martes, 5 de marzo de 2013

THE DISCREET CHARM OF LIEUTENANCY

Both Lieutenant Kotler and Lieutenant Wickham are played by the same actor, Rupert Friend, a dashing Brit who cuts a figure in any kind of officer's uniform.
Both share the first place in my list of eligible bachelors.
(For those who were not aware of it, lieutenant is a French word. However, it's pronounced in a different way, "lyöt-NAA", north of the Pyrinees and south of the Channel).
And you, optionophile (i.e. lieutenant-loving) females reading this post: do you prefer Kotler or Wickham? Ice or spice?
In this corner: Kurt Kotler (Ice):


  • Blond and blue-eyed (purebred Aryan).
  • Short hair, gray SS-Untersturmführer coat.
  • Reserved.
  • Looks pretty cool, tough and emotionless, but nevertheless suave.
  • Tragic family history (defector father exiled in Switzerland): his weak and soft spot.
  • Mood swings. When in a bad mood, blinded by anger and prone to violence towards non-Aryans.
  • 99 percent dashing on the Sandra Dermark scale.
In this corner: George Wickham (Spice):


  • Dark-haired and green-eyed (or hazel-eyed, depending on light).
  • Ponytailed (1 ft long ponytail, tied with a light blue ribbon) redcoat (scarlet jacket and white breeches).
  • Outspoken, even a social butterfly.
  • A troublemaker (pathologically gambles and drinks hard).
  • More emotionally stable than Kotler (beware of even naming one Fitzwilliam Darcy, or else his repressed feelings will surface!).
  • Charismatic personality (he would be a sect leader, no military officer, in our days) that betrays his true self.
  • 99 percent dashing on the Sandra Dermark scale.
I'm not suggesting that you form "Team Kotler" and "Team Wickham" (think Team Edward and Team Jacob during the Twilight fad), but simply that every one of you fond of lieutenants, literature and/or Rupert Friend gives an opinion on the subject.

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