration great,
taking a maid and officer with us,
and we could use a maiden just like you,
surely skilled in the use of lead and steel,
to shield us from wild beasts and wicked men.
MARIA (bending the knee and dropping the hat, bowing like a man): It would be an honour to accompany you, Your Highnesses.
FREDERICA: In exchange, you'll be taught to read and write,
and then become a handmaid at our court
when we return to our lands once more...
for you have never read a book, have you?
And feel free to peruse our library,
reading more books than you could ever dream.
I've longed to have a student of my own.
MARIA (lowering her gaze, in shame): No, Your Highnesses. I'm going south, to the Low Countries, where the great kingdoms of the world are forever fighting their wars, to try my luck as a camp follower. For a wild child like me would be more at home on the war front than at a royal court, eh? So I'll be with you only for a while, until our ways part. As for learning to read and write... that could be useful. Promise me you two will teach me.
FREDERICK: Then first, out of the forest show us, friend,
through shortcuts to your wicked kin unknown,
and prove that you're no traitor to the Crown.
MARIA (bending the knee and dropping the hat, bowing like a man): Though I have been slitting men’s throats for as long as I remember, though I am merciless as the winter, though I have never been a child in my short life, I am no dastard, nor a traitor, and I would gladly bleed and die for you, Your Highnesses. Why would I ever betray you, if I have truly seen the light? Pardon me if I cannot give you back your royal coat of arms, but my mother tore it from the carriage door with her bare hands, and now it's on the trophy wall of our lair.
(Frederick looks at Maria as he bites his lower lip. Frederica pulls his left sleeve. Maria gets on the left horse of those left without an outrider.)
FREDERICA: So you are Karen's daughter, as you've said?
I ask by chance if you have ever met
a maid called Gerda, golden-haired and fair?
MARIA: Why? Do you know her as well, Your Highnesses? Two weeks ago, Mother took that gal prisoner, when we captured a great carriage. We were supposed to slaughter her... but I saved her life! And thus, I made my very first human friend. So we return to the den, I show her my pets and my treasures... and then, Gerda tells me about her best boy Kai, who must be either nuts or foolish for someone to go to the ends of the Earth for. So my reindeer stag Bae tells us he's seen Kai flying in the Snow Queen's carriage over the tundra, to her fortress of ice in the Far North, on some islands called Svalbard. So, next day, while everyone else is sleeping off their drunkenness, I set Bae and Gerda free, kiss them goodbye at the den gate, off they gallop up north as I bid them farewell and wish them good luck... and I start feeling all warm and soft inside... Then, I saw the light. Your Highnesses, you know the rest. I would never have seen the light without her. Gerda, my first human friend ever.
FREDERICA (to Frederick): We're so glad that she is alive and well!
You're honest, you've become a heroine!
FREDERICK (to Frederica): And thus, we've lost a pet, but found a friend,
a bodyguard, and a partner as well,
and... (Pause.) Darling, you'd like a ménage à trois?
FREDERICA (winking at Frederick): And why should I against such practice be?
MARIA: What is a "menash atwa"?
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (to Maria, at unison): Tonight, by the campfire, you will find out!
(Muninn sits on the only horse remaining without an outrider. Maria buries Huginn's body in the snow, then gets back on her steed.) 
MARIA (to Muninn, who is moping): I'm sorry, Muninn, for what you have to suffer. Think that I widowed you by accident! Yet I also gave you my hair as your widow's black. So... (Pause.) Am I forgiven?
MUNINN (nodding at Maria): Animals die, relatives die,
death will come to you as well.
I know something that never dies,
and that is called reputation.
You are forgiven, a good noble maiden.
MARIA: And he must have had an excellent reputation, like Their Highnesses.
FREDERICK: And call me by my name. 'Tis Frederick.
FREDERICA: And call me Frederica, too, by name.
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison): With her, we'll have an even better time!
'Tis such a shame that we will soon part ways!
MARIA (enthusiastic, reaching out her hand): That's it: from now on I am one of you,
and parting ways will break my heart as well.
Now let's forget tomorrow: seize today!
FREDERICK AND FREDERICA (unison): Carpe diem! What you have said is right!
MARIA: What does "carpy deeum" mean? Anyway, let's live in our own times! Right now, I am thinking of a certain campfire song... (To Frederick.) Fritz, have you ever heard (Sings the first verse of Fredman's Song number 21) "Thus saunter we so gradually?"
FREDERICK (Sings Fredman's Song number 21, picking up where Maria left): ...from revels loud and bountiful,
when Death comes calling: "Come to me,
thy hourglass is full!"
FREDERICA (Sings Fredman's Song number 21, picking up where Frederick left, addressing the Colonel): You, elder, lower your bâton,
(Addressing Frederick) ...and you, young man, my law partake:
(Curtsying at Frederick, coquettely moving her fan): The fairest nymph who smiles at you on
in your arms you shall take! (Winks at Frederick.)
FREDERICK, FREDERICA, MARIA (unison, singing the refrain to Fredman's Song number 21): If you think the grave's too deep and dire,
why not take a draught of liquid fire?
Then another, a third, make it four, make it five...
and you'll feel more alive!
(Frederick and Frederica get into the carriage, that rolls on forward into the Thick Forest.)
BACKGROUND MUSIC: BELLMAN SONG NUMBER 21 (INSTRUMENTAL)