TSQ-IV PROCELLOUS RETELLING

'Cause I can't stop beating that dead pegasus for passion's sake, here's another retelling of the thousand-times-told tale, mesdames et messieurs (before I get into the third section of the Elysenne of Tarth story, which is a Lemony retelling set in the Stormlands):

The princess is Barbara Gordon and the prince is Dick Grayson (Robin):

In the kingdom we are in now, there lives a Princess who is extraordinarily clever; for she has read all the books in the whole world, and has not forgotten them again, so clever is she. She was lately, it is said, sitting on her throne, which is not very amusing after all, when she began humming an old tune, and it was just, 'Oh, why should I not be married?' "That song is not without its meaning,' said she, and so then she was determined to marry; but she would have a husband who knew how to give an answer when he was spoken to, not merely one who looked only as if he were a great personage, for that is so tiresome. She then had all the ladies of the court drummed together; and when they heard her intention, all were very pleased, and said, 'We are very glad to hear it; it is the very thing we were thinking of.

The newspapers appeared forthwith with a border of hearts and the initials of the Princess; and therein you might read that every good-looking young man was at liberty to come to the palace and speak to the Princess; and the one who was as clever as the Princess would be her husband.

People came in crowds, but no one was successful either on the first or second day. They could all talk well enough when they were out in the street; but as soon as they came inside the palace gates, and saw the guard richly dressed in silver, and the lackeys in gold on the staircase, and the large illuminated saloons, then they were shy; and when they stood before the throne on which the Princess was sitting, all they could do was to repeat the last word they had uttered, and to hear it again did not interest her very much. It was just as if the people within were under a charm, and had fallen into a trance till they came out again into the street; for then they could chatter enough. There was a whole row of them standing from the town-gates to the palace.

Now, on the third day, there came a little boy, with bright eyes and long dark hair, who walked boldly up to the palace alone.

He had a little knapsack on his back.

Now then, the boy went up to the Princess, and spoke to her well, but he was not there to woo the Princess, but hear her wisdom, and they spoke for many hours.

into the garden in the large avenue, where one leaf was falling after the other; and when the lights in the palace had all gradually disappeared...

through the palace, and in the first room  there were two beds, one which held the Princess, and the other a sleeping man.

The Prince resembled him in neck and hair, but not at all in body. The Princess, too, awoke, and - oh! the Ravens had not mentioned her beauty, her red hair curled about her face, and her green eyes seemed to know everything – asked what the matter was.

"Poor little thing," said the Prince and Princess, and they praised the Ravens. The Princess gave her a key, and told her that there was a room she could sleep in for the night, and the Prince showed her where it was.

"How good are men and animals!"

the Princess, who told her to call her Barbara, for that was her name, and the Prince, who also told her to call him by his name, Richard, gave her a carriage all made of gold and filled with good things to eat, and had their coat of arms on it. The Princess also gave her a fine purple cape, all lined with fur.

They visited the Prince and Princess, who were now wed and quite happy together.